Influencing Skills

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MTL: The Professional Development Programme
Influencing Skills
INFLUENCING SKILLS
Diverting others to your point of view

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Influencing Skills
Attribution: All images are from sources where a Creative Commons license exists for commercial use. All icons are on subscription
from thenounproject. All clipart is from free sources. The MTL Professional Development Programme is copyright of Manage Train
Learn.
Influencing
Skills
Introduction: Influencing skills are of crucial importance to those who manage others
because they are an alternative and more effective way of motivating people than using
force, bribes, and threats. In this topic, we’ll look at 7 key features of influencing skills.

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Influencing Skills
1. WHY
INFLUENCING
WORKS
It is now widely recognized that, in most
situations, authoritarian ways of managing
people do not work. Instead of getting people to
do what we want, the authoritarian approaches
of "I know best" and "I'm in charge" cause
antagonism, anger and a job not done. In place
of dictating skills, people who want to work with
others use influencing skills. These skills use non-
forceful techniques to work with people rather
than against them. As a result, relationships
improve, people feel valued and the job gets
done.
Let people come to their own conclusions
Flickr attribution: /rappaportcenter/6964900104/

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Influencing Skills
2. CONSCIOUS
INFLUENCE
While most influencing happens without people
noticing it, it only becomes a skill when practised
consciously. To do this, you must know what end
result you want. You must know where the other
person is in relation to this end result. And you
must believe that you can close this gap in non-
forceful ways.
There are 3 strategies open to you:
a. you can tell someone what they should do,
say, or think
b. you can set them an example of what to do by
doing it yourself
Or
c. You can use influencing skills.
A key ingredient of Influencing Skills is the look of
authority and credibility.
There’s a hat here if you want it…
Flickr attribution: /imnothinginparticular/8011464429/

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Influencing Skills
3. BUILD
RAPPORT
Establishing rapport with someone is an
important pre-condition to influencing them. If
you don't build rapport, they won't even listen to
you, let alone change in the way you want. One
of the key skills in rapport-building is matching. It
is based on the principle that, when we are like
others in thought, feeling, and behaviour, they
like us more, find us attractive, and are prepared
to trust us enough to be influenced by our ideas
and actions.
Finding areas of common interest
Flickr attribution: /sbeez/6537091597/

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Influencing Skills
4. LIKING
The link between liking someone and influencing
them is well-established: Dale Carnegie wrote a
best-selling book exploring this link called "How
to Win Friends and Influence People". You can't,
of course, force people to like you. But one of the
surest ways to get others to like you is to make
up your mind to unconditionally like them first.
You will also find others start to like you if you
concentrate on the things you have in common
rather than the things that make you different.
It was late at night and my battery died…
Flickr attribution: /ninameigs/5349564534/

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Influencing Skills
12 Ways to Win People toYour Way of Thinking
1
The only way to get the
best of an argument is to
avoid it.
2
Show respect for the
other person's opinions.
Never say "You're wrong."
3
If you're wrong, admit it
quickly and emphatically.
4
Begin in a friendly way.
8
Dramatize your ideas.
7
Let the other person feel
the idea is his or hers.
6
Let the other person do a
great deal of the talking.
5
Start with questions to
which the other person
will answer "Yes".
9
Try honestly to see things
from the other person's
point of view.
10
Be sympathetic with the
other person's ideas and
desires.
11
Appeal to their nobler
motives.
12
Throw down a challenge.
(from Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”)

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Influencing Skills
5. MEETING
THEIR NEEDS
We all look to others to satisfy our needs,
whether they are physical, social, recognition or
emotional needs. If you can identify what others'
needs are, you can meet their needs while you
meet yours. So, if your teenage son or daughter
has an untidy bedroom and you know they need
money for a pop concert, they can easily be
influenced to tidy it up in exchange for cash.
Equally, if their primary needs are social, you
might allow them to invite their friends to their
room as a way of influencing them to tidy it up.
You can influence others to tidy their room
Flickr attribution: /erynegphotography/6827514628/

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Influencing Skills
6. BRIDGING
THE CHANGE
GAP
All influencing is about changing people's
behaviour, thoughts, and attitudes. Most of us
only change when we believe there is more to be
gained in the effort of changing than in staying as
we are. Where there is no immediate or obvious
need to change, we tend to stay as we are. Doing
what we've always done is easier and safer than
changing. That's why, if you want to influence
someone to change, you have to use some subtle
but powerful tactics.
Make it easy for them to move from here to there
Flickr attribution: /elvizlow/8420180748/

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Influencing Skills
Could You Resist Sexy Change?
In her book, "The Change Masters", Rosabeth Moss
Kanter argues that if you want others to accept a
change, you must make the change appear more
attractive, even “sexy”.
This means making the change more…
Triable Forexample,“we’llrunapilotfirst”.
Reversible
Thentheycangobacktotheoldwayif
theydon’tlikeit.
Divisible
So,iftheydon’tlikeoneaspect,wecan
ditchthatandkeeptherest.
Concrete
Tellthemhowitaffectstheirbottom
line.
Familiar
Explainthechangeintermsthey
understand.
Congruent
Startfromwhat’salreadyhappening
andworkingwell.
Sexy
Makeitfeelattractive,fashionable,
exciting,enticing,fun,anddaring.
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Influencing Skills
7.
ARISTOTLE'S
THREE
APPEALS
The Greek philosopher Aristotle used three
tactics to influence others. He called them three
"appeals" and they are ethos, logos, and pathos.
The first appeal, ethos, is based on your
reputation and credibility. The more credible you
are, the more you can influence others. The
second appeal, logos, is based on the reasons
you give for people changing. Logos appeals to
people's heads. The third appeal, pathos, is
based on how the change will make people feel.
When you use all appeals together, you have a
strong case for succeeding in influencing. Ethos, logos, pathos
Painting of Aristotle by Jusepe de Ribera (Wikipedia)

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Influencing Skills
This has been a Slide Topic from Manage Train Learn
AFinal
Word
There is no such thing as a guarantee that when you use influencing skills, people will change.
People who are heavily committed to where they are now may never change no matter how hard
you try. But at least in the process, you will not antagonise them. And if you can succeed with
those who are ready to change, in time, you may succeed with the rest.

Influencing Skills

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