Narcissism & Sexual Addiction

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Robert Weiss

Understanding narcissism as emotional survival in the context of sexual addiction.

Health & Medicine

What if Love Never Comes: Narcissism and Sex Addiction as Emotional Survival Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT Executive Director The Sexual Recovery Institute www. sexualrecovery .com Managing Director Sexual Disorders Program Life Healing Center of Santa Fe www.life-healing.com

Sexual Addiction Cycle Ritual Fantasy Acting Out CONTROL RELEASE Numbing Shame/Blame/Guilt Despair Any strong emotion ... Generates and stimulates our dependency needs Fossum/Mason/Carnes/Weiss et al. SHAME

Feelings Sadness Joy Anger Needs Nurturing / Understanding Mirroring Echoing / Support Inform

What are the Survival Needs of Infants? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

What happens to the infant if any one of these three are missing? the infant if any one of these three are missing? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Shame prevents us from asking others to meet our needs (to love us fully) ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Examples of Shame Based ‘Core Beliefs’ ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Development of the Inauthentic (Shamed) Self ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],All of which reinforce that I’m better off not needing anyone!

So Who is the Problem? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

How does the self get shamed? ,[object Object]

Attachment and Addiction ,[object Object]

“ It is thus impossible for the grandiose person to cut the tragic link between admiration and love. In his compulsion to repeat he seeks insatiably for admiration, of which he never gets enough because admiration is not the same thing as love. It is only a substitute gratification for the primary needs for respect, understanding and being taken seriously” Alice Miller: The Drama of the Gifted Child

Narcissistic Defenses Employed to Suppress, Avoid and Distract from Dependency Needs ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Beware the “Granola Narcissist” “ Granola Narcissist”

What does your addict have to say about the need for relationships and intimacy? ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Adaptive or Survival Based Coping Skills Can Provide ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],In Other Words ... This information should guide treatment

“ The Narcissistically cathected child has the chance to develop his intellectual capacities undisturbed, but not the world of his emotions and this will have far-reaching consequences for his well-being.” Alice Miller: The Drama of the Gifted Child

Healthy Ways to Meet Integrated Emotional Needs RECOVERY! ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Working Through ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Our Role and Job ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

Role of the Therapist ,[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object],[object Object]

What if Love Never Comes? Narcissism and Addiction as Emotional Survival Robert Weiss LCSW, CSAT Executive Director The Sexual Recovery Institute Managing Director, Sexual Integrity Services The Life Healing Center of Santa Fe www.sexualrecovery.com

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