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Fred Kofman on Managing Conflict

Do you dread difficult conversations? Avoiding conflict doesn't save relationships. Managing conflict makes them stronger. Learn the tools that turn conflicts into positive outcomes in this workshop-style course with LinkedIn vice president, philosopher of leadership, and influencer Fred Kofman.

Learn more from Fred Kofman's video course here:

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Fred Kofman on Managing Conflict

  2. But it doesn’t have to be difficult if we approach it with Mostofusareuncomfortablehavingconversationsaroundconflict. THERIGHTTOOLSTHERIGHTFRAMEOFMIND FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  3. Thewrongframeofmind:Iwanttowin,andIwantyoutolose. But there’s no such thing as “winning” a fight in a relationship. The moment you’re fighting, you’ve already lost. FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  4. Instead,lookatconflictascomingtogethertosolveaproblem. This framing dissolves 90% of the animosity. FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  5. Almostanyconflictconversationcanberesolved ifyoupursuethese4goals: Listen and understand what the other person thinks and feels. Explain your own thoughts, so the other person understands where you’re coming from. Discuss if there’s a way to come together with mutual benefit. Once you agree on something, make commitments and get it done. 1 2 3 4 FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  6. Howyoulisteninaconflictconversationiskey.Followthesesteps: BEQUIET Listen quietly without interrupting and pay attention ENCOURAGETHEM Nod, smile, and follow along as you listen CHECKYOURUNDERSTANDING Summarize what you heard in 1 or 2 short phrases, and ask if you got it right VALIDATETHEIRREASONING Acknowledge that you now understand their point of view FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  7. HOWYOUSPEAKALSOAFFECTSYOURCONFLICT Begin with an “I” statement to show it’s your opinion that you’re sharing BEGINWITHI Explain your reasoning, or why you believe it Explain Propose your idea or solution Propose Ask what they think about it ASK FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  8. Conflictsmayrequiresomenegotiation.Trythis: Negotiate for what really matters to you, rather than around a “position.” Good negotiators find ways to give the other person what they really want— without necessarily giving them what they originally asked for. FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  9. Themostimportantpartofnegotiationhappensbeforeyoubegin. Prepareforpossibleoutcomeswith“BATNA”: EST LTERNATIVE OA EGOTIATED GREEMENT B A T N A Ask yourself what’s the best you can do without the cooperation of the other person. What will you do if you cannot agree? What can you do on your own? FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  10. Agreementswithoutcommitmentareworthless. Somakeacommitment. Discuss who’s going to do what... and by when. FRED KOFMAN ON MANAGING CONFLICT
  11. WATCH NOW ON MANAGING CONFLICT WatchFred’sin-depthcourse toseethesetipsinaction. AvailableexclusivelyonLYNDA.COM