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RELATIONSHIP IN
MARRIAGE
The lifelong commitment of a man and his
wife to each other is something special.
God created marriage to bring joy and
blessing to men and women, and to be the
basis of a safe nurturing environment in
which children can grow up.
Kigume KaruriSaturday, March 31, 2018 1
• Marriage is described as a relationship in
which a man is united with his wife. Older
versions of the Bible use the expression that
the man is “to leave his father and mother
and cleave to his wife”. The idea is that the
union of two people in marriage creates a
bond so close and so important that it is like
the creation of a new life.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 2
• It takes over from the families that we grew
up in and creates a new family unit.
• A real key to all relationships is
communication. If there is little or no
communication, then the relationship suffers.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 3
• In order to communicate effectively.
• 1. Listen to understand rather than to be
understood.
• 2. Refuse to use the “silent treatment” when
something has not gone the way we wanted.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 4
• 3. Never “save up” hurts and anger.
Unresolved anger in any relationship builds a
wall between the two people until it makes
that relationship difficult to work. Resolve to
start every day with a clean slate.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 5
• 4. Attack the problem, not each other.
Remember that you love and respect each
other even in times of discouragement.
Keep the love you have at the forefront and
make sure the problem is secondary.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 6
• 5. Deal with problems sooner rather than
later. We have already stated the problem
with saved-up hurts; therefore, purpose in
your relationship not to let a day go by with a
problem unresolved.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 7
• 6. When dealing with problems, make sure
you put aside all lies, all falsehoods, and be
careful not to add exaggeration for effect.
Ephesians 4: 31 tells us, “Let all bitterness,
wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be
put away from you, with all malice.”
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 8
• Colossians 3: 9 says, “Do not lie to one
another, since you have put off the old man
with his deeds.” Later on, after the problem
is solved, the words we have used can make
it more difficult to be healed.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 9
• 7. Refuse to make comments that are not
relevant to the situation at hand. This not
only clouds the issue and is intended to help
one side or the other, but it also hurts the
ability to communicate effectively. A war is
won by fighting one battle at a time. When
we try to bring up multiple issues, usually
nothing is solved.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 10
• 8. Realize and utilize the right time to
communicate. There are bad times and good
times. When a husband comes home from
work, his body is there, but his mind might
not be. The same thing applies to a woman
who is busy with the kids, preparing dinner,
or dealing with other issues that are
important.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 11
• Men and women are different. That is why it
says in Ephesians 5: 33, “Nevertheless let
each one of you in particular so love his own
wife as himself, and let the wife see that she
respects her husband.”
• God knew that we were different and had
different needs. God wired us differently.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 12
• We must realize the differences and arrange
our expectations accordingly.
• We must decide today to give our marriage
relationship the priority times.
• Men must remember to listen with their
hearts and not only with their ears.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 13
• What do we do when our relationship has
become strained, maybe estranged?
• 1. Endeavor to understand the ways we have
offended or hurt each other. It will mean
asking and listening with an open heart.
• 2. Admit our major part in weakening the
marriage. Until we admit our part, healing
cannot begin.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 14
• 3. Express our sorrow to the other person
when we offend him or her. Do not hesitate
or rationalize.
• 4. Seek that person’s forgiveness for our
offensive behavior.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 15
• 5. Let that person see our consistent and
sincere efforts to correct our offensive words
and actions. If our marriage has lost that
romantic spark, it is probably because
someone is wounded in his or her spirit, and
it needs to be dealt with.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 16
• Relationships are destroyed by:
• 1. Small lies cause us to justify our thought
life.
• Once the small lie is believed, our thoughts
begin to manufacture reasons why we can
think unfaithful thoughts. Unfaithful
thoughts lead to unfaithful actions.
•Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 17
• A small lie often begins with unresolved
disappointments or an unforgiving action.
When we start justifying our wrong thoughts,
we start down the road to destruction.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 18
• 2. Small lies allow us to justify our actions.
• Once we bridge the gap of disobedience with
our thought life, it is a short journey to wrong
actions. Once our thought life has been
compromised, our actions are close behind.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 19
3. Unkindness to each other
• Relationships can spiral downward quickly
when couples start saying “no” to the little
things they ask each other.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 20
4. Withholding affection towards each other
• This is a way of punishing the other person or
to maintaining the upper hand. If you or your
partner is withholding love and affection
from each other, physical and emotional, it
could mature into a type of abuse.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 21
5. Lack of time for each other
• Quality time with your spouse is necessary
and important to sustaining a happy
relationship. Not enough enough time with
your spouse can cause problems in a
relationship.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 22
• 6. Broken trust.
• It takes a long time to build trust among the
spouses. Though you had been friends for a
long time, the marriage relationship brings a
new dawn in your life. You start knowing
each other better. Things you had not known
are now open to you.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 23
• Trust even grows more. But if any of you
breaks up that trust, the emotional hurt
would be so much to bear and it becomes to
costly to regain the trust.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 24
• It is possible to have goodrelationship in marriage.
• Always look for the positive in yourspouse. Buildtrust in the
relationship. Look for the good and not the bad.
• Your spouse is the greatest gift in your life.
Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 25

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Relationship in Marriage

  • 1. RELATIONSHIP IN MARRIAGE The lifelong commitment of a man and his wife to each other is something special. God created marriage to bring joy and blessing to men and women, and to be the basis of a safe nurturing environment in which children can grow up. Kigume KaruriSaturday, March 31, 2018 1
  • 2. • Marriage is described as a relationship in which a man is united with his wife. Older versions of the Bible use the expression that the man is “to leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife”. The idea is that the union of two people in marriage creates a bond so close and so important that it is like the creation of a new life. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 2
  • 3. • It takes over from the families that we grew up in and creates a new family unit. • A real key to all relationships is communication. If there is little or no communication, then the relationship suffers. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 3
  • 4. • In order to communicate effectively. • 1. Listen to understand rather than to be understood. • 2. Refuse to use the “silent treatment” when something has not gone the way we wanted. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 4
  • 5. • 3. Never “save up” hurts and anger. Unresolved anger in any relationship builds a wall between the two people until it makes that relationship difficult to work. Resolve to start every day with a clean slate. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 5
  • 6. • 4. Attack the problem, not each other. Remember that you love and respect each other even in times of discouragement. Keep the love you have at the forefront and make sure the problem is secondary. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 6
  • 7. • 5. Deal with problems sooner rather than later. We have already stated the problem with saved-up hurts; therefore, purpose in your relationship not to let a day go by with a problem unresolved. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 7
  • 8. • 6. When dealing with problems, make sure you put aside all lies, all falsehoods, and be careful not to add exaggeration for effect. Ephesians 4: 31 tells us, “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.” Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 8
  • 9. • Colossians 3: 9 says, “Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds.” Later on, after the problem is solved, the words we have used can make it more difficult to be healed. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 9
  • 10. • 7. Refuse to make comments that are not relevant to the situation at hand. This not only clouds the issue and is intended to help one side or the other, but it also hurts the ability to communicate effectively. A war is won by fighting one battle at a time. When we try to bring up multiple issues, usually nothing is solved. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 10
  • 11. • 8. Realize and utilize the right time to communicate. There are bad times and good times. When a husband comes home from work, his body is there, but his mind might not be. The same thing applies to a woman who is busy with the kids, preparing dinner, or dealing with other issues that are important. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 11
  • 12. • Men and women are different. That is why it says in Ephesians 5: 33, “Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” • God knew that we were different and had different needs. God wired us differently. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 12
  • 13. • We must realize the differences and arrange our expectations accordingly. • We must decide today to give our marriage relationship the priority times. • Men must remember to listen with their hearts and not only with their ears. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 13
  • 14. • What do we do when our relationship has become strained, maybe estranged? • 1. Endeavor to understand the ways we have offended or hurt each other. It will mean asking and listening with an open heart. • 2. Admit our major part in weakening the marriage. Until we admit our part, healing cannot begin. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 14
  • 15. • 3. Express our sorrow to the other person when we offend him or her. Do not hesitate or rationalize. • 4. Seek that person’s forgiveness for our offensive behavior. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 15
  • 16. • 5. Let that person see our consistent and sincere efforts to correct our offensive words and actions. If our marriage has lost that romantic spark, it is probably because someone is wounded in his or her spirit, and it needs to be dealt with. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 16
  • 17. • Relationships are destroyed by: • 1. Small lies cause us to justify our thought life. • Once the small lie is believed, our thoughts begin to manufacture reasons why we can think unfaithful thoughts. Unfaithful thoughts lead to unfaithful actions. •Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 17
  • 18. • A small lie often begins with unresolved disappointments or an unforgiving action. When we start justifying our wrong thoughts, we start down the road to destruction. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 18
  • 19. • 2. Small lies allow us to justify our actions. • Once we bridge the gap of disobedience with our thought life, it is a short journey to wrong actions. Once our thought life has been compromised, our actions are close behind. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 19
  • 20. 3. Unkindness to each other • Relationships can spiral downward quickly when couples start saying “no” to the little things they ask each other. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 20
  • 21. 4. Withholding affection towards each other • This is a way of punishing the other person or to maintaining the upper hand. If you or your partner is withholding love and affection from each other, physical and emotional, it could mature into a type of abuse. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 21
  • 22. 5. Lack of time for each other • Quality time with your spouse is necessary and important to sustaining a happy relationship. Not enough enough time with your spouse can cause problems in a relationship. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 22
  • 23. • 6. Broken trust. • It takes a long time to build trust among the spouses. Though you had been friends for a long time, the marriage relationship brings a new dawn in your life. You start knowing each other better. Things you had not known are now open to you. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 23
  • 24. • Trust even grows more. But if any of you breaks up that trust, the emotional hurt would be so much to bear and it becomes to costly to regain the trust. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 24
  • 25. • It is possible to have goodrelationship in marriage. • Always look for the positive in yourspouse. Buildtrust in the relationship. Look for the good and not the bad. • Your spouse is the greatest gift in your life. Saturday, March 31, 2018 Kigume Karuri 25