This is a powerpoint that I made up for one of my courses...it outlines different topics that counselors can break up to create group meeting topics or even workshops. Excellent for dating violence awareness week too.
Think of them as layers on a cake…with intimacy/physical involvement as the icing!
Healthy Relationship Powerpoint
Skin Deep <ul><li>Curriculum Objective: Educate students on the essential aspects to developing a healthy relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Created By: Amie Berlinski </li></ul>
What is Dating Violence? <ul><li>Dating violence is defined as the physical, sexual, psychological or emotional violence within a dating relationship </li></ul>
Examples of Abuse in Dating Relationships Include: <ul><li>Emotional Abuse: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Making a Partner Feel Insecure: name calling; put downs; criticisms; humiliating; attacking the person's capabilities; saying "Nobody wants you. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>"Mind Games: making to feel guilty; making to feel crazy; blaming the partner for things that go wrong; having the partner wait by the phone. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Isolating the Dating Partner from friends & family; pressuring the partner to give up activities, sports, work, and hobbies; keeping tabs on the dating partner when they go out by paging, calling or dropping by. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Using Intimidation: Breaking objects; punching walls; threatening looks; threatening to hurt the partner; threatening the partner's family, friends or pet; destroying treasured belongings. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Acting Extremely Jealous: not allowing the dating partner to talk to anyone of the opposite sex; accusing the partner of flirting or having sexual intercourse with others </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Physical Abuse: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Shoving or pushing; squeezing a shoulder; restraining by holding a wrist or holding a hand tightly; shaking, pulling hair; slapping, punching; kicking; choking; pushing out of a car. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Sexual Abuse: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Any unwanted sexual contact, comments or gesturing within a relationship; manipulating a partner into doing something sexual that makes them feel uncomfortable. </li></ul></ul>
Video Exert <ul><li>Causing Pain: Real Stories of Dating Abuse and Violence </li></ul><ul><li>This 2006 Emmy nominated film about teen dating abuse and violence shows real teens telling their stories of dating abuse and violence. The film describes how dating abuse and violence starts, how it progresses, how the abuser acts, and how to recognize it. </li></ul>
What does love mean to you? <ul><li>What is the difference between truly being in love and infatuation? </li></ul><ul><li>Always remember sex does not = love! </li></ul>
What’s the difference between: real love vs. infatuation? <ul><li>Topics: </li></ul><ul><li>Sexual Assertiveness </li></ul><ul><li>Establishing sober relationships </li></ul>
1. mirror image activity: Facing each other have students switch on and off being a leader or a follower with their bodies switch after 1 minute 2. Group discussion
What do we expect in a relationship? <ul><li>What do we expect of a partner? </li></ul><ul><li>How to Set boundaries in a relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Are our expectations reasonable? </li></ul><ul><li>Never settle for an abusive relationship! </li></ul>
<ul><li>Trust is an extremely important aspect to a healthy relationship! </li></ul>
Course objectives <ul><li>Knowledge: of healthy components to relationships </li></ul><ul><li>How to establish Boundaries </li></ul><ul><li>Attracting the right Partner </li></ul><ul><li>Being safe in a relationship </li></ul><ul><li>Confidence: that you realize you make the decisions in your life </li></ul><ul><li>Communication Skills </li></ul><ul><li>Conflict Resolution Skills </li></ul>
Self-esteem High vs. low self esteem What qualities do we have to offer?
How do stereotypes affect us? Media, Music, The way you dress…what do you think?
Effective communication handout Quality conversations Understanding emotions and inner feelings (p. 20 in engagement handbook Conflict resolution skills
<ul><li>First-define the problem clearly from both points of view </li></ul><ul><li>Each of you should say, “ I understand you are saying what you think </li></ul><ul><li>then the other should have a chance to confirm or correct the impression to make sure communication is clear. </li></ul><ul><li>Second- State what you can agree on </li></ul><ul><li>ex. I understand that picking you up late upsets you, I agree that it must be frustrating for you. </li></ul><ul><li>Third-Brainstorm together over all of the possible alternatives to the problem </li></ul><ul><li>Maybe even write them out and discuss the pros and cons to each </li></ul><ul><li>Forth- State what changes each of you is personally willing to make to arrive at a solution. </li></ul>Fifth- summarize the best solution you have considered. Adapted: p. 26-29
Trust Importance of you in a relationship and still maintaining friendships and independence
Respect: Values, feelings, thoughts and emotions <ul><li>What are some things that show a sign of respect to someone? </li></ul><ul><li>When you value someone what do you think about them? </li></ul>
Setting Boundaries: Emotional Physical Social <ul><li>List situations you can think of which you should not put yourself in… </li></ul><ul><li>Need to ask- Am I doing this because I’m trying to fit in? </li></ul>
Defining Intimacy: <ul><li>What does intimacy mean to you? </li></ul><ul><li>Why do we think that intimacy means sex- due to tv, magazines, etc. </li></ul><ul><li>In reality Intimacy can be thought of as “In to me see” </li></ul><ul><li>Connecting with people on an emotional level </li></ul>
<ul><ul><li>Adapted from The five love languages </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Words of Affirmation- </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Ex. You look great in that suit; you must be the best dancer in the world ect. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Quality Time- sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly uninterrupted context. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Receiving Gifts- visual symbols of love are treasured. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Acts of service- . Important to seek acts of service out of love and not obligation. </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Physical Touch- It is important to learn how your partner responds to touch. </li></ul></ul>
Always think safe! <ul><li>Use a buddy system-walk or look after one another </li></ul><ul><li>Know what to do when your boundary gets crossed </li></ul>
Violent or Unhealthy Relationships: Dating violence handouts Reality not Myth Taking action
<ul><li>Make up a scenario using one of these elements of power and control: in addition what should you do in that situation? </li></ul>
How to help a victim of Teen Dating Violence <ul><li>Let person know that violence under any circumstance is not acceptable </li></ul><ul><li>Express understanding, concern and support </li></ul><ul><li>Point out strengths and abilities in the person </li></ul><ul><li>Encourage person to confide in parent/guardian or trusted adult </li></ul><ul><li>Refer to counseling and other resources </li></ul>
How to Help a Friend Who is Being Abused Listen to what your friend has to say. Don't be Judgmental! Don't make them feel ashamed. They probably feel bad enough already. Tell your friend that you are available when they need to talk . Make it clear that you care, and that you are worried. Talk in private and don't gossip about what your friend has confided. Let the person know why you are concerned. Be specific . Refer to certain incidents you have witnessed and not to the relationship in general. Talk about what you saw and how it made you feel . Tell them the ways you believe the specific behavior is having an impact on them - "When she put you down you seemed embarrassed and then you made excuses for what she did." Or "When he was yelling you seemed frightened. "Offer to get information 180's 2nd Floor, Youth Helpline, 888.222.2228On line sites include - www.loveisnotabuse.comDon't give ultimatums - "If you don't break up with him (or her) I'm not going to talk to you anymore."
When to talk to an adult.. Who should you talk to? Sit down privately with your friend and come up with the right person together. Write down what you need from the adult, what you want them to be like. Make sure the adult you choose has your best interest at heart. It might be a parent, a teacher, a school counselor, a coach, or a friend's parent. Chart out all the adults you know and figure out who is your best ally. If you think your friend is in physical danger , but he or she doesn't want to seek any help, go ahead and tell an adult you trust. If you think the person's at serious risk, tell him or her you are going to go to an adult, and then do it.
What can you do yourself? <ul><li>Go to a safe place- remove yourself from the situation </li></ul><ul><li>Get help- call police, friend, family </li></ul><ul><li>Think seriously about your situation- you may think you can handle it…but think twice to be sure. </li></ul>
<ul><li>Jennifer Ann Crecente was a high school honors student that was murdered by an ex-boyfriend on February 15, 2006. </li></ul>
<ul><li>On March 1, 2009, police say the 18-year-old from Charlotte, North Carolina, was gunned down by her ex-boyfriend. Charney's ex-boyfriend Gary Daniel has been charged with her murder and has not yet entered a plea. </li></ul>
Sophie Elliot was stabbed to death by a former boyfriend on January 9, 2008 Sophie died after being stabbed or cut 216 times . <ul><li>Her mother described the "on-again, off-again" relationship between her daughter and her boyfriend </li></ul><ul><li>conversations she had with her daughter in which Sophie told her of put-downs from him, a series of arguments, </li></ul><ul><li>an assault that happened on his flat a week before her death and </li></ul><ul><li>how he had told her she had ruined his chances of becoming a lecturer at the university. </li></ul>
<ul><li>Bunn high school student fatally shot </li></ul><ul><li>May 11, 2007 BUNN, N.C. A 17-year-old Bunn high school junior's estranged boyfriend gunned her down in her front yard Thursday afternoon when she arrived at the home where she lived with her aunt and the couple's 2-year-old son. </li></ul><ul><li>Christopher Harris, was waiting in a car when Hernandez got off a school bus. She took off running, running to the front porch, to the front door, and he jumped out of his car,. He got out with a shotgun and shot her in the back. She fell to the ground. He ran up and shot her point-blank. </li></ul><ul><li>Hernandez died on the front steps of the home investigators said the couple's 2-year-old son was inside the house, along with her aunt. Hernandez's school backpack lay by the four steps leading from the lawn to the porch.Thomas tried to get inside. He could not get in and then turned the shotgun on himself. </li></ul>
Personal Rights in a Relationship THE RIGHT to refuse requests without having to feel guilty or selfish. THE RIGHT to express my feelings, including anger, as long as I don't violate the rights of others. THE RIGHT to be competitive and to achieve. THE RIGHT to have my needs be as important as the needs of other people. THE RIGHT to decide which activities will fulfill my needs. THE RIGHT to make mistakes and be responsible for them. THE RIGHT to have my opinions given the same respect and consideration as others'. THE RIGHT to change my mind. THE RIGHT to be independent. THE RIGHT to be treated respectfully. THE RIGHT to be cooperative and giving and not be taken advantage of. THE RIGHT to be safe.