Notes on Anger Management

1. Anger Management
 Knowthe differencebetweenangerandaggression.
 Angerisan emotion. Itis okto be angry.
 Aggressionisactingoutinappropriatelyandisnotok. Learnto check youraggressionand
expressyourangerappropriately.
Skills needed in dealing with your anger:
1. Identifyarange of feelingsincludinganger
 Embarrassment
 Excitement
 Disappointment
 Jealousy
 Fear
 Helpless
 Sadness
 Left-out
2. Identifyaggressiveactsbyself andothers
 Throw something
 Kicksomeone orsomething
 Get insomeone’sface
 Shoving,grabbing,hitting
 Breaksomething
 Call someone names
 Give someone adirtylook
 Silenttreatment
 Get othersto “gang up”
 Spreadrumors
3. Identifythe potential consequencestoself andotherfromthese aggressiveacts
 Physical harmto someone or self
 Destructionof property
 Loss of family/friends
 Loss of job

2.  Loss of social privileges
 Goingto jail
 Gettinga bad reputation
4. Identifyself-destructive behavior
 Negative self-talk
 Blamingeveryoneelse
 Takingeverythingpersonally
 Assuming
 Overeating, drinking
 Drivingrecklessly
 Takingdrugs
 Lookingforfights
 Feelingoutraged
5. Identifythoughtspriortoaggressiveacts
 You didthat on purpose…
 You wantedtohurt me…
 You deserve this…
 You neverevenaskedme…
 You’re beingunreasonable…
 You thinkyou’re sogood…
 I’ll showyou…
 You startedit…
 There’snojustice…
6. Identifyinternal cuestofeelingsof anger
 Stomachgets tight/upset
 Heart isbeatingfaster
 Clenchingfists
 Feel myself gettingflushed
 Pressure onmytemples
 Sweatypalms
 Clenchedjaw
7. Developcopingmechanismsfordealingwithanger
 Stepsto taminganger
 Knowwhatpushesyourbuttons.
 Knowyourbody’sangersigns.

3.  Stopand think!
 Cage your rage…it’syourchoice.
 Decide whatto do.
8. Expressangerwithoutlossof control
 Calmdown
 Name the problem
 Findsolutions
 Pickthe bestsolution
 Congratulate yourself
 Evaluate the solution
 Make changesif necessary
Anger Management Self Statement:
 I am in charge of my own feelings:
1. I ownmy feelings.
2. It isokay to feel angry.
3. Angerispart of beinghuman.
4. I learnhowto expressmyangerinhelpful ways.
 I choose to feel good about myself through expressing my feelings.
1. I expressangryfeelingsinwaysthatare fairto othersand me.
2. I use fairwords…e.g.“Ifeel whenyou”
 I stop blaming others and myself.
1. Blamingonlykeepspeople upset.
2. Blamingisa way of not respectingpeople.
3. I expressmyfeelingsandthentrytowork thingsout.

4.  I don’t have to hold on to my anger.
1. I findwaysto letitgo
2. I talkabout hurtand angry feelings.
3. I lookforsomeone to discussmyanger.
4. I discussmywordsand actionsthat hurt others.
 I remember that people are precious.
1. I watch mythoughts,words,andactions.
2. I stophurtingpeople withmywordsandactions.
3. I take ownershipof the hurtful thingsIdoand say.
4. “Bullying”hurtseveryone.
Ways to keep cool :
1. Get exercise everyday.
2. Eat right.
3. Get enoughsleep.
4. Learn to relax.
5. Knowyourfeelings.
6. Write aboutthose feelings.
7. Finda quietplace.
8. Take a time out.
9. Findfundistractions.
10. Make gooddecisionsaboutwhat yousee andhear.
11. Choose friendswhomake youfeel good.
12. Learn to forgive andforget.