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parakhiya vasant say anger management


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parakhiya vasant say anger management

  1. 1. PARAKHIYA VASANT <ul><li>Presentation of </li></ul>
  3. 4. Why are we here? <ul><li>Understand the roots of anger </li></ul><ul><li>Receive support, ideas and feedback from each other </li></ul><ul><li>Learn skills to deal with/manage anger </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Therefore improving interpersonal relationships </li></ul></ul>
  4. 5. Group Logistics <ul><li>RULES : participation, communication, other expectations of each other. </li></ul><ul><li>PROGRAM METHODS : interactive, smalls groups, worksheets, discussions . </li></ul>
  5. 6. Understanding Anger <ul><li>What anger is: </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Anger is ________________ ? </li></ul></ul>
  6. 7. Anger <ul><li>A completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. </li></ul><ul><li>However </li></ul><ul><li>Potentially a dangerous emotion, which can tell us a lot about ourselves. </li></ul>
  7. 8. There are lots of words to describe anger . <ul><li>What are some of the words you use to express the range of your angry feelings? </li></ul>
  8. 9. <ul><li>“ Anyone can become angry. That is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose and in the right way – that is not easy.” </li></ul><ul><li> Aristotle (384-322 BC) </li></ul>
  9. 10. ABC’s of Anger <ul><li>A : Antecedent or Anger Trigger </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What stimulated the anger response </li></ul></ul><ul><li>B : Behavior </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Reaction provoked by anger </li></ul></ul><ul><li>C : Consequence </li></ul><ul><ul><li>What happened as a result of controlling or not controlling one’s anger. </li></ul></ul>
  10. 11. Triggers of Anger <ul><li>External </li></ul><ul><li>Specific person (co-workers or supervisor) </li></ul><ul><li>Event (traffic jam, canceled concert or flight, talking trash about your family, etc) </li></ul><ul><li>Internal </li></ul><ul><li>Worrying about personal problems </li></ul><ul><li>Memories of traumatic events </li></ul>
  11. 12. Myths About Anger <ul><li>Anger is Inherited </li></ul><ul><li>Anger automatically leads to aggression </li></ul><ul><li>People must be aggressive to get what they want </li></ul><ul><li>Supressing anger is always desirable </li></ul>
  12. 14. <ul><li>Anger </li></ul>Anger fear Unappreciated Frustration Rejection Hurt Disappointment Embarrassment Humiliation
  13. 15. Physiological and Biological Changes <ul><li>“ Fight or flight” reaction (a natural, adaptive response to threat): </li></ul><ul><li>Increase in blood pressure and heart rate </li></ul><ul><li>Increase in energy hormones </li></ul>
  14. 16. Identifying Anger Cues <ul><li>How anger feels: </li></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Muscles tension </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Accelerated heartbeat </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>“ Knot” in the stomach or throat </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Changes in breathing </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Trembling or shaking </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Goose bumps </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Flushed face </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Changes in facial expression (eye brows, frowning, nostrils, etc) </li></ul></ul></ul>
  15. 17. Anger is natural <ul><li>Anger occurs naturally and cannot be avoided. </li></ul><ul><li>Find control techniques rather than anger elimination. </li></ul>
  16. 18. Exercise <ul><li>List three things you might reasonably want to do but can’t (omit the ridiculous). </li></ul><ul><li>List three things you don’t want to do but have to do anyway. </li></ul><ul><li>List two things you need. </li></ul>
  17. 19. Anger Becomes a Problem When: <ul><li>Felt too intensely </li></ul><ul><li>Felt too frequently </li></ul><ul><li>Expressed inappropriately </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Words, gestures, contact. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Results in negative consequences </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Assault, arrest, losing loved ones, termination from work/treatment. </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Results in negative self concept </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Guilt, shame, regret. </li></ul></ul>
  18. 20. Differences between Anger & Aggression <ul><li>Anger = Feeling </li></ul><ul><li>Aggression = Action </li></ul><ul><li>Anger is an emotion. It is ok to be angry. </li></ul><ul><li>Aggression is acting out inappropriately and is not ok. Learn to check your aggression and express your anger appropriately . </li></ul>
  19. 22. Session 4
  20. 23. Dealing With My Anger <ul><li>Express it </li></ul><ul><li>Suppress it </li></ul><ul><li>Clam yourself </li></ul>
  21. 24. ANGER MANAGEMENT A systematic method of cognitively recognizing anger and managing its effects Anger management does not involve getting rid of all anger, but using anger to enhance your life. We can look at the purposes of anger in both positive and negative light.
  22. 25. ANGER MANAGEMENT The positive aspects of anger are that you have increased energy, are able to communicate your feelings, able to problem solve and can take charge of the situation. The negative aspects of anger are that you can have disruption of your thinking, unnecessarily defend yourself, become aggressive and become known as an angry person.
  23. 26. ANGER MANAGEMENT Anger management would be seen then as increasing the positive aspects or functions of anger and decreasing the negative functions of anger.
  24. 27. Steps to Anger Management <ul><li>Identify personal signals of anger </li></ul><ul><li>Identify self-talk techniques </li></ul><ul><li>Learn problem-solving skills </li></ul><ul><li>Learn relaxation skills </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Diaphragmatic breathing, progressive relaxation </li></ul></ul>
  25. 28. Anger Management <ul><li>Anger Intensifying </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Yelling </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Sulking </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Pouting </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Hitting </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Other Violence </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Competitive Games </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Accusations </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Arguing </li></ul></ul><ul><li>Cooling Off Habits </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Abdominal Breathing </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Count to Ten </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Non-Competitive Exercise </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Distraction </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Humor </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><li>Empathy for Other Person </li></ul></ul>
  26. 29. Techniques to Avoid <ul><li>Raising your voice </li></ul><ul><li>Yelling </li></ul><ul><li>Saying “I’m the boss” </li></ul><ul><li>Insisting on have the last word </li></ul><ul><li>Using tense body language </li></ul><ul><li>Making comparisons </li></ul><ul><li>Using degrading, insulting, humiliating put downs </li></ul><ul><li>Using Sarcasm </li></ul><ul><li>Bringing up unrelated events </li></ul><ul><li>Holding a grudge </li></ul><ul><li>Nagging </li></ul>
  28. 32. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Skills needed in dealing with your anger: </li></ul><ul><li>Identify a range of feelings including anger </li></ul><ul><li>Identify aggressive acts by self and others </li></ul><ul><li>Identify the potential consequences to self and others from these aggressive acts </li></ul><ul><li>Identify self-destructive behavior </li></ul><ul><li>Identify thoughts prior to aggressive acts </li></ul><ul><li>Identify internal cues to feelings of anger </li></ul><ul><li>Develop coping mechanisms for dealing with anger </li></ul><ul><li>Express anger without loss of control </li></ul>
  29. 33. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Identify a range of feelings including anger: </li></ul><ul><li>Embarrassment </li></ul><ul><li>Excitement </li></ul><ul><li>Disappointment </li></ul><ul><li>Jealousy </li></ul><ul><li>Fear </li></ul><ul><li>Helpless </li></ul><ul><li>Sadness </li></ul><ul><li>Left-out </li></ul>
  30. 34. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>I am in charge of my own feelings : </li></ul><ul><li>I own my feelings. </li></ul><ul><li>It is okay to feel angry. </li></ul><ul><li>Anger is part of being human. </li></ul><ul><li>I learn how to express my anger in helpful ways. </li></ul>
  31. 35. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Identify aggressive acts shown by self and others: </li></ul><ul><li>Throw something </li></ul><ul><li>Kick someone or something </li></ul><ul><li>Get in someone’s face </li></ul><ul><li>Shoving, grabbing, hitting </li></ul><ul><li>Break something </li></ul><ul><li>Call someone names </li></ul><ul><li>Give someone a dirty look </li></ul><ul><li>Silent treatment </li></ul><ul><li>Get others to “gang up” </li></ul><ul><li>Spread rumors </li></ul>
  32. 37. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>I choose to feel good about myself through expressing my feelings . </li></ul><ul><li>I express angry feelings in ways that are fair to others and me. </li></ul><ul><li>I use fair words…e.g. </li></ul><ul><li>“ I feel when you ” </li></ul>
  33. 39. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>The more I learn to take care of my anger the more powerful I become. </li></ul><ul><li>I need to control what I do with my anger. </li></ul><ul><li>I control how I let my anger out. </li></ul><ul><li>I practice cooling off. </li></ul><ul><li>I watch my thoughts. </li></ul>
  34. 40. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Identify potential consequences of your anger to others and yourself…what can that mean for you? </li></ul><ul><li>Physical harm to someone or self </li></ul><ul><li>Destruction of property </li></ul><ul><li>Loss of family/friends </li></ul><ul><li>Loss of job </li></ul><ul><li>Loss of social privileges </li></ul><ul><li>Going to jail </li></ul><ul><li>Getting a bad reputation </li></ul>
  35. 41. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Identify self-destructive behavior…How does that help or hurt you? </li></ul><ul><li>Negative self-talk </li></ul><ul><li>Blaming everyone else </li></ul><ul><li>Taking everything personally </li></ul><ul><li>Assuming </li></ul><ul><li>Overeating, drinking </li></ul><ul><li>Driving recklessly </li></ul><ul><li>Taking drugs </li></ul><ul><li>Looking for fights </li></ul><ul><li>Feeling outraged </li></ul>
  36. 42. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>I stop blaming others and myself. </li></ul><ul><li>Blaming only keeps people upset. </li></ul><ul><li>Blaming is a way of not respecting people. </li></ul><ul><li>I express my feelings and then try to work things out. </li></ul>
  37. 43. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Identify thoughts prior to aggressive acts: </li></ul><ul><li>You did that on purpose… </li></ul><ul><li>You wanted to hurt me… </li></ul><ul><li>You deserve this… </li></ul><ul><li>You never even asked me… </li></ul><ul><li>You’re being unreasonable… </li></ul><ul><li>You think you’re so good… </li></ul><ul><li>I’ll show you… </li></ul><ul><li>You started it… </li></ul><ul><li>There’s no justice … </li></ul>
  38. 44. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Identify internal cues to feelings of anger: </li></ul><ul><li>Stomach gets tight/upset </li></ul><ul><li>Heart is beating faster </li></ul><ul><li>Clenching fists </li></ul><ul><li>Feel myself getting flushed </li></ul><ul><li>Pressure on my temples </li></ul><ul><li>Sweaty palms </li></ul><ul><li>Clenched jaw </li></ul>
  39. 45. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>I don’t have to hold on to my anger. </li></ul><ul><li>I find ways to let it go </li></ul><ul><li>I talk about hurt and angry feelings. </li></ul><ul><li>I look for someone to discuss my anger. </li></ul><ul><li>I discuss my words and actions that hurt others. </li></ul>
  40. 46. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>Steps to taming anger </li></ul><ul><li>Know what pushes your buttons. </li></ul><ul><li>Know your body’s anger signs. </li></ul><ul><li>Stop and think! </li></ul><ul><li>Cage your rage…it’s your choice. </li></ul><ul><li>Decide what to do. </li></ul>
  41. 47. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>I take power. </li></ul><ul><li>I stand up for myself and others being hurt. </li></ul><ul><li>I learn to defeat negative self-talk. </li></ul><ul><li>I feel good about learning about myself. </li></ul><ul><li>I am strong when I use fair and firm words instead of fists. </li></ul>
  42. 48. ANGER MANAGEMENT <ul><li>I remember that people are precious . </li></ul><ul><li>I watch my thoughts, words, and actions. </li></ul><ul><li>I stop hurting people with my words and actions. </li></ul><ul><li>I take ownership of the hurtful things I do and say. </li></ul><ul><li>“ Bullying” hurts everyone. </li></ul>
  43. 49. <ul><li>Practical Tools </li></ul>
  44. 50. The Anger Meter <ul><li>10. </li></ul><ul><li>9. </li></ul><ul><li>8. </li></ul><ul><li>7. </li></ul><ul><li>6. </li></ul><ul><li>5. </li></ul><ul><li>4. </li></ul><ul><li>3. </li></ul><ul><li>2. </li></ul><ul><li>1. </li></ul><ul><li>You have a choice </li></ul><ul><li>Anger Control Plan to Avoid “10” </li></ul>* YOU LOSE! * Aggression *Negative Consequences * Violence * Loss of Control * Explosion
  45. 51. Anger Management Plan <ul><li>Event: What happened, Degree on Meter </li></ul><ul><li>Cues: Ways it effected me </li></ul><ul><li>Strategies: What can I do? </li></ul>
  46. 52. Communication <ul><li>Communication Defined- The act of expressing oneself in such a way that one is readily & clearly understood. </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Play the telephone game : ( ex: There’s a meeting that will take about an hour & ½ on Tuesday about policies & procedures at 3:45pm, in the conference room on the 3 rd flr, of the social sciences building on campus. Bring supplies to take notes and $5.50 to chip in for lunch.) </li></ul></ul>
  47. 53. Active Listening <ul><li>Role Plays </li></ul><ul><ul><li>Practice: </li></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Using “I” statements: I feel ______ when you _______ because __________. I want ________________. </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Example: I feel frustrated when you yell because I think you don’t care about my feelings. I want to find a better way to resolve things between us. </li></ul></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Checking in to rephrase/paraphrase </li></ul></ul></ul><ul><ul><ul><li>Avoid Communication blockers such as: name-calling, criticizing, interrupting, sarcasm, blaming, yelling. </li></ul></ul></ul>
  48. 54. Anger Management & Developing a Plan (cont.) <ul><li>Talk with a supportive friend </li></ul><ul><li>Time out (involves others – “contracts”) </li></ul><ul><li>Exercise </li></ul><ul><li>Explore feelings beneath the anger </li></ul><ul><li>Relaxation Breathing </li></ul>
  49. 55. Ideas to Make You Disturbed <ul><li>I must be loved by practically every significant person in my life-and if I’m not, it’s awful! </li></ul><ul><li>I must not make errors or do poorly, and if I do, it’s terrible. </li></ul><ul><li>People and events should always be the way I want them to be. </li></ul>
  50. 56. Ideas to Help You Function Effectively <ul><li>It’s definitely nice to have people’s love and approval – but even without it, I can still accept and enjoy myself. </li></ul><ul><li>Doing things well is satisfying – but it’s human to make mistakes. </li></ul><ul><li>People are going to act the way THEY want – not the way I want. </li></ul>
  51. 57. <ul><li>Ways to Keep Cool: </li></ul><ul><li>Get exercise every day. </li></ul><ul><li>Eat right. </li></ul><ul><li>Get enough sleep. </li></ul><ul><li>Learn to relax. </li></ul><ul><li>Know your feelings. </li></ul><ul><li>Write about those feelings. </li></ul><ul><li>Find a quiet place. </li></ul><ul><li>Take a time out. </li></ul><ul><li>Find fun distractions. </li></ul><ul><li>Make good decisions about what you see and hear. </li></ul><ul><li>Choose friends who make you feel good. </li></ul><ul><li>Learn to forgive and forget. </li></ul>
  52. 58. Some Other Tips <ul><li>Don’t take yourself to seriously. Not every disappointment is a tragedy. </li></ul><ul><li>Change your environment. </li></ul><ul><li>Timing is important. </li></ul><ul><li>Avoid anger triggers. </li></ul><ul><li>Find alternatives to anger-provoking events </li></ul>
  53. 59. ANGER MANAGEMENT- SUMMARY <ul><li>Calm down </li></ul><ul><li>Show mutual respect </li></ul><ul><li>Name the problem </li></ul><ul><li>Find solutions </li></ul><ul><li>Choose the best solution </li></ul><ul><li>Congratulate yourself </li></ul><ul><li>Review the solution that was picked </li></ul>
  54. 65. Thank You