Teague Ch 03

1. Chapter 3
Social Connections
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2. Healthy Personal
Relationships
• Relationships are at the heart of human
experience
– Family
– Community
– Classmates, teammates, colleagues
– Acquaintances, friends, intimate partners
• Relationships are fraught with difficulties
– Divorce
– Single-parent and blended families
– Living alone
– Electronic connections
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3. A Healthy Sense of Self
• Relationships begin with who you are as an
individual and what you bring to the
relationship
• Examples of important attributes are:
– A reasonably high self-esteem
– A capacity for empathy
– The ability both to be alone and to be with others
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5. Friendships and Other
Kinds of Relationships
• Friendship is a reciprocal relationship based
on mutual liking and caring, respect and
trust, interest and companionship
– Considered longer-lasting and more stable
compared to romantic relationships
– Offers a psychological and emotional buffer
against stress, anxiety, and depression
• Networks that provide social support also
increase one’s sense of self-worth
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6. Strengths of Successful
Partnerships
• Intimate relationships have similarities to
friendships, but also other qualities
– More exclusive
– Deeper levels of connection and caring
– Sexual component
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7. Strengths of Successful
Partnerships
• Independence and maturity
• Self-esteem and mutual respect
• Good communication
• Open expression of sexual affection and respect
• Enjoy spending time together in leisure activities
• Acknowledge strengths and failings
• Assertive and flexible in wants and needs
• Handle conflict constructively
• Friends as well as lovers; unselfish caring
• Good family and friend relationships
• Shared spiritual values
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8. Attraction
• People seem to use a systematic screening
process when deciding if someone could be
a potential partner
• Factors that promote attraction are:
– Proximity or familiarity
– Physical attractiveness
– Similar characteristics, including values and
attitudes
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9. The Process of Finding a
Partner: Dating and More
• Indirectness is not an effective strategy
– People who are straightforward and respectful in
developing a relationship are more likely to get a
positive response
• Partners are often found through social
connections
• The Internet is playing a larger role
– Enlarges the pool of potential partners
– Online social networking
– Importance of caution: How much do you really
know about the person?
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10. What Is Love?
• Similarity theory is based on the concept
that we fall in love with people who are
similar to us in important ways
• Social exchange theory suggests that falling
in love and choosing a partner are based on
the exchange of “commodities’”
– Love, status, property, services
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11. The Course of Love
• Beginning stages of falling in love can feel
like a roller coaster
– “Lovesick”
• Increased levels of dopamine
– Arousal of sympathetic nervous system
• Subsides as lovers become habituated to
each other
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12. Sternberg’s Love
Triangle
• Sternberg’s theory: love has three
dimensions
– Intimacy, passion, and commitment
• Different combinations produce different
kinds of love
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13. Sternberg’s Love
Triangle
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14. Nonverbal Behavior and
Metamessages
• Nonverbal communication includes facial
expressions, eye contact, gestures, body
position and movement, and spatial
behavior
• Nonverbal and verbal communication cues
make up the metamessage, or the
unspoken message you send or get when
communicating
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15. Building Communication
Skills
• When you speak, know your feelings, motives,
and intentions
• Use “I” statements
– “I feel…when you…” vs. “You make me feel…”
• As a listener, give the other person time and
space
• Good communication skills help make conflict
constructive
• Assertiveness: speaking up for yourself without
violating someone else’s rights
• Gender differences in communication patterns
can significantly impact relationships
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16. Gender Differences in
Communication
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17. Sex and Gender
• Sex is a person’s biological status as a male
or female
• Intersex is a condition in which the genitals
are ambiguous at birth
• Gender refers to masculine or feminine
behaviors and characteristics considered
appropriate in a particular culture
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18. Gender Roles and
Gender Identities
• Gender role is a set of behaviors and
activities a person engages in to conform to
society’s expectations
– Androgynous is the term applied to a person who
displays characteristics or performs tasks
traditionally associated with both sexes
• Gender identity is an internal sense of being
male or female
• Gender dysphoria: individuals who
experience discomfort with their sex
– Transgender: having a sense of identity as a
male or female that conflicts with one’s biological
sex
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19. Sexual Orientation
• Sexual orientation refers to the emotional,
romantic, and sexual attraction to a member
of the same sex, the other sex, or both
– Exists along a continuum
• Influenced by a complex interaction of biological,
psychological, and societal factors
– Heterosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction
to members of the other sex
– Homosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to
members of the same sex
– Bisexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to
both sexes
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20. Committed Relationships
and Lifestyle Choices
• Marriage
• Gay and lesbian partnerships
• Cohabitation
• Divorce
• Blended families
• Singlehood
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21. Marriage
• Both a legal union and a contract between
the couple and the state
• Age at first marriage has risen
• Benefits for both individual and society
• Important predictor of successful marriage:
positive reasons for getting married
• Characteristics of successful or unsuccessful
marriage typically present before marriage
• Men more likely to have a sexual affair;
women more likely to end a bad marriage by
having an affair
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22. Gay and Lesbian
Partnerships
• Same-sex couples have same desire for
intimacy, companionship, passion and
commitment in relationships
– Frequently have valuable relationship skills:
• Flexible role relationships
• Ability to adapt to a partner
• Ability to negotiate and share decision-making
• Effective parenting skills
• Homophobia: irrational fear of homosexuality
and homosexuals
• Gay marriage hot political topic
– As of November 2013, legal in 14 states
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23. Cohabitation
• Cohabitation is when two people of the
opposite sex live together as unmarried
partners
– Increased tenfold since 1960s
– More than 60 percent of marriages preceded by
cohabiting relationship
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24. Divorce
• Forty to fifty percent of first marriages end in
divorce
– Challenges of married life
– Insufficient problem-solving skills
– Lack of commitment
– Unrealistic expectations
– Unsuitable choice of mate
• Leading cause of poverty
• Especially hard on children
– Best served by continuing contact with both
parents, as long as parents get along
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25. Divorce Rates by Ethnic Group
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26. Keeping Your Relationships
Strong and Vital
• Cohesion: the dynamic balance between
separateness and togetherness in both
couple and family relationships
• Relationships are strongest when there is a
balance between intimacy and autonomy
• Flexibility: the dynamic balance between
stability and change
• Communication is the tool that partners and
families use to adjust levels of cohesion or
flexibility when change is needed
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27. Communities
• Community: group of people connected in a
way that transcends casual attachment
– Typically, shared common goals and sense of
belonging
• Being active in a community is likely to have
a positive impact on health
• Positive relationships within a community
are essential to personal health and growth
– Improve self-esteem
– Improve social capital: sharing and exchanging of
resources
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28. Community Starts Within
• Fulfilling community participation requires an
understanding of your beliefs, and how you fit
into a particular community
• Value system: guidelines for how you want to
live your life; map that provides structure for
decision making
– Values: set of criteria for judging what is good and
bad that underlies moral principles and behavior
– Purpose
• Meaning in life comes from using one’s strengths to
serve a larger end
– Goals
• When you identify and pursue personal goals, you
take responsibility for yourself and your life
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29. Finding a Community That
Works for You
• Religious and spiritual communities
– Spirituality: experience of connection to self,
others, and community at large, providing sense
of purpose and meaning
– Spiritually connected people stay healthier and
live longer
– Spiritual connectedness is associated with high
levels of health-related quality of life
• Social activism and the global community
– Social causes can unite people from diverse
backgrounds for a common good
– Peace Corps; Habitat for Humanity; Greenpeace;
Clowns Without Borders; others?
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30. Finding a Community That
Works for You
• Volunteering
– People who give time, money, support to others
are likely to be more satisfied with their lives
– One-on-one contact and direct involvement are
key to positive effects
• Service learning
– Meant to teach how to take the risk of getting
involved in the lives of others
• The arts
– Embracing diverse cultures past and present;
expressing inner thoughts and feelings
• Internet communities
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