The biggest challenge we face when we have to work in teams is to learn how to synchronize and orchestrate with other team members. This presentation throws some new perspective on those problems
Actually it happens the other way
Each one of can correlate and recall what exactly happens when we work as a team
Another visual clue
The worst case scenario
Blame game persists
Without realizing that the word BLAME ends with ME!
Today we will be addressing this issue
Helpful hint for the audience
Every team has its share of such people
The issue which we would be addressing shortly always brings complexity
They are slow and sticky
They entail heavy opportunity cost
What is your take on take on Difficult People, Do they exist actually
Most of us would say YES they do
I disagree with you all
People are not diffcult
Think about it
Keep guessing what makes people so diffciult
So People are not DIFFICULT!
Their BEHAVIOUR IS!
Most of the ‘difficult’ people we encounter are just being who they are. They’re busy being who they’ve always been. How they act. What they say. How they interact. Their behaviour has been cultivated over a lifetime. Just like you and I, right? Each one of us behave in a manner that is learned, from our experience
Working in Team is all about synchronization
To work as a Team it requires a Concious efforts
We have to make an intentional hard efforts in making TEAMS work
New ways to think about a colleague, employee or boss that we believe to be difficult.
Difficult people are not difficult until we believes that they are. People cannot be difficult. People can demonstrate behaviour that we may believe to be difficult to deal with, manage, work around, etc. But, people themselves are not difficult. You may find them Complex maybe… but not difficult.
People are just being who they are
Each one of us behave in a manner that we have learned, from our experiences.
We perceive People to be Difficult when their behaviour Is different from Our Expectations
We too can be Difficult for Someone Somewhere
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Second way to think about a colleague, employee or boss that we believe to be difficult.
What we think about, comes about. The eye sees what the mind looks for.
As soon as we believe that someone is difficult we seek out evidence to prove that we’re correct. Most of the time, this isn’t intentional. It’s our brain needing to find correlation and support for our belief about the difficult person. AND because we spend most of our time thinking about how other people should or shouldn’t behave with us, we spend very little time examining how we are reacting to them.
We are on a look out for correlation to support our belief about the difficult person
We are very judgemental about others
You cant blame other for their reactions
Please remember
Research has proven that
what we think drives how we feel
How we feel drives how we act
How we act decides our results
We may not like what other person do or say, but not liking how they behave is not an excuse for us to not accept accountability for how we behave.
We can however stop waiting for them to change.
Our behaviour is our choice, not a reaction to someone else.
We alone are the one in charge for ourselves and our results.
Third perspective in handling difficult people rather Behaviour
The more we resist dealing with them, the less likely to adapt and learn new skills for managing different personalities and perspectives.
Yelling in our mind and to others, about how someone should change or be different or stop doing that, will not find a solution to work within the situation.
Rather we will only find more challenges.
People don’t change for our reasons, they change for their own.
Yelling at them to be different doesn’t work. Understanding this and accepting this could probably be one of the best alternative that we can have
Acceptance leads to CHANGE.
Another perspective possibly could be
People move on
Even The Darkest Hour Has 60 minutes
The concluding perspective
Don’t give up who you are to work with a difficult person.
But try to learn new skills and challenge yourself to do more and be more for yourself and others
when we encounter someone we believe to be difficult it is our cue to learn a new skill, manage ourselves and others differently and to embrace the discomfort and challenge to broaden our capabilities.
Difficult people can be the sharpest tool kit we can ever encounter.
And even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time, the difficult people we encounter can truly be some of our greatest teachers.
Difficult people can be the sharpest tool kit we can ever encounter.
And even though it doesn’t feel like it at the time, the difficult people we encounter can truly be some of our greatest teachers
I consider them to be our Personal Emotional Trainer – PET
Some trainers are Soft, some are Hard and some are mediocore
Choosing to change our perspective will not change the fact that there will always be another difficult person at work.
Choosing how to react is in our jurisdiction
Regardless of how they behave, our actions and our interactions are ours to keep.
Think
Please feel free to mail me your comments at
Vinod.kr.sharma@gmail.com
Thank You