A short comedy script, written by Kelsey Theisen, featured on the Six-Page Scripts podcast.

1. ENTWINED
Written by
Kelsey Theisen

2. INT. APARTMENT - DAY
A brunette with golden eyes, 22, stands in front of her
LAPTOP in LINGERIE and a TOP HAT. A “low balance” alert
appears on screen. She dismisses it, positioning herself on
her webcam and pushing her breasts up. She clicks “GO LIVE.”
She takes off her top hat and pulls a CUCUMBER out of it.
CAMGIRL
Who wants to see a magic trick?
A STUFFED BLACK BEAR in a BLUE SHIRT sits in the background.
INT. CAMPUS - DAY
The video is now on someone’s CELLPHONE. The girl is licking
the cucumber and pulls a BOTTLE OF LUBE out of her top hat.
The MALE STUDENT holding the phone shows a FEMALE STUDENT
wearing a SWEATSHIRT with the same black bear mascot on it.
The male student forwards the video to--
INT. CAMPUS - CLASSROOM - DAY
Trey, 20s, TA, self-described fuck boy, sits at his desk. He
receives the video, responding “Late again, seen this” then
looks up to JOSIE, 22, a brunette with the same golden eyes.
Josie approaches Trey’s desk.
JOSIE
Can I please sign the roll? Sorry
for coming late.
TREY
(smirking)
It’s fine. I usually come first.
Josie signs the roll, appearing confused, but smiling back.
INT. LIBRARY - STUDY ROOM - DAY
Josie sits across from VIV, 20s, textbooks between them. Viv
wears multi-colored hair clips and uses Lisa Frank notebooks.
VIV
But Donaldson is the worst. Like
the actual worst professor in the
history of the world.

3. 2.
JOSIE
That’s why his TA makes $22/HR.
Viv, I literally can’t donate
anymore plasma. And I had to turn
off my bank notifications- I was
being haunted by a credit union.
INT. APARTMENT - KITCHEN - DAY
HAILEE, 20s, enters. She wears red lipstick everyday and
responds to catcallers by waving a bedazzled can of mace.
HAILEE
Bitch... I’d call you Chris Angel,
but he’s an illusionist and you
really shoved a cucumber up yo ass.
Ocean, 22, the brunette with golden eyes, is at the sink in
unicorn footie pajamas, scrubbing a SKIRT. A DILDO is suction
cupped to the countertop.
Ocean whips around, dropping the skirt. Her hair is
disheveled and there’s sweat trailed through her makeup.
OCEAN
How do you know about that?
HAILEE
THE Hub retweeted it, then I saw a
couple watching it on The L train.
OCEAN
Oooh, a couple?!
Ocean clasps her hands together, smiling, then pauses.
OCEAN (CONT'D)
WAIT! Trains, tweets-- My video
went viral?
HAILEE
#CUCUMBERCHALLENGE baby! Genius
marketing with the mascot cameo
btdubs. The people love you!
OCEAN
Josie’s gonna hate me! I thought I
moved that damn bear! Any advice..?
HAILEE
Hey Alexa--
Alexa responds, Ocean frowns.
2.

4. 3.
INT. DINING HALL - DAY
Josie and Viv sit at a table. Josie uses her phone as a
calculator as Viv half-listens.
A FRAT GUY, 18, interrupts them, a pledge pin gleams from the
pocket of his button up. He turns to Josie.
FRAT GUY
I know you’re more of a veggie
girl, but could ya bless my banana?
The frat guy gets down on one knee, offering Josie a BANANA.
JOSIE
Um... No thanks...
FRAT GUY
(loudly to himself)
They were right. Never meet your
heroes. You were too perfect.
JOSIE
What the hell are you talking
about?
The frat guy excitedly pulls out his cell phone.
FRAT GUY
This is like watching Billy Madison
WITH Sandler.
He cues up the video and passes his phone to Josie.
FRAT GUY (CONT'D)
This is my favorite part. You. Are--
He finishes his compliment with a chef’s kiss.
Josie watches Ocean squirt lube on a cucumber. Josie’s eyes
widen and her mouth falls open, which excites the frat guy.
FRAT GUY (CONT'D)
The face! I knew it was you!
She pushes the phone away, the dining hall stares at her.
VIV
You really are strapped for cash...
JOSIE
That’s not me!
The frat guy keeps watching the video.
3.

5. 4.
JOSIE (CONT'D)
That’s not me! I’m gonna kill
Ocean.
Ocean’s MOANS are heard coming from the frat guy’s phone.
Josie glares at him. He offers her the banana again.
JOSIE (CONT'D)
Can you leave?!
INT. APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM - DAY
Hailee is sitting on the couch eating popcorn while Ocean
paces with her cell phone. Josie’s contact is pulled up.
OCEAN
What if... What if I convince Josie
it’s her. Remember last Halloween?
The whole jello shots and pedicab
situation? She got halfway to the--
The front door SLAMS.
JOSIE (O.S.)
OCEAN!!!!
Hailee shakes the popcorn in her bowl, preparing for a fight.
Ocean stops pacing. Hailee leans forward, listening.
OCEAN
You know I hated retail. And I know
I wasn’t pulling my weight before
and I wanted to-- And you know I’m
interested in video production--
JOSIE
But-- Sticking a-- In your--
Josie can’t even say the words.
JOSIE (CONT'D)
I thought you meant makeup
tutorials!
Hailee’s eyes dart back and forth like she’s watching tennis.
OCEAN
Damn, just listen!
Josie motions for Ocean to continue and purses her lips.
4.

6. 5.
OCEAN (CONT'D)
I like camming. It’s thrilling. And
I’m good at it, Josie. You have
college and soon your TA-ship then
a career, and just the money I can--
JOSIE
You’re joking. I can’t go to my
interview! Everyone on campus has
seen that video, Ocean. And they
don’t know I have a twin!
OCEAN
Come on, Jos. This is all you’ve
talked about for weeks. You really
think some fossil saw my video?
HAILEE
(between bites)
Old, white, mean-- You know that
man freaky.
OCEAN
Will you go away?
JOSIE
Don’t bother, I have to go
exfoliate my eyeballs or something.
Josie storms out of the room.
INT. JOSIE’S ROOM - NIGHT
Josie is sitting at her desk making a pro/con list for having
facial reconstructive surgery. There’s a KNOCK at her bedroom
door. Ocean enters and has calmed down, unlike Josie.
OCEAN
Please go to your interview...
JOSIE
I can’t. Even if you didn’t ruin
it, I can’t find my suit skirt.
Ocean picks up a GIFT BAG from outside the bedroom door and
hands it to Josie. Josie opens it. It’s a new suit.
OCEAN
It’s a magic suit and whoever wears
it receives any job they want.
Josie narrows her eyes. Looking at the suit then at Ocean.
5.

7. 6.
JOSIE
How’d ya know I could’t find my
suit?
Ocean waves her fingers in Josie’s face.
OCEAN
Maaaaagic!
JOSIE
Yeah, enough magic from you.
Josie holds up the suit jacket, admiring it.
INT. ADMIN BUILDING - NIGHT
Josie waits for her interview, early as usual. She fidgets
with the pockets on her jacket, pulling out a PRICE TAG
marked $659.
Josie feverishly uses her cellphone to check her and Ocean’s
bank account. There’s $8786.26. Shocked, she looks at recent
deposits. She googles cam girl pay.
INSERT: average salaries, a Forbes article, “Women Are
Leading In The Multi-Million Dollar Category of Erotic Tech”.
The office door opens. Donaldson, 50s, shakes Trey’s hand and
thanks him for coming by, then invites Josie in.
INT. ADMIN BUILDING - DONALDSON’S OFFICE - NIGHT
Josie sits across from Donaldson who glances over her
TRANSCRIPT. Only paperwork and an old Dell sit on his desk.
DONALDSON
OK, Josie. I have your transcript,
but what can you tell me about you
that I can’t read here?
JOSIE
Like a-- Like a fun fact?
DONALDSON
Just tell me about yourself.
JOSIE
I-- I’m named after Tropical Storm
Josephine. Not that I’m a disaster!
Donaldson flips her transcript over and begins writing. Josie
tries to read it, but he flips it back over.
6.

8. 7.
DONALDSON
This isn’t some mall job, it’s real
work, hectic. Though I’ve seen you
can handle quite the load.
Josie shifts her weight, nodding slowly.
DONALDSON (CONT'D)
And successfully so. Some go soft
with age; but not me. I’ve always
rode people hard. I find students
perform best under pressure, you
certainly did.
Josie begins to panic, but realization washes over her.
JOSIE
Oh! Advanced Econometrics!
DONALDSON
Yes... My only concern is, will you
have time for me with your--
Donaldson pauses and removes his glasses.
DONALDSON (CONT'D)
Extracurricular activities?
Josie freezes. He knows. She looks around, trying to piece
together a response. He leans forward, waiting.
JOSIE
Look, that girl in the video isn’t
even me. And yeah she did something-
- Something questionable with a
vegetable, but she made a name for
herself. In a multi-billion dollar
industry! And I’m proud of her!
Adult film has a bigger economic
impact than Netflix. More
importantly, WHY are YOU talking to
ME about porn? I should report you!
You’re a freak! Sitting there
undressing me with your beady
little tenured eyes!
Donaldson sits back, stunned, pointing to Josie’s transcript.
DONALDSON
I was referring to you being VP of
Spanish Club and treasurer of SGA.
Josie mashes her lips together looking around. Donaldson
stares, waiting. Josie begins to laugh.
7.

9. 8.
INT. BAR - NIGHT
Ocean, Hailee and Viv sit at a high top drinking MARGARTIAS.
Ocean pulls out a METAL STRAW, using it to drain her drink.
OCEAN
Do you think Josie hates me? How do
you think her interview’s going?
Hailee refills Ocean’s glass from the PITCHER. Ocean drinks.
VIV
If you concentrate can’t you like
feel her feelings?
Ocean squeezes her eyes shut for a few seconds then flings
them open in shock. Viv leans back. Hailee doesn’t flinch.
OCEAN
No. And if we could, Josie is
wasted.
Josie walks into the bar with a curtsey and a Queen wave.
HAILEE
It does work, she’s hammered.
OCEAN
Noooooo! She got the job!
Hailee fills a glass and slides it to Josie. Josie takes a
few gulps.
JOSIE
Ha! I misunderstood a question and
went all Olivia Pope, white hat on
his ass.
Josie chugs her drink. Ocean wraps her arms around Josie.
OCEAN
This is all my fault. I should’ve
asked you first. But, you know what
they say-- Easier to buy apology
gifts than ask your twin sister if
you can make erotic film.
JOSIE
Well, I would’ve said no. But its
not up to me. We learned long ago,
we share a face not a point of
view. However, we do share a bank
account. So, let’s talk business.
8.

10. 9.
Josie pulls out a small notepad, filled with numbers,
budgets, and bill due dates and slides it to Ocean.
Ocean pretends to read it, sliding her finger down the page.
OCEAN
Deal!
JOSIE
And you pay our rent. Consider it a
fee for using my... Likeness.
Ocean closes the book and slides it to Josie, smiling widely.
OCEAN
Deal! Next round is on me!
Ocean gets up and walks over to the bar. Viv leans forward.
VIV
I wonder if she was sore after.
That cucumber was... Girth Brooks.
HAILEE
The real question is, is this why
she got fired from Whole Foods?
Ocean returns to the table and passes out shots.
OCEAN
I’d like to propose a toast! To
Josie-- My BFATF and badass
accountant.
JOSIE
And to Ocean! With her glorious
T&A, I don’t have to TA.
HAILEE
AND! To all of us, for surviving
this pickle.
Hailee, Viv and Josie take their shots. Ocean pauses.
OCEAN
Oh my godddd, it was an organic
english cucumber. And I took it
like a champ!
Ocean takes her shot.
VIV
Hey! Be cool, ladies, cool as
cucumbers.
9.

11. 10.
Josie giggles.
JOSIE
HA! Did you say ass cucumbers?
HAILEE
Okay, okay give her a break, it’s
not like she ate it.
Ocean shrugs her shoulders.
JOSIE
I mean you didn’t-- Did you?
Ocean laughs.
INT. APARTMENT - OCEAN’S ROOM - DAY
Ocean is standing in her mirror deciding between a Leia-esque
metal bikini and a faux pregnancy belly.
The door opens revealing Josie. Ocean whips around.
OCEAN
You should REALLY start knocking...
Josie pretends to gag. Ocean glares at her, strapping the
belly on in defiance and twisting her hips rhythmically.
FADE TO BLACK.
10.