A script featured on the Six-Page Scripts podcast.

1. LOVE, LTD.
An original pilot
Written by
Ada Lee Halofsky
WGA I335648

2. TEASER
EXT. PARK SLOPE STREET - VAN - DAY
JADE (late 20s)jumps out of a VAN with blackened windows.
She’s dressed like an astrobiology academic who went to
Coachella and never left. The van peels off.
Beads clinking and dashiki billowing, Jade tears down the
block, dodging dog walkers, strollers and garbage bags.
EXT. BROOKLYN BROWNSTONE - FRONT DOOR - DAY
Jade rings an ornate door bell. Catching her reflection in
the polished brass knocker, she adjusts her dreadlock wig
until her phone rings. She answers.
JADE
I’m about to walk in.
YURIAH (ON PHONE)
Roll out of there NOW. You’re
supposed to proxy for THIS chick.
Jade receives an image of GINNY, mid-40s, all big blonde
hair, big diamonds, big teeth and lipstick.
HERBERT (60s), in a seersucker suit, opens the door. He lays
eyes on Jade and swoons with panic. Jade stiffly smiles.
JADE
I’m sorry! I know, I don’t look
like her but--
HERBERT
I knew this was a horrible idea!
JADE
We’ll fix this!
Herbert slams the door in Jade’s face.
EXT. PARK SLOPE STREET - MOMENTS LATER
Jade charges down the block and into the idling van.
INT. VAN - MOMENTS LATER
Amid clothes racks, wig stands, track lights and make-up
kits, Jade pulls off the kaftan. Bandages cover her arms.

3. JADE
Yuriah, your screw-ups are KILLING
me. You better have video on Ginny.
Behind the wheel is YURIAH (mid 30s) crisply dressed, traces
of a long night under his eyes. He taps at a tablet screen
and turns it to Jade as she buttons a silk blouse.
OFF tablet: a video of “Ginny” (same woman in the texted
photo), sitting at a dining table, a YAPPING DOG in her lap.
GINNY (VIDEO ON TABLET)
You make me the happiest girl
alive. Love you, Honey Bear!
Jade dexterously attaches false eyelashes as a TINY GOLD
ELEPHANT TRINKET falls out of her bra and into the car seat.
JADE
So I’m Ginny’s proxy. She dated
that geezer I just met?
YURIAH
Until she ghosted him. He’s an
economics professor.
JADE
I don’t know shit about economics.
YURIAH
You’ll be fine. Just add “onomics”
after any word.
Yuriah’s looks outside at a dog pissing on a recycling bin.
YURIAH (CONT’D)
“Dog-onomics”, “Recycle-onomics”...
Yuriah’s eyes follow a woman running in short shorts.
YURIAH (CONT’D)
“Ass-onomics”--
JADE
I’m quitting.
Jade jumps out of the van, slamming the door behind her.
Yuriah spots the gold elephant on the car seat.
EXT. BROWNSTONE BACKYARD GARDEN PARTY - MOMENTS LATER
Beneath manicured trees, servers carry trays of canapés
through a crowd of political, academic and artistic types.
2.

4. SON 1 and SON 2 scrutinize Jade who, as “Ginny”, mingles with
Herbert, hand on his arm. Son 1 gulps a flute of champagne.
SON 1
(barely sotto)
Something’s off with Ginny. Nose?
Facelift? Different hair?
SON 2
(sotto)
Same tits.
Herbert holds court with a group of guests, Jade at his side.
HERBERT
It’s a Lucas’s critique cocktail
needing a Campbell’s Law chaser!
Nerdy guests and Jade laugh. Son 1 approaches Jade.
SON 1
Ginny, I’ve never seen you laugh at
Dad’s pathetic jokes.
Jade raises her drink and speaks in an East Texas drawl.
JADE
I’ve been studying “Vodka-nomics”.
More laughter. Herbert squeezes Jade’s hand. Son 2 joins.
SON 2
Don’t you look lovely.
JADE
Why, thank you, darlin’.
SON 1
Last we met, you looked-- older?
Jade flashes a steely smile.
JADE
I recall you were drunk as a skunk.
Like now. Also, you need a mint.
Son 2 smolders. Son 1 attempts more subtly.
SON 2
I haven’t seen Chaz. Where is he?
Jade hesitates. Herbert and his sons wait for a response.
SFX (FROM GINNY VIDEO): “Love you, Honey Bear!” Yapping dog.
3.

5. Jade summons a tear, remembering a dead dog she never had.
JADE
After the chemo-- oh, my poor Chaz!
Jade chokes up. Herbert leads her away glaring at his sons.
INT. BROOKLYN BROWNSTONE - KITCHEN - DAY
Herbert pours himself and Jade a Scotch.
HERBERT
I was skeptical. But you are an
artist.
JADE
Thank you.
As they toast, LOUD VOICES drift through the open window.
SON 1 (O.S.)
She’s SO using him. Since his
surgery, no way can he get a boner.
Jade looks to Herbert as he blanches with humiliation.
EXT. BROWNSTONE BACKYARD GARDEN PARTY - MOMENTS LATER
Loud pleasurable moans escape an upstairs window. Guests look
up, elbow each other and titter. Son 1 stumbles to the bar.
INT. BROWNSTONE - MASTER BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER
OFF OF: Headboard repeatedly hitting the wall.
JADE (O.S.)
Oh, yes! YES!
Jade, fully clothed, bounces up and down on the bed. Herbert
in his suit, peeks out the window, eyes twinkling.
HERBERT
They’re buying it. Could you-- make
it bigger?
JADE
That costs extra.
Herbert smiles affirmatively and joins Jade in a faux climax.
END OF TEASER
4.