Developing the draft version of the opening sequence script.

1. OPENING SEQUENCE
SCRIPT DEVELOPMENT 1
Adam Kalabiska
AS Level Media Studies

2. After having taken a closer look at the first version of my script, I
have successfully identified both the positive and weak/negative
elements. When it comes to the positives, I am really satisfied
with the overall story, the messages presented and the way
everything is set up for the rest of the film. Additionally, the
format and structure of the script is very accurate. On the other
hand, there are certainly some things which require a change. For
example, the lack of character descriptions and the common
usage of camera direction.
In terms of the title, it is currently just a working title. I most certainly
plan on either altering it or completely changing it, as it doesn’t have
much of a connection to the story and lacks any reflection of its key
themes and messages. (Then again, I definitely don’t want the title
to be too direct and obvious. It needs to be intriguing, some what
mysterious and its meaning should allow for a wide range of
interpretations from the audience).
Title page

3. The main focus of my adjustments which I have made to
this version is based on eliminating and adjusting small
mistakes scattered throughout to hopefully improve the
flow of the script for the reader.
In the first paragraph, I have noticed a continuity mistake.The action
contradicts thus of a later scene on page 4. It is of immense
importance to avoid such mistakes, as the story is operating on three
independent timelines, which may be slightly difficult for the
audience to follow and everything needs to be conveyed in the most
comprehendible way possible, in order for them to remain interested
and not get lost in the overarching plot.
Throughout the entire script, there is a common usage of camera
direction, which does not belong to the traditional script format.
Even though this is not a rarity in the case of filmmakers who both
write and direct their own films (also known as auteurs), such as
QuentinTarantino andWes Anderson. I have made the decision to
change this, as not everyone may understand the specific camera
terminology, but it also slows down the momentum of the narrative
for the reader and is simply much easier to read/follow.

4. Page 2 Page 3

5. Furthermore, I have noticed that there is a lack of character
description in nearly every scene.This most definitely requires a
change, as it makes the characters seem a bit dry and without
personality.This exact issue can be seen on pages 1, 2 and 4.
The same can be said about the dialogue, there is an area where it
could undoubtedly be extended a bit to hopefully reveal more
information about the characters (both their wants and needs).
Then again, nowhere near everything needs to conveyed through
only dialogue.As Syd Field states in his book Screenplay:The
Foundations of Screenwriting, action is character, not vice versa.
Just like on all the previous pages, there are also a few spelling
errors there and there. But that is truly a miniscule detail in the
grand scheme of things and is a really simple correction.
Page 4

6. Lastly, there is some unnecessary information for the reader
present on the last page. Once again, this only slows down the pace
of the script, it can be easily fixed by instead taking out the useful
information and attaching it to one of the two main paragraphs of
the scene for further context.
I’ll be sure to implement all of these changes in my second and
hopefully final version of the script, thereby achieving the proper
blueprint for the opening sequence.
Page 5
(Final page)