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DRI Sharing Success Seminar for Women
      Lawyers February 23, 2012
What’s so
great about
me?
• Stride in
• Introduce yourself (hand shake)
  to anyone you don’t know
• Make eye contact
• Choose the best available seat
• Brief small talk
• Restate the question
• Say what you did to answer it
• Answer the question
   – We have an excellent chance of
     prevailing if . . .
   – We have the following problems
   – The client should understand
     that . . .
   – We need to learn more about
     this . . .
What are Our Negotiation
Strengths and Weaknesses?
Female Bargaining
• take a broad or 'collective' perspective
                                                   Advantages
• view elements in a task as interconnected
  and interdependent
• see the big picture and come up with a
  systematic plan on how to solve it.
• work through steps by sharing experiences
  while figuring out what both sides can gain
  to achieve an integrated outcome.
• more concerned about how problems are
  solved than merely solving the problem
  itself
• Instead of concentrating on what they want
  or need to get out of the negotiation
  women focus on what both sides need and
  how both parties can get what they want
Male Bargaining
                                  Advantages
Feel bargaining advantage
Feel entitled to more rewards
Less likely to back down
Use more distributive tactics
Feel entitled to information
Seen as stronger speakers than
   women
Seek more power
Intimidate
We measure our income by
     what we need
We compare ourselves to our women friends
often leading us to value ourselves less than male peers
and anchoring women’s
compensation, power
and income too low
We work
    22%
longer and
10% faster
  for the
   same
  reward
We over-deliver
 to others and
under-deliver to
   ourselves
They’ll notice what I’m doing and reward me
If they don’t reward me, I don’t deserve it
I’ll offend someone and be punished
It’s selfish to ask for myself
I’d rather be happy than rich
Don’t worry about me,
I’ll just sit here in the dark . . .
• People err in one direction or
  the other by:
   – Prioritizing the relationship
     & saying “yes” when you
     want/need to say “no” or
   – Prioritizing their own power
     by brusquely saying “no” or
   – Take middle ground of
     avoidance saying nothing &
     hoping a problem won’t
     arise
What would you do
with

  Greater influence
  More authority
  More power
  More free time
  Less stress
  Greater satisfaction
  More money
Negotiation

 Conflict
Responses to
        Conflict
•   Suppression
•   Avoidance
•   Resolution
•   Transformation
•   Transcendence
Dispute Resolution Tactics
• Yielding/Ingratiation
• Shaming
• Persuasive
  argumentation
• Promises of future action
• Threats of future action
• Physical force
The Big Book of “How To”
Crossing Gender Boundaries
Ask
Anchor
 Close
Negotiation is a
 conversation
 leading to
 agreement
recognize the
opportunity to
  negotiate

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DRI Women Lawyers' Seminar Negotiation Training

  • 1. and changes everything . . . . DRI Sharing Success Seminar for Women Lawyers February 23, 2012
  • 3. • Stride in • Introduce yourself (hand shake) to anyone you don’t know • Make eye contact • Choose the best available seat • Brief small talk • Restate the question • Say what you did to answer it • Answer the question – We have an excellent chance of prevailing if . . . – We have the following problems – The client should understand that . . . – We need to learn more about this . . .
  • 4. What are Our Negotiation Strengths and Weaknesses?
  • 5. Female Bargaining • take a broad or 'collective' perspective Advantages • view elements in a task as interconnected and interdependent • see the big picture and come up with a systematic plan on how to solve it. • work through steps by sharing experiences while figuring out what both sides can gain to achieve an integrated outcome. • more concerned about how problems are solved than merely solving the problem itself • Instead of concentrating on what they want or need to get out of the negotiation women focus on what both sides need and how both parties can get what they want
  • 6. Male Bargaining Advantages Feel bargaining advantage Feel entitled to more rewards Less likely to back down Use more distributive tactics Feel entitled to information Seen as stronger speakers than women Seek more power Intimidate
  • 7.
  • 8. We measure our income by what we need
  • 9. We compare ourselves to our women friends
  • 10. often leading us to value ourselves less than male peers
  • 11. and anchoring women’s compensation, power and income too low
  • 12. We work 22% longer and 10% faster for the same reward
  • 13. We over-deliver to others and under-deliver to ourselves
  • 14. They’ll notice what I’m doing and reward me
  • 15. If they don’t reward me, I don’t deserve it
  • 16. I’ll offend someone and be punished
  • 17. It’s selfish to ask for myself
  • 18. I’d rather be happy than rich
  • 19. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just sit here in the dark . . .
  • 20. • People err in one direction or the other by: – Prioritizing the relationship & saying “yes” when you want/need to say “no” or – Prioritizing their own power by brusquely saying “no” or – Take middle ground of avoidance saying nothing & hoping a problem won’t arise
  • 21. What would you do with Greater influence More authority More power More free time Less stress Greater satisfaction More money
  • 23. Responses to Conflict • Suppression • Avoidance • Resolution • Transformation • Transcendence
  • 24. Dispute Resolution Tactics • Yielding/Ingratiation • Shaming • Persuasive argumentation • Promises of future action • Threats of future action • Physical force
  • 25. The Big Book of “How To”
  • 28. Negotiation is a conversation leading to agreement

Editor's Notes

  1. When asked what we believe we deserve to be paid for our work, we undervalue ourselves by between 3 and 30%The wage gap is one-third
  2. When we are asked to work until we believe we’re entitled to the $X we’re told we’ll be paid, we work 22 percent longer and 10% faster than men