The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 20.5


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In which there is Cow Mascot trauma, engagements, a confrontation, dates, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

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The Vetinari Dualegacy Chapter 20.5

  1. 1. Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 20.5: Intimates. Last time, Fair and Bucky randomly got mad at people, Tess was awesome, Bell and PB dated a whole lot, and Mal found a boyfriend and her brother's ex. That about sums it all up. Also, I am writing this in Open Office rather than Powerpoint, so please excuse any formatting weirdness, since I'm still figuring out what all the buttons do. May as well start where we left off with the spare houses!
  2. 2. The girls are still hanging around and trying to stay out of trouble. I don't mind pillow-fighting, as it is unlikely to lead to shouting and slapping and hurt feelings.
  3. 3. Meadow's a pretty frequent walkby, and I always send someone out to greet her when she passes by. For someone in the Llama Cult, she doesn't have a lot of friends. However, she DOES manage to get her Big Sim On Campus memory before Faraday, who is at this point the ONLY Sim I have at Uni without it.
  4. 4. “They're so cute it makes my teeth hurt.” Right? I'm hoping for some Vetinari schnoz. I miss me some Vetinari schnoz.
  5. 5. Anyway, it's not ALL cute. Especially when there is chess involved, since they're both inveterate cheaters. Baz gets away with it far more often than daddy Larch.
  6. 6. “Hate to tell you this, Naked Guy, but I'm sorta not impressed.” “That is okay! Naked Guy does not need to impress you! All right!”
  7. 7. “Whaddaya say? You, me, honking noises, now?” “Finally! We've only been sharing the same bed since forever!” “So that's a yes?” “YES.”
  8. 8. These two finally get their demented purple hearts. And a whole lot of Aspiration points to go along with them.
  9. 9. “Hey, is he really gonna...?” Yup.
  10. 10. Of course Baz goes to class in his undies! ...Why, what did you think she meant?
  11. 11. The blonde guy is Michael Turner. I got him for Kate, so she'd stop rolling things for Scotty and Bell that she will never, ever get to do. I do not feel that she thinks of Michael Turner as an adequate consolation prize.
  12. 12. “Come on, let me make you over to something I can change my turnons to so I'll be more attracted to you and less attracted to everyone else!” “That's sort of a half-assed compliment.” “Just sit still! You totally trust me, right?”
  13. 13. “So you're, what, into blind drag queens?” “Eep! I'll fix it, I promise!”
  14. 14. “Blind drag queens who use their blowdryers in the bathtub. Awesome.” “I'll fix it! I can do this!”
  15. 15. This is the look we settled on. A hat, and some full face makeup freckles. Kate still has more bolts for Scotty and Bell.
  16. 16. This looks very sweet and touching, until I tell you that in Kate's Want Panel right now are “Invite Scott Over” and “Fall in Love with Marconi.”
  17. 17. She still rolls almost no Wants for him, but plenty for Scott in particular. I have decided that she is no longer allowed to come to parties, because I can't trust her to keep her grubby little Family Sim hands off.
  18. 18. PEOPLE! You cannot fit four Sims into a 2x3 bathroom that already contains a showertub, sink, and toilet!
  19. 19. “Did you really need to get a drink?” “No. But the view's nice.” “I know. I totally work out.” “And I appreciate that.”
  20. 20. “Ow! River!” “You are so hot when you're beating up Kate.” Ten seconds later...
  21. 21. “Ow! Uncle Baz!” “You are so hot when you're beating up Kate.”
  22. 22. “Fix that computer, fix it good! Fix it like a techie would! River! River! Gooooooo River!” “...Baz! Got some trash for you to take to the curb!”
  23. 23. “Hey, are you done with that?” “Yeah, why? Are you cleaning up?” “No, silly, I'm going to eat it!” Brittany's replacement cheerleader cracks me up.
  24. 24. These two are often found joined at the lip.
  25. 25. It does backfire sometimes, though, like when River is hungry and Baz is stalking her, and first he's standing in front of the fridge, and then he's standing in front of the counter she wants, and then he's standing in front of the stove, and eventually I have to Macro... Repair to get him out of the room.
  26. 26. Or I can just send him out to the Expensive “Stop Whining Already” Fountain.
  27. 27. Yes, Basil. You are quite the rogue, pouring soap into your own fountain, that I bought specifically for you when your Aspiration dropped.
  28. 28. “Soap in the fountain, eh?” “Yeah, I'm totally a rebel.” “Hottest rebel I know.”
  29. 29. Scotty is not a rebel, but if Kate ever finds out that he's flirting with someone who isn't her, he might need to hire an army of mercenaries to keep her at bay.
  30. 30. Scotty wanted a party, which I threw, but the house is a bit on the small side to invite the whole crew, which I did anyway, and then spent the next few minutes groaning at the bottlenecks.
  31. 31. For instance, could anyone maybe move away from the front door? Which also happens to be the ONLY door to the outside? Please?
  32. 32. And could the people not actively involved in eating something get out of the kitchen? Bucky, I see you there with your homework. And PB and Connor, you do not have plates in your hands!
  33. 33. I mean, really, was it entirely necessary to make Scotty get stuck at his own party? Even Bell seems to feel sorry for the guy.
  34. 34. None of which quite captures the fun of having Carver around and uncontrollable. Ahahaha, there I am, under the delusion that sometimes I have control.
  35. 35. Brooke took it all in stride, though, even the Dirty Joke.
  36. 36. Remember Bucky and Fair's feud? Well, they're still playing Hatfields & McCoys, so I had PB distract Bucky right quick, before it came to blows. Fair is not allowed at parties anymore either. Bucky seems more able to behave himself in public.
  37. 37. This bunch, at least, stay out of the traffic jams, behave themselves, and quietly raise the party score.
  38. 38. For reference, the only people who didn't get invites to the party were Kate and Marco. And I'd have invited Marco, but it was an afternoon party, and I didn't want him to die from the sun. Plenty of time for that later, when my ineptitude with caring for vampires puts him in harm's way on a daily (nightly?) basis.
  39. 39. When things seem to be slowing down, spending some of that Influence is a good way to heat things back up. Mal is still pissed at the burglar. She's a Vetinari and a Fortune Sim; I don't think she'll ever be getting over that.
  40. 40. These two did their part as well, as soon as I pried Connor away from Baz. They weren't friends yet, so Connor's Pop Sim radar had Baz in his sights.
  41. 41. “No stalking Connor?” “Eh, he's already Best Friends with me, and there are other people to socialize with. Anyway, you're not stalking Bell.” “Are you kidding? I'm enjoying the breather!”
  42. 42. Of course, Red Hands tournaments are a good way of getting the party score up too.
  43. 43. Scott was just happy to have a successful party, and I was happy that his Aspiration was no longer red.
  44. 44. Even without parties, there's still plenty of fun to be had. Connor likes pillow fighting, but respects the appropriate boundaries. I'm sort of proud of him not making passes at PB.
  45. 45. Of course, that may be because he likes hanging out with Bell when PB has to go to class during the middle of their dating schedule. I don't think Bell really knows PB's gone for those few hours.
  46. 46. “Isn't this great? The part where we're NOT on a date? We should do this more often.” “We WOULD, if someone hadn't rolled 50 Dream Dates.”
  47. 47. “Whatever. Bored now. Someone entertain me. Anyone? Connor? Niobe? Anyone?”
  48. 48. How many Sims does it take to make a bed? Three, but only if they need a committee to do it.
  49. 49. Move it along, people, nothing to see here...
  50. 50. Meanwhile, things have gotten a little dicier after dark ever since Dead Coach Stinkypants became, well, DEAD Coach Stinkypants. Perhaps I should explain. A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away... Fairly recently, in the front yard...
  51. 51. “Much appreciated. That guy was a real pain in the... gluteus maximus, with all these stupid squats he's making me do.” Well, what use is having a Smite button if you never use it?
  52. 52. “Too many Smites!” Are there ever too many Smites?
  53. 53. “There are when you Smite Coach Stinkypants to death.” In all fairness, he wasn't actually stinky until I Smote him that last time.
  54. 54. “Hey, um, I'm super-neat and super-nice, but I'm not gonna mop up the dead guy.”
  55. 55. “I might have been persuaded to mop up the dead guy, but I don't actually live here and then I got this scythe shoved through my face, so I'm not all that inclined to be helpful at this time.”
  56. 56. “Crap, uh, please don't take Coach Stinkypants! We'll really, like, miss him, and stuff!” “Do you mean Adrian Phelps?” “Sure! Uh, 'Coach Stinkypants' is our nickname for him! We sure do love ol' Alan.” “Adrian.” “Yeah, him.”
  57. 57. “Choose the proper hand, and he will be saved. Choose incorrectly, and he will die.” “Do you really have to do this? Can't you just give us back Adnan?” “Adrian.” “So that's a 'no', huh?”
  58. 58. “Ok, I can do this. What would Jack do? Hitting you with a pillowcase stuffed with contraband is not an option. Also I don't think there's enough time to confuse you with big words all strung together. Um... Left hand!”
  59. 59. “You are incorrect.” “No, wait, I meant your left! Your left, not my left!”
  60. 60. “That's just great. Now we have a smelly Hunger ghost we can't bring back to life. Fanfreakingtastic.”
  61. 61. “So, you wanna make the most of our last night to be able to date after dark before Dead Coach Stinkypants starts haunting?” “Why, yes. Yes I do.”
  62. 62. Here lies Dead Coach Stinkypants, aka Adrian Phelps, first casualty at college since Enemy Kevin. No one misses him.
  63. 63. He's a bit of a crabby ghost, to tell the truth. He's out almost every night, and scares everyone he comes across, except for Niobe, who is of course the only one who actually WANTS to see his dead ass.
  64. 64. Much like when he was alive, his main target is PB. He sometimes gets her two or three times in a single night. I don't think she'll regret moving back to Riverblossom Hills.
  65. 65. Still, though, one good way to boost your mood after a night of ghost scares...
  66. 66. Bell still loves to bring over expensive stuff. On this particular night, he didn't just bring a Dance Sphere...
  67. 67. ...he brought TWO Dance Spheres. I sold them and upgraded some more of the furniture.
  68. 68. “Whatcha doin', Bell?” “Studying. How 'bout you?” “I'm studying too. Heh heh heh.”
  69. 69. Over at the Landgraab house, Meadow has the same response to the neighborhood telescope- slapper as most of the Vetinaris do. She's a stock Scorpio, so she's a bit short on Nice points. Lisa Ramirez should be more cautious about coming to slap.
  70. 70. “Max, sit up. I wanna sit down.” “As you wish.”
  71. 71. “I don't suppose you wanna snuggle?” “I thought you'd never ask.”
  72. 72. “Now isn't this better than sitting on the couch by yourself?” “Oh hell yes.”
  73. 73. Yes, Max is quite the teddy bear. He stalks Mal almost as much as if they had three bolts.
  74. 74. They don't, though. Just two, due to Pop/Fortune incompatibility.
  75. 75. But I'm guessing that if you told them there was anything incompatible about their relationship, you'd have to deal with Mal, and she's got a mean right hook.
  76. 76. “Hey! My sandwich is getting all wet! I'm not gonna eat this if the bread's all soggy!” I think this one was Meadow's fault. You can see the TV dinner in the oven. Someone who wasn't Max put it there and then went to class.
  77. 77. Everyone in the house is great friends. Meadow and Max have neutral chemistry, and I don't have to worry about them doing anything behind Mal's back.
  78. 78. Ooooh, it's the most wonderful time of the year! Cow Mascot Trauma Day!
  79. 79. Mal gets to do the honors. I can only imagine what sort of fun Larch and Cypress and Sycamore would have had with one of these things Back In The Day.
  80. 80. “Uh, honey? You might want to aim that thing someplace a little less crotch-y if you ever want to have a Malcolm Landgraab VI.”
  81. 81. And look, Lisa Ramirez has returned to yell at Meadow again! Notice Max getting out of the line of fire.
  82. 82. Or, you know, he was just walking around to get a better view of the show.
  83. 83. “Mal! Mal, would you just come out and talk to me? I'm sorry, all right? Come on, would you just talk to me for two minutes? Without hitting me? Please?”
  84. 84. “You are not my sister.” “I'm your sister's boyfriend.” “I didn't know she had one of those.” “Yeah, well, she's not here right now, so you can come in and wait if you want or you can go. Either way she'll be home in a few minutes.” “I'll wait.”
  85. 85. “Max, I'm home! I was thinking salad for dinner tonight, unless you... Eddie?”
  86. 86. “Hey, Mal.” “Don't you 'Hey, Mal' me, you ass.” “Still angry, then?” “Damn right I'm still angry! You promised me that you wouldn't just abandon me, and that's exactly what you did! And for what? Mom's still dead, and all you did is hurt the people who cared about you!”
  87. 87. “I couldn't have said it better myself.”
  88. 88. “Meadow? What are you...? I mean, I'm sorry.”
  89. 89. “Hey! Ow! Stoppit!”
  90. 90. “You know exactly why you deserved that, Eddie Landgraab. You think you can just walk in here and act like nothing happened? You can't. And your apologies are pretty feeble.” “Agreed. Maybe Dad was inclined to forgive and forget, but I'm not.”
  91. 91. “Ow! What the hell? I don't even know you, you meathead!”
  92. 92. “Peer pressure. I was the only one here who hadn't smacked you yet, and I wanted to be like all the cool kids.”
  93. 93. “Can we all calm down here? Just for a second?” “Not if you're going to keep calling my boyfriend a meathead.” “And not if you're going to pretend like what you did was just a minor thing! Mal can be pissed at you for her reasons, but I have my own! Or did you forget how you used me? You made me think you weren't just some spoiled rich brat, you made me feel sorry for you, you made me think you loved me, and then you got what you wanted out of me and took off without even a word!” “What I did was wrong, but I did love you, and I still do.”
  94. 94. “Liar!”
  95. 95. “You didn't love me, Eddie. You can't love a thing, and that's all I was to you. I was just a means to an end. And once you got what you wanted, you had no use for me anymore. I doubt you even realized that my feelings for you were real. I gave myself to you, and you don't appreciate that for what it is. You want my forgiveness? You don't have it. Not now. Maybe not ever.”
  96. 96. “Whoa, hey, time out! Tempers flaring, need some chill-out time!” “Move it, Max.”
  97. 97. “Uh-uh. I ain't sayin' he's a saint, and I ain't sayin' he doesn't deserve a hearty smacking, but it's not gonna solve anything here. I get that everybody's pissed at him, but this is a living room, not the Thunderdome. Lemme just walk him out, and then we can all calm down.” “Fine.”
  98. 98. “Max, was it? Thanks for the rescue.” “Don't. I didn't do it for you. I gotta live with 'em. And if what Meadow said is true, you're damn lucky I don't take a real shot at you myself.” “Yeah. It's true.” “Then get gone and stay gone. Mal's brother or not, you're not welcome here.”
  99. 99. Meanwhile, at Havelock House, Carver is still a goofball, but at least he's a happy goofball. An early-morning session on the upstairs couch makes for a happy Pleasure Sim.
  100. 100. And I couldn't pry them away from this thing if I tried.
  101. 101. “Psssst. Faaaaiiiiiiiirrrrrr. Come over here and let me kick your aaaaasssssssss.” Bucky won't leave Fair alone now. If I don't keep him occupied, he'll stalk Fair with all sorts of “Fight” interactions in his queue.
  102. 102. “Paper beats rock!” “You win again!” “But you always throw rock, so I always throw paper.” “I just really suck at this game, I guess.”
  103. 103. “Hee! We both threw scissors again! This is almost like playing with Fair!” “Well, we're just no competition for you, Tess.”
  104. 104. “Oh, are you hungry? I didn't think you needed to eat.” “How can I resist a grilled cheese sandwich cooked by my very own sister?”
  105. 105. “Hi, I'm Randy Knight. Mind if I come in and sit naked in your hot tub?” “Not at all, my friend. Not at all.”
  106. 106. “Gosh, Tess! You're just too quick for me!” “Have you been talking to my brothers? It sort of seems like they always let me win.” “Talking to them? No! Hahaha, what a silly idea.”
  107. 107. Carver's Aspiration was low, so I sent him on a date with this pine tree Brooke. I mean, they are already in love, so it only seemed fair.
  108. 108. Plus, Brooke had a locked Demented Purple Heart Want too.
  109. 109. And really, who am I to deny large amounts of Aspiration Points to Sims who are so clearly deserving?
  110. 110. “Ahahaha! Fooled you!” “Why you little blonde...”
  111. 111. “Bucky! Get over here and kick its ass!”
  112. 112. “You know, I have a different plan in mind...”
  113. 113. Mostly, I remembered that the Uglacy kids didn't have their First Kisses, except for Marco, because he'd already been there, done that with everyone that would have been eligible for his siblings, so I thought the rest of them might like a little lovin'. Which is not to say that at some point, Beret 'n' Boots won't also be date fodder for Marco.
  114. 114. And whaddaya know, they throw me a Slow Dance twirl.
  115. 115. Bucky's not the type to commit, though. At least not to something that cannot be purchased for a large amount of money via the Buy catalog.
  116. 116. “Oh, I apologize! Where are my manners? Beret 'n' Boots, meet Naked Lady. Naked Lady, Beret 'n' Boots.”
  117. 117. Bucky never did get a Demented Purple Heart from this. I have no idea why not. He's got the memory for it. I guess it just wasn't important enough for a doodad. Something important WAS happening, though.
  118. 118. BELL'S 50TH DREAM DATE. Guess who is never, ever getting any more dates, ever. I will say that, at least on this last date, Bell rolled romantic Wants, and actually pulled some of the weight for getting it to Dream Date status. That made me sort of proud.
  119. 119. Bucky and Whitney don't really care about what Bell is up to, as long as they still have room to pillow fight.
  120. 120. This guy is Arthur Schuster. He will be marrying Whitney when she graduates. I thought it would be a good idea if, you know, they actually met first.
  121. 121. Does he look vaguely familiar? That's because he's the male version of Beth Legacy, so he bears a resemblance to Eddie Legacy (both from Dicreasy's Victorian Legacy). I played around in CAS, and these two make stunning girls (which is useless to me, since I can hope for one girl from them at most, if the past is any predictor of the future), but with the right combination of features, the guys come out looking pretty hot too.
  122. 122. Oh yes, and Whitney is the only unrelated girl of this generation who didn't get her First Kiss with Marco. Note Tess and Fair waving to each other in the background. This continues the long Vetinari tradition of waving hello to each other after returning from the exact same class.
  123. 123. It doesn't take long for Artie to fall in love with Whitney. She's somewhat more hesitant, though.
  124. 124. Bell decides to get to know his future brother-in-law. Perhaps a Ventrilo-Fart was not the best way to say “Welcome to the family.”
  125. 125. And perhaps a poking was not the best way to say, “I look forward to a long and amicable relationship.” They're Vetinaris. I don't even blink at this stuff anymore.
  126. 126. Same here. Fair and Bucky finally came to blows. Bucky was the instigator. Carver decided to cheer them on. Also note Tess through the lefthand window, calmly making lunch as her brothers duke it out a couple of feet away.
  127. 127. This outcome was perhaps inevitable, since Fair skilled up when he was feudin' with Carver. Bucky gave it the ol' college try, but ended up getting his ass kicked. So now he's even MORE pissed with Fair, even though he's the one who picked the fight in the first place
  128. 128. Look! Faraday in a flamey thought-balloon! Le gasp! Le shock! And the girls are just like, “Whatever. Get over it already.”
  129. 129. “Hate you.” “Rot in hell.” “Die in a fire.” “Choke on your sandwich. Just leave the last two bites for Tess.”
  130. 130. “Marco, Fair kicked my ass!” “Why'd you start the fight in the first place?” “I dunno, he told me a dirty joke or something, whatever.” “Next time, just go sulk by yourself.”
  131. 131. “Oooh, yummy half-eaten omelet!” Her name is Kana Knight. Presumably no relation to Randy.
  132. 132. For a change, no one is grumpy!
  133. 133. I wanted Fair to get the Big Sim On Campus memory. I don't know why. Everyone else has it, so I guess I just didn't want him to be left out. This was pretty much the only way that was going to happen.
  134. 134. The next day, I had him call up one of his new friends and go on a date. See Bell there, waving jauntily? That is more excitement than Fair showed on his entire date.
  135. 135. He rolled pretty much no romantic Wants at all, including First Kiss. Or WooHoo.
  136. 136. Still, into the car they went, and Demented Purple Hearts all around. Much as I hate to say it, sending Fair on this date was disturbingly like sending Cypress on a date. Fair's asexuality is almost Cecil-esque.
  137. 137. Ah well, proof he's not a total creep. He can play nicely with Bell.
  138. 138. And he often enjoys kitchen pillow-fights. Afterward, he gets to eat most of a grilled cheese sandwich.
  139. 139. “Fair, is that Naked Lady?” “Yup.” “Tell me when she's gone so I know when it's safe to turn around.”
  140. 140. Bucky graduated, and was not particularly inclined to have a party to celebrate. In order to make him happy for his return to Riverblossom Hills, I had him paint and sell a Masterpiece, which kicked him into platinum quite nicely.
  141. 141. His transition clothes were terribly un-Bucky. There is something about a puffy vest that does not scream “Shy, mean Fortune Sim.” Final tally: Bucky graduates with a 4.0, became Big Sim On Campus, got a date with a Downtownie, scored his First WooHoo, lost a fight to Fair, and painted enough Masterpieces to keep himself happy.
  142. 142. Whitney wanted a party, so I invited a newly-graduated Bucky. Marco was invited as well, and brought one of his former paramours as his plus-one.
  143. 143. It was a packed house, and made Roof Raiser in pretty short order.
  144. 144. Bell managed to have a whole conversation with Artie without there being slapping and flatulence.
  145. 145. Artie was not so lucky when it came to conversations with Connor, or even grabbing Carver's attention.
  146. 146. “There's a naked lady running up your stairs.” “Yeah, that's Naked Lady. She does that. It drives Bucky crazy.” “I bet. ...Is she single?”
  147. 147. Carver went with an Admire, always a solid choice when Vetinaris are involved. Meadow behaved herself, despite the presence of another Fortune Sim.
  148. 148. Who is this? This is Brad Cooper. Why does he look like a hippie? He will be Tess's husband. The proverbial goggles do nothing; the beard at least covers up the squiff. A while back, I let Samantha Ottomas have her twins. Brad is one of those twins, turned into an Adult Male. Let's just say, be thankful for the beard.
  149. 149. Anyway, you know I wouldn't let this happen if she didn't approve, but she likes him quite a lot and he does not appear to be lactose-intolerant.
  150. 150. See? Would I let Tess get her First Kiss with a guy she didn't like? Of course not. Her brothers would haunt my in my sleep if I did that.
  151. 151. And hey, unlike Whitney, she's actually in love with the guy! OK, I missed the heart doodad. But there was one.
  152. 152. The day after the party, I found this on the floor. It used to be the game system. Now it appears to be a pile of electronic rubble. I don't know what happened to it. Nobody even played it at the party. It just broke all on its own. How odd.
  153. 153. This was weird too. The Dance Sphere was sparking for no apparent reason. This happened once before at the Uglacy, and it's just as strange to see this time.
  154. 154. Carver was the next to graduate, and a party wasn't going to get him platinum for the move back to Riverblossom Hills, so I had him go on a date with Brooke instead.
  155. 155. I pretty much let him do whatever was in his Want Panel. If the car's a-rockin', don't come a- knockin'.
  156. 156. There was also karaoke, and come on, how adorable is Brooke?
  157. 157. I believe I have found a growing-up outfit worse than the omnipresent breeches! Final tally: Carver graduated with a 4.0, became Big Sim On Campus, won a fight with Fair, threw a couple of awesome parties, autonomously fell in love with Brooke, had some nice dates, and immediately went home to change.
  158. 158. Whitney hadn't Met Anyone New in awhile, but she did have a locked WooHoo Want, so she got to go on a date with Artie to get her Aspiration up.
  159. 159. The Flirt gets Whitney in love with her intended.
  160. 160. For his part, Artie's just interested in getting to the kissing. It's OK, though. He's a Fortune Sim, and will not be wanting to have any flings.
  161. 161. Whitney gets her Demented Purple Heart, and will be happily platinum for the next few days.
  162. 162. Bell occasionally spends too much time on the bubble blower. Sadly for him, Hunger is more important to me than Hygiene.
  163. 163. “So, you're the guy who's going to marry my sister, huh?” “Yeah, man. I'm Brad.” “I am Faraday. Most people call me 'Fair' although they'll admit I'm not. You may call me 'Oh Plumbbob, please make the hurting stop.'” “Harsh.”
  164. 164. “Harsh? You have no idea. And if you're looking for friendly faces among Tess's other brothers, don't spend too long at it. Tess got all the friendly. We got all the angry. And we're angriest when there's the potential for Tess getting hurt.” “Can't we all just get along?”
  165. 165. “That remains to be seen. Marco!”
  166. 166. “BLEH, hippie!”
  167. 167. “Get it? Tess may love you, but we're not so quick to make with the hugs.” “All you need is love, man.” “Actually, all I need is a chainsaw and some heavy-duty trash bags.”
  168. 168. “Here's the point, hippie...” “...If anything happens to Tess...” “...We will happen to you.”
  169. 169. “Oh, hi, guys! I thought I heard you out here!”
  170. 170. “Hiiiiiiii, Tess!”
  171. 171. “I hope they didn't threaten you too much.” “I think they thought it was just the right amount.”
  172. 172. “Have fun, you two!” “But not too much fun!” “If there are any purple hearts in sight, the cops will never find the body!”
  173. 173. Whitney's lack of sympathy is unsurprising.
  174. 174. I love how Bell just keeps right on dancing, and Fair doesn't bother to get off the phone.
  175. 175. This is just here to remind you how freaking gorgeous my Prettacy heir is. And ON PURPOSE, even.
  176. 176. She also manages to be fairly attractive when chasing a Cow Mascot from the premises.
  177. 177. I'm not sure I want to know about this. Let's just say that Fair has a deep-seated love of the supernatural.
  178. 178. And also a deep-seated love of making Bucky do household chores.
  179. 179. Meanwhile, Whitney caught some butterflies and I had Fair let them go. I think he would have been happier watching them die.
  180. 180. Then Tess graduates and gets her Cassandra Goth on. Final tally: Tess graduates with a 4.0, became Big Sim on Campus, tried to broker piece between her brothers, fell in love with Ugly Brad, and has so far eaten over 160 Grilled Cheese Sandwiches. Also, she is awesome.
  181. 181. Following a quick skill point gain, Fair's the next to go. Final tally: Fair graduates with a 4.0, became Big Sim on Campus thanks to the Wishing Well, went on one date he has shown no desire to repeat, lost a fight to Carver, won a fight with Bucky, and was generally disagreeable.
  182. 182. Still, the fun continues as Whitney and a walkby moth a flaming lightpost.
  183. 183. Bell gets his karaoke on.
  184. 184. He also plays in a puddle in the middle of the street in the rain, which is not an activity I would recommend.
  185. 185. “I love pizza, it's so cheesy, but very soon it will be greasy! Pizza! Pizza! Goooooo pizza!” “Just eat it, will you?”
  186. 186. Whitney was whining for a party, so I threw a Sports Party for the extra points. I'm not sure she can see the TV through Connor, but I'm guessing she's not complaining about the view.
  187. 187. Artie manages to piss someone else off. I'm not sure why they all hate him.
  188. 188. Whitney and Max weren't friends yet, so I rectified that, to the benefit of them both.
  189. 189. Carver did something to piss Mal off. I think he is displaying the appropriate reaction.
  190. 190. These two quietly raised the party score all by themselves.
  191. 191. Because, you know, it's just not a party without Naked Lady.
  192. 192. Despite the occasional double-negative, Naked Lady, and poking, a good time was had by all.
  193. 193. Right after graduating, Whitney proposed to Arthur to be platinum when she finally left.
  194. 194. Artie was smart enough to accept the proposal.
  195. 195. It's a good thing he did, because I don't take kindly to people who make my heirs sad. And Whitney looks decidedly happy here.
  196. 196. Whitney ends her college career with a smooch...
  197. 197. ...and poofs into a soccer mom cardigan. Final tally: Whitney graduates with a 4.0, got engaged to Arthur, threw a bunch of Roof Raiser parties, became Big Sim on Campus, and bonded with Tess.
  198. 198. After moving in Scotty and Niobe to placehold, Bell makes his own call for a taxi.
  199. 199. Bell continues to age up into things that are not painful on the eyes. Final tally: Bell graduates with a 4.0, became Big Sim on Campus, went on 40+ dates with PurpleBunny to become Permaplat, and then quietly behaved himself. The rest of the houses are graduating as well...
  200. 200. Dead Coach Stinkypants continues to be a pain.
  201. 201. Even poor visiting Bell was not immune.
  202. 202. Dead Coach Stinkypants got Connor again in the morning.
  203. 203. However, though Connor was not amused by the early-morning haunting, he didn't burn his breakfast.
  204. 204. Dead Coach Stinkypants was becoming a bother, so I built a moat. No idea if it works or not, since Dead Coach Stinkypants didn't haunt the next night.
  205. 205. After PB's final, I had Bell come over and made him selectable for a nice daylight proposal.
  206. 206. PB was more than happy to accept. Bell still isn't getting any more dates, though.
  207. 207. Possibly still thrilled about her upcoming nuptials, PB finds some nice clothes to grow up into as she leaves.
  208. 208. Connor had a similar task ahead, after the ceremonial groping.
  209. 209. Stacie feigned shock, as though she hadn't been expecting a hunk of Vetinari man-meat since finishing second in Simon's BC.
  210. 210. Connor is happy too. Stacie is friends with many SimSelves, few of whom he has actually met.
  211. 211. Then, more groping. Connor is a naked-hot-tubber and the son of a Streaker. There will always be groping.
  212. 212. He also manages to leave college in something that doesn't hurt my eyes. This pleases me greatly. Onward and upward!
  213. 213. Over at Brooke, River, Baz, and Kate's, we find that a coach has clearly not heard the news about Dead Coach Stinkypants. However, he did target Kate, so at least there are a couple of braincells in his tiny little head.
  214. 214. Three Fortune Sims, so no surprise that money is a common topic of conversation.
  215. 215. These two continue to be adorable.
  216. 216. Kate continues to bug. She refuses to stop rolling Wants for Scotty and Bell and to fall in love with Marco. I hate to say it, but at this point, my feelings for her are hovering around “Rhea” level. Rhea is currently sitting in a house with an evil cat and a locked Want to WooHoo that I will never fulfill.
  217. 217. Then there was a burglar. With THREE Vetinari Fortune Sims in the house.
  218. 218. And then Officer Failbag lost the fight, so no one even got the satisfaction of watching the burglar get his ass kicked.
  219. 219. Brooke got herself platinum off of a Sell a Masterpiece Want, and headed away from the burglars.
  220. 220. “Marry me! And there will be money and babies! Possibly with the Vetinari schnoz!” “Expensive shiny!”
  221. 221. Now there is a man who knows he will be made happy.
  222. 222. “Hey! That is my groin!” “Sorry, you suddenly turned into a pimp, and it was disconcerting.”
  223. 223. River was the next to leave, quite happy to be engaged to Pimpmasta Baz.
  224. 224. Then Kate graduated. Yay Kate. I might be persuaded to change your clothes. MIGHT.
  225. 225. At the last house of college students, Naked Victor stops by to steal the paper. This was followed by everyone yelling at Naked Victor.
  226. 226. Max finally got around to popping the question to Mal.
  227. 227. Mal was thrilled. They were both platinum, so it was time for them to bid farewell to college.
  228. 228. Max gets some problematic pants.
  229. 229. Mal gets some more “Oh honey, NO.”
  230. 230. Meadow also headed out, with Eddie nowhere in sight.
  231. 231. That's all for this trip to college! I'm sort of glad to not be using the Exchange any longer, since I got to include a bunch more of the fun! Thanks to PurpleBunny and Stacielee for the use of their SimSelves, and to Penguingirl0384, Dicreasy, and Orikes360 for the use of their Sim kiddies and grandkiddies! It's about time for another recap, so keep an eye out for that soon—it'll cover everything from the rebuild after Raven and Cory's college years up to now. After the recap, Tess and Whitney get married and start Gen 8. Oh, and also Epic Plot Volcano gets closer to eruption!