Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! This is Chapter 26.5: Schools Out!Last time, the Gen 9 kids started college.And did, you know, college stuff. Pizza, pineapple keg, poker, and other things that start with p.Pdating. PWooHoo.No?
“Yaaaay! I got a decent re-roll! Now I must throw a party to celebrate!”Indeed.Jack hit Popularity at the re-roll at the end of his sophomore year, and now wants to be The Law, which is good, because if hewanted 5 Top Level Businesses like his dad, I would have Cheesed him.
For some reason, George likes to take out the trash. Its about the only cleaning anyone does autonomously.I love them, but they are not a tidy bunch.
George decided to put the moves on our favorite cheerleader, Kana Knight, who was unimpressed.I just like her. I dont even know why.
And as for George, how can you not love the giant-sized Creepy Smile?
Okay, so what if Georges lip glitches through his face when he does that? Its kind of charming, right? In a quirky way?Oh, and Paulie, PUT YOUR GLASSES BACK ON!
She wasnt even all that hungry.Id say something about not wanting to wash the glass, but its not like I wasnt going to have her Influence one of the randomDormies hanging around to clean anyway, so it wouldnt be her having to wash it!
“Man, Jojo, you are cleaning up!”“Me? Oh, I dont clean.”“No, I mean youre beating us.”“Violence is never the answer.”“Jojo. You are winning.”“Arent we all winners?”“Sure, why not.”“I like the green ones best. I bet they taste like apples.”
There do tend to be a lot of parties, although I try to monitor the guest lists so that there is a low chance of someone doingsomething that will make me headdesk.Generally, this involves inviting Kinsey or Gretzky, but not both.They know why.
I pretty much always forget to use the cheat to be able to invite more than 2 people to a party, so my toga parties tend to belargely free of togas.In Lawrins and Katis case, theyd be free of togas anyway.And then everyone else is shocked that theyre sitting naked in the hot tub.
Yup, I gender-swapped ol Nervous.I know what youre thinking.But I played around in CAS before I did this, and the potential for ugly is GLORIOUS TO BEHOLD.GLORIOUS.
I mean, really, is this going to end well, facially speaking?I can tell you that it is not.
Karaoke is one of the best ways to get Paulies Aspiration up when Im too lazy for dates.
Plus, have I mentioned how hilarious I find the karaoke faces?Trust me, this would be funnier if Paulie werent wearing his glasses. But he does. Even at night, because he looks reasonablynormal with them on.Oh! And hes the first Uglacy kid in a while that can wear glasses in the first place, because they generally clip throughcheekbones and brows.
Note that the two people in the hot tub who are wearing clothes are very carefully looking at the eyes of the person who isnt.
I like them together. Unlike some other Sims this generation I could name, they dont roll Wants for Sims theyre not allowed tohave.
“OH EM GEE! I love your hair! Its almost like dreadlocks!”“Yours are very... pink.”“I love pink! Its the best! Its so happy! I bet if the Slytherin colors were pink and silver, they wouldnt all be meanie-pantses!”
“I dont think weve met. Ophelia Nigmos.”“Im Jojo! Thats my nickname!”“I thought it might be.”“Your shirt has butterflies on it! Butterflies are cool. When I was little I thought they were called flutterbys. Wouldnt that make abetter name, because they flutter by and theyre not made of butter? I also called caterpillars pattykillers but I dont thinktheyre really all that lethal. Except sometimes if you eat them, but you can tell which ones because they taste bad.”“You ate caterpillars?”“No. They were furry, and it was gross.”
I didnt intend a Strangetown theme for the final spouses. Oberon Summerdream was in the running here too, but the nose hada tendency to go odd when mixed with other features. But Jojo and Ophelias kids almost always turn out really pretty.
“I like your haaaiiiirIt looks like snaaakesssSnakes are coooolThey have one luuuungThey dont have leeegsA person who studies snakesIs a herrrrrrrpetoooooooooloooogiiiiiiist!”“Aww, thats so sweet! I think!”
They have two bolts, which is as good as youre likely to get from a Pleasure/Family couple, and they fell in love, like,ridiculously quickly.
Anyway, they headed out to the car and did what college students roll Wants to do in cars.At some point, Car WooHoo glitched. Or possibly the Sims involved glitched.Have I mentioned that my neighborhood is corrupted? So yeah. Now Im into the “scribbly thought bubble” and “empty thoughtbubble” phase of the meltdown. Its good times.
“So I know we were strangers until only recently, and this might be considered insane, but heres this great big ring...”
She agreed, because getting engaged on your first date is a perfectly reasonable thing to do.KIDS: THIS IS NOT A REASONABLE THING TO DO. DO NOT DO THIS.
Anyway, thats one of my heirs down, and ol Nancy works some weird hours and shes never home when Jack is, so its a bitlike pulling teeth to get them to go out again.
Which isnt to say that dates with Jack and Nancy never happen, but they dont always happen at convenient times.I was just glad the coach wasnt coming to yell at Jack, because once the dates wander away and get sucked into the vortexthat is the poker table, its a pain to get them back into the date.
Jack and Nancy finally fall in love.Thanks for crashing the date, Paulie.
“Man, wow, I just felt the estrogen level rocket up, like, a zillion percent. I feel like I should be doing girl things now.”“Girl things? What sort of girl things do you mean?”“Like... uh... Ovulating. And, um, bearing live young? And, uh... Going back into the house...”
For some reason, Kana decides to fall for George.Im not sure this is the wisest course, since hes Romance.But she is good for Influence To Clean, so I dont mind her sticking around.
In other news, Nancy drops AWESOME date gifts!OK, they dont need the TV or the money, but still.
...Im not sure the most ripped guy in the house needs to be yelled at to exercise, but okay lady.DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS TO COACHES WHO ARE BAD?
Maui and Paulie are each others date of choice. Theyre usually pretty good about rolling date-related Wants on dates, and itspretty easy to predict what theyre going to roll Wants for.Unlike, say, Kinsey, who tends to go, “Date? Whats that? BUY ME EXPENSIVE CRAP!”
Speaking of the Landgraabs,Mitch Indie was a frequent enough walk-by that I thought Id see if anyone took a shine to him ineven a remotely romantic way, and, nope.If I disliked the guy, Id have hooked him up with Kinsey or Tyler, but he seems innocuous enough that I dont want to break hislittle heart with either one of them.So, Mitch Indie, you are safe.
I eventually used the Crystal Ball and landed this lady for Tyler. Shes a gender-swapped or aged-down or -up version of...someone. I forget.I put her in the Townie Pool for the Uglacy, and now I cant remember who shes supposed to be based on.Her name is Alexandra. So, Xander Roth, maybe? The giraffe-necked kid from Riverblossom Hills?Tyler found her less interesting than gaining skill points and Influencing Someone To Clean.
Kinsey, on the other hand, was frustrating from the angle of only Wanting to fall in love with Sims she couldnt have, when shewas bothered to roll those Wants at all, which was exceedingly rare, even on dates.The only Sim she was remotely interested in who wasnt Great-Uncle Eddie or Off-Limits Gretzky was the Evil Llama Mascot,Gordon Barrett.Remember him? Probably not, right? Hes the one who picked a fight with Billy for no reason, and who Archie used to beat upon a semi-regular basis.
At least Duncan and Lawrin dont make my head hurt.
...That looks like it hurts.Notice that while Evil Llama Mascot is showing his softer side, Kinsey is very much NOT throwing any big red hearts.It took another date before that happened, during which she refused to stop rolling Fall In Love with Gretzky.I SAID NO, KINSEY.
Kinsey and Tyler both made good use of the family automobile.And then never rolled any Wants for the people they were in love with again, ever.Well okay then.
At the other house, the issue is too much Romance rather than not enough! Tahitis just about halfway through her 20WooHoos LTW.It turns out there are like three guys named Phoenix at Academie Le Tour, and she is dating them all.
Not the guy in the hot tub. He is Jake Something.Snakeskin Jacket Guy is Glenn Cox, because OF COURSE HE IS. He may also be a werewolf.
He certainly smells bad enough to be a werewolf.The hippie guy is one of the Phoenixes.Like, that is not a sentence I thought Id ever find myself needing to write, you know?
Survey says YES on the werewolf!He ran afoul of Marco once, but I couldnt remember whether that was before or after the mini-rebuild.Before, apparently.
At least I dont have to worry about Jack and Kati, since theyre cousins.
Whos Gretzky rolling Wants for here?Hint: Its not De.De writes the Morgan Legacy, and may possibly deserve better than Gretzky.
Tahiti begins Operation Public WooHoo, and who should be there but Naked Victor?A momentous thing occurred.After going back to Finns Fins a few times to make use of the photobooth, STEVIE RAN OUT OF FISH.THERE ARE NO MORE PANTS-FISH TO BE HAD.It is a dark day in Riverblossom Hills when there are no more pants-fish, folks.
I kinda felt bad about this. Ive gotten used to setting Tahiti up with Romance and Pleasure Sims, who wont care what she doesor with whom, and I just invited George on a date without going anywhere else, and poor Edwin Sharpe got his heart broken.Sorry, dude. My total bad.
Paulie and the professor, on the other hand, didnt seem to care much.Tahiti gets her A the FUN way.Paulie gets his A the EASY way. I cheat it, because he is glitched and the grade bar doesnt recognize his skill points, so hegets to skip class every day and never do homework.Not that I ever did that when I was in college. Nosirree bob.
In the dead of night, I sent Tahiti to Attractive Stuff until she was able to go on dates again, and a bunch of the neighborhoodladies showed up!Clearly there must be a veritable bevy of hunky men hanging around!
Or its just Howie. Who is married, and gay. So, uh, NO on both counts, ladies.
“OH WRIGHT, TAHITI IS DOING TERRIBLE THINGS IN MY PHOTO BOOTH.”
“Geez, why do you even care?”“HIS NAME IS CHAZ WHIPPLER. FIND ME A WORLD IN WHICH THAT IS NOT THE NAME OF A PREPPY DOUCHEBAG.”Invasion of the red-headed SimSelves! Ang writes the Devereaux Legacy, and Prof wrote the Squeaky Clean Legacy.
“Wooo! All right! Go get nekkid with someone whose name isnt freaking CHAZ! Woooooo!”I think my SimSelf has some issues.
In other news, I seem to really, really like that skirt.In my defense, it is pretty cute.
And then Faraday showed up, and Tahiti left before he could pick a fight with someone he should really not be picking a fightwith.Like Prof, who has made enemies of several Townies all on her own, and does not tolerate shenanigans.
Mauis not much of a slouch when it comes to romance either. She called Paulie up for an actual date. George was just sort ofhanging around when she needed some Aspiration.
I cant remember whether Ive seen the penguin at college before, or whether this is yet another sign of impending doom.
Guess whos STILL rolling Wants for Sim He Cannot Have?
The blonde guy is one of the Phoenixes.The redhead is Bill Tan. I feel like theres an extra space in the middle of his name. Like, Bill Space Space Tan, instead of BillSpace Tan. I dont know. Maybe Im imagining it. In my head, hes Bill Space Space Tan.
For some reason, Bell wanders by.Like, Hi Bell? These are your grandchildren. You do not go to college anymore. This is sort of creepy.
OK, amend that to DEFINITELY creepy.That is your granddaughter getting busy in that hot tub, man.What are you even doing here? GO HOME, BELL.
This guy, Jonah Powers, is the resident paper thief. Seriously, almost every day, on every lot.I like to think he does a lot of papier mache.
Also, I guess I never realized that the tats are different for the different outfits.I would have remembered Archie having Lime Helmet Kitty on his shoulder. And also some sort of, like, Pokemon-thing on hisother arm?I think Jonah “Paper Thief” Powers deserves Lime Helmet Kitty and Cute Pokemon Thing. Its like hes trying to be badass, andfailing miserably.
BELL. IT IS NOW MORNING. WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?
With her grandfather gone, Tahiti got the last few WooHoos she needed for her LTW.Snakeskin Jacket Werewolf GleNn Cox, and possibly Phineaus Furley, or one of the Phoenixes.
De leaves pretty good date gifts too!Dont do it, De. He is having Lusty Thoughts about Someone Else.
Maui was bored, and there was still some charge left in the Love Tub.What can I say? The pickins were easy.Feel free to interpret that any way you like.
Randy Knight wandered by, and I sent Kati out, because why not see if one naked hot-tubbing Pop Sim is interested in anothernaked hot-tubbing Pop Sim?
There was some vague interest, which is about as good as Im getting this generation.And then the car glitched, or Kati glitched, or Randy Knight glitched, and they had to use the bed like normal people instead.
I kept Gretzky up past his bedtime, and he passed out in front of the toilet.Tahiti found it hilarious.Kati at least had the decency to worry about it, even if she then proceeded to take a shower in that bathroom, so that when Iwoke Gretzky up, he couldnt pee, because there was someone else in the bathroom, which Kati of course didnt care about,but Gretzky had a Potty Incident before he could make it to the other bathroom upstairs.
It occurred to me that I hadnt seen Dead Coach Stinkypants, so I checked, and of course his grave is missing. And since noone knows him, they cant resurrect him, so I guess the anti-ghost moat is just for fishing now.
See? The karaoke faces are so much funnier on the Uglacy kids!
NO, JACK!You know what, everyone is graduated, time to leave!For my sanity, if nothing else.
Lawrin actually Wanted a party, so I threw her one. There was much Hula-ing and making merry.
Oh, and Jack was hanging around outside and got struck by lightning and almost died.So that was fun.
Lawrin gets a decent outfit!And you know, graduates with a 4.0, Big Sim on campus, all that. In fact, everyone did, so were just going to pretend like Ityped that out a bunch of times.
Jojos party was next.Feel free to come up with your own tasteless “girls pillow fighting at college parties” joke here.
Ophelia came over to make it a Roof Raiser.After she got stuck at one of the chairs in the dining room, thanks ever so much Duncan and Nikolai.
Jojo grows up in his undies, and they have little hearts on them, because of course they do.
“Listen, I dont want to give you the wrong idea here. Marrying me could literally be the last thing you do. As in, some crazyperson could kill you, and you will die. So, consider this a fine time to walk away.”
“I dont want to walk away, Jack. Im pretty sure that its not instant death the minute the ring goes on my finger.”“It could be. Fair warning.”“Consider me warned, then.”
“Well then, marry me, for what is sure to be the most terrifying week of your life.”“You have a knack for saying what every girl wants to hear.”