Welcome back to the Vetinari Dualegacy! Where the kitties are ninjas! PH3/R NINJA KITTEH.
This is Chapter 12.25, where we grow up little Indy, get Gen 5 kicked off at the Uglacy, and check
up on some of our spares!
May as well get to the important issue right off the bat. Stabby Death Nose--yes or no?
Rhea? What are you doing?
"Getting some slides! You didn't even put me in a group shot at Raven's wedding!"
Wah. Why are you feeding Indy?
OK, yeah, but he needs his diaper changed.
"I don't actually do that."
PUT THE BABY DOWN NOW. Raven, take the baby and change him already!
I grew Indy up as soon as I could, because babies are sort of useless and I wanted to know about
Indy's a Vetinari (Aries 9/10/9/4/2) but SQUEEEEEEE!
"You looooooove me."
I love you.
"I got rid of the nose."
You got rid of the nose.
I don't know whether it's an artifact of the rebuild or just the wonderfulness of Tom, and I DON'T CARE! For the first time in
three generations, I have a Prettacy kid without Stabby Death Nose!
And it occurred to me that I haven't formally introduced Tom like I did with the other spouses. Call it an accident of the rebuild.
This is Thomas Kearney Vetinari, Leo 4/10/4/4/3 Popularity Sim. His LTW is to be a Hall of Famer (and that's what it was in
Alpha Riverblossom as well; I checked before I nuked it). For a Popularity Sim, he rolls an insane amount of Raven-related
Wants. And, HE GOT RID OF STABBY DEATH NOSE!
Ethan is obviously the Ethan-kitty on the right (aka Kaze-no-Kami, as he is in my custom 'hood).
The fluffy whitish kitty on the left is Glory, Ethan's special friend.
I didn't mean to name them after Buffy villains, but it just sort of happened that way. They get on
well, and I expect interesting-looking kittens soon!
"What in the hell do you think you're doing? You need to stop letting yourself into my house! And
you especially need to stop threatening my grandson!"
"I heard the 'Mehehehehe', you headcase."
"Note to self: Next time, internal monologue."
"I don't know what your current problem is, Cypress, and I don't care! But you're dragging my
family into your insane vendetta, and if you think we're going to let you have free run of the
Prettacy, you are very much mistaken. I've fought like hell to keep my family together, and I won't
let you destroy it. And if you think Raven will, you've underestimated her--badly."
"The only one who's guilty of underestimation around here is you and yours, Jonquil. I have a
Reaper Child and all the time in the world. You think you're safe here; you think you know me and
what I'm capable of, and you haven't a clue."
"Get out of my house. And stay gone."
"Oh, I'll go. But I'll be back when you least expect it."
"That's what you think. I'd guess you'll be expected for the next generation or so."
"You're losing your mind, old man. No one can anticipate the lengths to which I'll go to get what I
"I wouldn't bet on it."
Poor Indy has got to be the first kid I've had in the Legacy who had no parents or grandparents
roll the Wants to teach him his toddler skills. Raven still Wants to see the ghosts of her
grandparents and great-grandparents (and so does Jonny, for that matter), Jeannie Wants pets,
an anniversary party, and Relative Gets Engaged (don't hold your breath, hon), and Tom Wants to
Whatever. Raven gets to teach Indy to talk!
And also to walk. Mostly because she was the one awake when he was. Tom finished potty-
training him, though.
Tom does roll the occasional Want to Play With or Snuggle Indy, I'll give him that. It's more than
anyone else in the house does!
"Time for more baby?"
You speak the truth, small child!
Kittens! One is Colin, the other is Amy. They are currently completely
I sold Glory to Banyan and kept Ethan.
"Meet Someone New +1000?"
"Meet Someone New +1000."
"You're going to spend the rest of the afternoon falling off the Dance Sphere, aren't you?"
De/Fireflower314 writes the Morgan Legacy.
I've thrown some other SimSelves in the neighborhood too. And given them all jobs, so that I can have people
other than random Townies following my Sims home from work.
"Yoohoo? I'm having a baby here! And not in the half-bath, either! In the kitchen, where it's easy to
get good pictures!"
It's another boy. He's got Tom's skin and Raven's hair and eyes. Thanks, Tom and Raven. I sort of
want some girls in the main households in this freaking Legacy. ENOUGH BOYS ALREADY.
Looks like Raven gets to be pregnant again!
Ah well. In keeping with my country theme, meet Chad!
Jeannie: "Another grandson I can fail to roll Wants for, in complete contradiction to my Family
Little Nemo: "When I followed Tom home from work, I didn't expect there to be a baby involved."
Little Nemo writes the Far Away From Eden Apocalypse. He likes the Eeevil. And his LTW is to be
a Hall of Famer, which explains the "following Tom home from work" thing.
"I'm tired. Can I go to bed now?"
Aaawww, Indy's so cute!
You know, I don't even care that he's another naked hot-tubber in the making. He's a cutie!
And, much like his grandfather before him, Indy has gained several skill points from autonomously
But it's time to catch up with a more distant pseudo-Prettacy brat...
"So this is my house, Nolan! Isn't it great? Big enough for a family and parties with all our friends!"
"It's certainly... pink..."
"Pink and great!"
"Didi, listen: you don't have to pretend to be cute and perky and happy and sweet. I'm not an idiot;
I know you've got a bit of a cranky streak, and I don't care! You're beautiful enough without trying,
and if you really were as relentlessly cheerful as you want me to believe you are, I'd have been
driven completely nuts by it ages ago. All the pink is just camouflage, and it's not fooling me."
"But I don't want to be nasty to people. My parents were nice, and they really wanted me to be
"If you don't want to be mean, then don't be mean! You don't have to try and force it."
"I get your point. If you want to redecorate, we can."
"Great! Because, quite frankly, all the pink clashes with my hair."
"Oh, now who's being superficial?"
"Aawww, you know I love you."
"Wanna throw a wedding party soon?"
"Anything you want."
"I have the perfect idea for a wedding cake."
"Aren't those horribly expensive?"
"Not when it's free."
"Free is good."
"I can keep the dress, right? I mean, it's pink, but it's cute."
"It is a cute dress. I'd look equally cute on the bedroom floor."
"The bedroom's pink too."
Off to the Uglacy!
Like I didn't get enough of this in college, right? Well, I wanted to set Cory's gender preference in a slap-free
environment, and I figured maybe Gypsy Matchmaker would drop one of the pseudocustom Townies I made.
I should probably explain that. Well, I was looking at Chester Gieke's ugly mug and thinking, "I could breed
him into the Uglacy" but then he fell in love with Crazy Gay Huggy Servo, which pretty much put the kibosh on
that. So then I thought about extracting him, and making him an Adult Female. And then I thought about who
else I could do that with. Technically, they're custom Townies, but it's not like I made them look like the unholy
union of a hammerhead shark and a ferret or anything, I just clicked the "female" button and threw in some
custom eyes. Sims involved? Chester, Loki Beaker, Nervous Subject, Dora Ottomas, Xander Roth, and a Sim
from my custom 'hood who inherited the worst of his parents' genetics.
Who gets the drop?
"Oh, hell no! I am not going from Spider Jerusalem to Cory! I almost won that Completely Hypothetical
What can I say? Pleasure Sims have two bolts!
"If I see any flying hearts, I know a certain snarky blonde SimSelf who's going to regret being on the
Kendra/riot.fighter writes the Punk Legacy.
And I randomized the Aspirations and personalities of my new Townies like you'd do for an Asylum, except for
the one who rolled a serious Zodiac and Pleasure. I'd have made her Cheese if I could have like I'll do for my
next serious Sim who rolls Pleasure, but since that's not an option in CAS, I re-rolled her Aspiration so I didn't
have to Cheese her if I ever had to marry her in.
No worries, Kendra. This is in fact the end-of-date kiss. No hearts of any color were thrown, and I
barely got the date back above flaming-poo-bag territory before it ended. Business was not a
topic of conversation Cory should have mentioned. Three times.
But Cory still needs a wife.
Loki Beaker as a woman? STILL LOOKS LIKE A DUDE.
I can only imagine the squiff.
Anyway, her name is Helen. It seemed suitably Teutonic.
"You gonna scare me?"
"When you least expect it!"
Finn and Rosemarie still do the bolty-stalking thing. And they get enough WooHoo to keep them
Speaking of happy, this is what Cory and Helen look like when they're feeling that particular
I think we can all agree that the addition of Helen to the gene pool will be a good thing.
For whatever reason, the end-of-date smooch with Kendra didn't count as his First Kiss, so he
gets to have it with Helen.
I could have gotten a better shot of it, but I'll spare you the facial tragedy up close. For now.
After three whole days of knowing each other, Cory and Helen fall in love.
Cory is pretty much the only person who doesn't spend the day in his jammies. This is because
Cory does not sleep. He just goes from doing whatever to the Energizer to the telescope. I am still
holding out hope for an abduction!
"Would you like to marry me and have facially-questionable children?"
"So that's a yes, then?"
"When do we throw the wedding party?"
I heard a lullabye, so how 'bout now?
"I hear those go straight to your hips."
"I made you, and I can unmake you."
Jonny: I have to pee.
Finn: I wonder if anyone will notice if I sneak off for some WooHoo.
Rosemarie: I wonder if Finn wants to go WooHoo.
Cam/Jordan hiding behind Finn: Daddy's a Popularity Sim!
Gerry: Did no one bring Delirium?
Styx: Kestrel's a Popularity Sim!
SimNerd: I will not heart-fart Delphinium. I will not heart-fart Delphinium. I will not heart-fart Delphinium.
Gardener: I'm totally getting paid for this!
Kestrel: I don't have to marry the ugly lady!
Wren is just out of shot. Both of his kids were floating around somewhere. Zinnia was up on the bass because I keep
forgetting to lock the door to that room. Raven was foot-stomping because she couldn't get to the bass. And I may
have Influenced Rhea to Garden, seeing as how the freaking gardener decided to attend the ceremony.
Oh, and you need to stop looking so proud of yourself. Alpha Darla was housebroken.
As of right now, Darla and Billy are up on my SimPage--don't know how much longer they'll be up,
so grab 'em before they're culled! And if you want anyone else who's not already there, just let me
"So I know I've only known you for a few days and we really don't have any bolts yet because our
turnons haven't been changed or anything, but I very much look forward to lots of Dream Dates
with you. I'm told I will need the Aspiration Points to burn on Energizers."
"Well, I can think of worse things than to be yanked out of Townie Limbo to have a bunch of sweet
sweet babies in a big house with lots of money, and I'm sure we can squeak out some bolts.
Either way, babies and Dream Dates are definite pluses."
"Can I buy a bubble blower?"
"Can I get a puppy?"
The wedding party was a Roof Raiser, and they came back from the honeymoon in just enough
time for Cory to hit the telescope for the night.
Helen Vetinari, Aquarius 4/4/5/6/6 Family Sim. She's currently in the Slacker career path, but her
LTW is to raise 20 puppies or kittens. EheheheheNO. I am not turning Darla into Aspiration fodder.
"But you need puppies anyway!"
Puppy. I need puppy singular. I am running a Legacy here, not a puppy mill! Congratulations, you
get to join Isaac in the "died platinum but not Permaplat" club! And be glad I will give you that, you
and your annoying LTW.
"I don't suppose this is a puppy?"
It's not a puppy. It's a baby.
Which reminds me...
Finn! Go make some cheesecake.
"I thought you didn't want twins."
You don't have time for Helen to go through two pregnancies. So get in that kitchen and bake like
you have never baked before.
"Yes, because mentioning my impending mortality will make me apt to do what you want."
I don't have ACR, so that WooHoo Want isn't getting fulfilled without me.
"...You win again."
Ah, Family Sims and their cheesecake-snarfing...
Hey, I managed to catch the little glowy rings this time! I think that's a first for me.
Seriously, EAxis? Pregnant ladies can't pillow fight, soak in a hot tub, or clean the cat box, but
they can go on the Dance Sphere and be flung off, "blow bubbles," and hit up the "juice?" Those
are some great priorities you've got there.
"I'm going to have a baby now!"
"I'm going to work now. Let me know how that baby thing turns out."
Cory appears to be taking after his father in the realm of child-rearing.
"But I was on my way to pee when that got queuestomped for this!"
"Just shut up and look useless like you're supposed to!"
"Ohmygaw! I'm getting paid for this, too!"
I so should have let Cypress kill her.
This is Morocco. I'm pretty sure whatever recessives I might have had got stomped by the rebuild,
so I'm guessing both kids are going to have Cory's brown hair. Rocky's got his mama's skin tone,
And now for the ceremonial "tromp to the other side of the house to hand the baby to someone,
when there's a perfectly good person standing three feet away."
And the second twin is Monaco, a girl with a darker skin tone and Cory's brown hair.
Time to check back in with Didi!
"Didi, what are we doing here? This guy's a total Romance Sim!"
"Oh, Gil's a sweetheart, really. And besides, he owes me a wedding cake."
"What are you talking about?"
"Anyone who works at J'Adore for longer than a week and a half gets a free wedding cake
courtesy of Gilbert. I worked here when I was a teenager. Stayed until I went to college, too."
"That guy's gotta bribe people to stay working here? What kind of creepy freak is he?"
"You're totally overreacting! Gil would never harass his employees. In fact, I remember him kicking
people out of the store for being pushy and bothering us. He's a big teddy bear. And he's the best
baker in several neighborhoods. People come from miles away to buy cakes from him."
"Wait, wait, if it's not putting up with the skeezy Romance Sim that chases away the employees,
then why's he gotta make a deal for a free cake to keep people working here?"
"Delight. Finally found someone to marry you, I see, unlike that son of mine. Does your young
man know you're a bit of a grouch?"
"See? Nothing to do with Gilbert. Mrs. J's just a real pain to work for. Nothing's ever good enough,
no one is ever good enough. She's impossible to please, and most people quit rather than deal
"So, nothing to do with the shameless Romancer?"
"He's hardly shameless. And he owes us a cake."
"Well, well, if it isn't little Didi Vetinari! I thought those were your dulcet tones I heard. I'd say I'm
simply delighted to see you, but I know how fond you are of easy puns about your name."
"Hi, Gil! I see your mother hasn't changed a bit. Still cranky. And also, above ground."
"I think she's hanging on until she has grandchildren. If that's really the case, she may outlive us
all. So who's the redhead standing over there glaring daggers at me?"
"That's my fiance, Nolan. I'm here to collect on that bargain!"
"I knew it had to be one of you coming by for a free cake. I got the sudden urge to start baking a
massively fabulous wedding cake, and that only happens when one of my old employees gets
"What, you have some sort of diamond ring radar?"
"I didn't get to be the most highly-regarded pastry chef in the area for no reason. Call it what you
want, but don't doubt the effectiveness of my Baker's Intuition."
"You are such a kidder!"
"Oh, really? Don't think I have a radar for brides-to-be?"
"Then care to explain why I've been working on that since yesterday?"
"Is that... buttercream?"
"Acres of it."
"Little marzipan roses?"
"Finished 'em up an hour ago."
"It's perfect, Gil! You're the best!"
"That's what they tell me. And it's all yours."
"You have to come to the wedding."
"I wouldn't miss it."
"I'm gonna go put that cake in the car before you change your mind."
"Don't get any funny ideas, cakeman. She's getting married to me."
"Give me a little credit. Didi's a sweet kid, but I'm not a homewrecker and I never have been. It's
far better for me to sell expensive cakes to brides-to-be than to try and get them in the sack.
WooHoo doesn't put flour in my pantry and butter in my fridges."
"Besides... Nolan, was it?"
"Well, Nolan, I know exactly two things: pastries and women. And when a woman gets that excited
over a pastry, the guy she's going home with will have a very nice night. You can thank me later."
Checking in on Didi's adopted cousin now!
"Hmmm... Yes, babies, I remember these..."
FINALLY someone at the Prettacy decides to pay attention to Chad.
'Cept for Tom, of course, who's usually pretty good about giving the little guy some love.
Raven hits the top of Adventurer, reaching her second LTW.
"Hey, what happened to timing pregnancies so you wouldn't have a toddler and a baby in the
WANT A GIRL. Am willing to deal with two diaper-fillers at the same time. Also want youngest Gen
5 to know Jonny and Jeannie well enough to mourn them, which won't happen if I wait.
"You're not so good at this."
"This game is so much easier when I can cheat! I can't remember how to play for real!"
"You'll see when your brother grows up."
Birthday for Chad! Jonny, Indy, and whoever followed Tom home from work showed up.
I still love Tom! Chad is Stabby Death Nose free! Go Tom!
Chad's got six neat points, ten active, three serious, eight outgoing, and one nice.
...Wait, wait, I'm being told I've got those last two backwards.
ONE outgoing and EIGHT nice.
Chad? Bubbie? You are aware your last name is 'Vetinari,' right?
THIS is what I get for not naming you 'Tanzania.' Tanzania Vetinari would be a nasty finger-gunner.
He's my most shy Sim since Didi and my nicest Sim since Billy. Well, Cam, I guess, but he was born in Pleasantview. I'm sort of torn over whether
I want everyone to Encourage him to be a little less shy or whether to just let him be his shy self. I mean, I don't need another finger-gunning
naked hot-tubber floating around, but I also don't want to deal with the "Who, me?" bit every time I ask him to OMG INTERACT WITH SOMEONE.
Raven actually rolled some Wants to teach Chad his toddler skills. So I let her, in between peeing
Aaawwww, Chad can say "Mommy!" He's not too shy for that!
Colin grows up into a fierce little yellow-eyed kitty with a white sock.
And Amy grows up into a kitty also with a white sock.
Ethan still had a pretty full lifebar, so I had Jonny sell him to Didi.
"Look, I know you wanted to pick up a bunch of cell phones for everybody, but you could have
maybe bothered to put on some clothes."
"My nine outgoing points say otherwise."
"...I'm the only one who walks around here barefoot, capisce?"
"...and then Raven lit the kitchen on fire again! I swear, we should just install a sprinkler and get it
"I'd be so much more into this conversation if you were wearing pants."
Marina/Smoothiequeen is currently writing A Villainous Apocalypse, begun by her own Rhys
Time to check in with another Prettacy spare!
"Can we throw a birthday party for the boys?"
"You've rolled the Throw a Birthday Party and Throw a Party Wants, haven't you?"
"You're going to be miserable if you don't get to throw the party, aren't you?"
"Go make your phone calls."
StyxLady writes Just Another Legacy. She got hitched to Wren in the Completely Hypothetical Spider
Jerusalem Bachelor Challenge. They had a pair of kids who were re-toddlerfied in the rebuild.
This is Jordan. He looks a bit more like Wren, but has Styx's custom skin and eyes. He's got
Wren's nose, too.
This is Cam. He looks a lot like Styx, except for Stabby Death Nose.
And it's birthday time!
Wren invited Kest, Rhea, Raven, and his parents. Cory and SimNerd were hanging around the lot.
Raven was at work, but everyone else made it.
Jordan goes first with his spin into childhood.
"I rule! Stabby Death Nose for the win!"
Wren grabs Cam and takes him to the cake.
Rhea, SimNerd, and Jordan: "Whooo! Cam's growing up!"
Jonny: "I have to pee."
Styx: "Is it hot tub time yet?"
Jeannie: "There are a lot of people here in their swimsuits."
Cory: "Grrrrrr! Wren's a Popularity Sim!"
"Not so pretty, Cam. No touchy."
Thanks for growing up in clothes that burn my retinas, Cam.
"It's so good to finally meet my daughter-in-law!"
Especially considering you'll probably never have another one, Jon. Because your other son bugs
"I think you're awfully pretty, Grandma."
"Well, aren't you just the sweetest thing ever."
"Uncle Rhea? Is it true you're a glitch magnet?"
"Lies! Filthy, vicious lies!"
Not just glitchy, but Banned4Lyfe!
Filthy, vicious lies indeed, Glitchboy.
Roof Raiser! Everybody out of the pool! Kestrel, in your case, this is literal!
I'm sorry, this is just too cute for words.
Oh, and Styx has spent so much time in the pool with Cory and SimNerd that she's now fit. They
do love their Marco Polo.
One more stop to make before we're through...
"Hey, Spider, there's someone here to see you."
"Here to see...me? Are you sure?"
"Yeah, he's waiting downstairs."
" 'He?' Is it Cassidy? A half-alien guy a little older than me?"
"I can tell him you're not here if you want."
"No. It's better to maintain a minimum safe distance."
"Spider Jerusalem. You've graduated, I take it? With Honor?"
"Of course I have. I'm a Knowledge Sim, aren't I?"
"Then you won't mind helping me with a little experiment..."
"How much does this hurt? Scale of one to ten."
"Aaoooowww! Dad, what the fuck!"
"What is that? Six-and-a-half? Seven?"
"Call it a six, then."
"What are you even doing here? You've left me alone since I got here; why show up
now? Aside from the chance to electrocute me, that is."
"It's time to come back to Riverblossom Hills, Spider Jerusalem. You've had your fun. Now it's
time to come home and do what you were made to do."
"Screw that! I just finished my last final; I don't have to leave for a few more days yet! And I don't
think I was 'made' to do anything! I'll be back when I'm done here."
"Your insistence that you have a choice in this matter is tiresome. I have plans that require your
presence and assistance and obedience. You can make that phone call for the cab now, or you
can learn firsthand what happens when my patience is tested. I highly suggest the former."
"Fine. I'll make the call. But whatever you might think, you don't own me. And I don't owe you a
"We'll see about that."
Next time: Birthdays galore, Didi's wedding, and the attrition of Gen 3 begins!
So, when I was killing off the Beta-clone Townies, I Summoned Wanda Tinker to SimNerd's so that I could give her all the tombstones,
and she was hanging around for a while.
There may have been an incident involving Wanda Tinker and SimNerd's Cowplant.
Stephen Tinker may have been Fearing Wanda's death.
There may have been an Aspiration Failure and several Flour Sack Timmy cuddling incidents.
Melody Tinker may have stood there and made the "he's crazy" finger-twirl.
But Wanda has been resurrected and returned to her family and she and Stephen are married again and he eventually got his
Aspiration out of the red.
I just figured all the Stephen Tinker haters out there would get a kick out of this.
What happens when you hit Play on a houseful of SimSelves?
Dicreasy (Victorian Legacy): "It's a tree!"
Kendra: "It's a Cypress tree! Who's got the flame jets?"
Stacilee (Whedonberry): "It's a tree!"
MichelleFobbs (Planetary Apocalypse): "Red hands!"
Orikes (Pseudo Legacy): "Red hands!"
Kaiyah (Legacy Shmegacy): "It's Orikes!"
De: "I've already 'What's This'ed the tree. Must go 'What's This' a lamp!"
Sarah/PurpleBunny (Piratical Legacy): "Cannot Admire while hugging is going on!"
Flavius Marius (from Blite27's Ten Caesars Legacy): "WHEEEE!"
ProfessorButters (Squeaky Clean Legacy): "You downloaded Flavius a toga, right?"
Yes, I downloaded Flavius a toga.
There are a few other SimSelves (aside from the ones you've already seen) floating around too:
Denise/Avidreader (Puritanical Green Thumb Legacy) and Penguingirl (Penguino Legacy; she
"volunteered" for the gig *waves at Pen--so how many pants-fish would you like? :P*), plus
GintasticNecat (The Science of a Legacy) is raising little Billy Vetinari, Cy's accidental abduction