We are shaped by the stories we tell ourselves and those told to us by others. Negative narratives can lead to fear, low self-esteem, and armor that prevents vulnerability. However, it is possible to change one's internal story and rewrite harmful narratives in a positive, strength-based way. This involves practices like gratitude, mindfulness, acts of courage, and focusing on personal growth and relationships. An empowering narrative sees our inherent worth and brings more love and meaning into the world.
3. At external level, we are
influenced by cultural myths and
stories
Our stories are variation of fundamental archetypes.
4. Myths provide role models
• Human beings are the
only specie born too
soon: situation of
dependency
• Myths are like marsupial
pouch
• If you destroy the myths,
you destroy the culture
(cf buffalos for Native
Americans)
8. • Pick 3 tales you remember from your childhood
• Pick 3 stories from your family you have heard
many times
• What are their core message?
• Draw your positive genealogy tree with the
superpowers of your antecedents
10. And we are trying to make sense of
them and connect the dots
backwards
11. And that is very specific to
human kind
• We are the only beings to perceive our
time on earth as a story.
• We constantly interpret what we see
and create stories out of the reality.
• We crave for meaning.
• Suicide rates actually plummets in
time of war since conflict is a way of
finding meaning.
12. Your brain is a novelist
• It orders, classifies, selects, excludes,
forgets events and stories.
13. Your identity is a fiction
• Who are you? Your job? Your family? Your
name? Your community?
14. We create stories to include and
to exclude
• To federate people towards a goal, around values,
against an enemy.
• To build nations and communities.
• School manuals from 70 countries have been compared
on the story of the ”discovery” of America. None tells
the same story.
18. • Which negative narratives have you heard
about your community and have hurt you?
• When was the last time you listened to a
story which challenged your stereotypes?
• Identity list map
29. And especially the fear of
vulnerability
• “I want to experience your vulnerability
but I don’t want to be vulnerable.
• Courage in you sounds like inadequacy in
me.
• I am drawn to your vulnerability but
repelled by mine.
• Vulnerability is the last thing I want to see
in me but the first thing I look for in you.”
30.
31. And the fear makes us develop
armors…
• Imagining the worst
• Being perfect and
pleasing at all cost
• Numbing with work,
alcohol, sleeping pills,…
• Disconnexion, isolation...
• Blaming others
• Cynicism or agressivity
32. • I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon
your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
“I’m not screwing around. It’s time.All of this pretending and performing –
these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from
feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go.”
• Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I
understand that you needed these protections when you were
small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you
secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy of love and
belonging, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever.
• Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of
you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other
people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage
and daring are coursing through you. You were made to live and
love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen.
~ Brené Brown
33. • Which is your armor?
• When you experience shame, what is your
reaction?
– Move away (withdraw, hide, silence),
– Toward (please),
– Against (Aggressive, shame others).
• When was the last time you used your
armor?
34. Fear traps us into negative
narratives
• You are flawed.
• You are bad.
• You are not worthy of
love and belonging
35. And women are even more
targeted by negative narratives
You are fat
You can’t please your partner
You are a bad mother
You are not enough
Women don’t know
how to drive
Women lie
Women change opinion
all the time
Women are emotional
38. BIG GIRL, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
90%OF ALL WOMEN
WANT TO CHANGE
AT LEAST ONE ASPECT
OF THEIR PHYSICAL
APPERANCE
81%
of ten year old girls
are afraid of being fat.
And only 2% actually think
they are beautiful. 02
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Funny Weight Loss
Special Thanks to
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Source: Women Don’t Ask / Oxfam / EU
53. In a world where scarcity and shame
dominate, vulnerability is subversive.
54.
55.
56.
57.
58. • How much do you dare?
• What was your boldest challenge lately?
• Set yourself 3 challenges for the coming year.
• What are your superpowers?
• Write your epitaph or eulogy
• Ask 10 people around you to tell you moments or
circumstances in which they saw you thriving.
• Visualize success situation
• Imagine your 80th birthday: which 3 positive decisions led
you there?
64. • How is your body language?
• Do you open up or do you close ?
• Practice the power pose.
• How often do you smile?
• Have you practiced laughing yoga?
• Let’s sing and dance! #fitnessmarshall
• Clown: receive applause. Look into the eyes.
73. Mindfulness helps you to not
identify with the gremlins
• You separate yourself from your thoughts and
emotions.
• You avoid the sticky path.
• Anything towards which you direct your
attention gets stronger.
74. • Let’s meditate for 10 minutes!
• Raisin exercise
• Breathe in. Breathe out. Bell.
76. Gratitude creates a spiritual
alchemy
• It dissolves fears and ego, our need to
possess and control.
• It makes us more generous and tolerant.
• It develops our souls.
• You did XXX.
• That made me feel XXX
• That satisfied my need of XXX
77.
78. • Write a gratitude journal
• Letter to 5 people you want to thank
• Gratefulness visit
• Gratefulness meditation
• Gratefulness before meals
83. • Deepen your relationships: 36 questions app
• Improvise: What happens with Jaume?
• Free hugs
• Feedback speed dating
• Draw your relationships map
• Give a gift with no reason
• Guardian angel
• Benevolent look
• Qualities game: 10 you like. 10 you hate. 3 defaults so you love. 3
qualities so you hate. Out of 26 select 3 you are and 3 you are not.
You attract people with these 6 qualities.
88. • What is your love language?
• What is your partner’s? children’s?
parents’? Friends’?
89. Life as a spiritual path
• From fear
• Ego
• Judgment
• Negative internal
dialogue
• Loneliness
• I am different
• To love
• Trust
• Vulnerability
• Positive internal
dialogue
• Communion
• We are one
98. • How often do you insult yourself?
• What is your first thought when...
– A person is late to a meeting
– Somebody spills sth over you
– A date does not get back to you
– Your boss does not say hi
104. We attribute the cause of the
conflict to the other
• But in reality you are responsible of your
feelings
• The others may trigger them but they are
not the cause.
• Anger comes from our judgmental
thoughts.
• Conflict comes from unmet needs.
• Judgment triggers auto-defense and
counter-attack.
105. Spark your emotional agility
• SITUATION: what happens
• PERCEPTION
• AUTOPILOT: Feeling
• REACTION: Behaviour
• KNOWLEDGE: evidence to prove what
you think
106. Four steps of non violent
communication
• When OBSERVATION (no judgment),
• I feel FEELING (no covered reproach),
• Because I need NEED (no strategy).
• So I would like PRECISE AND POSITIVE
REQUEST (no demand).
108. Beginning anew steps
• First sharing your appreciation for the
other person.
• Then voicing regrets or apologies for the
hurt we might have caused in the other.
• Expressing what has hurt us in the other
person’s actions, speech or thoughts.
• And finally, asking for support regarding a
difficulty we are currently experiencing.
109. • List your most common judgments ( I hate
people who…). Then list your unmet needs in
front of them.
• Identify the SPARK of a recent conflict
• Apply CNV to a recent conflict you had
• Apply Beginning anew to a conflict
• Write a forgiveness letter
110. How do you reframe the
narrative?
• The power of narrative psychology
113. “You enter the forest at the
darkest point, where there is
no path.
Where there’s a way or path,
it is someone else’s path.
Each human being is a unique
phenomenon.
The idea is to find your own
pathway to bliss.”
114. Flow is a state of being completely
involved in an activity for its own sake.
• The ego falls away.
• Time flies.
• Every action, movement,
and thought follows
inevitably from the
previous one, like playing
jazz.
• Your whole being is
involved, and you're using
your skills to the utmost.
117. • What’s your bucket list?
• Write down your manifesto
• Dream mapping: your life in 5 years
• Live a new experience: change habits
• Learn a new skill
• Do something altruistic
• Dare to do something scary
• Commitment letter towards oneself
• Create a habit or quit one: commitment for 21 days
126. • Draw your life ups and downs
– 3 ups
– 3 downs
– 3 inspiring people
• Find 5 trends in your life and events which justify it
• Tell a same story with 5 different perspectives / tones
• Which animal are you?
• Find a word which qualifies you best.
• Imagine you build a social business.