Sex is good, healthy, natural. And yet, we managed to transform the act of making love and babies in one of the most sinful activity on the planet.
Our sex education is now mostly done through male-gaze porn.
Lingering myths about menstruation and sexuality lead to terrible consequences. And women even experience an orgasm gap!
So how do we shift the sex balance? How do we promote more sex positivity and happiness?
In France, 1 out 4 teenage girl
does not know she has a clitoris
Principaux résultats du baromètre du HCE
◗ 25 % des écoles répondantes déclarent n’avoir mis en place aucune action ou séance en matière d’éducation
à la sexualité, nonobstant leur obligation légale.
◗ Les personnels de l’Éducation nationale sont très peu formés à l’éducation à la sexualité.
◗ Lorsque l’éducation à la sexualité est intégrée à des enseignements disciplinaires, elle est largement concentrée
sur les sciences (reproduction) plutôt que d’être intégrée de manière transversale en lien avec la dimension
citoyenne et l’égalité filles-garçons.
◗ Lorsque des séances ou actions d’éducation à la sexualité sont menées, cela ne concerne pas toutes les classes
du CP à la Terminale, mais en priorité des classes de CM1 et de CM2 pour l’école, des classes de 4ème et 3ème
pour le collège, et des classes de 2nde pour le lycée.
◗ Les thématiques les plus abordées sont la biologie/reproduction, l’IVG/contraception, le VIH/Sida et la notion
de « respect », notamment entre les sexes. À l’inverse, les questions de violences sexistes et sexuelles ou
d’orientation sexuelle sont les moins abordées.
◗ Le manque de moyens financiers, de disponibilité du personnel et la difficile gestion des emplois du temps sont
perçus comme les principaux freins à la mise en œuvre de l’éducation à la sexualité et, a contrario, la formation
est vue comme le principal facteur facilitateur.
Résultats complets en Annexe 2.
Échantillon représentatif élaboré par la Direction de l'évaluation,
de la prospective et de la performance du Ministère de l’Éducation nationale
13 September 2016
School sex education often negative, heterosexist, and out
And taught by poorly trained, embarrassed teachers, say young
School sex education is often negative, heterosexist, and out of
touch, and taught by poorly trained, embarrassed teachers, finds
a synthesis of the views and experiences of young people in
different countries, published in the online journal BMJ Open.
Schools’ failure to acknowledge that sex education is a special
subject with unique challenges is doing a huge disservice to
young people, and missing a key opportunity to safeguard and
improve their sexual health, conclude the researchers.
They base their findings on 55 qualitative studies which explored
the views and experiences of young people who had been
taught sex and relationship education (SRE) in school based
programmes in the UK, Ireland, USA, Australia, New Zealand,
Canada, Japan, Iran, Brazil and Sweden between 1990 and
In the US, only 22 states require that
public schools teach sex education
With massive consequences
• UNESCO estimates that one in 10 African
girls, for example, miss at least one day of
school a month, leading to a higher drop-
• A survey in India found nearly 25% of girls
drop out of school permanently when they
reach puberty, because they have no toilet
Myth N.1: Men’s sexual energy is so
strong that it cannot be restrained.
• Men are sexual.
• They have a strong irrepressible drive.
• They are obsessed with sex.
• They think about it all the time.
• They are always up for it.
• And this desire cannot be restrained.
• That is why women have to behave.
Myth N.2: Women have less
sexual drive than men
Myth N.3: a sexually free woman
is a danger for the society
A woman is portrayed as either a
saint or a whore
Linked to theological traditions of Eve
and Lilith, women are perceived as
embodiments of inexhaustible negativity
Coming from a fear-driven desire of men
to control female sexuality and
• In primitive societies, men
regarded women with the
same dread they felt toward
the natural world.
• The core of the natural world
was the female womb, from
which newborn human life
emerged in a gush of blood.
Witch-hunting: A Manmade Tool
for Women’s Oppression
Overall, approximately 75 to 80 percent of
those accused and convicted of witchcraft in
early modern Europe were female.
The moral backing of torture of
thousands of women
Women who seemed most independent from
patriarchal norms -- especially elderly ones
living outside the parameters of the patriarchal
family -- were most vulnerable to accusations
The witch-hunts can be viewed as a case
of "genderized mass murder"
• The overall evidence makes plain that the growth -- the panic
-- in the witch craze was inseparable from the stigmatization
• Historically, the most salient manifestation of the unreserved
belief in female power and female evil is evidenced in the
tight, recurrent, by-now nearly instinctive association of
women and witchcraft.
• Same fear of malicious "power” than with Jews.
• Women are anathematized and cast as witches because of
the enduring grotesque fears they generate in respect of their
putative abilities to control men and thereby coerce, for their
own ends, male-dominated Christian society.
• (Katz, The Holocaust in Historical Context, Vol. I, p. 435.)
The vast literature of witch hunting is filled with
nightmares of castration and lost virility.
• The trauma of this genocide of free
women, of wise old women is still part of
our collective memories.
Let’s bust those myths…
• "Many, many men -- about one in five --
have such low sexual desire they’d rather
do almost anything else than have sex."
• ”In fact, almost 30% of women say they
have more interest in sex than their
Boys feel pressured to have a sexual activity or
to pretend to have one to belong
Women also have strong sexual
• " When it comes to the
craving for sexual variety,
the research Bergner
assembles suggests that
women may be "even less
well-suited for monogamy
Sex is the way in which intimacy
can be experienced
• A recent article by psychologist Steven
Bearman argues that men’s addition to
sex is the result of the lack of affection
and intimacy with other men (and perhaps
women) in their lives.
• For Bearman, sex addiction and
pornography addiction are the ways in
which men try to find closeness with
Nature wants all of us enrolled in
reproducing the species.
• Women can become disinterested in sex as a result
of childhood abuse, rape, social conditioning including body
image challenges, unaddressed relationship issues, unskilled
lovemaking or demands of juggling children and work, but
these all represent deviations from her inherent nature.
• Women are socialized to channel their erotic yearnings into
romantic fantasy rather than genital imagery, but when freed
of sex-negative conditioning and social judgments, women
desire erotic connection.
• When women are initiated into the pleasures of sex with a
lover who is sensitive, considerate, skilled, and receptive to
guidance, their sexual potential is awakened, and their
interest in sex equals or exceeds the interest of most men.
But these myths and
stereotypes still condition our
This belief in irrepressible male desire
has dramatic consequences on lives of
millions of young boys and girls
It legitimates prostitution, porn, even assault
as a lesser evil.
• Three quarters of them are between the
ages of 13 and 25.
• 80% of them are female.
Child sexual abuse is far more
prevalent than we realize
In US, EU, Canada, before 17 years
old, 25% of girls and 15% of boys
will experience sexual abuse
• 60% of them does not receive any type of
Source: Vicky Bernadet Foundation, Spain
Since the blame is on women,
female body has to be hidden to
avoid triggering male desire
And especially since most of
our sex education is now done
A study of 50 of the most popular pornographic videos found that
88% of scenes included physical aggression and 48% of scenes
included verbal aggression.
• The researchers observed a total of 3,376 aggressive
acts, including gagging in 54% of scenes, choking in
27% of scenes and spanking in 75% of scenes.
• They also found that the aggression was
overwhelmingly – in 94% of incidents – directed
• Not only that; in almost every instance, women were
portrayed as though they either didn’t mind or liked
• This echoes Hardwood’s claim to me that female
performers are required to look like they enjoy
whatever is done to them – even when they’re in a lot
Women’s bodies are available
• It doesn’t take a great awareness of
cultural theory to grasp the social
meaning of images of women being
repeatedly penetrated in every orifice to a
chorus of “slut,” “bitch” and “whore.”
Porn narratives find their way
into mainstream cultural images
• Think about how a porno ends: the “money
shot,” the culmination of the male orgasm.
• Think about the in-between moments of
mainstream porn: blow jobs, blow jobs, blow
jobs. Where’s the cunnilingus?
• The main goal of porn is to feature a male’s
ejaculation, their partners pleasure is
And most porn only portrays sex
and pleasure through male gaze
This leads to less satisfactory
sexual experiences for women
“The gap between men’s and women’s
frequency of orgasm is impacted by social
forces that privilege male pleasure.”
• Paula England, a sociology professor at
Stanford University said, “The orgasm gap
is an inequity that’s as serious as the pay
gap, and it’s producing a rampant culture
of sexual asymmetry.”
In same sex encounters, the
orgasm gap disappears…
Ignorance about body and myths
• Although Sigmund Freud argued that a clitoral
orgasm was adolescent and that the vagina was
the fountain of the more “mature” orgasm, there’s
evidence that theory is not only misguided, but is
also fueling the orgasm gap.
• “Stimulation of the clitoris is what gives a woman
an orgasm. It’s the center of orgasmic function,”
says Dr. Lloyd. “The clitoris is the homologue of
the penis—they have the same tissue. In
embryos, the same organ that turns into the
penis, turns into a clitoris."
Sexual assymetry comes from hook up
culture, lack of communication and education
Culturally, we overvalue
• Lesbian vs. Straight Sex: There is an orgasm gap
between women who identify as lesbian versus
straight. Lesbian women have significantly more
orgasms than straight women. (For men, orgasm rate
doesn’t vary with sexual orientation).
• Women Alone vs. With a Partner: Women have more
orgasms when they masturbate than when they are
with a partner. (In the study with 800 college women,
39% of women said they always orgasm
during masturbation while 6% said they always
orgasm during sex with a partner).
• Roughly 75 percent of women can never reach
orgasm from penetrative sex alone
“You don’t have to look far to see media
images of women having mind-blowing
orgasms from intercourse alone.”
• Evidence for this is found in language.
• We use the words sex and intercourse synonymously,
and relegate clitoral stimulation is to “foreplay” or that
which comes before the main act of intercourse.
• We commonly mislabel women’s genitals by the one
part (the vagina) that gives men, but not women,
• We have countless nicknames for the penis, but few
for the clitoris.
• More evidence for our cultural overvaluing of
penetration is found in media images and our
resulting false beliefs.
We have a double standard that judges women
more harshly than men for casual sex
• Sex education generally doesn’t focus on pleasure.
• Most of us have little training in sexual communication, yet
good sexual communication is key when it comes to female
orgasms since there are differences between women in terms
of what they need to orgasm and what one woman needs to
orgasm can vary from one encounter to another.
• Many women are plagued by body-image self-consciousness
during sex and it’s pretty much impossible to have an orgasm
while worrying if you look fat or holding your stomach in.
• Finally, reaching orgasm requires a complete immersion in
the sensations of the moment—or mindfulness—and few of
us have mastered this skill in our daily life, let alone our sex
And women still weigh the
burden of birth control
Is birth control a female
• Lisa Campo-Engelstein from “Science
– “Men typically do not have to dedicate time and
energy to contraceptive care, or pay out of
pocket for the usually expensive and
sometimes frequent (often monthly, or at least
four times a year) supply of contraceptives…”