The document discusses five principles of relationships: 1. The Lens Principle - how we see others is determined by who we are 2. The Mirror Principle - we must first examine ourselves 3. The Pain Principle - hurting people hurt others and are easily hurt 4. The Hammer Principle - don't overreact to problems 5. The Elevator Principle - we can lift people up or take them down It provides biblical examples to illustrate each principle and emphasizes the importance of healthy relationships in leadership.

1. RELATIONSHIPS

2. Are we prepared for Relationships?

3. Matthew 7:3-4

4. “ and why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? “ How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?’’

7. 1. THE LENS PRINCIPLE Who We are Determines How We See Others.

8. Story of a traveler nearing a city asked an old man about the people who lived in that city. The old man enquires as to how were the people in his home town. The traveler replied, mean, untrustworthy and detestable in all respects. The old man replied, you will find the people same here. Soon after another traveler asked the old man the same question. Again the old man asked him about the people where he was from. The second traveler responded, they were honest, industrious and friendly. The old man replied to the traveler that you will find the people same here.

9. The old man was very wise to see other people as a reflection of themselves. If I am a ________person, I will see others as_______. If I am a ________person, I will see others as_______. If I am a ________person, I will see others as_______.

12. he forgot how others helped him. (v.7-8) He belittled others. (v.10) He failed to count the blessings and counted only losses. he was insecure, self centered, insensitive and not generous. (v.11) he was building his own (worldly) kingdom, not god’s kingdom. (v.11)

15. Generous spirit Forthright approach Quick wit Eternal perspective Kind affirmation

17. The first person we must examine is ourselves. Coping with difficult people is always a problem, especially if the difficult person happens to be you. Take care of your own blind spots and character flaws. (This is Self- Leadership) .

20. People who are unaware of who they are and what they do, often damage relationships

21. THE MIRROR TEST Consider the following truths that every leader must understand .

23. Rom2:1 Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.

24. Examine yourself and take responsibility for who you are

26. People hurt others when they are emotionally damaged. Unfortunately the leaders get blamed for the hurt caused because they are the ones who are responsible for the organization.

29. Saul’s insecurity soared high when David was compared to him and was considered superior. He showed the following symptoms: Suspicion (v.9) Attempted murder (v.11) Fear (v.11) Insecurity (v.15-16) Conspiracy (v.13,17)

31. Have you been hurt by someone?Do you understand the hurt behind their action?

32. 4. The hammer principle Never use a hammer to swat a fly off OF someone’s head .

33. Easiest traps for a leader to fall into is to exaggerate a situation. We get caught emotionally in our problems and overreact to them. This is called swatting a fly with a hammer. Leaders must be steady, wise and objective to win the trust of others. Their steady behaviour has calming effect on followers.

36. 5. THE ELEVATOR PRINCIPLE We can lift people up or take them down in relationships

37. Every relationship we have, we either add value or consume value. Adding value is imperative for leaders. Lift others up. Believe the best about them. Encourage and empower them. Compliment others.

38. “ The world is starving for appreciation. It is hungry for compliments. But somebody must start the ball rolling, by speaking first”.- by a noted psychologist.

42. Would others say that you lift them up or take them down?

43. Courtesy: WINNING WITH PEOPLE