If you are serious about improving your marriage you have to examine your own attitudes and be prepared to make changes.

1. CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE,
CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE
When we enter into marriage, we enter with lots
of expectations and an attitude that all will work
well. Note that the expectations we set on our
spouses may not necessary be met. We have
hence to learn to change our attitude in order to
change our marriage.
Kigume KaruriMonday, September 10, 2018 1

2. • Attitudes can make us or break us. If you
have been around a spouse with a bad
attitude, you will notice that you feel like life
is slowly being drained from you. On the
other hand, if you are surrounded with a
spouse who has a positive attitude, it is like a
breath of fresh air.
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3. • Attitude is what you get after you develop a
style of thinking (positive or negative) and
then practice it so well that it seems like you
don't even have to think it out before you
respond.
• A good attitude will help your marriage
succeed.
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4. • Attitude has to do with the way I choose to
think about things. It has to do with one’s
focus. Two men looked through prison bars;
one saw mud, the other stars. Two people
were in a troubled marriage; one cursed, the
other prayed. The difference always is
attitude.
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5. • Many times marriages fail, not because of a
lack of love, but because spouses do not have
a good attitude. They wear each other down
with negativity.
• Don’t allow your mind to dwell on the
negatives but also look for the positives.
There is always a good side of everything we
do in life and especially in marriage.
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6. • Your attitude has a huge impact on your
marriage. A spouse with negative attitude
seems to find something wrong, even in good
times, while a spouse with positive attitude
strives for an attitude of gratitude, even in
bad times.
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7. • Your attitude determines your feelings
and actions
• How you think and what you think about
your spouse, will determine your feelings and
actions.
• Negative attitude creates negative responses
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8. • When you think negative thoughts or expect
negative responses, you develop a negative
attitude. Having an attitude is like pre-
thinking your next response.
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9. • One of the many areas where an attitude can
develop is in how one of you chooses to
spend your time. It is common for one person
in the couple to complain about the other
spending time focused elsewhere e.g. away
from spouse or family
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10. • You could develop an attitude after you've
been trying to communicate something of
importance and think you haven't been
heard.
• Try to change your attitude, adjust your
behavior, and spend more time together, no
matter how busy you are. This is an
important virtue in all marriages.
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11. • Change your thinking and your emotions will
follow. Erase your negative expectations. As
much as possible, meet each other with a
clean attitude slate. Expect to enjoy each
other and you're more likely to.
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12. • Taking charge of your relationship in a
positive way, and with a positive attitude,
can lead you to a marriage that is better than
ever.
• The cost of having a bad attitude is high. Your
attitude affects everything in your life. It’s
the lens through which you see the world.
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13. • If a negative attitude is wearing your
marriage out, make the intentional decision
to change it. Identify your triggers toward
negativity. The next time it occurs, try
something different.
• Whenever possible, seek people with great
attitudes. Learn from them. Ask how they
keep a good attitude in difficult situations.
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14. • Each one of us is responsible for his/her own
attitude. Your spouse may treat you unkindly,
or ignore you, but you are still responsible for
choosing your thoughts. The challenge is to
have a loving attitude.
• Love as an attitude is always to seek the well
being of the other person. Your first concern
must be for your spouse.
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15. • When you choose the attitude of love, you
are asking yourself, “What is best for my
spouse in this situation?” Always that means
holding your spouse accountable for
unacceptable behavior.
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16. • Focus on how terrible the situation is, and it
will get worse. Focus on one positive thing,
and another will appear. In the darkest night
of a troubled marriage, there is always a
flickering light. Focus on that light, and it will
eventually flood the room.
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17. • Maintaining a positive attitude in a troubled
marriage may seem impossible, but there is
always hope when the couple changes their
attitude.
• A positive attitude can be the salvation of a
difficult situation.
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18. • If you want to know your attitude, look at
your words and behavior. If your words are
critical and negative, then you have a
negative attitude. If your behavior is
designed to hurt or get back at your spouse,
then you have a negative attitude. Guarding
the attitude is the most powerful thing you
can to affect your behavior. And, your
behavior greatly influences your spouse.
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19. • Attitudes are so important as they affect your
actions; that is behavior and words. The
reality is that I may not be able to control my
environment, but I am responsible for what I
do within my environment. My attitude will
greatly influence my behavior.
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20. Attitudes Needed in Marriage
• These attitudes will make a big difference in
what happens in your marriage:
• We call them TAA which means in Kiswahili
LAMP. A TAA brings light in the home and
light is an important virtue in any marriage.
• 1. Trust,
• 2. Appreciation and
• 3. Acceptance of differences
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21. • Trust: Without it no marriage survive
• Appreciation: Learning to appreciate every
thing about your spouse.
• Acceptance of differences: Men and women
don’t think or act the same. Accept the
difference.
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22. • Your attitude is everything in your
marriage. If you are expecting and
anticipating that your spouse is going to be
complaining, that is what you are going to
hear more of. Since you are expecting it, it
will be what stands out most when your
husband or wife speaks to you.
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23. • A good attitude will help your marriage succeed.
• Change your attitude, change your marriage.
• If you are serious about improving your
marriage you have to examine your own
attitudes and be prepared to make changes.
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