The document discusses ways for couples to change their marriages for the better. It describes an exercise where couples had to look into each other's eyes, hug, and kiss for an extended period. This was difficult for some couples who had lost intimacy. The document then lists three important actions for healthy marriages: communicate openly with each other, demonstrate commitment through acts of love and appreciation, and be willing to compromise. Making these changes can help couples enhance intimacy and find enjoyment in their marriages again.

1. CHANGE YOUR
MARRIAGE
The onus of making a better marriage is on
both spouses. The couple can change the
ways they have been handling their
marriage.
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2. About two weeks ago, I was speaking
in a couple’s seminar on the topic of
Resolving Conflicts in Marriage. After
the session I asked the spouses to
stand up and each couple to look at
each other eyeball to eyeball for only
one minute. Most of the couples could
not finish the one minute without
looking sideways.
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3. Secondly I asked them to hug each
other and hold tightly for one
minute. Some of the couples were
unable to complete the minute.
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4. Lastly I asked each spouse to
kiss his/her husband/wife. They
did it hurriedly but I insisted
that the kiss needs to take
longer. This was a new
experience to some couples.
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5. One husband later stood up to
thank me and said that he felt
so nice kissing his wife as the
last kiss he ever had with his
wife was on their wedding day.
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6. These aspects are just a few
that we can do to change our
marriages and make our
marriages enjoyable. You can
do things differently. Avoid the
monotony of doing things the
same way always. Yes you can
change your marriage.
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7. THREE IMPORTANT ACTIONS TO TAKE
Here are the actions that
happily married couples
practice to maintain a healthy
relationship and bring changes
in their marriage:
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8. 1. COMMUNICATE WITH EACH
OTHER
Happy couples communicate.
Outstanding communication helps
your marriage weather storms,
resolve issues, and stay
connected. It deepens intimacy,
creates playfulness and fills your
relationship with warmth.
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9. As couples hold open
conversations with each other,
the results are: Those
conversations will be filled with
warm, kind, love, caring and
supportive words?
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10. Each spouse wants to be
appreciated and normally this is
achieved through open
communication.
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11. Are your conversations
intimate, deep and personal?
Look for issues to talk about
that will bring intimacy in the
conversation. Intimacy is
marriage is key.
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12. When alone, do you and your
spouse talk and enjoy each
other’s company or is your time
together filled with silence?
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13. It is a common saying in Kenya
that when you see a lady and a
gentleman talking much in a
vehicle, the conclusion is: That
is not a husband and wife.
We can change our marriages
by improving on our
communication.
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14. If you’re struggling with trying
to establish healthy
communication, then please go
see a marriage counselor to get
talking again.
You can also learn some skills
on communication in marriage
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15. But if you are communicating well
already, then simply focus on
communicating better by doing
more of the good things that you
are already doing
Discuss issues and problems as
they arise.
Don’t hide your feelings.
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16. Don’t ignore conflict.
Don’t go to bed angry.
Don’t let the conflict worsen the
matters at hand.
Deal with problems while they are
small and easily manageable.
Communicate! Communicate!
Communicate!
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17. 2. BE COMMITTED
Be committed and demonstrate
your commitment. Let your spouse
know how much he or she means
to you.
Share a meaningful “I love you”
with them.
Let them know how glad you are
that they are in your life.
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18. When was the last time you left a
loving card to brighten their day
either on the birthday or any other
times?
Such small acts are signs of
commitment.
Surprise your spouse with gifts.
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19. Commitment might sound simple
but it is a huge task to be
undertaken by both spouses.
Creating a safe environment for
your spouse in which they feel
loved and cared for goes a long
way to ease the pressures of daily
life; and it keeps you close to each
other.
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20. Note: Never, ever threaten to
leave over little things; and be
careful about giving ultimatums
altogether.
Threats and ultimatums diminish
trust and once trust is eroded, it
is becomes too expensive to be
brought back. It takes a longer
time to be trusted again.
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21. 3. COMPROMISE
Marriage is about give-and-take. You
cannot be rigid and expect change in
your marriage.
Compromise is key to happy marriages.
Compromise! Compromise!
Compromise!
Don’t let your ego rule. Strive for
balance.
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22. Each of us has wants, hopes
and dreams, and both of us
should be allowed to pursue
them – and you should support
each other in the pursuit of
happiness.
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23. Love doesn’t seek to coerce,
manipulate, or dominate. It gives,
serves, and supports in an attitude
of charity, warmth and kindness.
Happy couples who have
marriages that last for a lifetime
have learned the precious habit of
compromise.
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24. Lets action and perfect our
marriages.
Communicate, express your
commitment, and be willing
and happy to compromise.
Do these three things for a happy
and long lasting marriage.
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25. Yes you can change your
marriage. Do something about
it instead of whining and
complaining.
All of us should look for ways
and means of changing our
marriages for the better. Yes we
can.
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