The document outlines essential principles for sustaining a successful marriage, emphasizing the importance of putting God first, seeking immediate reconciliation after conflicts, and maintaining steadfast love and mutual trust. It highlights the need for couples to preserve their bond, keep private matters confidential, and establish clear agreements regarding finances. These actions are described as key to enduring happiness and unity in marriage over the years.

1. VITAL SECRETS IN
MARRIAGE
These are simple and profound actions
and responses that are vital in marriage
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2. New models of cars, phones,
equipment and machinery, etc come
out every year.
New designs of clothes, housing,
studies, etc are developed too every
year.
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3. In marriage you must retain the
same model i.e. the same
wife/husband that you are married
too. My wife is an 1977 model and is
perfectly very good. I married her in
1977.
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4. I have learnt over the 38 years to
ensure that I play my rightful role as a
husband and also father to my three
daughters and one son.
What is it that has kept me going?
Here are the simple and profound
actions and responses that have highly
esteemed my marriage:
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5. 1. Put God first in everything.
The apostle Paul’s counsel is: 1
Corinthians 10:31
‘Therefore, whether you eat or
drink, or whatever you do, do all to
the glory of God’. (NKJV)
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6. Matthew 6:33
‘But seek first the kingdom of God
and His righteousness, and all
these things shall be added to you’.
(NKJV)
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7. The first thing you need to do in your
marriage is to put God first. Let all
you do in this marriage be under the
guidance of God. He initiated
marriage and He understands
everything about marriage. When
situation are tense, call upon Him.
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8. Let go and let God take the
preeminence in your marriage. With
God nothing is impossible.
Most marriages don’t involve God.
As such they end up in bad state.
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9. 2. Seek reconciliation at once.
Remember love will not prevent
misunderstandings or quarrels.
Because we are human, seldom is
husband or wife completely right or
completely wrong.
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10. Any misunderstandings or quarrels
should be settled immediately, on the
same day they occur before going to
bed at night.
 Ephesians 4:26
"Be angry, and do not sin": do not let
the sun go down on your wrath,
(NKJV)
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11. Be humble enough to say, “I was
wrong” followed closely by “I am
sorry.”
James says, James 5:16
‘Confess your trespasses to one
another, and pray for one another, that
you may be healed. The effective,
fervent prayer of a righteous man
avails much’. (NKJV)
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12. A successful marriage requires two
sincere forgivers who can accept
and forgive as God accepts and
forgives us.
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13. 3. Be steadfast in love.
It is said that a successful marriage
requires “falling in love many times
BUT ALWAYS WITH THE SAME
PERSON.” The husband should love his
wife with the same selfless and
sacrificial love that Christ has so
demonstrated on the Cross for His
Church. The wife is to respond in the
same manner.
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14. It is said that marriage is a two-way
street of consideration and
cooperation. It is founded upon
kindness, selfless devotion and
consideration. Great happiness is
made up of little kindnesses. Lack of
consideration and appreciation is a
great divisive factor in marriage.
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15. 4. Preserve the bond of marriage.
Preserve this unity at all costs. It is
the gracious design of the Architect
of marriage that the married couple
remain faithful to each other and to
God whatever the circumstances.
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16. Mark 10:8-9
‘And the two shall become one
flesh'; so then they are no longer
two, but one flesh. Therefore what
God has joined together, let not
man separate. (NKJV)
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17. It pains a lot when I see couples
separating and even divorcing as
this is not the will of God. Retain the
bond of marriage; the bond one
oneness; the bond of one flesh.
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18. 5. Keep private matters private.
The wedded couple should endeavour
to keep certain matters to themselves
and within the confines of their newly
established home, “a sacred citadel of
exclusiveness where no prying eyes or
gossiping tongues are permitted.”

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19. Even the Lord our God keeps His own
secrets, but what He has revealed
concerns us and our posterity.
Deuteronomy 29:29
"The secret things belong to the LORD
our God, but those things which are
revealed belong to us and to our
children forever, that we may do all the
words of this law ". (NKJV)
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20. Most marriages are destroyed by either
couple revealing to Third Parties what
is ailing their marriages. When this is
done, trust is eroded and it hurts so
much. It is said: Hurting people hurt
people.
Whatever is happening in your
marriage should be kept as private
matter.
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21. 6. Establish a mutual trust in money
matters.
Always keep in mind that whatever
you possess comes from the loving
hand of God. You are merely
stewards entrusted with whatever
God is pleased to bestow upon you.
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22. Deuteronomy 8:18
"And you shall remember the LORD
your God, for it is He who gives you
power to get wealth, that He may
establish His covenant which He
swore to your fathers, as it is this
day ". (NKJV)
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23. Most frequently difficulties arise in
the family finances when there is too
great a disparity in the financial
backgrounds of the marriage
partners. Two people, even husband
and wife, with different sets of
financial values, and different
attitudes toward money, can very
readily disagree on how money is to
be used.
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24. What one regards as a luxury, the other
may consider a necessity.
In order to avoid difficulties in the
administration of the family funds,
some very basic concepts should be
resolved upon at the very beginning of
the marriage.
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25. Whether you are going to pool your
resources in a joint bank account or
keep a separate account, you know
best and you need to come to an
agreement from the outset.
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26. From my own experience, it is good
to have a certain amount that one
can use freely as one sees fit.
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27. These are simple and profound
actions and responses but they are
very vital.
Over the many years we have learnt
to practice them and they have kept
us going.
We are now an ‘empty nest’ but still
enjoying our marriage.
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