What Successful Marriages Have

WHAT SUCCESSFUL
MARRIAGES HAVE
Marriage is the most refreshing and sweet relation to have in life.
Apparently it is becoming the most frustrating relationship
nowadays.
Sunday, June
29, 2014
1

 It is good to ponder and ask the
questions:
 What is it that successful
marriages have?
 Why do some marriages work well
and others don’t work at all?
 What is it that contributes to
successful marriages?
Sunday, June 29, 2014
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 Here are a few thoughts that I have
from my 37 years of marriage that
have sustained our marriage. Not
that we have been good but we
have also put our trust in God,
having known that He is the
originator of our marriage.
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 God created a man for a woman
and the other way round. So, it is
natural, acceptable and legitimate
for a man to leave his parents and
cleave to a woman and they shall
become one body, as the Bible
says.
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 Genesis 2:24
 “Therefore a man shall leave his
father and mother and be joined to
his wife, and they shall become
one flesh”. (NKJV)
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 When, two people from various
background, culture, education,
social status, etc come together,
there is bound to be the initial
tumult, test and trial before, they
could eventually blend together.
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 Herewith are some areas that hold
marriages together:
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1. LOVE
 Love makes the world go round. It
is soothing, calming, and healing
to the body and the soul. What
attracts a man to woman is love.
True and lasting love will grow and
blossom with time. But, it has to
pass through the necessary test,
trial and tribulation.
8

 Lack of love between a man and
woman could lead to all sorts of
marital challenges- quarrels,
misunderstanding, domestic
violence, fight or even death.
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2. SEX
 No relationship or marriage can
survive without sex. Good sex
begins from the mind and ends up
healing the body and bringing
about intimacy. It actually begins
with foreplay, before the real act.
So, lack of sex will certainly kill
your relationship or marriage
faster than expected. Sunday, June 29, 2014
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 In Kenya, our culture allows a man
to be seen as alpha and omega by
the woman and the society. Some
Kenyan men look at women as sex
toys that should be used and
dumped. This attitude is not good
for relationship or marriage.
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3. COMMUNICATION
 There is no problem or challenge
that cannot be solved through
dialogue. Therefore, if you want to
be a success in the things of the
heart, so to say, you have got to
talk, talk and talk with your partner.
Otherwise, the relationship or
marriage will hit the rocks.
Communications actually solves all
problems, you know. Try out withSunday, June 29, 2014
12

4. FINANCE
 The question which normal comes
within the couple is: Whose Money
is it?
 Money, especially in developing
and poverty ravaged country is the
root of problems in marriages.
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 That is, how you generate your
income and how you spend the
money, will determine whether or
not your marriage will be
successful. So, before getting into
a relationship, take a pause, ask
yourself a critical question: Am I
an asset or liability?
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 Answers to this question will give
you an idea to either work or go
into business in order to
contribute financially to the family
kitty.
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5. RESPECT
 Respect is a 2-way thing. You give
respect to others and expect the
same in return. This is the
beginning of success either in
marriage or any other area of life.
Respect your spouse-his/her
opinion, views, comment, lifestyle
etc and it could be returned back to
you.
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6. COMPATIBILITY
 When one says compatibility, the
words that come to mind are:
harmony, blending, love, etc. It
takes maturity on the part of the
man and the woman to show
compatability, even on the face of
strife, quarrels and marital issues
to settle. Incompatibility is one of
the many killers of marriage.Sunday, June 29, 2014
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7. TRUST
 Trust is the glue that enables
marriages to function well
together. Because we want to
create a home that is safe and
efficient, I ask our couples to act
as stewards of trust in
relationships. These eight
principles help them:
 a. Trust in a relationship is built bySunday, June 29, 2014
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 b. Trust is built over time through
competence, commitment, & care.
We trust what is predictable.
 c. Trust is built as we preserve and
build the significance of our
spouses. We make a practice of
thanking each other.
 d. Trust is built through bearing
each others burdens. We trustSunday, June 29, 2014
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 e. Trust is built through a rapid
response to communication
quickly.
 f. Trust is built through humility.
We set aside our individual rights
in favor of the marriage.
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 g. Trust is built through personal
contact.
 h. Trust is diminished by sarcasm
and criticism. It's just not allowed
in our marriages.
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8.COMMITMENT
 Real commitment is a highly prized
commodity and those who have
experienced it know how gratifying
it can be to receive such loyalty.
God also loves commitment.
 That’s the kind of commitment
God admires - unqualified
commitment.
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 Unqualified commitment… that’s
what God had in mind when He
created marriage.
 People recognize the value of
commitment in marriage. And so
does God.
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 In Malachi 2:16 God showed how
much total commitment in
marriage meant to Him by
declaring “I hate divorce.”
 "For the LORD God of Israel says
That He hates divorce, For it
covers one's garment with
violence," Says the LORD of hosts.
"Therefore take heed to your spirit,Sunday, June 29, 2014
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9. UNDYING DEVOTION
 God prizes undying devotion in
marriage because He desires
couples to have Godly children. In
Malachi 2 God says this:
"Has not [the LORD] made them
one? In flesh and spirit they are
his. And why one? Because he
was seeking GODLY OFFSPRING."
Malachi 2:15 Sunday, June 29, 2014
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10. FORGIVENESS
 Forgiveness. What a wonderful
word. We love to be forgiven and
rejoice that in Christ God has
forgiven us of all our sins. But how
many of us can honestly say, “My
spouse has wronged me and that I
have not sincerely forgiven him or
her?”
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 What sustains a marriage is
forgiveness. We always hurt each
other in one way or the other. We
have to forgive each other for our
marriage to be strong.
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11. PLANNING
I always advise couples to
plan together. Lack of
planning means that you are
still planning to fail.
No one plans to fail; but many
fail to plan and when you fail
to plan you are planning to
fail. Sunday, June 29, 2014
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 Planning involves answering five
key questions….
 How? What is needed to meet the
goal?
 When? When will the goal be
accomplished?
 Who? Who will be involved?
 Where ? Where do we go from here?
 How much? Cost, budgeting.Sunday, June 29, 2014
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12. PRAYING TOGETHER
 Prayer's Role In Saving Marriage
 God created marriage. So it only
stands to reason that marriages are
healthiest and strongest
when prayer is a part of the
relationship.
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 But when two or more people
come together in prayer, difficult
situations can be turned around.
 You can also pray for the
marriages of others. If
appropriate, consider asking them
to describe the marriage of their
dreams so you can pray for them
to have that kind of marriage.
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 But take hope in the promise of
Romans 8:28 that God works all
things out for the good of those
who love Him. He picks up the
pieces of broken relationships
and through His grace makes
something positive come from the
disappointment and pain.
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 Remember that God is always
working to accomplish His
purpose in your life – He’s on your
side.
 One of the simplest things you can
do today is to decide to pray for a
happy, healthy and lasting
marriage.
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FINALLY
 A singer sung : “Troubles may
come, troubles may go. But one
thing you must do; Just call on
Jesus alone”.
 We have to trust God in our
marriages.
 We must also work to sustain our
marriages.
 Marriage is not a rehearsal. It is
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What Successful Marriages Have

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