This document outlines 13 behaviors that build trust in relationships according to Stephen Covey. The behaviors are: talk straight, demonstrate respect, create transparency, right wrongs, show loyalty, deliver results, get better, confront reality, clarify expectations, practice accountability, listen first, keep commitments, and extend trust. Following these behaviors promotes honesty, integrity, respect, accountability and trust between individuals.

1. 1
Trust
Trust = to be assured
= to be assured of the existence of Natural Acceptance in every
human being
Which means:
=to have the clarity that the other does not want to harm me
=to have the clarity that the other wants to make me
happy
Feelings in relationship:
1- Trust FOUNDATION VALUE
2- Respect
3- Affection
4- Care
5- Guidance
6- Reverence
7- Glory/Honour
8- Gratitude
9- Love COMPLETE VALUE

2. 2
Problems in relationship
Doubt on intention is a major reason for problems in relationships

3. 3
The other broke the glass
He is always late
If the other makes a mistake even
once…
– I doubt his intention, I don’t ask
“why”, “how”… I jump to the
conclusion “he makes mistakes
intentionally”
– I condemn the other, reinforce
“The other is bad”
– I get irritated, angry… have a
feeling of opposition…
The glass broke by accident
I am late
Even if I make the same mistake
100 times…
– I never doubt my intention
– I reinforce “I am good”
– I make mistakes by accident and
not intentionally
About the Other About Myself
Doubt on intention is a major reason for problems in relationships

4. 4
The glass was broken by accident
He is late
Even if the other makes the same
mistake 100 times…
– The other is like me, I am clear
about his intention
– I know the mistake is due to lack
of competence, not lack of
intention
The glass was broken by accident
I am late
When I make a mistake even
once…
– I am clear about my intention
– I know the mistake is due to lack
of competence, not lack of
intention
About the Other About Myself
Trust on intention is the starting point for mutual development

5. 5
TRUST IS
To be assured that the other wants
to make me happy & prosperous
In making the program of
interaction, one would evaluate
one’s own competence* as well
as the competence* of the other.
TRUST IS NOT
Assumption that the other wants
to make me happy and
prosperous
AND
TRUST IS NOT
Assumption that the other has the
competence* to make me happy
and prosperous
ABOUT TRUST
* Competence = Understanding, Feeling & Skills

6. 6
The Importance of Trust
• Anticipating the emotional effects that decisions
and actions might have on others
• Responding tactfully and respectfully in emotional
situations
• Eliciting the perceptions, feelings, and concerns of
others
• Recognizing that conflict is inevitable and using it
to strengthen relationships

7. 7
Covey’s 13 behaviors

8. 8
Behavior 1: Talk Straight
• Be honest.
• Tell the truth.
• Let people know where you stand.
• Use simple language.
• Call things what they are.
• Demonstrate integrity.
• Don’t manipulate people or distort facts.
• Don’t spin the truth.
• Don’t leave false impressions.

9. 9
Behavior 2: Demonstrate Respect
• Genuinely care for others.
• Show you care.
• Respect the dignity of every person and every role.
• Treat everyone with respect, especially those who can’t
do anything for you.
• Show kindness in the little things.
• Don’t fake caring.
• Don’t attempt to be “efficient” with people.

10. 10
Behavior 3: Create Transparency
• Tell the truth in a way people can verify.
• Get real and genuine.
• Be open and authentic.
• Err on the side of disclosure.
• Operate on the premise of “What you see is what you
get.”
• Don’t have hidden agendas.
• Don’t hide information.

11. 11
Behavior 4: Right Wrongs
• Make things right when you are wrong.
• Apologize quickly.
• Make restitution where possible.
• Practice “service recoveries.”
• Demonstrate personal humility.
• Don’t cover things up.
• Don’t let pride get in the way of doing things
right.

12. 12
Behavior 5: Show Loyalty
• Give credit freely.
• Acknowledge the contributions of others.
• Speak about people as if they were present.
• Represent others who aren’t there to speak for
themselves.
• Don’t bad mouth others behind their backs.
• Don’t disclose others’ private information.

13. 13
Behavior 6: Deliver Results
• Establish a track record of results.
• Get the right things done.
• Make things happen.
• Accomplish what you’re hired to do.
• Be on time and within budget.
• Don’t overpromise and under deliver.
• Don’t make excuses for not delivering.

14. 14
Behavior 7: Get Better
• Continuously improve.
• Increase your capabilities.
• Be a constant learner.
• Develop feedback systems—both formal and
informal.
• Act on the feedback you receive.
• Thank people for feedback.
• Don’t consider yourself above feedback.
• Don’t assume today’s knowledge and skills will be
sufficient for tomorrow’s challenges.

15. 15
Behavior 8: Confront Reality
• Address the tough stuff directly.
• Acknowledge the unsaid.
• Lead out courageously in conversation.
• Remove the “sword from their hands.”
• Don’t skirt the real issues.
• Don’t bury your head in the sand.

16. 16
Behavior 9: Clarify Expectations
• Disclose and reveal expectations.
• Discuss them.
• Validate them.
• Renegotiate them if needed and possible.
• Don’t violate expectations.
• Don’t assume that expectations are clear or shared.

17. 17
Behavior 10: Practice Accountability
• Hold yourself accountable.
• Hold others accountable.
• Take responsibility for results.
• Be clear on how you’ll communicate how you are
doing—and how others are doing.
• Don’t avoid or shirk responsibility.
• Don’t blame others or point fingers when things go
wrong.

18. 18
Behavior 11: Listen First
• Listen before you speak.
• Understand.
• Diagnose.
• Listen with your ears—and your eyes and heart.
• Find out what the most important behaviors are to
the people with whom you’re working.
• Don’t assume you know what matters most to others.
• Don’t presume you have all the answers—or all the
questions.

19. 19
Behavior 12: Keep Commitments
• Say what you’re going to do, then do what you say
you’re going to do.
• Make commitments carefully and keep them.
• Make keeping commitments the symbol of your
honor.
• Don’t break confidences.

20. 20
Behavior 13: Extend Trust
• Demonstrate a propensity to trust.
• Extend trust abundantly to those who have earned your
trust.
• Extend conditionally to those who are earning your
trust.
• Learn how to extend trust appropriately to others, based
in the situation, risk, and credibility (character and
competence) of the people involved. But have a
propensity to trust.
• Don’t withhold trust because there is risk involved.

21. 21
ACTIVITY