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Who Gets GrandmasYyellow Pie Plate PPT
- 1. Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate or Grandpa's Gun? Distribution of Nontitled Property in North Dakota
- 2. Types of Property Titled Property Owner identified by a legal document Nontitled Property Owner is not identified by a legal written document; also called personal property
- 3. It's only a pie plate, right? Value of Personal Property Financial value Historical value Sentimental or emotional value
- 4. What are the “pie plates” in your life? Your pie plate may not be round, and it may not be yellow, but every family has its pie plate.
- 5. Identify the Meaning of Special Items To whom are they special? Why are they special? Does it have historical value? Share the stories that go with objects.
- 6. Why plan for distributing personal property? Owner decides where items go Reduces stress on family Reduces conflict among family Passes on family history
- 7. Why don’t we plan? I don’t have anything of value. Talking about death is hard. My family can decide when I am gone. They won’t fight. Family members won’t agree with my decisions.
- 8. Goals for transferring nontitled property Maintaining privacy Improving family relationships Being fair to all involved Preserving memories Rewarding someone Contributing to society
- 9. Who to Involve Owners of the property Children In-laws Friends Caregivers Clergy Legal representatives
- 10. What does fair mean? Fair may be different in each family. Fair does not always mean equal. What to consider: Age, birth order Contributions through the years Marital status, need Who is family?
- 11. Managing Conflict Discuss method of transfer Establish ground rules Treat others with respect Listen to feelings expressed Say “no” to secrecy Remember, the owner gets to decide!
- 12. Methods of Distributing Lists Gifts Label items Verbal promises Family distribution
- 13. More Methods of Distributing Garage sale Estate sale Private auctions Public auction Silent auction Will
- 14. North Dakota provides a way to distribute personal property Identify item Identify recipient Dated and signed List may be changed just by making a new list, dating and signing it
- 15. Completing the Plan First step is most important Start the discussion Put it in writing Communicate with all involved
- 16. Don’t leave keepsakes to chance! Enjoy your keepsakes, most of all. Then develop a plan to pass these valuable parts of your past on to family, friends.
- 17. The best legacy we can give our heirs: Good feelings about who they are and where they came from
- 18. Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate or Grandpa's Gun? Distribution of Nontitled Property in North Dakota For more information on this and other topics, see www.ag.ndsu.edu. For a more detailed program on this topic, contact your local county office of the NDSU Extension Service. Thank you!
Editor's Notes
- Transferring personal property can be a time to celebrate a person’s life, share memories and stories, and continue traditions and family history. Sharing stories about special objects helps family members understand their past, discover another aspect of their family and appreciate the real accomplishments of their ancestors. Sharing stories and meanings about significant belongings helps preserve family history, memories and traditions. Read Story 1: This is not an ordinary yellow pie plate
- Titled property - Owner identified by a legal document Examples – land, car, house, bank account, stocks and bonds Nontitled property - Owner is not identified by a legal written document; also called personal property Examples – household items, tools, antiques, guns, jewelry Plans for transferring of both types of property are important. Titled property usually is passed on through a gift or a will, joint ownership or right of survivorship plans, or a named beneficiary. You need legal documents to transfer the property. Nontilted property often gets forgotten when planning how to distribute our estates. Today we will be talking about the transfer of our nontitled personal property. Attorneys tell us the transfer of nontitled property can create more conflict and challenges for family members than the titled property when settling an estate.
- Some of our personal property, such a jewelry, may have a financial value, and some of our possessions may be old and have historical value for the family or the area we live in, or even museum value for the whole country. Some of our personal property may have no financial or historical value but have great sentimental or emotional value. Many items trigger memories and feelings of a lifetime and connections between the generations. However, sentimental value for the the owner and the receivers may be different. Decisions about personal property involve dealing with emotions attached to things. Read Story 2.
- Read Story 3. As an introduction to this topic, I have asked you to bring a family treasure to our program today. Let’s start by going around the room and showing your item, then telling a bit about how you came to have it in your possession.
- You may want to make a list of items that are special to you. Include a message about why they are special to you, and maybe where they came from, who made them or who gave them to you. You also may want to ask family and friends if any of your items are special to them, and why. You may be surprised. Make a list of historical items and tell the history of the items. Write the information down as a record. Are these items something you would like to loan or donate to a local museum? Sharing the stories of our special treasures is so important. Read Story 4.
- Property owners have the legal right to decide when and how to transfer their nontitled property. Creating a plan for distributing personal property allows the owner to decide where the items go. Don’t leave it to chance. Having a plan reduces the stress put on family after the owner is gone. Reducing or avoiding conflict within the family is another great reason to create a plan for distributing personal property. It also is a way to ensure that your family history is passed along for future generations to enjoy. Read Story 5.
- What stops us from creating a plan to distribute our personal property? Sometime we don’t think we have anything of value. We may not think anyone would want our “stuff,” but we may be surprised when we ask family or friends, or have items appraised. For some, talking about death is uncomfortable, so bringing up the topic of who gets our special items when we die is hard to do. Or a family member or friend may not want to bring up the topic because he or she doesn’t want to appear greedy. Some of us want to leave the decisions to our family after we are gone. And many of us can’t imagine our families fighting or disagreeing. Of course, we all have heard tales of families falling apart over distributing a loved one's property. And sometimes we don’t plan because we are afraid family members won’t agree with our decisions.
- Determining what we would like to accomplish by creating a distribution plan might be helpful. We may want to distribute our property privately. This may be accomplished more easily before our death if this is our goal. We may use gifting items as a way to improve family relationships. Our goal may be to be fair to all involved. We may want special items preserved as memories or for family history. We may want to reward someone who has been special to us, such as a neighbor, friend or granddaughter. We may have historical items that we want to share with a museum for all to enjoy.
- The owner can choose who to involve in his or her plan for distributing personal property. Here is a list of people you may choose, but again, each family is different and the owner may choose whomever he or she wants to be involved. Look for someone who can help you with the process, not someone who will tell you what to do. Who would you invite to help?
- When the value of property is not measured easily in dollars, the challenge of being equal is harder. Some items are priceless when considering the family value. Fair may be different in each family. Fair is not always equal. Maybe a granddaughter has been available and provided more help and companionship through the years. Maybe sharing some special items with her that other granddaughters don’t get is fair. Perhaps you would like to give one of your items to a very special friend instead of a family member. Maybe someone in the family has a real need for your piano or grandpa’s fishing equipment. You may base your distribution on many different factors: Age, birth order Contributions through the years Marital status, need Who is family? Ask the group to share ideas about fairness.
- To keep conflict to a minimum, here are a few guidelines: Discuss what method of transfer you will use. You may want to establish ground rules for the distributions, and be sure to follow them. Treat all with respect. Listen when feelings are expressed. Sometimes just allowing someone to express his or her feelings can defuse a situation. Say “no” to secrecy. Secrecy often breeds discontent and discord. Surprises often lead to distrust and ill-will. Even if someone disagrees about how items are being distributed, knowing in advance is better than being surprised later. Always remember: The owner of the property gets to decide and has the last say. We must accept his or her decisions. Period! Read Story 6.
- You have a variety of methods to distribute personal property. No method is perfect or right for all families. Lists, labels and gifts are a more informal method of distributions. Verbal promises may work, but they are hard to verify once someone has died or becomes incapacitated. Read Story 7.
- Having a sale or an auction for personal property may work well for some families. You will need to decide if the sale or auction is going to be public or just for family and friends. Plan ahead and choose a method or methods that work for you. Start by deciding if you want items distributed before death or after death. You may have items distributed before and after death. Nontitled personal property is not listed in a will, but a list for how a person would like to distribute his or her personal property can be referred to in the will and kept with the will. You also may want to inform your personal representative about the distribution list you have created. Read Story 8.
- North Dakota has provided a legal way to transfer nontitled property through this separate listing. Refer to participant handout Distribution of Personal Property. The North Dakota Uniform Probate Code contains a provision allowing a person to refer in his or her will to a separate listing that disposes of tangible personal property. The list cannot be used to distribute cash, stocks and bonds, mutual funds, other intangible personal property or real estate. The list is not a part of the will, but it may be kept with the will. The list must identify the items and the people to receive them. The list can be in the owner’s handwriting or signed by the owner. The separate listing should be kept with the will so the personal representative is able to distribute items to intended recipients. The separate listing can be changed as new possessions are added without the formalities required for a new will or codicil. The list should be dated and signed each time a change is made. Or a new list can be made each time changes occur.
- Getting started often is the hardest step. Sometimes the task seems overwhelming, so ask someone to help you. Start by talking and planning. When decisions have been made, put them in writing. You always can make changes later. When the plan is created, communicate it with all involved. If we don’t decide and make a plan, others will decide for us.
- Whatever keepsakes you have, be they of sentimental or monetary value, enjoy them yourself, most of all. But then develop a plan to pass these valuable parts of your past on to family, friends or organizations that will treasure them.
- For more information, see the NDSU publication FE1521. For a more detailed program on this topic, contact your local county office of the NDSU Extension Service.