The document summarizes a lecture given in Tokyo in November 2009 by Professor Mark Petersen on writing English essays. It provides examples from essays submitted to the I-OsMOSIS English Essay and Criticism Contest 2009, with Professor Petersen explaining common mistakes made by Japanese writers. Some issues discussed include subject-verb agreement, tense usage, relative clauses, prepositions, and the distinction between limiting and non-limiting clauses. The goal is to help Japanese learners improve their English writing skills.

1. Thinking about Language
and about Writing
in English
Mark Petersen教授に学ぶ
英文エッセイ講座
2009年11月29日 東京
主催・アイ・オズモシス

2. このPower Pointは、2009年11月29日に東京で行なわれたマーク教授
の英語エッセイ講座をもとにしています。
「アイ・オズモシス英語エッセイ・評論コンテスト2009」に一般投稿された英
文エッセイ・評論の中から、優秀なノミネート作品を素材にして、コンテスト
審査委員長のマーク教授が日本人によくある英語ミスを解説しました。
コンテストの概要、ノミネート作品のオリジナル英文は公式ブログを
ご覧下さい。

3. For most people whose
native language is
Japanese, the main
problems encountered in
writing in English involve...

5. But for the best-essay-contest entrants,
the most immediately conspicuous
problem was:

6. 例文から学びましょう。

7. I couldn’t believe [it] when I found
out something is happening …

8. … her happy marriage ended
in 1945, when a letter arrived to
inform that her beloved
husband bravely died for the
country ….

9. Grandma’s wrinkled hand
passed me two silver coins.
There is no shopping tax. 200
yen is enough for two cups of
shaved ice.

10. 200 yen is not enough to buy them, now
that the shopping tax was introduced,
but I can cover that with my own money
now.
When I close my eyes, I could still see
Grandma’s small hands, those extremely
wrinkled hands, taking out two silver
coins for me.

11. I feel that his anxiety and sadness
were beyond our imagination.

12. Then, did he bear a grudge against
humans? No, he did never although
the atomic bomb robbed him of his
family and his health.
Did he, then, bear a grudge against
humans? No, he never did, even
though the atomic bomb had robbed
him of his family and his health.

13. It was raining when my brother went to
the hospital. We planned to meet
beforehand near the hospital. He
came at exactly the meeting time.

14. He seemed to be waiting us. Maybe my
mother told him about his son’s visiting.
He seemed to be waiting for us. Maybe
my mother had told him about his son’s
intending to visit.

15. When I came back to the room, my
father and brother did not talk.
However, there was a mood of
reconciliation.
When I came back into the room, my
father and brother were not talking.
There was, however, a mood of
reconciliation.

16. In August, my father has recovered from
serious condition.
In August, my father recovered from his
[the] serious illness.

17. Born as an illegitimate child, at a mere 15
years of age she is heartlessly married off
to a brutal and much older man after her
mother died.

18. I prepared a memorandum with illustrations
so that he can understand how to switch
these equipments on, but, unfortunately, he
could not find where the memo was.
… so that he could understand how to
switch the equipment on, but, unfortunately,
he could not find the memo [it].

19. However, I was not brave enough to tell him
my feelings. Our relationship had not changed
till summer when we were in 3rd grade of junior
high. It was very sudden when I got a phone
call from him.
However, I was not brave enough to tell him
my feelings. Our relationship did not change till
the summer of our 3rd year in junior high. ….

20. Since then, I could not forget him.

21. Some Other Problems...

22. The rest of Christians who escaped the
persecution hid themselves in order to
observe faith during Edo period.
The Christians who escaped the
persecution hid themselves in order to
be able to continue practicing their
faith, and they remained hidden
throughout the Edo period.

23. I called my brother from the
public telephone at the
hospital.

24. Set in the turbulent modern
Afghanistan in the city Kabul ….

25. In the summer of 2004, I went
to a Coming of Age Ceremony
held in my hometown.

26. When the documentary
“Born Into Brothels” was first put
on the screen in year 2004, it
shook the world.

27. Summer is the hardest season for
aged people, and their family
should help them.

28. At that time, some of my friends
criticized me for my decision.
I have no objection against their
advices.
I have no objection to their advice.

29. Intransitive Verbs Used As If
They Were Transitive

30. … it’s wonderful to wait person
who needs us.
He seemed to be waiting us.

31. 仮定法
The Subjunctive Mood

32. I wish you who saw this essay read his writing, visited
Nagasaki, and prayed for others and world peace with
love.
I wish you who are reading this essay would read his
writing, (would) visit Nagasaki, and , (would) pray with
love for others and world peace.
I hope you who are reading this essay will read his
writing, (will) visit Nagasaki, and , (will) pray with love
for others and world peace.

33. Other Inappropriate Verb
Usage

34. The passage was connected the ward
that my father stayed to the entrance
of the hospital.
The passage connected the ward that
my father was staying in to the
entrance of the hospital.

35. It was in the winter of 2005 that we
knew my father was seriously ill.

36. I pretended to go to take the towel, and
went out of the room because my mother
had asked me to make enough time for
them to talk with.
My mother had asked me to give them
enough time to talk, so I left the room,
pretending to be going out to get a towel.

37. It is a book that bridges the Western world with the
Middle-eastern world, allowing the reader to realize
the universality of people despite their social and
political circumstances.
It is a book that creates a bridge between the
Western world and the Middle-eastern world,
helping the reader realize the universality that exists
among people despite differences in their social
and political circumstances.

38. It was the end of summer during 1st
grade in high school when I noticed
our relationship ended.
It was at the end of the summer during
my 1st year in high school when I
realized our relationship had ended.

39. He writes that the childish girl
looked more matured because
she acted like a little kid ….

40. 懸垂分詞:主節の主語を意味上の
主節の主語を意味上の
主語としない
としない分詞構文
主語としない分詞構文
Dangling Participles

41. Physically and emotionally abused by her
devious husband, the reader cannot help
being pained yet also impressed by
Maraim’s endurance.
Maraim has been physically and
emotionally abused by her devious
husband, and the reader cannot help
being pained yet also impressed by her
endurance.

42. 前置詞
Prepositions

43. At an obscure corner of my large
bookshelf, I find my high school
yearbook.
In a corner of my large bookshelf, ….

44. Laila, born a generation after Maraim, is
not without her own grievances,
brought forth on Part Two. Her parents
were killed in a bomb when she was
just 14 ….

45. 関係詞節
Relative Clauses

46. Dr. Nagai who is the author of
the book is often criticized.
Dr. Nagai, who is the author of
the book, is often criticized.

47. 限定と非限定：基本的な
限定と非限定：基本的な使い分け

48. The passengers who were American citizens were all taken off
the plane and arrested.
（アメリカ国籍の乗客はみな飛行機から降ろされ、逮捕された
アメリカ国籍
アメリカ国籍の乗客はみな飛行機から ろされ、逮捕された
はみな飛行機から降 された）
というと、降ろされず、逮捕されていない乗客もいたということになるのに対して、カンマ有り
の
The passengers, who were American citizens, were all taken off
the plane and arrested.
は、「乗客は（全員アメリカ国籍だったが）みな飛行機から降ろされ、逮捕された
乗客は 全員アメリカ国籍だったが）みな飛行機から降ろされ、逮捕された」ということに
乗客 アメリカ国籍だったが 飛行機から された
なります。カンマ無しで｢乗客の中にいたアメリカ人だけ｣と限定している
カンマ無
カンマ 限定している
限定している英語とは違って、カン
カン
マ有りの方は「ちなみに」
といった感じで、乗客について｢みなアメリカ人だった｣という情報を
付け加えているだけで、何の限定もしていないのです。
限定もしていない
限定もしていない

49. 関係代名詞とそのロジカルな
関係代名詞とそのロジカルな世界
とそのロジカル

50. 制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）
制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）
教科書に られる教
と教科書に見られる教え方（１）
Alice likes soft drinks. ＋ Soft drinks are sweet.
→ Alice likes soft drinks which are sweet.（×）
（
（アリスは、甘い味のするソフトドリンクが好きです）
先行詞 ＋ 関係代名詞 ＋ 形容詞節
→ Alice likes soft drinks, which are sweet.（○）
（
先行詞 ＋ コンマ ＋ 関係代名詞 ＋ 形容詞節

51. 制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）
制限用法・非制限用法（限定用法・非限定用法）
教科書に られる教
と教科書に見られる教え方（２）
Some soft drinks are sweet. ＋ Alice likes soft drinks of that
kind.
→ Alice likes soft drinks which are sweet. （○）
（アリスは、甘い味のするソフトドリンクだけ だけが好きです）
だけ
先行詞 ＋ 関係代名詞 ＋ 形容詞節

52. 冠詞と
冠詞と数の可能性

53. The Possibilities for “Pure Countables”:
○ I have found a way to contact her.
○ I have found the way to contact her.
○ I have found ways to contact her.
○ I have found the ways to contact her.
× I have found way to contact her.

54. Nouns that can be used as both
“countables” and “uncountables”
a metal 例: Silver is a metal.
the metal 例: The metal that she likes most is platinum.
metals 例: Platinum, silver, and gold are all metals.
the metals 例: The metals that she likes most are platinum, silver,
and gold.
metal 例: Almost all of these products contain metal.

55. 時制に する典型的な
時制に関する典型的な問題
典型的

56. 1. Lack of understanding of the present tense with “action
verbs” as expressing “habitual, repeated activity.”
Easy to understand: CABARET（『キャバレー』）
SALLY: Maybe you just don't sleep with girls. Oh! You don't!
Not so easy to understand: THE GRADUATE（『卒業』）
MRS. ROBINSON: What do you drink, bourbon?
2. Lack of distinction between past and present perfect
They (have) signed a contract with ....

57. マーク教授がブログで質問を受付中。
マーク教授がブログで質問を受付中。
教授
締切2009年12月31日）
（締切 年 月 日
ご質問はEメールでこちらまで。
質問は メールでこちらまで。
メールでこちらまで

58. マーク・ピーターセン著
「日本人の英語」 岩波新書
綿貫 陽 マーク・ピーターセン著
「表現のための実践ロイヤル英文法」 旺文社

59. 例文に使ったオリジナルエッセイの全文は、
アイ・オズモシス、コンテスト公式ブログから
ご覧下さい。

60. 明治大学経済学部教授。アイ・オズモシスのアドバイ
ザー。日本語と英語の深い知識を元に、日本人がお
かしやすい英語の間違いを鋭く指摘する、日本人英
語の権威。ロングセラーの新書「日本人の英語」は日
本人学習者の必読本。また、「表現のための実践ロイ
ヤル英文法」も、文法を本気で学びたい人には必読。

61. アイ・
アイ・オズモシス
英語エッセイ 評論コンテスト
エッセイ・
英語エッセイ・評論コンテスト
2009
アイ・オズモシス英語エッセイ・評論コンテスト2009は、マーク・ピーターセン
教授を審査委員長に迎え、2009年8月～9月の2ヶ月にわたって開催されま
した。今回は、応募総数101作品の中から、審査委員会の投票と、公式ブ
ログで読者投票を行ない優秀作品を決定しました。
あなたのコンテスト2010への参加をお待ちしています。
詳細はブログから。

62. 英文ライティング教育のアイ・オズモシス
アイ・オズモシスは、英文ライティング教育専門のオンライン・スクールです。
オンラインの英語ライティング講座やセミナー、英語ライティングコンテスト
やイベントなど、日本人の英語ライティング力向上を目標にさまざまな教育
活動を展開しています。

63. Thank you!