This document discusses the importance of authentic discourse between teachers and students to build a sense of community. It states that genuine communication is based on equality and respect, with teachers serving as moral examples rather than authority figures. The document emphasizes that celebration and open discussion of challenges are both important to support community growth. It also stresses that eliminating toxic language and responding to students with humility and self-discipline rather than aggression helps create a secure learning environment where self-examination can occur.

1. The principal way that teachers express respect for their students and invite
engagement in the community-building process is through ​authentic discourse​.
Consider the ingredients of simple conversation:
● Sharing​… an exchange of ideas and opportunity for self-expression.
● Respect ​… acknowledging individuals’ self-worth and the legitimacy of their
contributions.
● Agreement​… conversation is the simplest form of agreement and social contract.
90% of interpersonal problems are not grounded in disagreement. Rather, they arise
from the following sources:
● Miscommunication​[false assumptions, often based upon the interpretive lens of
the hearer’s past experiences].
● Feelings of frustration​[when people believe that their viewpoint isn’t respected
or valued]
Notice, from the teacher’s perspective, conversation is never punitive. While it may
occasionally express disagreement, it is never disapproving or angry.
There are 2 purposes to conversation:
1. To create a community that values self-awareness, personal responsibility, and the
achievement of personal goals.
2. To affirm our heart-felt concern for student’s personal well-being and academic
success by fostering the adoption of important character traits [persistence,
self-control, honesty, etc.].
Notice, genuine communication is grounded in a sense of human equality: therefore,
teachers lead by example, as moral agents, not by executive fiat, as feudal lords.
Moreover, while teachers play a special role in their communities, they work ‘among’
their students, as community members who model the values and procedures they
seek to instill.
Transformational learning requires students to examine what they think and feel at a

2. deep, personal level, and this type of self-examination can only take place when
students feel emotionally secure.
Whenever a teacher condescends or patronizes students, they erode students’ trust:
● in their own innate value
● in the teacher-student relationship
● in the teacher’s moral authority
● in the equality of the human condition
There are 2 important types of conversation that are necessary to support community
growth:
1. Celebration time.​We have to share in one another’s successes and joys to be a
community. Whether it’s telling a personal story or sharing a hobby or something
of compelling, personal interest, celebration time is necessary​to identify mutual
interests and form bonds based upon common experiences.
2. Straight talk time.​Every community faces real challenges, adversity, times of
trial, which are certain to occur. Issues of concern have to be ​identified and
shared communally​, so that people …
● … are aware of the problem. What’s a problem for one person is not always a
problem for another.
● … can come to a communal agreement about what is valued.
● … are accountable for meeting the standards that the community embraces.
● … can brainstorm solutions.
● … can have an opportunity to help others.
Eliminating ​toxic language​among students is vital to creating an environment of
civility and discourse: this includes stereotypes, race-based comments, sexual
innuendo, profanity, and derogatory comments [personal attacks and slurs].
As a teacher, it is imperative not to label behaviors [“You’re acting ridiculous!”],
employ sarcasm, or respond aggressively [with​​words, tone, or body language] to
student provocations: this requires self-discipline, humility [to admit errors], and a
willingness to learn new things.
[Perhaps, these are also the qualities of a good student.]

3. Toxic teacher behavior and language always results in one or more of the following,
undesirable consequences for students:
● Self-justification​… The student is able to ignore any sense of personal
responsibility for his original infraction by focusing upon the teacher’s
inflammatory response.
● Power struggles​… As soon as the battle of wills ensues, the teacher undermines
his or her moral authority, the student’s trust in the student-teacher relationship,
and the emotional security of the learning environment.
● Displacement​… This is the ripple effect of the interaction that entices
inappropriate responses from other students.
● Toxic messages​… When teachers are toxic, the implicit message is that human
value is relative, students are incapable of making positive changes, and forced
compliance is the ultimate, educational goal. [This is a tragic message that
implants itself in the human psyche like an emotional time-bomb.]
How we interact with others is the real evidence of what we truly think and believe.