1) Selective Mutism is characterized by an inability to speak in certain social situations, such as at school, despite being able to speak in other situations like at home. 2) It is caused by extreme anxiety and an inability to control speaking, rather than shyness or willful defiance. Children with Selective Mutism experience great stress and feel they cannot communicate without words in high-expectation situations. 3) If left untreated, children with Selective Mutism may experience problems like depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and substance abuse later in life. Treatment focuses on creating a supportive environment and avoiding pressure to speak.

2. Which one of us has Selective Mutism?

3. Quiet, shy
Poor eye contact
Isolates self
Worries excessively
Often complains of aches, pains, suffering
Appears to “shut down” in an instant at times
When you hear that a child has Selective Mutism
you probably picture a child like this:

4. Parents often report these seemingly shy children
“won’t shut-up”
at home!
What you may NOT envision is this:

5. The inability to speak in certain situations while having noThe inability to speak in certain situations while having no
problem speaking in other situations.problem speaking in other situations.
The higher the expectation to speak, the lower theThe higher the expectation to speak, the lower the
chances a Selectively Mute child will be able to speak.chances a Selectively Mute child will be able to speak.
Willful defiance, stubbornness, orWillful defiance, stubbornness, or
anything a child can control.anything a child can control.
What is Selective Mutism (SM)?

6. ***Selectively Mute (SM) children***
CAN NOT CONTROL
WHEN THEY ARE UNABLE TO
SPEAK

7. How do I know this isn’t just shyness?
What is the difference?

8. A shy child may be quiet
and just observe others at first,
but will eventually relax and join in

9. A Selectively Mute child will remain quiet and
just observe
without ever relaxing and joining in…

10. SOMETIMES
But this same child
will have
NO PROBLEM
participating
at other times

11. Typical feelings/reactions WE experience
when a Selectively Mute child will not speakto us:
*Frustration
*Hurt feelings/Taking it personally
*Anger
*Belief that the child is being willfully defiant
*Thinking child is engaging in a power struggle
*Blaming the child’s behavior on poor parenting
(Parents are not firm enough or child is spoiled)

12. INEFFECTIVE strategies
Punishment
Insistence/pressuring
Ultimatums
Motivational rewards

13. If left untreated, child
may face:
Depression
Social anxiety
Panic attacks
Phobias
Substance abuse
Suicide

14. I need a volunteer…
Step into their shoes…
How would YOU feel?
*COMMUNICATING A NEED WITHOUT SPEAKING…

15. It may not be as simple as you’d think…
No words
No direct eye contact
No facial expression of emotion
No gesturing
No vocal sounds

16. A group of children may all participate in the
same activity…but the SM child is likely to
experience it quite differently than his peers.

17. PLEASE DON’T!…
Make a big deal if the child does talk.
Say orallow others to say that the child
“doesn’t talk” or“can’t talk”.
Try to trickthe child into speaking.

18. PLEASE DO!...
Privately share praise with the child if it specifically
addresses the topic of speaking.
Reassure the child that you will never be angry with him
or her for not speaking until he or she is ready.

19. The type of question you ask
a selectively mute child
can substantially effect
the child’s level of anxiety.
You may be surprised…

20. Which questions cause the most stress?
What is your favorite movie?
When is your birthday?
How are you feeling today?
Which color popsicle would you like?
What is your teacher’s name this year?
If you had a million dollars, what would you buy?

21. Ask forspecific responses
Try to avoid asking for
opinions, preferences, or
one of many possible answers.

22. Which of these are stressful for a child with SM
Playing a game of kickball with friends and familiar
neighborhood children in the street in front of the child’s home
Playing a piano piece at a recital
Singing “Happy Birthday” with friends at a party
Having friends sing “Happy Birthday” to the child (he/she
does not have to sing)
Putting on a silly skit for a friend’s parents while sleeping over
at the friend’s house
Standing with classmates on the cafeteria stage during a PTA
meeting singing “The 12 Days of Christmas” and holding up
the corresponding number of fingers every time you sing
“FIVE GOLDEN RINGS”

23. Writing down a “secret number” for others to guess to see who
comes closest and uncovering the number after they have all
guessed
Having a friend’s mother ask you to carry a glass of water
outside to hand to the friend’s father
Handing a plate with a piece of cake to 10 guests sitting
around a table
Mom calls the next door neighbor and says a piece of the
neighbor’s mail was accidentally delivered to her. Mom tells
the neighbor that the child with SM will be right over to bring
her the mail.
Showing a child a cabinet full of packages of snacks and
letting the child point to or otherwise select which snack he/she
would like the adult to pass out to a group of friends

24. Miscellaneous facts:
Selective Mutismand anxiety disorders do seem to have a
genetic link
MOST Selectively Mute children have at least one parent
with some formof anxiety disorder

25. So now can you tell
which one of us has Selective Mutism?

26. Did you guess
it was me?

27. Formore information,
contact my mom! Call Ann Sander at:
281-723-6572
Or email:
AnnsConsulting@yahoo.com