This document discusses developing resilience through emotional and cognitive awareness. It is a presentation on resilience by Shalini Bahl, a social entrepreneur and mindfulness consultant. The presentation covers what resilience is, how to develop it, and provides strategies to cultivate inner calm, emotional awareness, and cognitive awareness. It emphasizes breaking out of default thinking loops through the P.A.U.S.E. technique of pausing, acknowledging thoughts and feelings, uncovering assumptions, staying open, and exploring actions. The overall message is that resilience involves recognizing you are not your emotions or thoughts and learning to meet life's challenges with awareness.

1. Emotional & Cognitive
Awareness for
Confidence & Success
RESILIENCE
Shalini Bahl, Ph.D.
Social Entrepreneur &
Mindfulness Consultant

2. MILLION DOLLAR
BUSINESS IN FASHION

3. CA AND AWARD WINNING
RESEARCHER

4. THE SAME MIND MADE ME
WALK AWAY FROM ALL OF
THIS.
#POWEROFYOURMIND

5. WHEN YOU DON’T LOOK AT
YOUR MIND, IT CONTROLS YOU.
WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOUR
MIND, YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE
#POWEROFYOURMIND

6. PAUSE
How do you experience
failure and success?

7. ➤ Take a few breaths to create
space in mind, body and heart
➤ Use the suggested prompt to
start writing without worrying
about grammar, spellings, and
making sense
➤ Do not stop writing till the bell
rings. If nothing is coming up,
just keep writing, nothing is
coming up, till something comes
up.
FREESTYLE JOURNALING

8. Thinking about my failure, I am noticing
that…
➤ Body
➤ Feelings
➤ Thoughts

9. Thinking about my success, I am noticing
that…
➤ Body
➤ Feelings
➤ Thoughts

10. ➤Read what you wrote and discover any
words or phrases that are repeating or
stand out.
➤Are there any patterns in how you deal
with failure and success?

11. DISCOVERIES?

12. 2 0 1 7 . A L L R I G H T S
WWW.WEBSITE.COM
12
NEGATIVE*
THOUGHTS
➤ COMPARISON
➤ BELONGING
➤ CONTROL
70%
*Raj Raghunathan, Ph.D
MEET YOUR
INNER
CRITIC

13. We naturally pay much more attention to negative
than positive occurrences in our lives.
NEGATIVITY BIAS13

14. “In studies, men overestimate their abilities and
performance, and women underestimate both.
Their performances do not differ in quality.”
– Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
“Women attribute their success to working hard,
luck, and help from other people. Men will attribute
that – whatever success they have, that same success
– to their own core skills.”
– Sheryl Sandberg

15. WWW.WEBSITE.COM
Facts about
Failure
1. Failure distorts your perceptions -
makes your goals seem unattainable
2. Failure distorts perceptions of your
actual abilities
3. Most fears of failure are unconscious
4. Fear of failure often leads to
unconscious self-sabotaging
5. Fear of failure can be transmitted
from parents to children
6. The pressure to succeed increases
performance anxiety and causes
choking.
- Guy Winch Ph.D.

16. AGENDA
1. What is resilience
2. How to develop resilience
A. Inner calm
➤ Managing stress
B. Emotional awareness
➤ Befriend your emotions
C. Cognitive awareness
➤ Know your self-talk
3. Learn to P.A.U.S.E.
➤ The default loop
➤ The awareness loop

17. WHAT IS RESILIENCE?

18. RESILIENCE
“The ability to overcome stress and
maintain an effective level of
appropriate behavior or performance
when confronted by obstacles,
setbacks, distractions, hostile
conditions or aversive stimuli.”
Staal et al 2008

19. RESILIENCE
The ability to adapt to change and
adversity with ease.

20. KEY TO RESILIENCE

21. KEY TO RESILIENCE

22. KEY TO RESILIENCE
“The key to resilience is
trying really hard, then
stopping, recovering,
and then trying again.”
Achor & Gielan in HBR, 2016

23. KEY TO RESILIENCE
Awareness of self-
talk & emotions
related to success
and failure.
Dr. Seligman

24. Inner
Calm
Emotional
Resilience
Cognitive
Resilience
RESILIENCE
IN THREE
STEPS

25. INNER CALM
Manage Ongoing Stress

26. AMYGDALA HIJACK: EMOTIONS OVERTAKE THINKING
Amygdala
Prefrontal Cortex
➤ Immediate
➤ Disproportionate
emotional response
➤ Regret
➤ IQ drops 10-15 points
Executive Decision-Making
Emotions

27. INNER CALM PRACTICES
1. Mindfulness
A. Meditations - Simple Habit app
B. On the go - Mindful walking
2. Breaks
A. Internal - at work
B. External - beyond work
3. Gratitude Journal
4. Sensory Breaks - nature, eating, music
5. Social Support
A. Mentors
B. Team
C. Family & Friends
D. Community

28. EMOTIONAL
RESILIENCE
Awareness of emotions:
You are not your emotions

29. Success and
failure are
emotional
experiences.
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

30. Fear of failure
holds us back.
Pressure to
succeed creates
anxiety.
EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE

31. Emotions are
physiological
responses evoked
by perceived or
imagined stimuli.
WHAT IS AN EMOTION?

32. (Nummenmaa et al.2013)
EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
Recognize unconscious emotions in your body

33. EMOTIONAL AWARENESS:
YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS
EXISTENTIAL
“I am angry”
PHYSIOLOGICAL
“I experience anger in
my body”

34. COGNITIVE
RESILIENCE
Awareness of Self Talk:
How do you explain your
success and failure?

35. “Your way of explaining events to
yourself determines how helpless you
can become, or how energized, when
you encounter the everyday setbacks
as well as momentous defeats.
~Seligman, Martin E. in Learned Optimism:
How to Change Your Mind and Your Life
EXPLANATORY STYLE

36. EXPLANATORY STYLE: 3 P’S
Self-Talk Patterns:
1.Permanence
2.Pervasiveness
3.Personalization

37. PERMANENCE: ACROSS TIME
Pessimistic:
Permanent
It is always windy here!
Optimistic:
Specific & Temporary
It is windy today.

38. PERVASIVENESS: ACROSS CONTEXTS
Pessimistic:
Across all contexts
I can’t run coz I am not athletic.
Optimistic:
Specific Context
I can’t run cause I’ve not practiced it
enough.

39. PERSONALIZATION: OVERLY SELF-CRITICAL
Pessimistic:
Internalize
The client cancelled last minute because
he doesn't like me.
Optimistic:
External Reasons
The client cancelled last minute because
he is busy.

40. COGNITIVE AWARENESS:
YOU ARE NOT YOUR THOUGHTS
I am not good
enough!
I don’t have
to believe my
thoughts.

41. HOW TO
CULTIVATE
EMOTIONAL&
COGNITIVE
AWARENESS
Learn to P.A.U.S.E.

42. LEARN TO P.A.U.S.E.
I. Pause & breathe
II. Acknowledge
1.Body
2.Emotions
3.Self-Talk
III. Uncover
1. Underlying assumptions
2. Intentions & needs
3. Others’ perspectives
IV. Stay open to new perspectives
V. Explore most skillful and kind action

43. MAIN TAKEAWAYS
➤ Resilience training is cultivating
inner calm + emotional +
cognitive awareness
➤ Break the default loop with
awareness
➤ You are not your emotions
➤ You don’t have to believe your
thoughts
➤ Change negativity bias by
acknowledging success in your
body
➤ Key to resilience is
remembering to P.A.U.S.E.

44. When you pause to meet life with
awareness
You create a space –
To clearly see your thoughts and
feelings
To meet yourself and your deepest
desires
In this space there are endless
possibilities
And you get to choose what ideas to
act on
You are literally creating your life,
And you can do it with creativity, joy,
and ease.
#FearlessLeadership

45. DIFFERENT WAYS TO CONNECT WITH ME
➤ Email me: shalini@KnowYourMind.training
➤ For latest news on topics related to emotional intelligence like us on
Facebook:
➤ https://www.facebook.com/DowntownMindfulness/
➤ To read my blog posts: http://knowyourmind.training/blog/
➤ To view other slide decks: http://www.slideshare.net/ShaliniBahl
➤ Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shalinibahl
➤ Find my 5-minute meditation series on Simple Habit for:
1. Women’s resilience
2. Women at Work: Lead With Confidence
3. Self-Awareness
4. Procrastination
➤ or email me to get a direct ink to the above meditations.

46. ➤ https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/05/the-
confidence-gap/359815/
➤ Resilience Is About How You Recharge, Not How You Endure by
Achor & Gielan in HBR, 2016
➤ How to Evaluate, Manage, and Strengthen Your Resilience by David
Kopans in HBR 2016
➤ 5 Ways to Boost Your Resilience at Work by Rich Fernandez in HBR
2016
➤ What Resilience Means, and Why It Matters by Andrea Ovans in
HBR 2015
➤ The Failure-Tolerant Leader by Richard Farson & Ralph Keyes in
HBR 2002
REFERENCES

47. “If there is one skill that is
not stressed very much,
but is really needed, it is
knowing how to fail well…
So fail, fail again, fail
better.”
– Pema Chodron

48. “You may encounter
many defeats, but you
must not be defeated.
In fact, it may be
necessary to encounter
the defeats, so you can
know who you are,
what you can rise
from, how you can still
come out of it.”
– Maya Angelou, Poet, civil rights activist

49. “..some failure in life is
inevitable. It is
impossible to live
without failing at
something, unless you
live so cautiously that
you might as well not
have lived at all — in
which case, you fail by
default.”
- J.K. Rowling, Author

50. We need to accept that
we won’t always make
the right decisions, that
we’ll screw up royally
sometimes -
understanding that
failure is not the
opposite of success, it’s
part of success.”
- Arianna Huffington, co-founder
and editor-in-chief of The
Huffington Post