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Raising Kids in a Digital World - Oasis Youth Center 2016


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Presentation to the Project 13! group at Tacoma's Oasis Youth Center

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Raising Kids in a Digital World - Oasis Youth Center 2016

  1. 1. Raising Kids in a Digital World Holly Gerla & Sam Harris, Ethics 4 a Digital World Emily McMason, Evolving Parents
  2. 2. Who are you raising right now? What are your biggest concerns?
  3. 3. Brain Anatomy 101
  4. 4. The bestpart of parenting today is what we know from studying the brain.
  5. 5. It can also feel like the worst... 20% 80%
  6. 6. 20% 80% Our job for the next decade (or more) is to be their prefrontal cortex.
  7. 7. The issues: • Pre-frontal cortex isn’t fully online • The ‘brakes’ aren’t wired • The gas pedal is floored
  8. 8. The result: We spend a lot of time asking “what were you thinking?”. “I don’t know” is the response. They aren’t kidding. Because…they have “less control over impulsive behavior, less understanding of the consequences, and fewer tools to stop the behavior.” Neuroscientist Frances Jensen
  9. 9. The result: “...adolescents aren’t reckless because they underestimate risks, but rather because they overestimate rewards – something that can be partially attributed to the fact that the reward centers of the adolescent brain are much more active than those of children or adults.” Ellen Kate, everyday feminism
  10. 10. The solution: • Tell them short term consequences, not long term ramifications. They aren’t planners. It won’t hook them. • Shock & awe – give them the jolt to pay attention & memorize results. • Be their brakes through the rules you have.
  11. 11. access: What apps are your kids using? What are the age requirements for each one? • = 13 and * • = 14 • = 16 • = 17 • = 18, or 13-17 w/ parents’ permission.
  12. 12. LGBTQ Youth Online: • Project 13! • TrevorSpace ages 13 - 24 • Out Online: The Experiences of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth on the Internet (GLSEN, 2013) some key statistics... LGBT youth reported high rates of civic engagement online, including having taken part in an online community that supports a cause or issues (77%), gotten the word out about a cause or an issue (76%), written a blog post or posted comments on another blog about a cause or an issue (68%) and used the Internet to participate in or recruit people for an event or activity (51%) The overwhelming majority of LGBT youth in this study (68%) had engaged in volunteering as well as online/text-based civic activities in the past year. 50% of LGBT youth reported having at least one close online friend, compared to only 19% of non- LGBT youth 1 in 4 LGBT youth (29%) said they were more out online than in person LGBT youth were five times as likely as non-LGBT youth to have searched for information online on sexuality or sexual attraction as non-LGBT youth (62% vs. 12%) LGBT youth were nearly three times as likely as non- LGBT youth to say they had been bullied or harassed online (42% vs. 15%) and twice as likely to say they had been bullied via text message (27% vs 13%)
  13. 13. boundaries: For tweens & teens: • No computers, phones, iThings in bedrooms. • No texting / calling in the car. • Ideally, no screens 90-120 minutes before bed. • No (extra) media during homework. • Know all their passwords. • Follow & read their digital messages.
  14. 14. boundaries: Establish expectations early, but it’s never too late Contract examples: Common Sense Media ● media use guidelines for K-5, 6-9, 9-12 ● customizable device contract Jo Langford, MA ● teen guidelines (many specific to boys)
  15. 15. instead: • Weekday... first ___ / then___ expectations. • Weekend family (fun!) options: o Game nights. o Rural walks / hikes. o Reading times. o Urban outings. • Media literacy: consumption, creation, communication.
  17. 17. Why does media use matter? Because it has a huge impact on non-media aspects of life. • Attention: • see vs. watch and think • 20 second rule • Fire it to wire it
  18. 18. Why does media use matter? Sleep: • 10 hours until age 10, then 9.5 hours • Remember the nearly 9 & 6 hours of daily entertainment media? • Chronic missed sleep leads to: o depression o acne o aggressive behavior o cognitive problems o learning difficulties
  19. 19. Why does media use matter? Obesity: o sitting, and sitting in front of a screen or not the same. o Screen time messes with appetite. o Kids ate more meals on screen days o They ate more calories at each meal o They ate fewer veggies. o And they reported feeling less hungry before the meal
  20. 20. The biggest issues we see... ● Multitasking Myths ● Consumption vs. Creation ● Evaluation of Media for Personal Use
  21. 21. What’s actually going on in your brain? “Multitasking reduces your efficiency and performance because your brain can only focus on one thing at a time. When you try to do two things at once, your brain lacks the capacity to perform both tasks successfully.” (Forbes, 2015) Multitasking Myths
  22. 22. Consumption vs. Creation
  23. 23. Evaluation of Media S start with someone / something you trust L listen to your instincts O observe others around you. What are they doing? Why? W wisdom - journal your experiences, collect your own wisdom.
  24. 24. The Newest Research and Data ● AAP Guidelines: Media and Children (update coming Oct. 2016) ● Kids and Screen Time: A Peek at Upcoming Guidance (NPR 1/6/2016) ● How Teens Share Information on Social Media (PEW) ● Common Sense Media Census 2015 (Full Report) (Handy InfoGraphic) ● Common Sense Media Parent Concerns
  25. 25. More Resources/Links Browser add-ons or extensions: • AdBlock Plus • A Cleaner Internet • Simple Profanity Filter (for Chrome) • Ghostery (identify and block trackers) • Lightbeam (for Firefox) • Web of Trust Articles to Check Out: • The Complete Guide to Anonymous Apps • Top Social Networks & Apps Your Kids Use Whatever devices or networks you use, every family is slightly different. If you’re looking for other tools to help you manage equipment, wifi, devices, etc. try a Google search using “parental controls” in the search string. And check with your internet service provider (ISP) for what controls they have available for your in-home networks. Organizations to Follow: • Common Sense Media - (Facebook, Twitter) • Family Online Safety Institute - (Facebook, Twitter) • Pew Internet & American Life Project - (Facebook, Twitter) Adolescent Development: • Julie Metzger, RN, MN and Robert Lehman, MD, Great Conversations • Robin Wright, The Wright Conversations • Amy Lang, Birds + Bees + Kids • Jo Langford, Be Heroes • Sex, etc. (Rutgers University) Find even more links on our website. And “Like” us on Facebook or follow on Twitter for more current information. Thanks for attending our workshop! Sam and Holly - Ethics 4 a Digital World - (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest) Emily - evolving parents - (Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Instagram)
  26. 26. Books! • Bazelon, Emily - Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy • boyd, danah - It's Complicated: The Social Lives of Networked Teens • Damour, Lisa, PhD - Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood • Englander, Elizabeth - Bullying and Cyberbullying: What Every Educator Needs to Know • James, Carrie - Disconnected: Youth, New Media, and the Ethics Gap • Jensen, Frances E. MD - The Teenage Brain: A Neuroscientist's Survival Guide to Raising Adolescents and Young Adults • Steinberg, Laurence, PhD - Age of Opportunity: Lessons from the New Science of Adolescence • Wiseman, Rosalind - Masterminds & Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, and the New Rules of Boy World
  27. 27. Q&A