This document discusses factors that can contribute to the disruption of an adoption placement. It identifies potential issues with the adoptive parents, the adopted child, and the adoption system. It provides a checklist for professionals to use before a placement breaks down. Finally, it outlines strategies for supporting the child, adoption workers, adoptive parents, and siblings through the disruption process.
This presentation presents strategies on how to build healthy parent/child relationships, how to discipline effectively, how to maintain attachment during adolescence.
How to Deal with Stress in Children - Children can also experience stress and when it does not treated properly. It can cause disease physically, emotionally and mentally. So, how do you as a parent know the symptoms of stress in children? What caused it? What can be done to help the child out of stress?
This presentation presents strategies on how to build healthy parent/child relationships, how to discipline effectively, how to maintain attachment during adolescence.
How to Deal with Stress in Children - Children can also experience stress and when it does not treated properly. It can cause disease physically, emotionally and mentally. So, how do you as a parent know the symptoms of stress in children? What caused it? What can be done to help the child out of stress?
The presentation is about stress and anxiety.
As we know children are now fighting with so many stress and anxiety because of many reasons,
we have to take some big steps towards this matter.
April 3, 2014-Trauma in Young Children Under 4-Years of Age: Attachment, Neur...MFLNFamilyDevelopmnt
The PowerPoint presentation for a 2 hour webinar exploring how young children are particularly vulnerable to the effects of trauma, especially when their relationships with their caregivers are affected. (Find the live recording of this webinar @ https://learn.extension.org/events/1416) This presentation examines the characteristics of trauma in young children who are 4-years of age and younger, formal diagnostic criteria as well as other signs and symptoms of trauma, the neurobiological underpinnings of traumatic experiences for children, and evidence-based interventions that may be useful for remediating the effects of trauma for young children and their families.
As a Parent
- Frustrated from kids not listening?
- Tired from yelling at the people you love the most?
- Exhausted from feeling everything being a battle?
Being a parent is one of the most challenging roles we will ever have in our lives and unfortunately our contemporary society gives absolutely no training on how to be a good parent. We all love our kids but from my experience the ABC’s of parenting which are the love, common sense and natural instinct were not enough for me to help me raise my kids in a way that was serving them.
Learning the EFG’s of Parenting helped me transform my life and the lives of parents who learn them.
The Explosive Child: Summary CPS by Dr. Ross GreeneKathy Gregory
This presentation is meant to summarize Dr. Ross Greene's book, "The Explosive Child". None of this work is original to me, all of this work is from the work of Dr Ross Greene.
The presentation is about stress and anxiety.
As we know children are now fighting with so many stress and anxiety because of many reasons,
we have to take some big steps towards this matter.
April 3, 2014-Trauma in Young Children Under 4-Years of Age: Attachment, Neur...MFLNFamilyDevelopmnt
The PowerPoint presentation for a 2 hour webinar exploring how young children are particularly vulnerable to the effects of trauma, especially when their relationships with their caregivers are affected. (Find the live recording of this webinar @ https://learn.extension.org/events/1416) This presentation examines the characteristics of trauma in young children who are 4-years of age and younger, formal diagnostic criteria as well as other signs and symptoms of trauma, the neurobiological underpinnings of traumatic experiences for children, and evidence-based interventions that may be useful for remediating the effects of trauma for young children and their families.
As a Parent
- Frustrated from kids not listening?
- Tired from yelling at the people you love the most?
- Exhausted from feeling everything being a battle?
Being a parent is one of the most challenging roles we will ever have in our lives and unfortunately our contemporary society gives absolutely no training on how to be a good parent. We all love our kids but from my experience the ABC’s of parenting which are the love, common sense and natural instinct were not enough for me to help me raise my kids in a way that was serving them.
Learning the EFG’s of Parenting helped me transform my life and the lives of parents who learn them.
The Explosive Child: Summary CPS by Dr. Ross GreeneKathy Gregory
This presentation is meant to summarize Dr. Ross Greene's book, "The Explosive Child". None of this work is original to me, all of this work is from the work of Dr Ross Greene.
Powerpoint parenting plans for children with special needsBrenda McCreight
Children who have special needs require specialized parenting plans that reflect the child's unique capacity to make transitions, to have health care needs met, and to have therapeutic services provided in each home.
In this video, we're going to unveil the dark reality of emotional and covert incest. This is a topic that is taboo, but it needs to be talked about.
As a society, we need to start addressing this issue head on. There are people out there who are suffering due to the secrecy and emotional manipulation that is perpetuated in relationships with an incestuous nature. In this video, I'm going to share my story and the story of some of the victims of emotional and covert incest.
Let's start the conversation about emotional and covert incest and help victims of this situation find the courage they need to come forward and seek help.
In this video, we're going to unveil the dark reality of emotional and covert incest. This is a topic that is taboo, but it needs to be talked about.
As a society, we need to start addressing this issue head on. There are people out there who are suffering due to the secrecy and emotional manipulation that is perpetuated in relationships with an incestuous nature. In this video, I'm going to share my story and the story of some of the victims of emotional and covert incest.
Let's start the conversation about emotional and covert incest and help victims of this situation find the courage they need to come forward and seek help.
This poster depicts the parenting book by Dr. Thomas Gordon, P. E. T. Parent Effectiveness Training. It gives a summary of the book, as well as provides recommendations to future parents.
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This tranining has been created based on the New start training from Early Steps (State Early Intervention Program) to educate providers of children with special needs and community about respect and how is the life of family of a child or children with special needs.
The crisis of adoption disruption and dissolutionWezet-Botes
This presentation was done in 2010 at the Child welfare Tshwane Adoption Conderence. it focus on the concerns and experiences of adoptive placements that are not doing well and are at risk of collapsing. Suggestions are made about how to render services to families that are going through the desision to dissolve the adoption.
Creating A Positive Parenting EnvironmentJoan Young
This presentation was for foster parents at a recent training. It has valuable information for any parent looking to re-frame the challenges of parenting in order to feel more effective.
Tampa Jewish Family Services presents the emotional dynamics that parents/caregivers of children with special needs experience. Coping Skills, Tips for Professionals, and online resources included.
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With the wide ranging and ever changing mood disorders that humans are faced with, it has never been more important to shed as much light as possible on the impact this is having and how we can help support and improve the road ahead for those affected.
Postpartum depression is one of these mood disorders that affects 1 out of 7 moms and 1 out of 10 partners/dads.
When symptoms related to “baby blues” such as excessive tiredness, sadness, irritability, and anxiety last longer than 2 weeks, this is a red flag for the onset of PPD.
It is where bringing awareness to these long lasting feelings can help reduce the severity, shorten the longevity of the symptoms, and incorporate a support system to bring back the life you were meant to live.
As the months of May and June are recently behind us, we need to reflect on the significance those months had for women and men.
May is the month for women’s mental health while June is that for men. These months help bring awareness to mental health for mothers and fathers and the mood disorders that encompass the journey of becoming a parent.
Understanding Postpartum Depression for Partners
PPD in partners may look similar to that in moms and may be completely different. Every case is unique, yet just as important in understanding, addressing, and finding support.
This is the definition of PPD when searched on Google, according to the Oxford Language,
“depression suffered by a mother following childbirth, typically arising from the combination of hormonal changes, psychological adjustment to motherhood, and fatigue.”
While attention should be focused on moms as they have gone through a life changing event with their body, notice there is no mention of partners/fathers in this explanation.
Let’s adopt the “leave no man behind” mentality and include partners and fathers as being potential candidates for PPD as well!
Here are common symptoms of PPD in partners:
Anger and irritability
A negative change in diet
Loss of identity
Lack of energy
Disinterest in activities or hobbies
Social withdrawal or isolation
Disconnect from baby and mom
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Previous history of mood disorders
Mom is experiencing PPD
Financial stress
Health issues with baby
Weak support system
Lack of knowledge and self-awareness
The Impact of Postpartum Depression
PPD is a mental health condition that like other health conditions if left untreated can create a very difficult road to recovery, uncomfortable living conditions, strained relationships, and potentially longer lasting symptoms.
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http://sandymillin.wordpress.com/iateflwebinar2024
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2. Big hopes….
We all begin a new adoptive placement with high hopes that a “forever”
family has been created. Yet, about 15% to 25% of adoptive families find
their dreams are shattered as they realize that despite everyone’s best
efforts, the adoption isn’t going to work.
3. An adoption break down is heartbreaking for all involved - the social
workers who placed the child, the therapist who tried to resolve the issues
with the family, the parents who thought they were up to the task of
parenting this child or youth, and most of all, for the child or youth who is
once again embraced by rejection and loss.
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series
4. FACTORS IN ADOPTION DISRUPTION
Adoptive parent factors:
The adoptive parents were undertrained and unprepared for the behavioural challenges
presented by the child.
The adoptive parents had a weak or non-existent support system.
The adoptive parents were not equally parenting the child or were not equally committed to
the child.
The child’s history of trauma too closely matches the parent’s trauma history
The adoptive parents have unrealistic expectations of how the child should behave or how
quickly they would feel like a ‘real’ family
Unresolved grief or depression in the parent’s own lives
Too many other challenges ie aging parents, unemployment, other acting out children
The rules were inflexible and the family was too rule bound
The parents thought that only the child/youth had to change
The parents became overwhelmed by unexpected needs of the child and could not access
services
The parents had stated in the home study that they could not manage a child with the
behaviours that their child is now presenting
5. CHILD FACTORS
The child was under-prepared for the adoption
The child exhibited chronic lying and stealing and unrelenting oppositional
behaviours that overwhelmed the family
The child had suicidal ideation or suicide attempts or was presenting other
forms of self injurious behaviours that overwhelmed the family
The child had divided loyalties to either the birth family or the foster
family prevent attachment
Sexual acting out or physical violence by the child
The child has unresolved or unidentified grief or untreated depression that
prevents attachment
The child had previously undiagnosed conditions such FASD or
schizophrenia that the parents had clearly stated in the home study that
they could not manage
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series
6. System Factors
The system did not provide appropriate and effective
support/counselling
The system did not provide appropriate and effective
support long enough
The system did not accurately assess the extent of the
child’s needs prior to placement
The system did not protect the adoptive family from
placement sabotage by the birth family or the foster family
The system did not accurately know the extent of the
parent’s capacities and limitations prior to placement
Brenda McCreight workshop series
7. Pre-breakdown check list
Have all possible/interventions/supports/resources been
utilized or offered? Were all of these adoption specialized?
Has there been a team consult?
Has there been a consultation with a neutral expert
Have other resources available to the adoption worker
been utilized?
Has adequate and regular respite been offered and
utilized?
8. Has the family been adequately educated about the needs
and abilities of the child? Can that be provided now?
Can the family come out of crisis mode?
Have marital issues been addressed?
Have sibling issues been addressed?
Have the adoptive parents and the child been assessed for
depression?
9. Is policy interfering with potential for sustaining the
family in the long run?
What is the attitude of the professionals involved? Are
they contributing to the breakdown?
10. After Care
Everyone involved has to find a way to get on with their
lives after an adoption breakdown.
Grief, self blame, guilt, other blame, are all common
and can lead to anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and
other secondary problems.
11. Often the decision to disrupt follows a long process in which many
attempts have been made to help the family succeed.
By the time the decision is made to end the placement, the parents, the
child, and the adoption workers, are generally feeling a range of emotions
such as:
• anger
• depression
• loss
• grief
• frustration
• hopelessness
• despair
• self loathing
12. All of these need to be addressed and while they won’t necessarily be
resolved, they can be at least be reduced so that the people involved can
move on with their lives in way that allows for eventual healing.
13. Strategies for the child
Let the child determine what kind of contact he wants
to have with the adoptive family and balance that with
what is reasonable and safe.
The social worker has to stay in charge of this, but the
decisions about post disruption contact should be based
on the child’s expressed wishes whenever reasonable
and possible.
The worker should take full responsibility “I made a
mistake and picked the wrong family for you”
14. Acknowledge the child’s feelings, and equally important for the adults in
the situation not to project their own feelings on the child.
For example, one therapist told a child how angry she was at the adoptive
parents for not working harder to keep him. My question was whether the
child was ready to deal with yet another adult’s feelings about his life. Its
fine to let the child know the adults care and they are disappointed with
the outcome, but it’s not okay to put the child in a position of thinking he
has to appear unscathed so that the social worker and foster parents and
therapists don’t feel badly.
Teach the child the words that are associated with this experience. Words
such as disruption, attachment, loss, break down, and dissolution become
tools the child can use to understand that this happens to other kids too.
The worker can use these words to help the child re-frame the
experiencing the breakdown as a failure to experiencing it as a
transition.
15. Help the child understand that this isn’t the end of his adoption planning.
In fact, the child should understand that this was a process in his life that
has provided new information on what the adoption worker can look for in
the next family.
One couple that I know has adopted five children from disrupted
placements. Two of the children were in their previous adoptive families
for several years before the adoption broke down. All five of these
children have done very well in this family. There are many reasons for
the success but one common thread is that issues were addressed early on
and the children were given hope that the ‘right’ family would be found
for them.
16. Adoption worker healing
An adoption breakdown has a huge impact on adoption
workers.
Many feel they have failed the child and so are afraid to
place him with yet another family.
Others become hesitant to do home studies because they
feel they must have missed something significant.
Many workers start to succumb to stress and depression and
they isolate themselves from their team.
Some even leave the profession.
It’s important that the workers and the therapists involved
find support for themselves and deal with whatever issues
they have so that they can continue to be involved with
finding the child a new family. After all, the child has
already lost his hoped for family, he doesn’t need to lose
his professional care team as well.
17. The worker needs to consult with others to assess what
went wrong, what went right, and possible alternatives
that may have been useful in the process
The worker should monitor him/her self for depression
The worker should take some updated training to re-
energize
The worker should access and use support
18. Adoptive parents healing
The adoptive parents, while often blamed and even shunned by
the professionals, are usually devastated and they require and
deserve support.
The parents need an opportunity to express the loss, the anger,
and the general trauma that they experienced and to find ways to
learn from the disruption.
They may be facing marital strain as a result of the break down or
they may have work related problems as they take time off and
find it hard to concentrate or to face people.
They also need help dealing with the other children who are still in
the home and who will have their own complex feelings to resolve.
Maintaining open and non-judgmental communication with the
adoptive parents will help them understand that they can
contribute crucial information that can help make the child’s next
placement successful
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series
19. Sibling healing
There are often other children in the home who will
remain with the family.
They will experience the same confusion of feelings –
self blame, other blame, depression, fear etc that
everyone else is feeling.
Get them help and support to acknowledge how this has
impacted their lives.
20. An adoption disruption is, for some children, part of the process that will
lead them to the adoptive family that is the right match for them.
It is not the end of the line for the child. Most children can go on to be
successfully placed in a “forever family” as long as the workers and
therapists involved continue to have faith in the process and believe in
the child’s right to permanence.
21. Brenda’s books at
Amazon.com Parenting Your Adopted
Older Child
Family Matters: How To
Strengthen Your Family Without
Paying For Therapy or Changing
Your Lives
22. Help – I’ve Been Adopted
Healing From Hazardous
Parenting: How To Fix Yourself
When You Can’t Fix Your Kid
23. Thank you for sharing this
time with me
You can check out other services and products at these sites:
http://www.lifespanmediation.org
http://www.theadoptioncounselor.com
http://www.hazardousparenting.com
The Hazardous Parenting facebook site
Udemy.com (search under Brenda McCreight)
Slideshare.com (search under Brenda McCreight)
Amazon.com (search under Brenda McCreight)
brendamccreight@gmail.com
Brenda provides counselling and parent coaching worldwide via
skype, telephone, and email – please contact her by email if you
would like to book an appointment. 250-716-9101 or
brenda@lifespanmediation.org