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IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILD DEVELOPMENT
Treatise Report Submitted as a Part of the Curriculum of Masters of Art
(Counselling Psychology)
Submitted by:
Submitted to:
Anvi Grover Dr
Priyanka Tiwari
Enrolment no.: A1503314028
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
I would like to thank all people who have helped and inspired me during my
treatise project preparation. My special thanks to Prof. Abha Singh, Director,
Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences.
I especially want to thank my Research Guide , Dr. Priyanka Tiwari for her
guidance during my treatise. Her perpetual energy and enthusiasm in research had
motivated me. I was delighted to interact with Priyanka ma’am by seeking her
help and guidance from time to time and for giving me useful suggestions and
pointing out weaknesses in organization which helped me to refine my research
work.
I would like to thank all the researchers who contributed to the field and the
number of people for their assistance with this project and field work. My
gratitude goes to all of those who have helped me within such a short period of
time. Without their help my treatise report would be incomplete
I am grateful to Dr Priyanka Tiwari , for having faith and securing feedback.
Lastly I would like to extend a heartfelt gratitude to my family, and friends who
have been a constant source of support and encouragement
Name :Anvi Grover
Enrolment no: A150314028
MA in Counselling Psychology
Semester - 3
CERTIFICATE
This is to certify that the seminar titled ‘ImpactofDivorce onChild Development
‘: A review’ by Anvi Grover was conducted under my supervision and it
constitutes of her original work.
Signature
Dr Priyanka Tiwari
Supervisor
Amity Institute of Psychology And Allied Sciences,
Amity University, Noida
2015
DECLARATION
I, Anvi Grover , have selected a study topic Impact of Divorce on Child
Development and its components for my Treatise study report as a part of my
curriculum of Master of Arts (M.A.) in Counselling Psychology under the
supervision of Dr.Priyanka Tiwari, AIPS, AMITY UNIVERSITY,UTTAR
PRADESH. This piece of work is not a replacement of any previous study to the
best of knowledge. I have followed the NTCC guidelines for the completion of
this study.
Anvi Grover
M.A. Counselling Psychology (2014-16)
Enrolment no. A1503314028
AIPS, AUUP, Noida
CONTENTS
Title
Introduction
Aim
Objective
Review of Literature
Discussion&Conclusion
Key Learning
References
Introduction:
Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boyor girl no matter
what the age. Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break
their marriage commitment, adjusting to going back and forth between two
different households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the
other, all create a challenging new family circumstance in which to live. In the
personal history of the boy or girl, parental divorce is a watershed event. Life
that follows is significantly changed from how life was before.
Somewhat different responses to this painful turn of events occurif the boy or
girl is still in childhood or has entered adolescence. Basically, divorce tends to
intensify the child's dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent's
independence; it often elicits a more regressive responsein the child and a more
aggressive response in the adolescent. Consider why this variation may be so.
The child's world is a dependent one, closely connected to parents who are
favoured companions, heavily reliant on parental care, with family the major
locus of one's social life. The adolescent world is a more independent one, more
separated and distant from parents, more self-sufficient, where friends have
become favoured companions, and where the major locus of one's social life
now extends outside of family into a larger world of life experience.
For the young child, divorce shakes trust in dependency on parents who now
behave in an extremely undependable way. They surgically divide the family
unit into two different households between which the child must learn to transit
back and forth, for a while creating unfamiliarity, instability, and insecurity,
never being able to be with one parent without having to be apart from the
other.
Convincing a young child of the permanence of divorce can be hard when his
intense longing fantasizes that somehow, some way, mom and dad will be living
back together again someday. He relies on wishful thinking to help allay the
pain of loss, holding onto hope for a parental reunion much longer than does the
adolescent who is quicker to accept the finality of this unwelcome family
change. Thus parents who put in a joint presence at special family celebrations
and holiday events to recreate family closeness for the child only feed the
child's fantasy and delay his adjustment.
The dependent child's short term reaction to divorce can be an anxious one. So
much is different, new, unpredictable, and unknown that life becomes filled
with scary questions? "What is going to happen to next?" "Who will take care of
me?" "If my parents can lose for each other, can they lose love for me?" "With
one parent moving out, what if I lose the other too?" Answering such worry
questions with worst fears, the child's responsecan be regressive.
By reverting to a former way of functioning, more parental care-taking may be
forthcoming. There can be separation anxieties, crying at bed times, breaking
toilet training, bed-wetting, clinging, whining, tantrums, and temporary loss of
established self-care skills, all of which can compelparental attention.
The child wants to feel more connected in a family situation where a major
disconnection has occurred. Regression to earlier dependency can partly be an
effort to elicit parental concern, bringing them close when divorce has pulled
each of them further away - the resident parent now busier and more
preoccupied, the absent parent simply less available because of being less
around.
The more independent-minded adolescent tends to deal more aggressively to
divorce, often reacting in a mad, rebellious way, more resolved to disregard
family discipline and take care of himself since parents have failed to keep
commitments to family that were originally made.
Where the child may have tried to get parents back, the adolescent may try to
get back at parents. Where the child felt grief, the adolescence has a grievance.
"If they can't be trusted to stay together and take care of the family, then I need
to start relying more on myself." "If they can break their marriage and put
themselves first, then I can put myself first too." "If they don'tmind hurting me,
then I can I don'tmind hurting them."
Now the adolescent can act aggressively to take control of his life by behaving
even more distantly and defiantly, more determined to live his life his way,
more dedicated to his self-interest than before. He feels increasingly
autonomous in a family situation that feels disconnected. He now feels more
impelled and entitled to act on his own.
For the parent who divorces with an adolescent, the young person's increased
dedication to self-interest must be harnessed by insisting on increased
responsibility as more separation and independence from family occurs.
For the parent who divorces with a child, the priority is establishing a sense of
family order and predictability. This means observing the three R's required to
restore a child's trust in security, familiarity, and dependency - Routines,
Rituals, and Reassurance.
Thus parents establish household and visitation Routines so the child knows
what to expect. They allow the child to create Rituals to feel more in control of
her life. And they provide continual Reassurance that the parents are as lovingly
connected to the child as ever, and are committed to the making this new family
arrangement work.
Family organization is very critical; a separation in a family unit requires
restoration. There are many changes that will occurdue to divorce. Children
never want to see their parents get divorced because sometimes they may feel as
if they are going to be neglected. Most of the time in divorces, kids normally
end up living with one parent. Sometimes a child may feel as if their parents are
divorcing them too, they feel more neglected because of the turmoil. In today’s
world 50% of kids are growing up in single parent homes. Children need their
parents so they can have role models to learn from. When a child and parent
bond is broken negative things begin to happen in children lives.
A divorce is always a devastating situation but when it involves children it
makes the situation worse. Kids always receive the worst end of the deal when
parents decide to divorce. Most kids feel that it was something that they have
done to cause their parents to part. Many kids believe if they had acted better,
made better grades, helped more with chores, the divorce could have been
prevented. That is not true parents’ divorce for many reasons but kids are never
the reason. When parents decide they are going to divorce both should be
present to tell the child. Parents should thoroughly explain it is nothing that the
child has done and, there is nothing they can do to fix it.
A child should always know that both parents love them and nothing can
change that. It is good for parents to explain that the love that was between them
as a couple is nothing like the love and bond that is formed with them. Children
need to have that reinforcement that the love you have for them will last
forever. It is also good for parents to tell their kids that it is okay to love them
both. Most of time in a divorce, kids’ feel they have to take sides and love one
parent more than the other. Children feel that if they do not then one parent may
not love them as much as the other.
Making children’s lives as easy as possible will sometimes minimize the
sadness the child will have. When parents get divorced it is very essential for a
child to know how their lives will change. Children should not be exposed to a
drastic change. Some things should remain the same such as going to the same
school, friends, and social activities. Parents should always let their children
know that either parent can be talked to if they are having any types of
problems. A child needs a relationship with both parents so they can have that
sense of security. Even though a marriage may not have worked that does not
mean that you cannot be a successfulparent.
Keeping the communication line open with children also helps your child to
copewith the divorce. Children sometimes feel as if they cannot go to their
parents and express how they feel. Some children respond to their parents’
divorce by not showing their emotions towards the situation. Encourage your
child to express their feelings whether its anger, sadness orany other concerns
they may have.
Many kids deal with their parents divorces in different ways. Even though the
parents are going through turmoil, the support of your children should be
number one. Sometimes the behavior in kids changes drastically. Children
sometimes have problems with sleeping. They may wake up constantly in the
middle of the night or have night mares. Some kids start having trouble paying
attention in schoolwhich results in poorgrades. Children trying to copemay
turn to alcohol, tobacco, taking unneeded medications, or trying to experiment
with household products. Somekids may turn to self injury or have thoughts of
committing suicide. Children sometimes feel they have to take all the problems
on their shoulders.
Letting your kids have outside supportfrom family members, close family
friends, teachers, and counselors can sometimes help with this process. Children
may feel anger towards both parents for wanting to separate, but that is
common. Having an outside source can sometimes help them open up to
express feelings. Children tend to show more aggression towards their parents
during divorce. Letting your kids know that you will always be there no matter
how angry they get with you will help put your child’s mind at ease.
Showing your children that you can be cordial even though you are divorced
can help. Minimize the disputes you may have while you are in the presence of
your kids. Kids tend to take the situation better when parents can talk without
arguing, which gives them some sense of relief. A child should never hear the
arguments of your divorce they have enough on their shoulders and mind with
the changes that will occur. The least parents can do is act in the best interest of
the child and not belittle each other.
Parents should still be that role model for their kids to look up to. As a parent
they should discipline their kids. Even though a divorce is a rough time certain
behavior should not be tolerated. If you let your child grades fall, behave
poorly, or throw temper tantrums it makes them feel as if they are entitled to
these actions becauseof what is going on. As parents you need to agree upon
how the discipline is going to be handled. There should be an agreement upon
how both of the parents are going to handle discipline problems. Parents should
not pity their kids due their divorce they need to let their kids know they will
still be disciplined.
A divorce has a real effect on some children even up until they are adults. Many
adults are troubled becauseof what happened in their childhood. That is not a
good thing because now it causes them to think that it is destined for their
marriage to fail. In some cases people who had a divorce in their families tend
to drink and smoke more than the average. This can cause a major problem if
they can’t resolve the problem and know that it is up to them whether their
marriage succeeds orfails.
Today’s generation in society seems to look at divorce as something that is
normal. Kids today see divorce as something that typically happens in a family.
It seems as if couples are not taking their marriages seriously. Couples are
getting married at an early age and not getting the chance to know each other
before making the comment to become one. In earlier times it had to be a
proven fact in order for a couple to divorce. In today’s society it’s much easier
to get a divorce which results in so many single parents.
It’s not impossible to raise a child being a single parent but it’s more
challenging. Families that had kids that were well off seen their income dropped
50% because of divorce. Many parents that are going through divorce end up
moving into a lower class society because of the decreased of income. Many
marriages fail because some couples are trying to live far above their means of
income. When money mentioned in a marriage a lot of issues come up, one
partner feel as if they are contributing more than the other.
There was a study that was done among young adults whose parents had
divorced. In this survey 73% of them said they would be different people if their
parents did not divorce. In this study it also showed that 51% said they would
have been different if they had their fathers. Furthermore 18% of people are
afraid that they will follow in their parent’s footsteps. Thesestatistics are true in
many ways a divorce has a lifelong affect on children because it sticks in their
minds. When most kids grow up they try not to be like their parents but it is
hard not to becausethey were their role models that they looked up to.
In today’s society couples need to really look into why they are getting married.
We are not in the modern society where its pressure for you to get married. We
all have choices before deciding to make that big step into commitment. There
is more to marriage than just saying you love someone and jumping to get
married. Getting married and having kids is very sacred you should want to
bring your kids up without both parents.
Family is the basic building structure that forms society. This structure is
becoming weaker as the years go on. Society no longer looks at reaching that
goal of becoming the American family having the marriage, kids, a dog, and a
Pickett fence. Everyone is bailing out and getting divorces instead of trying to
see if things will work out. It seems as if today’s society is no longer looking at
how couples are being viewed they are trying to take the easy way out. It is
poignant that in this day and age it is very rare to find a young couple that has
not experienced divorce.
Divorce is having a tremendous impact becausenow kids are not being
considered. Couples are not worrying about how their kids are going to cope
without having both parents. Most parents are taking on the role of being a
single mother or father and not worrying about the consequences. Many kids are
not having fun childhoods because of the amount of responsibility they have to
take on living with a single parent. Many parents work hard so therefore their
kids have to learn how to manage on their own.
When parents decide to divorce or separate, their child or children are faced
with multiple stressors. Justknowing that things are going to be different after a
divorce, but not knowing exactly how can be frightening or cause fears for most
children. Children from divorced families have to learn to copewith the many
changes in their family. The amount of contact with one parent, often their
father, will be reduced. Children may have to move from their family home or
change schools. Schoolwork may suffer or schoolavoidance may develop.
They may have a decreased standard of living. They may have to live in two
homes. They may have more responsibility placed on them. The custodial
parent may be physically and psychologically less available for children due to
increased demands. Often, children initially focus on these immediate negative
effects of the family breaking up, and do not find comfort in knowing that other
families that have divorced eventually do okay.
Adjustment to divorce can take up to two years or even longer. Many children
will adjust to their parents' divorce, but some will continue to have significant
problems into adulthood. Parents' sensitivity to their child's needs is one of the
most important factors in facilitating adjustment. Other factors such as the
child's age, gender and temperament will also influence how well the child
adjusts.
A preschooler's reaction to and ability to understand their parents' divorce will
be very different from that of an adolescent. A child's beliefs about divorce will
change over time due to their cognitive maturity and evolving relationships with
their parents. Awareness and sensitivity to the developmental differences in
children's reaction to divorce can provide parents with insight in how to talk to
their children to help in their adjustment.
Because of their limited cognitive abilities, preschoolers are often baffled by
their parents divorce. They lack the coping skills necessary to deal with all the
changes associated with divorce, which place them at risk of having more
adjustment problems than an older child. Children tend to be egocentric at this
age, and will often blame themselves for the divorce. They may feel that it is
their responsibility to bring their parents back together.
Preschoolers tend to be "emotionally needy," have fears related to
abandonment, and may display acting-out behaviors following their parents'
divorce or separation. Preschooler are likely to becomevery distressed during
visit exchanges.
Although children between the ages of about 6 to 8 continue to have fantasies
about reconciling their parents, they are less likely to blame themselves for the
divorce. Children at this age have been found to experience intense grief over
the loss of not having one of their parents living with them. The older child
(ages 9 to 12) is better able to understand their parents' divorce. They are likely
to consciously express their disapprovaland tend to take the side of one of their
parents. Anger at their parents is conscious.
Adolescents' ability to understand and conceptualize their parents divorce will
enhance their adjustment. However, they are faced with the task of integrating
the divorce experience with their own developing identities.
Boys and girls tend to react differently to their parents' divorce. As a rule, girls
tend to become anxious and withdrawn, while boys tend to become more
aggressive and disobedient. Girls from divorced families may become sexually
active earlier than girls from intact families. Interestingly, boys often adjust
better when their mothers remarry, while girls have more difficulty.
Children of divorced families tend to have long-term adjustment difficulties
when there is ongoing conflict between their parents. Boys, in particular, are
likely to display marked behavior problems when this exists. Children's
adjustment is also determined by the amount of conflict the parents had before
the divorce.
Researchers have found that children in divorced families, where there is little
conflict following the divorce, do not differ in adjustment than children from
low conflict intact families.
A child's relationship with his or her parents following a divorce is critical to the
child's adjustment. Although the distress of not being with both parents is one of
the most painful parts of divorce, it is the continuing relationship that children
have with their parents that is essential to their long-term adjustment. This
highlights the importance of not criticizing the other parent in front of the child.
Children from divorced families do best when visits from the non-custodial
parent are regular, predictable, and occurin a “conflict-free” setting. The quality
of the relationship is more important than the quantity. If frequent contactoccur
in undesirable circumstances, the child is likely to have adjustment problems. A
child’s adjustment is facilitated if the custodial parent is warm, understanding,
nurturing, and demonstrates good parenting skills.
If the child's parents have difficulty coping with stress, the child's adjustment
will be at risk, especially if the child has a 'difficult' temperament. A child with
such a temperament will have significant problems coping when faced with
disruptions in routine and when their parents experience increased stress and
demands. These children may becomemore difficult to manage after the
divorce. A child's adjustment to divorce will be quicker when fewer disruptions
are caused by the divorce and when an established routine is achieved.
Unfortunately, a practical change that often happens with divorce is a reduce in
standard of living. This may cause the custodial parent to be overwhelmed, and
unable to meet the needs of the child.
Typical Reactions ofChildren to Divorce
Much of children's post-divorceadjustment is dependent on (1) the quality of
their relationship with each parent before the divorce, (2) the intensity and
duration of the parental conflict, and (3) the parents' ability to focus on the
needs of the children in the divorce. Typically, children whose parents are going
through a rough divorce engage in behaviors which are designed to help them
feel secure. What follows are some typical experiences of children to divorce
and separation:
A. DENIAL
This especially occurs in young children and surfaces as story telling (Mommy
and Daddy and me going to Disneyland; we're moving into a duplex and Daddy
will live next door;they will also have reconciliation fantasies).
B. ABANDONMENT
When parents separate, children worry who will take care of them. They are
afraid they too are divorceable and will be abandoned by one or both of their
parents. This problem is worsened by one or bothparents taking the children
into their confidence, talking about the other parent in front of the children,
using language like "Daddy is divorcing us," being late for pick-up, or
abducting the children. Children who are feeling insecure will say things to a
parent which is intended to evoke a mama bear/papa bear response(a
demonstration of protectiveness). If children do not have "permission" to have a
good relationship with the other parent, or if they think they need to "take care
of" one of their parents in the divorce, they are likely to end up having feelings
of divided loyalties between their parents or, in the extreme, they may become
triangulated with one parent against the other parent.
C. PREOCCUPATION WITHINFORMATION
Children will want details of what is happening and how it affects them.
Communication from the parents needs to be unified and age appropriate.
D. ANGER AND HOSTILITY
Children may express anger and hostility with peers, siblings, or parents. School
performance may be impaired. Hostility of children toward parents is often
directed at the parent perceived to be at fault. Hostility turned inward looks like
depression in children.
E. DEPRESSION
Lethargy, sleep and eating disturbances, acting out, social withdrawal, physical
injury (more common in adolescents).
F. IMMATURITY/HYPERMATURITY
Children may regress to an earlier developmental stage when they felt assured
of both parents' love. They may do some "baby-talk" or wet their beds. Children
may become "parentified" by what they perceive to be the emotional and
physical needs of their parents ("Someone needs to be in charge here.")
G. PREOCCUPATION WITHRECONCILIATION
The more conflict there is between the parents, the longer children hold onto the
notion of their parents' reconciliation. It is clear that the parents are not "getting
on" with their lives. Children will often act out in ways which force their
parents to interact (negatively or positively). Children whose parents were very
conflictual during the marriage often mistake the strong emotions of conflict
with intimacy. They see the parents as engaged in an intimate relationship.
H. BLAME AND GUILT
Because so much marital conflict may be related to the stress of parenting,
children often feel responsible for their parents' divorce--they feel that somehow
their behavior contributed to it. This is especially true when parents fight during
exchanges of the children or in negotiating schedules: children see that parents
are fighting over them. They may try to bargain their parents back together by
promises of good behavior; they may have difficulty with transitions or refuse
to go with the other parent.
I. ACTING OUT
Children will often act out their own and their parents' anger. In an attempt to
survive in a hostile environment, children will often take the side of the parent
they are presently with. This may manifest in refusals to talk to the other parent
on the phone or reluctance to share time with the other parent. Adolescents will
typically act out in ways similar to how the parents are acting out.
In summary, expect that children will test a parent's loyalty, experience loyalty
binds, not want to hurt either parent, force parents to interact because they don't
want the divorce, try to exert some power in the situation, express anger over
the divorce, occasionally refuse to go with the other parent (normal divorce
stress, loyalty conflict/triangulation, or they may simply not want to stop doing
what they're doing at the moment--similar to the reaction we've all gotten when
we pick our children up from child care, or we want to go home from the park).
The most common problem which arise tend to stem from triangulation, divided
loyalties, and projection. Some indicators of each are:
a. Triangulation: Child refuses to have time with the other parent or talk to the
other parent on the phone, child badmouths the other parent.
b. Divided loyalties: When a child tells each parent different and opposing
things about what they want it is a good indication that the child is trying to
please both parents and is experiencing divided loyalties.
c. Projection:Children are barometers of a parent's emotional well-being.
Usually a parent reporting the stress of a child can not see that the child is acting
on the parent's anxiety. Parents should ask themselves how they are feeling
about the divorce, the other parent, and the time sharing arrangements before
assuming the child is having difficulty adjusting or assuming the problem is
with the other household.
Signs of Stress in Children
Sometimes parents need help identifying stress in children, especially little
ones. What follows are some typical experiences and signs of stress in children
of different ages.
I. INFANTS AND TODDLERS:
A. Regression in terms of sleeping, toilet training or eating; slowing down in the
mastery of new skills
B. Sleep disturbances (difficulty gong to sleep; frequent waking)
C. Difficulty leaving parent; clinginess
D. General crankiness, temper tantrums, crying.
II. THREE TO FIVE YEARS:
A. Regression: returning to security blankets and discarded toys, lapses in toilet
training, thumb sucking
B. Immature grasp of what has happened; bewildered; making up fantasy stories
C. Blaming themselves and feeling guilty
D. Bedtime anxiety; fitful/fretful sleep; frequent waking
E. Fear of being abandoned by both parents; clinginess
F. Greater irritability, aggression, temper tantrums.
III. SIX TO EIGHT YEARS:
A. Pervasive sadness;feeling abandoned and rejected
B. Crying and sobbing
C. Afraid of their worst fears coming true
D. Reconciliation fantasies
E. Loyalty conflicts; feeling physically torn apart
F. Problems with impulse control; disorganized behavior.
IV. NINE TO TWELVE YEARS:
A. Able to see family disruption clearly; try to bring order to situation
B. Fear of loneliness
C. Intense anger at the parent they blame for causing the divorce
D. Physical complaints; headaches and stomach aches
E. May becomeoveractive to avoid thinking about the divorce
F. Feel ashamed of what's happening in their family; feel they are different from
other children.
V. ADOLESCENTS:
A. Fear of being isolated and lonely
B. Experience parents as leaving them; feel parents are not available to them
C. Feel hurried to achieve independence
D. Feel in competition with parents
E. Worry about their own future loves and marriage; preoccupied with the
survival of relationships
F. Discomfort with a parent's dating and sexuality
G. Chronic fatigue; difficulty concentrating
H. Mourn the loss of the family of their childhood.
Aim-
To understand the impact of divorce on children.
Objective-
To study and analyse the effects divorce on child development
Review of literature:
 Faber and Wittenborn (2010) report that on average, children in divorced
families and stepfamilies, as compared to those in non-divorced families, are
more likely to exhibit behavioral and emotional problems, lower social
competence and self-esteem, less socially responsible behavior, and poorer
academic achievement. The fact is that the disruption of the family unit
causes an inability to concentrate, remain emotionally stable, and move
through daily activities without some form of distress. As previously
discussed, children are unable to comprehend the details of divorce and
many result in false assumptions, such as “This must be my fault.” When
outward expressions of distress are not displayed, many children will exhibit
physiological symptoms. These can range from headaches, gastrointestinal
upset, sleep disturbances, and inattention. Depending upon the level of
secure or insecure attachment, these manifestations may be more or less
severe. “Insecurely attached children have been associated with
externalizing problems such as delinquent behavior and substanceabuse as
well as internalizing problems such as anxiety, depression, and other
affective disorders (Faber, Wittenborn, 2010, p. 92).
 Increased levels of parental conflict may lead to increased long-term
vulnerability to cardiovascular and other illness (Luecken & Fabricius,
2003). Parental conflict, perceptions of father caring, and time with mother
are significant predictors of overall physical health (2003). “This is
consistent with findings that adolescents from divorced families with low
conflict reported fewer physical health symptoms and better overall well-
being than those from high conflict, intact families (p.226).”
 The first few years following a divorce are typically a difficult and stressful
period for most children and their parents (Faber & Wittenborn, 2010). It is
estimated that families typically re-stabilize parenting practices and pre-
transition levels of children’s behavior about 2 years following divorce and 5
years following remarriage (2010). After the divorce, children typically will
respond in atypical ways. The behavior variances are unique to the family
and individual child, but often display symptomatic distress in their
circumstantial change. Verbal cues, play themes, transitional o jects and
aggressive or withdrawn behavior may one or all be exhibited by the child.
 Children who are not as verbally expressive, often convey stress in
imaginative play themes. During playtime, some themes that are often
depicted by children are reunion fantasies, damage and conflict, security and
protection, and back and forth travel between households (Ebling, Pruett &
Pruett, 2009). The most frequent play theme are reunion fantasies.
 During periods of extreme stress, children may return to the use of
transitional objects—moretypically seen in the developmental period
associated with an infant’s separation from his or her mother—as a way of
coping with circumstances over which they feel little control (p.
19).Transitional objects can be stuffed animals, blankets, dolls,
etc. Anything that provides the child with a sense of security and comfort
can be transitional object. Often times, transitional objects can become
personified objects. “As a child’s need for a security object decreases with
increasing maturity, a transitional object may become imbued with
personality and agency and emerge as a personified object.” (Gleason &
Sebane 2000, p. 420) An object is personified when the child incorporates
traits that are human personality oriented. The blanket, doll, stuffed animal,
or imaginary friends are animated and utilized for role-playing. These can
be a source of supportand stress relief for children of divorce. It should be
noted that many children have transitional or personified objects who are not
under stress.
 Because feelings of shame, decrease in self-esteem, self-blame, anxiety and
fear of abandonment may be prevalent for the child of divorce, children from
divorced homes often perform academically worse than peers (Crow, Ward-
Lonergan, 2003). An inability or difficulty concentrating due to anxiety and
worry is not uncommon. Health issues that have resulted from anxiety can
also cause a disturbance in sleep and ability to focus on school
work. Fortunately, with time and therapeutic interventions, most children
are able to learn to copewith the grief and stress of divorce.
 One of the most visible results of stress in a divorce is that of
relationships. Obviously, there is a demise in the relationship between the
parents, but the relationships directly with the children are now critical and
must be recognized and supported. Someof the less obvious strains upon
such relationships are economic, concerns of loyalty, parental conflict, and
the previous level of nurturance prior to divorce. Children often feel they are
caught in the middle of their parent’s conflict (Gilman, Schneider & Shulak,
2005). Children living with parents who seek to contain and/or resolve their
conflicts, will fare much better over the courseof time than children who
live in the midst of parental conflict (2005). At the same time, children who
continue a warm and loving relationship with parents and feel that their
parents understand their experience will also fare better than children who
have a less nurturing relationship with their parents (2005).
 Children feel a loss of controlabout their situation. They are often not
adequately informed about the divorce and the implications for their
lives. Most often they are not consulted with about their living arrangements
and often they don’t feel considered about their emotions and practical
feelings (Kelly & Emery, 2003).
 They often feel they live in a divided world. “The lack of correlation
between maternal and paternal involvement suggests that “Mom’s World”
and “Dad’s World” are separate and disconnected (Finley & Schwartz, 2010,
p. 516).
 For children of divorce, it seems just as they are adapting to the new life
beyond their parents marriage, new transitions arise. Living in a single-
parent household is a temporary situation for most parents and children
(Faber, Wittenborn, 2010). Approximately seventy-five percent of men and
sixty-six percent of women eventually remarry. This can lead to further
confusion and frustration for children of divorce as parents commonly
respond to remarriage with a period of euphoria. They become more
focused on their new marriage than on their parenting.Children may perceive
the introduction of a new parent and possibly step-siblings as a threat to the
attachment bond shared with their mother. This threat may be further
exacerbated by children perceiving their mothers as less supportive and
available as well as more negative. These changes in the mother–child
relationship have the potential to alter the child’s working models of his or
her mother regarding her availability and responsiveness (Faber, Wittenborn,
2010, p. 94).
 Studies seem to suggest that adult children of divorce may also develop
higher levels of acute and chronic health problems in middle-age (Luecken
& Fabricius, 2003) This can also be correlated with current income,
education, and family support, which report statistically lower than children
of intact families. It has been reported that declines in physical health in
older adults were related to the combination of early parental separation (by
death or divorce) and high levels of current stress (2003).
 Three- to five-year old children of divorced parents have the tendency to be
anxious and may resort to immature or aggressive behavior. Children may
return to comforting blankets or familiar favorite toys. Children also may
struggle with toilet training at this time. These behaviors can last for a
lengthy period of time because children may be confused about the different
living arrangements when shifted from one home to another (Hughes, 2008).
During the preschooler stage, children may become less cooperative in their
play. Preschoolers who are experiencing separation or divorce in the family
may spend more time playing by themselves than interacting with others. In
social situations children may spend more time seeking attention and being
close to adults. With time, most children begin to comprehend and adjust to
their parent's divorce (Hughes, 2008). School-age children from six- to eight-
years of age may have a perception of what a divorce is, and are capable of
coping with the transition. Children may grieve over the change in their
family and may yearn for the absent parent. Children who are nine- to
twelve-years old somewhat understand the divorce and are generally able to
keep both their feelings and behavior manageable. Forthis age group, anger
is often the most powerful emotion. Children may physically act out their
emotions and imitate family dynamics during play in order to copewith their
feelings (Hughes, 2008). By adolescence both boys and girls are likely to
comprehend divorce more than younger children because of their maturity
level. Hughes (2008) suggested adolescents 5 may feel they are competing
with their parents when they see adults going on dates and becoming
passionately involved. Adolescent girls are capable of being involved in
premature sexual behavior which may increase the risk of teenage
pregnancy. Hughs (2008) further found some adolescent males struggling
with the stigma of divorce are more likely to be involved in criminal
behavior while interacting with peers, and adolescent boys are equally as
likely to participate in early sexual behavior as girls. Some mature boys take
on the adult male role in the family and still other girls with strong coping
skills become remarkably resilient young women because of their increased
challenges and opportunities (Hughes, 2008)
 According to Golden and Henderson (2007), the impact of separation or
divorce can have negative consequenceon adolescents if they do not
understand what is happening within their families, and if they lack the
essential coping skills to manage and adjust to the new changes in their lives.
Coping skills may include communication about feelings, developing
strategies to remain organized between homes, and not playing a messenger
between parents. It takes a level of maturity to develop these coping skills.
Parents also play an important role in easing the outcomes of divorce.
 Divorce can change this attachment style and can make a child have feelings
of anger, resentment and confusion, which can alter the child's ability to
form meaningful relationships (Hines, 2007). This is one impact divorce can
take on adolescents, after a parental divorce. It is hard for adolescents to
understand this process, while trying to figure out who they are themselves.
Family structure plays and important part in helping an adolescent adjust and
understand to the changes in their life and body. It has been shown in prior
studies that family structure is one of the factors that influence an
adolescent's success (Hines, 2007).
 Fertig (2004) establishes a causal relation between low birth weight and
parental divorce. Because low birth weight is associated with health issues
later on, this may impede children’s later success. Hence, children from
single-parent households might fare worse not becausethey grew up with a
single parent but because they are raised in disadvantaged environments.
 It is important to remember that as divorce rates continue to increase so does
the likelihood that children of divorced parents may have a greater risk
adjusting in areas of social relationships, educational achievement,
psychological adjustment, self-concept, behaviour/conduct, and social
relations, according to Amanto and Keith (cited in VanderValk et aI., 2005).
Sun (cited in ValderValk et aI., 2005) found children of divorced parents
may have a lower sense of psychological well-being than children who grew
up with intact families. Research also confirms that children of divorced
parents may experience emotional problems such as loneliness and
depression (Asetline & VanderValkcited in VanderValk et aI., 2005).
 Wallerstein (2005) noted that the bond between parents and their children
will transform during the breakup period and can bring about immediate
emotional and behavioural changes. Parent-child relationships may continue
to develop during these transitions resulting from changes in family
dynamics. There is a relationship between changes in parental actions and
mirrored changes in feelings and behaviors of children.
 Jeynes' (2001) research indicated that most children recuperate from divorce
within two or three years following the process ofthe divorce. When a child
experiences divorce in the family, the stage of adjustment is swift. After the
major changes, the child encounters post-divorcetransition, and eventually,
the child will reach a psychological equilibrium that is similar to children
from intact families (Jeynes, 2001).
 According to Dacey and Travers (cited in Dykeman, 2003), there are many
contributing factors that impact children who have experienced divorce: the
age and gender of the child at the time of the separation, the level of
collaboration among the divorced or separated parents, and the intensity of
conflict within the family. All of these 14 factors may influence the mental
health of the child, and additionally may influence the child's academics.
Poorattendance, decline in grades, and inability to concentrate are often
warning signs that may show up in the classroom. Teachers may observe
these behaviors and refer the child to the schoolcounselor for help
(Dykeman, 2003).
 According to Wallerstein and Corbin (cited in Dykeman, 2003), when
children experience divorce, they may also experience a significant impact
upon their schoolperformance. Some children may experience long-lasting
emotional effects into their adulthood that damage their ability to preserve
relationships. The result of parental divorce shapes children emotionally and
may impact self-esteem, future relationships, dating and marriage (Simons et
aI., cited in Dykeman, 2003).
 In general, the accumulation of multiple stressors and changes create
difficulties for children. There are only a few studies that have explored this
hypothesis, but the results seem to supportit. Recently, Crowder and
Teachman (2004) found that the 4 more often children in single parent
families moved the more likely they were to drop out of schoolor become
pregnant during the teen years. In general, the more stressful experiences
that children encounter during divorce the more difficulty they will have.
There is also evidence that indicates that children whose parents divorce
more than once are worse off than children who only experience one parental
divorce.
 Often, a decline in standard of living occurs after divorce. This results in
greater economic instability and reduced access to resources and pursuits
that might enhance a child’s development, such as extracurricular activities.
Kelly and Emery (2003) reported that a lessened involvement in
extracurricular activities is most likely if the family system prior to
separation had limited resources, high parent conflict, and poorcooperation.
 According to Kelly (2000), many early studies comparing children’s
adjustment based on access arrangements report that children raised within
the auspices of joint custodyarrangements were better adjusted than children
reared within sole custodyregimes. However, the use of small samples in
these studies has been criticized. Current studies with larger samples have
found fewer differences in adjustment between these two custodial
arrangements.
 It is well known among child custodyevaluators that children exposed to
triangulation and enmeshed familial systems experience poorer adjustment
than children whose conflicted parents refrain from using their children to
communicate their distress. In fact, the adjustment of children whose parents
avoid placing them in the middle of their conflicts is much the same as that
of youngsters in families experiencing low conflict (Buchanan & Heiges,
2001). These findings highlight the need for interventions and legal
processes that will promote cooperationand reduce ongoing conflict.
 Booth and Amato (2001) reported that children exposed to midrange marital
conflict have only slightly lower levels of psychological well-being. As this
level of marital conflict represents only 50% of the families that divorce, it is
not surprising that sucha large number of children are resilient when it
comes to surviving their parents’ marital breakups.
 Jaffee, Lemon, and Poisson(2003) were emphatic that the issue of domestic
violence and divorce not be erased in the literature because of the
contradictory research on children’s postseparation adjustment. They wrote:
When domestic violence ends in murder, there is no doubtabout the danger
of separation. Fatality reviews and inquests around the world point
dramatically to the increased risk when abused women and children attempt
to leave their batterer. In 1996, the rate of spousalhomicide for separated
women was seventy-nine per one million, compared with three per one
million for married women. Their work demonstrates a need for mental
health professionals engaged in the work of child custodyand divorce to
educate the public about the real everyday, lived experiences of the children
impacted by domestic abuse.
 Cartright (2006) conducted life-story interviews in New Zealand with 40
young adults between the ages of 19 and 29. These young adults had varied
cultural backgrounds and had experienced parental divorce or separation
during either childhood or adolescence. A minority of these children were
positive about their parents’ separation, whereas the majority of the
participants reported they had or were experiencing problems in everyday
functioning, and problems with intimate relationships and family members,
particularly with parents.
 Ahrons (2004) provided an excellent example of a longitudinal study that
supports this consensus. Interviewing 173 grown children whose divorcing
parents she had conferred with 20 years earlier, Ahrons was able to
demonstrate their resiliency. Her research was one of the first longitudinal
investigations to use a random sample, focus on a broad range of divorced
families, and include parents, children, and stepparents in one study. Using
telephone interviews, she located 173 adult children from 84 of the 98
families she had initially interviewed. She inquired how pastand current co-
parenting relationships affected the present quality of their parent–child
relationships. Four major constructs represented the dependent variables in
this study:
1. The quality of each parent–child relationship.
2. The absence or presence of loyalty conflicts and intensity of such
conflicts.
3. The binuclear family cohesion.
4. The adult child’s self-assessment of the long-term effects of his or her
parents’ divorce. Several analytic techniques, including cluster analysis and
analysis of variance (ANOVA), were used to determine family functioning.
Ahrons’s (2004) findings demonstrate that parental divorce does not
necessarily condemn children to lives of misery. Rather, the storm clouds
surrounding their parents’ marriages eventually disintegrated, and familial
relationships eventually became serene.
 Joint custody—new reports on sole versus joint custodyindicate that the
latter has a positive influence on children’s adjustment (Bausermann, 2002;
Lee, 2002); Lee found that children adjusted positively when they resided in
two homes, but high parental conflict suppressed theseeffects.
 The single-parent family or lone-parent family is a new family pattern that
emerged from the refusal of the marital relationship rather than the parental,
and demonstrates the variety in the structure and form of the family without
degrading its value. The pattern of the single-parent family is found in
various types: a) the formal dissolution of marriage, separation/divorce, b)
the death of a parent, c) the voluntary single paretnhood-single mother and
d) the informal dissolution of marriage, after abandonment of the family by
one parent. The key reasons for the evolution of the phenomenon are located
into four categories of factors: a) socio-economic factors, b) demographic
factors, c) factors related to family functioning and d) other individual
factors. Especially, in the early stages of entry into single-parenthood,
behavior is characterized by isolation tendencies and outbursts of aggression.
Provided that the most critical factor for the adjustment of the child is
satisfied, i.e. a stable affective relationship between the child and both
parents, within two years the child will have a smoothpsychosocial
development (Babalis, 2011).
 Children of single-parent families are being ranked in high risk groups not
only as far as the risk of educational failure is concerned, but also regarding
the possibility of social progress and acquisition of emotional wellbeing and
mental resilience, i.e. psychosocialadjustment. Initially the family and then
the schoolare invited to meet the psychosocial needs of children, which are
stemming both from the social relationships with others and from the actual
nature of the individual. The most common reactions of children in divorce
are related to changes in behavior, such as aggression, limited interpersonal
relationships, anger towards their parents, insecurity, fear of abandonment by
one or both parents and feelings of guilt (Hetherington, 2002a; Wallerstein &
Lewis, 2004).
 Kauffman (2000) argues that children with behavioral problems are those
that react abnormally in their environment in unsuccessfulsocial and
personal ways, which however can be improved through organized and
systematic intervention.
 Among the factors associated with the occurrence and prevalence of
behavior problems are the gender and age of children. Specifically, boys and
preschoolage children and adolescents show higher rates of behavioral
problems than girls and students in childhood upon entering the single
parenthood (Manolitsis & Tafa, 2005).
 Adjustment difficulties in schoolare related to problems in interpersonal and
intrapersonal behavior. And while often single parents argue that single
parenthood alone is not associated with the poorschoolperformance of their
children (Pliogkou, 2011), international literature (Amato, 2001) highlights
the effect of family type on general academic performance of children.
 “First, children who grow up in an intact, two-parent family with both
biological parents present do better on a wide range of outcomes than
children who grow up in a single-parent family. Single parenthood is not the
only, nor even the most important, cause of the higher rates of school
dropout, teenage pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, or other negative
outcomes we see; but it does contribute independently to these problems.
Neither does single parenthood guarantee that children will not succeed;
many, if not most, children who grow up in a single-parent
household do succeed.”(Berlin, 2004, Online)
Discussion:
Divorce can have a dire effect, but fortunately, as a parent you can protect your
child from the negative ramifications of divorce. While your child may be
aware of the catalyst, they may feel insecure and taking personalownership of
the divorce. Be certain to reassure your child by expressing your love and
sincere admiration. Do not blame your child for your divorce. Do not allow
others to lay blame or shame upon the life of your child. Furthermore, be certain
to remind your child that they are welcome to share and request help. Children
need to be capable of expressing emotional, mental, physical and psychological
pain. Your child may need an outlet to express his or her pain. If so, contact a
practitioner who is capable of offering professional help.
HOW TO PROTECT THECHILD FROM THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE?
First of all, divorce is a reality of our society. If divorce is on your horizon,
understand that you are not alone, a bad person, a terrible parent, or in a
minority group of people choosing the pathway of divorce. Moreover, divorce
happens amongst good people. Unfortunately, not everyone is meant to be
together and/or to stay together; the reality is, it is better to divorce than to
remain in a relationship that is spiralling downward.
“Parents who are going through divorce often believe that shielding children
from the stress of the situation is in the children’s best interest. But regardless of
their parents’ good intentions, children often find themselves caught in an
emotional whirlpool during these times. Instead of protection, they need support
and reassurance during this temporarily stressful time.” (NCSU, 2014, Online)
DIVORCE IS NOT AN INDICATOR OF YOUR WORTH:
While divorce is a perceivable failure, failure in itself is not a bad thing. Failure
is nothing more than a weakness or limitation, and fortunately, both can be
strengthened. A weakness or limitation is good. Acknowledgement of a
weakness or limitation is the recognition that you, or we, have an ability to
improve or make a marked change in our lives. It is when something is clearly
noticeable or evident that people recognize our desire for improvement.
Remember this your worthiness is not and should not be defined, by your
successes oryour failures. Your worthiness and acceptability are inherently an
attribute of your internal personhood.
INSULATING THE CHILD FROM THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE:
As a parent, it is natural to be concerned with the well-being of your child.
Whether or not, you suspectthat your child has been, or will be, negatively
effected by the divorce; it is highly recommended that you seek the advice from
a professional practitioner. A professional practitioner is a person who is
actively engaged in the art of counselling, psychotherapy, and psychology. Such
practitioners can offer an ear to hear and the encouragement to voice one’s
perceptional concerns.
It is always important that you consider the sourceof your advice. We have all
encountered well meaning individuals, but well meaning individuals can be
wrong. Be certain that you seek out advice from those who are professionally
trained. Anyone can dispense advice, but to be certain that you have received
advice that is credible, sound, and legitimate may require a professional.
As parents, be certain about the following:
1. Actively Communicate. As a parent, it is highly recommend that you have
regular and active communications with your child. Be certain that your
communications are balanced and focused on healthy conversations. Sway away
from focusing on negative communication. Rather focus your attention and the
conversation on positive communications.
2. Actively Listen. Active listening is providing your full attention to a verbal or
nonverbal communication. Be certain to take notice of and act on what someone
says, by responding with verbal or nonverbal acknowledgement. Being
acknowledged allows the sender to feel heard and respected.
3. Set Goals. Goal setting can refocus your attention, thus offering you a
roadmap of your desires. Be certain to set goals that are obtainable within the
timeframe with which you desire to achieve them. For children, setting goals
will help them to refocus their minds from the negative of the divorce onto a
new positive perspective in life. Set goals that you and/or your child are
realistically going to achieve, but be certain to set goals that will cause you to
reach for the stars.
4. Avoid Unhealthy Relationships. People who are in unhealthy relationships
are more apt to feel physically and psychologically miserable, fatigued and
stressed. Be certain that who ever you invite into your life is complimentary of
your person. Avoid relationships that are offering you negativity and hostility.
5. Deny the Negative. Negative communication and thoughts can have an
egregious impact on your being. Be certain to focus your thoughts on the
positive perspectives and aspects of your life. Avoid sending or receiving
negative information about your ex-spouse.
6. Avoid Making Your Child a Pawn. Your child should not be made pawn in
your conversation or relationship. Absolutely avoid using your child as a game
piece for negotiating, threatening, and/or brokering deals with your ex. You
should always be a respecter of your child. Do not be drawn into any games or
tempted to play games with your child’s life.
7. Change Your Perceptional Mind. “You can change your perception.
Changing your perceptions takes effort, desire, purpose, and intent. We all have
pasts;how we perceive the past influences our present.” (Brown, 2010, p. 58)
For many, relationships are central to one’s personal identity. Do not allow
yourself to feel as though you are no longer worthy because your relationship
has dissolved. Focus your attention on the life of your child, but most
importantly, on the unique opportunity that you have been given to live this
precious life.
8. Know Your Triggers. Be aware of your person. Make a mental note of what
stimulates your negative way of thinking. Identifying the trigger is half the
battle won, then devise a mental plan to diffuse your negative thoughts and
perceptions. Do not allow your partner to abuse or use your emotional triggers.
9. Physical Exercise. Physical exercise is vitally important to your mental and
physical health. “Regular exercise or physical activity helps many of the body’s
systems function better, keeps heart disease, diabetes, and a host of other
diseases at bay, and is a key ingredient for losing weight.” (HSPH, 2014,
Online) Physical exercise is a good way to release endorphins which is
responsible regulating your emotions and boosting your mood. Consider
implementing a regular routine of exercise to counterbalance depression,
negative thoughts and negative desires.
10. “Mental Health. It’s the way your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect
your life. Good mental health leads to positive self-image and in turn, satisfying
relationships with friends and others. Having good mental health helps you
make good decisions and deal with life’s challenges at home, work, or school.”
(APA, 2014, Online)
11. “Restyour mind. According to APA’s 2012 Stress in America survey, stress
keeps more than 40 percent of adults lying awake at night. To help ensure you
get the recommended seven or eight hours of shut-eye, cut back on caffeine,
remove distractions such as television or computers from your bedroomand go
to bed at the same time each night. Research shows that activities like yoga and
relaxation exercises not only help reducestress, but also boostimmune
functioning.” (Krantz, et. al., 2012, Online)
12. Consider helping others. “Studies have shown that helping others helps you,
too.”(Oz & Roizen, 2013, Online) Be certain to focus your attention on helping
others. Thosewho are in the midst of a divorce may be tempted to get wrapped
up in the negativity of the divorce. Do not allow your self to become a causality
of the divorce. While you and your child will certainly be effected by the
divorce, be certain not to focus your time and attention on positive perspectives
of life.
13. Avoid the Shame and Blame Game. Be certain to do your bestto avoid
laying shame or blame on your own person, on your life of your child, and/or on
your spouse.
14. Strive for balance. Be certain to strive for a balanced life. It is important to
enjoy the life you are living. Following a divorce, many people will become
virtual hermits avoiding others from the perception of embarrassment and
shame. Do not allow yourself to feel shame or embarrassment, such feelings are
not uplifting or psychologically comforting.
As a parent, be diligent to find ways to encourage your child to express his or
her feelings. Parents, teachers and practitioners can encourage children to
express emotions behind the divorce by being creative through art, music,
and/or journaling. The younger the child, the more likely the child will have
difficulty expressing his or her feelings. Younger children may be best served
through play or art therapy. Forparents of younger children, be certain to
remain a
parent. Children need to be reassured of their worthiness, approval, acceptance,
and most of all, your unconditional love. As a parent, you may find that reading
books may help prove as a source of encouragement. Finally, as a parent, you
may find that you and your entire family may benefit from the services of a
counselor, psychotherapist and/or psychologist. While divorce may prove
inevitable, it is highly recommended that both parents attend therapy for the
good of
the children. Children often feel as though parents simply “give-up”, because
they do not perceive the parents seeking out resources for resolution. Whether
or not you chooseto divorce, remember to be diligent to work together in
amicable spirit. The friendlier you are to one another, the easier it is for your
child to begin the process ofhealth and recovery.
Some things that one can do to enhance a child's adjustment are the following:-
1) Prior to the separation, it may be helpful for both parents to discuss the
impending divorce at a level appropriate for the child;
2) Be available to answer questions;
3) Read age appropriate books ondivorce with your child;
4) Reassure the child divorce is not his or her fault;
5) Let the child know that you will bothcontinue to love him;
6) Put child's needs first;
7) Do not argue with other parent in front of the child;
8) Do not expect your child to meet your emotional needs;
9) Be consistent in your parenting;
10) Make visitations regular and predictable;
11) Let the child know that you will tell other important people in case he or she
would like to seek supportfrom these people
12) Do not be openly critical of other parent;
13) Do not interrogate child about visits with other parent, and most importantly
be sensitive to your child's emotional needs.
Key learnings:
 Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boy orgirl no matter
what the age.
 Divorce tends to intensify the child's dependence, it often elicits a more
regressive response in the child.
 For the young child, divorce shakes trust in dependency on parents who
now behave in an extremely undependable way.
 The dependent child's shortterm reaction to divorce can be an anxious one.
So much is different, new, unpredictable, and unknown that life becomes
filled with scary questions? "What is going to happen to next?" "Who will
take care of me?" "If my parents can lose for each other, can they lose love
for me?" "With one parent moving out, what if I lose the other too?"
Answering such worry questions with worst fears, the child's responsecan
be regressive.
 Main aspects of the psychology of Divorce are emotions , behaviour ,
mental health and thought process.
 Psychological effects of divorce on the patient as well as their families can
be anxiety , depression , psychological distress , suicidal ideation
 In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of
Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that
many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce,
especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically
diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of
kids suffer longer.
 Divorced children experience less financial security, lower academic
achievement, more alcohol and cigarette use, and lower rates of
employment as young adults.
 Divorce is emotionally draining for everyone involved.
 Divorce is almost always stressful for children. Most children do not want
their parents to separate (unless the marriage was full of intense conflict
and anger or other sources of misery not suitable for children).
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treatise

  • 1. IMPACT OF DIVORCE ON CHILD DEVELOPMENT Treatise Report Submitted as a Part of the Curriculum of Masters of Art (Counselling Psychology) Submitted by: Submitted to: Anvi Grover Dr Priyanka Tiwari Enrolment no.: A1503314028
  • 2. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT I would like to thank all people who have helped and inspired me during my treatise project preparation. My special thanks to Prof. Abha Singh, Director, Amity Institute of Psychology and Allied Sciences. I especially want to thank my Research Guide , Dr. Priyanka Tiwari for her guidance during my treatise. Her perpetual energy and enthusiasm in research had motivated me. I was delighted to interact with Priyanka ma’am by seeking her help and guidance from time to time and for giving me useful suggestions and pointing out weaknesses in organization which helped me to refine my research work. I would like to thank all the researchers who contributed to the field and the number of people for their assistance with this project and field work. My gratitude goes to all of those who have helped me within such a short period of time. Without their help my treatise report would be incomplete I am grateful to Dr Priyanka Tiwari , for having faith and securing feedback. Lastly I would like to extend a heartfelt gratitude to my family, and friends who have been a constant source of support and encouragement Name :Anvi Grover Enrolment no: A150314028 MA in Counselling Psychology Semester - 3
  • 3. CERTIFICATE This is to certify that the seminar titled ‘ImpactofDivorce onChild Development ‘: A review’ by Anvi Grover was conducted under my supervision and it constitutes of her original work. Signature Dr Priyanka Tiwari Supervisor
  • 4. Amity Institute of Psychology And Allied Sciences, Amity University, Noida 2015 DECLARATION I, Anvi Grover , have selected a study topic Impact of Divorce on Child Development and its components for my Treatise study report as a part of my curriculum of Master of Arts (M.A.) in Counselling Psychology under the supervision of Dr.Priyanka Tiwari, AIPS, AMITY UNIVERSITY,UTTAR PRADESH. This piece of work is not a replacement of any previous study to the best of knowledge. I have followed the NTCC guidelines for the completion of this study. Anvi Grover M.A. Counselling Psychology (2014-16) Enrolment no. A1503314028
  • 7. Introduction: Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boyor girl no matter what the age. Witnessing loss of love between parents, having parents break their marriage commitment, adjusting to going back and forth between two different households, and the daily absence of one parent while living with the other, all create a challenging new family circumstance in which to live. In the personal history of the boy or girl, parental divorce is a watershed event. Life that follows is significantly changed from how life was before. Somewhat different responses to this painful turn of events occurif the boy or girl is still in childhood or has entered adolescence. Basically, divorce tends to intensify the child's dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent's independence; it often elicits a more regressive responsein the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent. Consider why this variation may be so. The child's world is a dependent one, closely connected to parents who are favoured companions, heavily reliant on parental care, with family the major locus of one's social life. The adolescent world is a more independent one, more separated and distant from parents, more self-sufficient, where friends have become favoured companions, and where the major locus of one's social life now extends outside of family into a larger world of life experience. For the young child, divorce shakes trust in dependency on parents who now behave in an extremely undependable way. They surgically divide the family unit into two different households between which the child must learn to transit
  • 8. back and forth, for a while creating unfamiliarity, instability, and insecurity, never being able to be with one parent without having to be apart from the other. Convincing a young child of the permanence of divorce can be hard when his intense longing fantasizes that somehow, some way, mom and dad will be living back together again someday. He relies on wishful thinking to help allay the pain of loss, holding onto hope for a parental reunion much longer than does the adolescent who is quicker to accept the finality of this unwelcome family change. Thus parents who put in a joint presence at special family celebrations and holiday events to recreate family closeness for the child only feed the child's fantasy and delay his adjustment. The dependent child's short term reaction to divorce can be an anxious one. So much is different, new, unpredictable, and unknown that life becomes filled with scary questions? "What is going to happen to next?" "Who will take care of me?" "If my parents can lose for each other, can they lose love for me?" "With one parent moving out, what if I lose the other too?" Answering such worry questions with worst fears, the child's responsecan be regressive. By reverting to a former way of functioning, more parental care-taking may be forthcoming. There can be separation anxieties, crying at bed times, breaking toilet training, bed-wetting, clinging, whining, tantrums, and temporary loss of established self-care skills, all of which can compelparental attention. The child wants to feel more connected in a family situation where a major disconnection has occurred. Regression to earlier dependency can partly be an effort to elicit parental concern, bringing them close when divorce has pulled each of them further away - the resident parent now busier and more preoccupied, the absent parent simply less available because of being less around. The more independent-minded adolescent tends to deal more aggressively to divorce, often reacting in a mad, rebellious way, more resolved to disregard
  • 9. family discipline and take care of himself since parents have failed to keep commitments to family that were originally made. Where the child may have tried to get parents back, the adolescent may try to get back at parents. Where the child felt grief, the adolescence has a grievance. "If they can't be trusted to stay together and take care of the family, then I need to start relying more on myself." "If they can break their marriage and put themselves first, then I can put myself first too." "If they don'tmind hurting me, then I can I don'tmind hurting them." Now the adolescent can act aggressively to take control of his life by behaving even more distantly and defiantly, more determined to live his life his way, more dedicated to his self-interest than before. He feels increasingly autonomous in a family situation that feels disconnected. He now feels more impelled and entitled to act on his own. For the parent who divorces with an adolescent, the young person's increased dedication to self-interest must be harnessed by insisting on increased responsibility as more separation and independence from family occurs. For the parent who divorces with a child, the priority is establishing a sense of family order and predictability. This means observing the three R's required to restore a child's trust in security, familiarity, and dependency - Routines, Rituals, and Reassurance. Thus parents establish household and visitation Routines so the child knows what to expect. They allow the child to create Rituals to feel more in control of her life. And they provide continual Reassurance that the parents are as lovingly connected to the child as ever, and are committed to the making this new family arrangement work. Family organization is very critical; a separation in a family unit requires restoration. There are many changes that will occurdue to divorce. Children never want to see their parents get divorced because sometimes they may feel as
  • 10. if they are going to be neglected. Most of the time in divorces, kids normally end up living with one parent. Sometimes a child may feel as if their parents are divorcing them too, they feel more neglected because of the turmoil. In today’s world 50% of kids are growing up in single parent homes. Children need their parents so they can have role models to learn from. When a child and parent bond is broken negative things begin to happen in children lives. A divorce is always a devastating situation but when it involves children it makes the situation worse. Kids always receive the worst end of the deal when parents decide to divorce. Most kids feel that it was something that they have done to cause their parents to part. Many kids believe if they had acted better, made better grades, helped more with chores, the divorce could have been prevented. That is not true parents’ divorce for many reasons but kids are never the reason. When parents decide they are going to divorce both should be present to tell the child. Parents should thoroughly explain it is nothing that the child has done and, there is nothing they can do to fix it. A child should always know that both parents love them and nothing can change that. It is good for parents to explain that the love that was between them as a couple is nothing like the love and bond that is formed with them. Children need to have that reinforcement that the love you have for them will last forever. It is also good for parents to tell their kids that it is okay to love them both. Most of time in a divorce, kids’ feel they have to take sides and love one parent more than the other. Children feel that if they do not then one parent may not love them as much as the other. Making children’s lives as easy as possible will sometimes minimize the sadness the child will have. When parents get divorced it is very essential for a child to know how their lives will change. Children should not be exposed to a drastic change. Some things should remain the same such as going to the same school, friends, and social activities. Parents should always let their children
  • 11. know that either parent can be talked to if they are having any types of problems. A child needs a relationship with both parents so they can have that sense of security. Even though a marriage may not have worked that does not mean that you cannot be a successfulparent. Keeping the communication line open with children also helps your child to copewith the divorce. Children sometimes feel as if they cannot go to their parents and express how they feel. Some children respond to their parents’ divorce by not showing their emotions towards the situation. Encourage your child to express their feelings whether its anger, sadness orany other concerns they may have. Many kids deal with their parents divorces in different ways. Even though the parents are going through turmoil, the support of your children should be number one. Sometimes the behavior in kids changes drastically. Children sometimes have problems with sleeping. They may wake up constantly in the middle of the night or have night mares. Some kids start having trouble paying attention in schoolwhich results in poorgrades. Children trying to copemay turn to alcohol, tobacco, taking unneeded medications, or trying to experiment with household products. Somekids may turn to self injury or have thoughts of committing suicide. Children sometimes feel they have to take all the problems on their shoulders. Letting your kids have outside supportfrom family members, close family friends, teachers, and counselors can sometimes help with this process. Children may feel anger towards both parents for wanting to separate, but that is common. Having an outside source can sometimes help them open up to express feelings. Children tend to show more aggression towards their parents during divorce. Letting your kids know that you will always be there no matter how angry they get with you will help put your child’s mind at ease.
  • 12. Showing your children that you can be cordial even though you are divorced can help. Minimize the disputes you may have while you are in the presence of your kids. Kids tend to take the situation better when parents can talk without arguing, which gives them some sense of relief. A child should never hear the arguments of your divorce they have enough on their shoulders and mind with the changes that will occur. The least parents can do is act in the best interest of the child and not belittle each other. Parents should still be that role model for their kids to look up to. As a parent they should discipline their kids. Even though a divorce is a rough time certain behavior should not be tolerated. If you let your child grades fall, behave poorly, or throw temper tantrums it makes them feel as if they are entitled to these actions becauseof what is going on. As parents you need to agree upon how the discipline is going to be handled. There should be an agreement upon how both of the parents are going to handle discipline problems. Parents should not pity their kids due their divorce they need to let their kids know they will still be disciplined. A divorce has a real effect on some children even up until they are adults. Many adults are troubled becauseof what happened in their childhood. That is not a good thing because now it causes them to think that it is destined for their marriage to fail. In some cases people who had a divorce in their families tend to drink and smoke more than the average. This can cause a major problem if they can’t resolve the problem and know that it is up to them whether their marriage succeeds orfails. Today’s generation in society seems to look at divorce as something that is normal. Kids today see divorce as something that typically happens in a family. It seems as if couples are not taking their marriages seriously. Couples are getting married at an early age and not getting the chance to know each other before making the comment to become one. In earlier times it had to be a
  • 13. proven fact in order for a couple to divorce. In today’s society it’s much easier to get a divorce which results in so many single parents. It’s not impossible to raise a child being a single parent but it’s more challenging. Families that had kids that were well off seen their income dropped 50% because of divorce. Many parents that are going through divorce end up moving into a lower class society because of the decreased of income. Many marriages fail because some couples are trying to live far above their means of income. When money mentioned in a marriage a lot of issues come up, one partner feel as if they are contributing more than the other. There was a study that was done among young adults whose parents had divorced. In this survey 73% of them said they would be different people if their parents did not divorce. In this study it also showed that 51% said they would have been different if they had their fathers. Furthermore 18% of people are afraid that they will follow in their parent’s footsteps. Thesestatistics are true in many ways a divorce has a lifelong affect on children because it sticks in their minds. When most kids grow up they try not to be like their parents but it is hard not to becausethey were their role models that they looked up to. In today’s society couples need to really look into why they are getting married. We are not in the modern society where its pressure for you to get married. We all have choices before deciding to make that big step into commitment. There is more to marriage than just saying you love someone and jumping to get married. Getting married and having kids is very sacred you should want to bring your kids up without both parents. Family is the basic building structure that forms society. This structure is becoming weaker as the years go on. Society no longer looks at reaching that goal of becoming the American family having the marriage, kids, a dog, and a Pickett fence. Everyone is bailing out and getting divorces instead of trying to
  • 14. see if things will work out. It seems as if today’s society is no longer looking at how couples are being viewed they are trying to take the easy way out. It is poignant that in this day and age it is very rare to find a young couple that has not experienced divorce. Divorce is having a tremendous impact becausenow kids are not being considered. Couples are not worrying about how their kids are going to cope without having both parents. Most parents are taking on the role of being a single mother or father and not worrying about the consequences. Many kids are not having fun childhoods because of the amount of responsibility they have to take on living with a single parent. Many parents work hard so therefore their kids have to learn how to manage on their own. When parents decide to divorce or separate, their child or children are faced with multiple stressors. Justknowing that things are going to be different after a divorce, but not knowing exactly how can be frightening or cause fears for most children. Children from divorced families have to learn to copewith the many changes in their family. The amount of contact with one parent, often their father, will be reduced. Children may have to move from their family home or change schools. Schoolwork may suffer or schoolavoidance may develop. They may have a decreased standard of living. They may have to live in two homes. They may have more responsibility placed on them. The custodial parent may be physically and psychologically less available for children due to increased demands. Often, children initially focus on these immediate negative effects of the family breaking up, and do not find comfort in knowing that other families that have divorced eventually do okay. Adjustment to divorce can take up to two years or even longer. Many children will adjust to their parents' divorce, but some will continue to have significant problems into adulthood. Parents' sensitivity to their child's needs is one of the
  • 15. most important factors in facilitating adjustment. Other factors such as the child's age, gender and temperament will also influence how well the child adjusts. A preschooler's reaction to and ability to understand their parents' divorce will be very different from that of an adolescent. A child's beliefs about divorce will change over time due to their cognitive maturity and evolving relationships with their parents. Awareness and sensitivity to the developmental differences in children's reaction to divorce can provide parents with insight in how to talk to their children to help in their adjustment. Because of their limited cognitive abilities, preschoolers are often baffled by their parents divorce. They lack the coping skills necessary to deal with all the changes associated with divorce, which place them at risk of having more adjustment problems than an older child. Children tend to be egocentric at this age, and will often blame themselves for the divorce. They may feel that it is their responsibility to bring their parents back together. Preschoolers tend to be "emotionally needy," have fears related to abandonment, and may display acting-out behaviors following their parents' divorce or separation. Preschooler are likely to becomevery distressed during visit exchanges. Although children between the ages of about 6 to 8 continue to have fantasies about reconciling their parents, they are less likely to blame themselves for the divorce. Children at this age have been found to experience intense grief over the loss of not having one of their parents living with them. The older child (ages 9 to 12) is better able to understand their parents' divorce. They are likely to consciously express their disapprovaland tend to take the side of one of their
  • 16. parents. Anger at their parents is conscious. Adolescents' ability to understand and conceptualize their parents divorce will enhance their adjustment. However, they are faced with the task of integrating the divorce experience with their own developing identities. Boys and girls tend to react differently to their parents' divorce. As a rule, girls tend to become anxious and withdrawn, while boys tend to become more aggressive and disobedient. Girls from divorced families may become sexually active earlier than girls from intact families. Interestingly, boys often adjust better when their mothers remarry, while girls have more difficulty. Children of divorced families tend to have long-term adjustment difficulties when there is ongoing conflict between their parents. Boys, in particular, are likely to display marked behavior problems when this exists. Children's adjustment is also determined by the amount of conflict the parents had before the divorce. Researchers have found that children in divorced families, where there is little conflict following the divorce, do not differ in adjustment than children from low conflict intact families. A child's relationship with his or her parents following a divorce is critical to the child's adjustment. Although the distress of not being with both parents is one of the most painful parts of divorce, it is the continuing relationship that children have with their parents that is essential to their long-term adjustment. This highlights the importance of not criticizing the other parent in front of the child. Children from divorced families do best when visits from the non-custodial
  • 17. parent are regular, predictable, and occurin a “conflict-free” setting. The quality of the relationship is more important than the quantity. If frequent contactoccur in undesirable circumstances, the child is likely to have adjustment problems. A child’s adjustment is facilitated if the custodial parent is warm, understanding, nurturing, and demonstrates good parenting skills. If the child's parents have difficulty coping with stress, the child's adjustment will be at risk, especially if the child has a 'difficult' temperament. A child with such a temperament will have significant problems coping when faced with disruptions in routine and when their parents experience increased stress and demands. These children may becomemore difficult to manage after the divorce. A child's adjustment to divorce will be quicker when fewer disruptions are caused by the divorce and when an established routine is achieved. Unfortunately, a practical change that often happens with divorce is a reduce in standard of living. This may cause the custodial parent to be overwhelmed, and unable to meet the needs of the child. Typical Reactions ofChildren to Divorce Much of children's post-divorceadjustment is dependent on (1) the quality of their relationship with each parent before the divorce, (2) the intensity and duration of the parental conflict, and (3) the parents' ability to focus on the needs of the children in the divorce. Typically, children whose parents are going through a rough divorce engage in behaviors which are designed to help them feel secure. What follows are some typical experiences of children to divorce and separation:
  • 18. A. DENIAL This especially occurs in young children and surfaces as story telling (Mommy and Daddy and me going to Disneyland; we're moving into a duplex and Daddy will live next door;they will also have reconciliation fantasies). B. ABANDONMENT When parents separate, children worry who will take care of them. They are afraid they too are divorceable and will be abandoned by one or both of their parents. This problem is worsened by one or bothparents taking the children into their confidence, talking about the other parent in front of the children, using language like "Daddy is divorcing us," being late for pick-up, or abducting the children. Children who are feeling insecure will say things to a parent which is intended to evoke a mama bear/papa bear response(a demonstration of protectiveness). If children do not have "permission" to have a good relationship with the other parent, or if they think they need to "take care of" one of their parents in the divorce, they are likely to end up having feelings of divided loyalties between their parents or, in the extreme, they may become triangulated with one parent against the other parent. C. PREOCCUPATION WITHINFORMATION Children will want details of what is happening and how it affects them. Communication from the parents needs to be unified and age appropriate. D. ANGER AND HOSTILITY Children may express anger and hostility with peers, siblings, or parents. School performance may be impaired. Hostility of children toward parents is often directed at the parent perceived to be at fault. Hostility turned inward looks like depression in children.
  • 19. E. DEPRESSION Lethargy, sleep and eating disturbances, acting out, social withdrawal, physical injury (more common in adolescents). F. IMMATURITY/HYPERMATURITY Children may regress to an earlier developmental stage when they felt assured of both parents' love. They may do some "baby-talk" or wet their beds. Children may become "parentified" by what they perceive to be the emotional and physical needs of their parents ("Someone needs to be in charge here.") G. PREOCCUPATION WITHRECONCILIATION The more conflict there is between the parents, the longer children hold onto the notion of their parents' reconciliation. It is clear that the parents are not "getting on" with their lives. Children will often act out in ways which force their parents to interact (negatively or positively). Children whose parents were very conflictual during the marriage often mistake the strong emotions of conflict with intimacy. They see the parents as engaged in an intimate relationship. H. BLAME AND GUILT Because so much marital conflict may be related to the stress of parenting, children often feel responsible for their parents' divorce--they feel that somehow their behavior contributed to it. This is especially true when parents fight during exchanges of the children or in negotiating schedules: children see that parents are fighting over them. They may try to bargain their parents back together by promises of good behavior; they may have difficulty with transitions or refuse to go with the other parent. I. ACTING OUT
  • 20. Children will often act out their own and their parents' anger. In an attempt to survive in a hostile environment, children will often take the side of the parent they are presently with. This may manifest in refusals to talk to the other parent on the phone or reluctance to share time with the other parent. Adolescents will typically act out in ways similar to how the parents are acting out. In summary, expect that children will test a parent's loyalty, experience loyalty binds, not want to hurt either parent, force parents to interact because they don't want the divorce, try to exert some power in the situation, express anger over the divorce, occasionally refuse to go with the other parent (normal divorce stress, loyalty conflict/triangulation, or they may simply not want to stop doing what they're doing at the moment--similar to the reaction we've all gotten when we pick our children up from child care, or we want to go home from the park). The most common problem which arise tend to stem from triangulation, divided loyalties, and projection. Some indicators of each are: a. Triangulation: Child refuses to have time with the other parent or talk to the other parent on the phone, child badmouths the other parent. b. Divided loyalties: When a child tells each parent different and opposing things about what they want it is a good indication that the child is trying to please both parents and is experiencing divided loyalties. c. Projection:Children are barometers of a parent's emotional well-being. Usually a parent reporting the stress of a child can not see that the child is acting on the parent's anxiety. Parents should ask themselves how they are feeling about the divorce, the other parent, and the time sharing arrangements before assuming the child is having difficulty adjusting or assuming the problem is with the other household.
  • 21. Signs of Stress in Children Sometimes parents need help identifying stress in children, especially little ones. What follows are some typical experiences and signs of stress in children of different ages. I. INFANTS AND TODDLERS: A. Regression in terms of sleeping, toilet training or eating; slowing down in the mastery of new skills B. Sleep disturbances (difficulty gong to sleep; frequent waking) C. Difficulty leaving parent; clinginess D. General crankiness, temper tantrums, crying. II. THREE TO FIVE YEARS: A. Regression: returning to security blankets and discarded toys, lapses in toilet training, thumb sucking B. Immature grasp of what has happened; bewildered; making up fantasy stories C. Blaming themselves and feeling guilty D. Bedtime anxiety; fitful/fretful sleep; frequent waking E. Fear of being abandoned by both parents; clinginess F. Greater irritability, aggression, temper tantrums. III. SIX TO EIGHT YEARS: A. Pervasive sadness;feeling abandoned and rejected B. Crying and sobbing C. Afraid of their worst fears coming true D. Reconciliation fantasies E. Loyalty conflicts; feeling physically torn apart F. Problems with impulse control; disorganized behavior.
  • 22. IV. NINE TO TWELVE YEARS: A. Able to see family disruption clearly; try to bring order to situation B. Fear of loneliness C. Intense anger at the parent they blame for causing the divorce D. Physical complaints; headaches and stomach aches E. May becomeoveractive to avoid thinking about the divorce F. Feel ashamed of what's happening in their family; feel they are different from other children. V. ADOLESCENTS: A. Fear of being isolated and lonely B. Experience parents as leaving them; feel parents are not available to them C. Feel hurried to achieve independence D. Feel in competition with parents E. Worry about their own future loves and marriage; preoccupied with the survival of relationships F. Discomfort with a parent's dating and sexuality G. Chronic fatigue; difficulty concentrating H. Mourn the loss of the family of their childhood.
  • 23. Aim- To understand the impact of divorce on children. Objective- To study and analyse the effects divorce on child development
  • 24. Review of literature:  Faber and Wittenborn (2010) report that on average, children in divorced families and stepfamilies, as compared to those in non-divorced families, are more likely to exhibit behavioral and emotional problems, lower social competence and self-esteem, less socially responsible behavior, and poorer academic achievement. The fact is that the disruption of the family unit causes an inability to concentrate, remain emotionally stable, and move through daily activities without some form of distress. As previously discussed, children are unable to comprehend the details of divorce and many result in false assumptions, such as “This must be my fault.” When outward expressions of distress are not displayed, many children will exhibit physiological symptoms. These can range from headaches, gastrointestinal upset, sleep disturbances, and inattention. Depending upon the level of secure or insecure attachment, these manifestations may be more or less severe. “Insecurely attached children have been associated with externalizing problems such as delinquent behavior and substanceabuse as well as internalizing problems such as anxiety, depression, and other affective disorders (Faber, Wittenborn, 2010, p. 92).  Increased levels of parental conflict may lead to increased long-term vulnerability to cardiovascular and other illness (Luecken & Fabricius, 2003). Parental conflict, perceptions of father caring, and time with mother
  • 25. are significant predictors of overall physical health (2003). “This is consistent with findings that adolescents from divorced families with low conflict reported fewer physical health symptoms and better overall well- being than those from high conflict, intact families (p.226).”  The first few years following a divorce are typically a difficult and stressful period for most children and their parents (Faber & Wittenborn, 2010). It is estimated that families typically re-stabilize parenting practices and pre- transition levels of children’s behavior about 2 years following divorce and 5 years following remarriage (2010). After the divorce, children typically will respond in atypical ways. The behavior variances are unique to the family and individual child, but often display symptomatic distress in their circumstantial change. Verbal cues, play themes, transitional o jects and aggressive or withdrawn behavior may one or all be exhibited by the child.  Children who are not as verbally expressive, often convey stress in imaginative play themes. During playtime, some themes that are often depicted by children are reunion fantasies, damage and conflict, security and protection, and back and forth travel between households (Ebling, Pruett & Pruett, 2009). The most frequent play theme are reunion fantasies.  During periods of extreme stress, children may return to the use of transitional objects—moretypically seen in the developmental period associated with an infant’s separation from his or her mother—as a way of coping with circumstances over which they feel little control (p. 19).Transitional objects can be stuffed animals, blankets, dolls, etc. Anything that provides the child with a sense of security and comfort can be transitional object. Often times, transitional objects can become personified objects. “As a child’s need for a security object decreases with
  • 26. increasing maturity, a transitional object may become imbued with personality and agency and emerge as a personified object.” (Gleason & Sebane 2000, p. 420) An object is personified when the child incorporates traits that are human personality oriented. The blanket, doll, stuffed animal, or imaginary friends are animated and utilized for role-playing. These can be a source of supportand stress relief for children of divorce. It should be noted that many children have transitional or personified objects who are not under stress.  Because feelings of shame, decrease in self-esteem, self-blame, anxiety and fear of abandonment may be prevalent for the child of divorce, children from divorced homes often perform academically worse than peers (Crow, Ward- Lonergan, 2003). An inability or difficulty concentrating due to anxiety and worry is not uncommon. Health issues that have resulted from anxiety can also cause a disturbance in sleep and ability to focus on school work. Fortunately, with time and therapeutic interventions, most children are able to learn to copewith the grief and stress of divorce.  One of the most visible results of stress in a divorce is that of relationships. Obviously, there is a demise in the relationship between the parents, but the relationships directly with the children are now critical and must be recognized and supported. Someof the less obvious strains upon such relationships are economic, concerns of loyalty, parental conflict, and the previous level of nurturance prior to divorce. Children often feel they are caught in the middle of their parent’s conflict (Gilman, Schneider & Shulak, 2005). Children living with parents who seek to contain and/or resolve their conflicts, will fare much better over the courseof time than children who live in the midst of parental conflict (2005). At the same time, children who continue a warm and loving relationship with parents and feel that their
  • 27. parents understand their experience will also fare better than children who have a less nurturing relationship with their parents (2005).  Children feel a loss of controlabout their situation. They are often not adequately informed about the divorce and the implications for their lives. Most often they are not consulted with about their living arrangements and often they don’t feel considered about their emotions and practical feelings (Kelly & Emery, 2003).  They often feel they live in a divided world. “The lack of correlation between maternal and paternal involvement suggests that “Mom’s World” and “Dad’s World” are separate and disconnected (Finley & Schwartz, 2010, p. 516).  For children of divorce, it seems just as they are adapting to the new life beyond their parents marriage, new transitions arise. Living in a single- parent household is a temporary situation for most parents and children (Faber, Wittenborn, 2010). Approximately seventy-five percent of men and sixty-six percent of women eventually remarry. This can lead to further confusion and frustration for children of divorce as parents commonly respond to remarriage with a period of euphoria. They become more focused on their new marriage than on their parenting.Children may perceive the introduction of a new parent and possibly step-siblings as a threat to the attachment bond shared with their mother. This threat may be further exacerbated by children perceiving their mothers as less supportive and available as well as more negative. These changes in the mother–child relationship have the potential to alter the child’s working models of his or her mother regarding her availability and responsiveness (Faber, Wittenborn, 2010, p. 94).
  • 28.  Studies seem to suggest that adult children of divorce may also develop higher levels of acute and chronic health problems in middle-age (Luecken & Fabricius, 2003) This can also be correlated with current income, education, and family support, which report statistically lower than children of intact families. It has been reported that declines in physical health in older adults were related to the combination of early parental separation (by death or divorce) and high levels of current stress (2003).  Three- to five-year old children of divorced parents have the tendency to be anxious and may resort to immature or aggressive behavior. Children may return to comforting blankets or familiar favorite toys. Children also may struggle with toilet training at this time. These behaviors can last for a lengthy period of time because children may be confused about the different living arrangements when shifted from one home to another (Hughes, 2008). During the preschooler stage, children may become less cooperative in their play. Preschoolers who are experiencing separation or divorce in the family may spend more time playing by themselves than interacting with others. In social situations children may spend more time seeking attention and being close to adults. With time, most children begin to comprehend and adjust to their parent's divorce (Hughes, 2008). School-age children from six- to eight- years of age may have a perception of what a divorce is, and are capable of coping with the transition. Children may grieve over the change in their family and may yearn for the absent parent. Children who are nine- to twelve-years old somewhat understand the divorce and are generally able to keep both their feelings and behavior manageable. Forthis age group, anger is often the most powerful emotion. Children may physically act out their emotions and imitate family dynamics during play in order to copewith their feelings (Hughes, 2008). By adolescence both boys and girls are likely to
  • 29. comprehend divorce more than younger children because of their maturity level. Hughes (2008) suggested adolescents 5 may feel they are competing with their parents when they see adults going on dates and becoming passionately involved. Adolescent girls are capable of being involved in premature sexual behavior which may increase the risk of teenage pregnancy. Hughs (2008) further found some adolescent males struggling with the stigma of divorce are more likely to be involved in criminal behavior while interacting with peers, and adolescent boys are equally as likely to participate in early sexual behavior as girls. Some mature boys take on the adult male role in the family and still other girls with strong coping skills become remarkably resilient young women because of their increased challenges and opportunities (Hughes, 2008)  According to Golden and Henderson (2007), the impact of separation or divorce can have negative consequenceon adolescents if they do not understand what is happening within their families, and if they lack the essential coping skills to manage and adjust to the new changes in their lives. Coping skills may include communication about feelings, developing strategies to remain organized between homes, and not playing a messenger between parents. It takes a level of maturity to develop these coping skills. Parents also play an important role in easing the outcomes of divorce.  Divorce can change this attachment style and can make a child have feelings of anger, resentment and confusion, which can alter the child's ability to form meaningful relationships (Hines, 2007). This is one impact divorce can take on adolescents, after a parental divorce. It is hard for adolescents to understand this process, while trying to figure out who they are themselves. Family structure plays and important part in helping an adolescent adjust and understand to the changes in their life and body. It has been shown in prior
  • 30. studies that family structure is one of the factors that influence an adolescent's success (Hines, 2007).  Fertig (2004) establishes a causal relation between low birth weight and parental divorce. Because low birth weight is associated with health issues later on, this may impede children’s later success. Hence, children from single-parent households might fare worse not becausethey grew up with a single parent but because they are raised in disadvantaged environments.  It is important to remember that as divorce rates continue to increase so does the likelihood that children of divorced parents may have a greater risk adjusting in areas of social relationships, educational achievement, psychological adjustment, self-concept, behaviour/conduct, and social relations, according to Amanto and Keith (cited in VanderValk et aI., 2005). Sun (cited in ValderValk et aI., 2005) found children of divorced parents may have a lower sense of psychological well-being than children who grew up with intact families. Research also confirms that children of divorced parents may experience emotional problems such as loneliness and depression (Asetline & VanderValkcited in VanderValk et aI., 2005).  Wallerstein (2005) noted that the bond between parents and their children will transform during the breakup period and can bring about immediate emotional and behavioural changes. Parent-child relationships may continue to develop during these transitions resulting from changes in family dynamics. There is a relationship between changes in parental actions and mirrored changes in feelings and behaviors of children.  Jeynes' (2001) research indicated that most children recuperate from divorce within two or three years following the process ofthe divorce. When a child
  • 31. experiences divorce in the family, the stage of adjustment is swift. After the major changes, the child encounters post-divorcetransition, and eventually, the child will reach a psychological equilibrium that is similar to children from intact families (Jeynes, 2001).  According to Dacey and Travers (cited in Dykeman, 2003), there are many contributing factors that impact children who have experienced divorce: the age and gender of the child at the time of the separation, the level of collaboration among the divorced or separated parents, and the intensity of conflict within the family. All of these 14 factors may influence the mental health of the child, and additionally may influence the child's academics. Poorattendance, decline in grades, and inability to concentrate are often warning signs that may show up in the classroom. Teachers may observe these behaviors and refer the child to the schoolcounselor for help (Dykeman, 2003).  According to Wallerstein and Corbin (cited in Dykeman, 2003), when children experience divorce, they may also experience a significant impact upon their schoolperformance. Some children may experience long-lasting emotional effects into their adulthood that damage their ability to preserve relationships. The result of parental divorce shapes children emotionally and may impact self-esteem, future relationships, dating and marriage (Simons et aI., cited in Dykeman, 2003).  In general, the accumulation of multiple stressors and changes create difficulties for children. There are only a few studies that have explored this
  • 32. hypothesis, but the results seem to supportit. Recently, Crowder and Teachman (2004) found that the 4 more often children in single parent families moved the more likely they were to drop out of schoolor become pregnant during the teen years. In general, the more stressful experiences that children encounter during divorce the more difficulty they will have. There is also evidence that indicates that children whose parents divorce more than once are worse off than children who only experience one parental divorce.  Often, a decline in standard of living occurs after divorce. This results in greater economic instability and reduced access to resources and pursuits that might enhance a child’s development, such as extracurricular activities. Kelly and Emery (2003) reported that a lessened involvement in extracurricular activities is most likely if the family system prior to separation had limited resources, high parent conflict, and poorcooperation.  According to Kelly (2000), many early studies comparing children’s adjustment based on access arrangements report that children raised within the auspices of joint custodyarrangements were better adjusted than children reared within sole custodyregimes. However, the use of small samples in these studies has been criticized. Current studies with larger samples have found fewer differences in adjustment between these two custodial arrangements.  It is well known among child custodyevaluators that children exposed to triangulation and enmeshed familial systems experience poorer adjustment than children whose conflicted parents refrain from using their children to communicate their distress. In fact, the adjustment of children whose parents avoid placing them in the middle of their conflicts is much the same as that
  • 33. of youngsters in families experiencing low conflict (Buchanan & Heiges, 2001). These findings highlight the need for interventions and legal processes that will promote cooperationand reduce ongoing conflict.  Booth and Amato (2001) reported that children exposed to midrange marital conflict have only slightly lower levels of psychological well-being. As this level of marital conflict represents only 50% of the families that divorce, it is not surprising that sucha large number of children are resilient when it comes to surviving their parents’ marital breakups.  Jaffee, Lemon, and Poisson(2003) were emphatic that the issue of domestic violence and divorce not be erased in the literature because of the contradictory research on children’s postseparation adjustment. They wrote: When domestic violence ends in murder, there is no doubtabout the danger of separation. Fatality reviews and inquests around the world point dramatically to the increased risk when abused women and children attempt to leave their batterer. In 1996, the rate of spousalhomicide for separated women was seventy-nine per one million, compared with three per one million for married women. Their work demonstrates a need for mental health professionals engaged in the work of child custodyand divorce to educate the public about the real everyday, lived experiences of the children impacted by domestic abuse.  Cartright (2006) conducted life-story interviews in New Zealand with 40 young adults between the ages of 19 and 29. These young adults had varied cultural backgrounds and had experienced parental divorce or separation during either childhood or adolescence. A minority of these children were positive about their parents’ separation, whereas the majority of the participants reported they had or were experiencing problems in everyday
  • 34. functioning, and problems with intimate relationships and family members, particularly with parents.  Ahrons (2004) provided an excellent example of a longitudinal study that supports this consensus. Interviewing 173 grown children whose divorcing parents she had conferred with 20 years earlier, Ahrons was able to demonstrate their resiliency. Her research was one of the first longitudinal investigations to use a random sample, focus on a broad range of divorced families, and include parents, children, and stepparents in one study. Using telephone interviews, she located 173 adult children from 84 of the 98 families she had initially interviewed. She inquired how pastand current co- parenting relationships affected the present quality of their parent–child relationships. Four major constructs represented the dependent variables in this study: 1. The quality of each parent–child relationship. 2. The absence or presence of loyalty conflicts and intensity of such conflicts. 3. The binuclear family cohesion. 4. The adult child’s self-assessment of the long-term effects of his or her parents’ divorce. Several analytic techniques, including cluster analysis and analysis of variance (ANOVA), were used to determine family functioning. Ahrons’s (2004) findings demonstrate that parental divorce does not necessarily condemn children to lives of misery. Rather, the storm clouds surrounding their parents’ marriages eventually disintegrated, and familial relationships eventually became serene.  Joint custody—new reports on sole versus joint custodyindicate that the latter has a positive influence on children’s adjustment (Bausermann, 2002;
  • 35. Lee, 2002); Lee found that children adjusted positively when they resided in two homes, but high parental conflict suppressed theseeffects.  The single-parent family or lone-parent family is a new family pattern that emerged from the refusal of the marital relationship rather than the parental, and demonstrates the variety in the structure and form of the family without degrading its value. The pattern of the single-parent family is found in various types: a) the formal dissolution of marriage, separation/divorce, b) the death of a parent, c) the voluntary single paretnhood-single mother and d) the informal dissolution of marriage, after abandonment of the family by one parent. The key reasons for the evolution of the phenomenon are located into four categories of factors: a) socio-economic factors, b) demographic factors, c) factors related to family functioning and d) other individual factors. Especially, in the early stages of entry into single-parenthood, behavior is characterized by isolation tendencies and outbursts of aggression. Provided that the most critical factor for the adjustment of the child is satisfied, i.e. a stable affective relationship between the child and both parents, within two years the child will have a smoothpsychosocial development (Babalis, 2011).  Children of single-parent families are being ranked in high risk groups not only as far as the risk of educational failure is concerned, but also regarding the possibility of social progress and acquisition of emotional wellbeing and mental resilience, i.e. psychosocialadjustment. Initially the family and then the schoolare invited to meet the psychosocial needs of children, which are stemming both from the social relationships with others and from the actual nature of the individual. The most common reactions of children in divorce are related to changes in behavior, such as aggression, limited interpersonal relationships, anger towards their parents, insecurity, fear of abandonment by
  • 36. one or both parents and feelings of guilt (Hetherington, 2002a; Wallerstein & Lewis, 2004).  Kauffman (2000) argues that children with behavioral problems are those that react abnormally in their environment in unsuccessfulsocial and personal ways, which however can be improved through organized and systematic intervention.  Among the factors associated with the occurrence and prevalence of behavior problems are the gender and age of children. Specifically, boys and preschoolage children and adolescents show higher rates of behavioral problems than girls and students in childhood upon entering the single parenthood (Manolitsis & Tafa, 2005).  Adjustment difficulties in schoolare related to problems in interpersonal and intrapersonal behavior. And while often single parents argue that single parenthood alone is not associated with the poorschoolperformance of their children (Pliogkou, 2011), international literature (Amato, 2001) highlights the effect of family type on general academic performance of children.  “First, children who grow up in an intact, two-parent family with both biological parents present do better on a wide range of outcomes than children who grow up in a single-parent family. Single parenthood is not the only, nor even the most important, cause of the higher rates of school dropout, teenage pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, or other negative outcomes we see; but it does contribute independently to these problems. Neither does single parenthood guarantee that children will not succeed; many, if not most, children who grow up in a single-parent household do succeed.”(Berlin, 2004, Online)
  • 37. Discussion: Divorce can have a dire effect, but fortunately, as a parent you can protect your child from the negative ramifications of divorce. While your child may be aware of the catalyst, they may feel insecure and taking personalownership of the divorce. Be certain to reassure your child by expressing your love and sincere admiration. Do not blame your child for your divorce. Do not allow others to lay blame or shame upon the life of your child. Furthermore, be certain to remind your child that they are welcome to share and request help. Children need to be capable of expressing emotional, mental, physical and psychological pain. Your child may need an outlet to express his or her pain. If so, contact a practitioner who is capable of offering professional help. HOW TO PROTECT THECHILD FROM THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE? First of all, divorce is a reality of our society. If divorce is on your horizon, understand that you are not alone, a bad person, a terrible parent, or in a minority group of people choosing the pathway of divorce. Moreover, divorce happens amongst good people. Unfortunately, not everyone is meant to be together and/or to stay together; the reality is, it is better to divorce than to remain in a relationship that is spiralling downward. “Parents who are going through divorce often believe that shielding children from the stress of the situation is in the children’s best interest. But regardless of their parents’ good intentions, children often find themselves caught in an emotional whirlpool during these times. Instead of protection, they need support and reassurance during this temporarily stressful time.” (NCSU, 2014, Online) DIVORCE IS NOT AN INDICATOR OF YOUR WORTH:
  • 38. While divorce is a perceivable failure, failure in itself is not a bad thing. Failure is nothing more than a weakness or limitation, and fortunately, both can be strengthened. A weakness or limitation is good. Acknowledgement of a weakness or limitation is the recognition that you, or we, have an ability to improve or make a marked change in our lives. It is when something is clearly noticeable or evident that people recognize our desire for improvement. Remember this your worthiness is not and should not be defined, by your successes oryour failures. Your worthiness and acceptability are inherently an attribute of your internal personhood. INSULATING THE CHILD FROM THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE: As a parent, it is natural to be concerned with the well-being of your child. Whether or not, you suspectthat your child has been, or will be, negatively effected by the divorce; it is highly recommended that you seek the advice from a professional practitioner. A professional practitioner is a person who is actively engaged in the art of counselling, psychotherapy, and psychology. Such practitioners can offer an ear to hear and the encouragement to voice one’s perceptional concerns. It is always important that you consider the sourceof your advice. We have all encountered well meaning individuals, but well meaning individuals can be wrong. Be certain that you seek out advice from those who are professionally trained. Anyone can dispense advice, but to be certain that you have received advice that is credible, sound, and legitimate may require a professional. As parents, be certain about the following: 1. Actively Communicate. As a parent, it is highly recommend that you have regular and active communications with your child. Be certain that your communications are balanced and focused on healthy conversations. Sway away
  • 39. from focusing on negative communication. Rather focus your attention and the conversation on positive communications. 2. Actively Listen. Active listening is providing your full attention to a verbal or nonverbal communication. Be certain to take notice of and act on what someone says, by responding with verbal or nonverbal acknowledgement. Being acknowledged allows the sender to feel heard and respected. 3. Set Goals. Goal setting can refocus your attention, thus offering you a roadmap of your desires. Be certain to set goals that are obtainable within the timeframe with which you desire to achieve them. For children, setting goals will help them to refocus their minds from the negative of the divorce onto a new positive perspective in life. Set goals that you and/or your child are realistically going to achieve, but be certain to set goals that will cause you to reach for the stars. 4. Avoid Unhealthy Relationships. People who are in unhealthy relationships are more apt to feel physically and psychologically miserable, fatigued and stressed. Be certain that who ever you invite into your life is complimentary of your person. Avoid relationships that are offering you negativity and hostility. 5. Deny the Negative. Negative communication and thoughts can have an egregious impact on your being. Be certain to focus your thoughts on the positive perspectives and aspects of your life. Avoid sending or receiving negative information about your ex-spouse. 6. Avoid Making Your Child a Pawn. Your child should not be made pawn in your conversation or relationship. Absolutely avoid using your child as a game piece for negotiating, threatening, and/or brokering deals with your ex. You should always be a respecter of your child. Do not be drawn into any games or tempted to play games with your child’s life. 7. Change Your Perceptional Mind. “You can change your perception. Changing your perceptions takes effort, desire, purpose, and intent. We all have pasts;how we perceive the past influences our present.” (Brown, 2010, p. 58)
  • 40. For many, relationships are central to one’s personal identity. Do not allow yourself to feel as though you are no longer worthy because your relationship has dissolved. Focus your attention on the life of your child, but most importantly, on the unique opportunity that you have been given to live this precious life. 8. Know Your Triggers. Be aware of your person. Make a mental note of what stimulates your negative way of thinking. Identifying the trigger is half the battle won, then devise a mental plan to diffuse your negative thoughts and perceptions. Do not allow your partner to abuse or use your emotional triggers. 9. Physical Exercise. Physical exercise is vitally important to your mental and physical health. “Regular exercise or physical activity helps many of the body’s systems function better, keeps heart disease, diabetes, and a host of other diseases at bay, and is a key ingredient for losing weight.” (HSPH, 2014, Online) Physical exercise is a good way to release endorphins which is responsible regulating your emotions and boosting your mood. Consider implementing a regular routine of exercise to counterbalance depression, negative thoughts and negative desires. 10. “Mental Health. It’s the way your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors affect your life. Good mental health leads to positive self-image and in turn, satisfying relationships with friends and others. Having good mental health helps you make good decisions and deal with life’s challenges at home, work, or school.” (APA, 2014, Online) 11. “Restyour mind. According to APA’s 2012 Stress in America survey, stress keeps more than 40 percent of adults lying awake at night. To help ensure you get the recommended seven or eight hours of shut-eye, cut back on caffeine, remove distractions such as television or computers from your bedroomand go to bed at the same time each night. Research shows that activities like yoga and relaxation exercises not only help reducestress, but also boostimmune functioning.” (Krantz, et. al., 2012, Online)
  • 41. 12. Consider helping others. “Studies have shown that helping others helps you, too.”(Oz & Roizen, 2013, Online) Be certain to focus your attention on helping others. Thosewho are in the midst of a divorce may be tempted to get wrapped up in the negativity of the divorce. Do not allow your self to become a causality of the divorce. While you and your child will certainly be effected by the divorce, be certain not to focus your time and attention on positive perspectives of life. 13. Avoid the Shame and Blame Game. Be certain to do your bestto avoid laying shame or blame on your own person, on your life of your child, and/or on your spouse. 14. Strive for balance. Be certain to strive for a balanced life. It is important to enjoy the life you are living. Following a divorce, many people will become virtual hermits avoiding others from the perception of embarrassment and shame. Do not allow yourself to feel shame or embarrassment, such feelings are not uplifting or psychologically comforting. As a parent, be diligent to find ways to encourage your child to express his or her feelings. Parents, teachers and practitioners can encourage children to express emotions behind the divorce by being creative through art, music, and/or journaling. The younger the child, the more likely the child will have difficulty expressing his or her feelings. Younger children may be best served through play or art therapy. Forparents of younger children, be certain to remain a parent. Children need to be reassured of their worthiness, approval, acceptance, and most of all, your unconditional love. As a parent, you may find that reading books may help prove as a source of encouragement. Finally, as a parent, you may find that you and your entire family may benefit from the services of a counselor, psychotherapist and/or psychologist. While divorce may prove inevitable, it is highly recommended that both parents attend therapy for the
  • 42. good of the children. Children often feel as though parents simply “give-up”, because they do not perceive the parents seeking out resources for resolution. Whether or not you chooseto divorce, remember to be diligent to work together in amicable spirit. The friendlier you are to one another, the easier it is for your child to begin the process ofhealth and recovery. Some things that one can do to enhance a child's adjustment are the following:- 1) Prior to the separation, it may be helpful for both parents to discuss the impending divorce at a level appropriate for the child; 2) Be available to answer questions; 3) Read age appropriate books ondivorce with your child; 4) Reassure the child divorce is not his or her fault; 5) Let the child know that you will bothcontinue to love him; 6) Put child's needs first; 7) Do not argue with other parent in front of the child; 8) Do not expect your child to meet your emotional needs; 9) Be consistent in your parenting; 10) Make visitations regular and predictable;
  • 43. 11) Let the child know that you will tell other important people in case he or she would like to seek supportfrom these people 12) Do not be openly critical of other parent; 13) Do not interrogate child about visits with other parent, and most importantly be sensitive to your child's emotional needs. Key learnings:  Divorce introduces a massive change into the life of a boy orgirl no matter what the age.  Divorce tends to intensify the child's dependence, it often elicits a more regressive response in the child.  For the young child, divorce shakes trust in dependency on parents who now behave in an extremely undependable way.  The dependent child's shortterm reaction to divorce can be an anxious one. So much is different, new, unpredictable, and unknown that life becomes filled with scary questions? "What is going to happen to next?" "Who will take care of me?" "If my parents can lose for each other, can they lose love for me?" "With one parent moving out, what if I lose the other too?" Answering such worry questions with worst fears, the child's responsecan be regressive.
  • 44.  Main aspects of the psychology of Divorce are emotions , behaviour , mental health and thought process.  Psychological effects of divorce on the patient as well as their families can be anxiety , depression , psychological distress , suicidal ideation  In a 2002 study psychologist E. Mavis Hetherington of the University of Virginia and her then graduate student Anne Mitchell Elmore found that many children experience short-term negative effects from divorce, especially anxiety, anger, shock and disbelief. These reactions typically diminish or disappear by the end of the second year. Only a minority of kids suffer longer.  Divorced children experience less financial security, lower academic achievement, more alcohol and cigarette use, and lower rates of employment as young adults.  Divorce is emotionally draining for everyone involved.  Divorce is almost always stressful for children. Most children do not want their parents to separate (unless the marriage was full of intense conflict and anger or other sources of misery not suitable for children). References: Amato, P. R. (2001). Children of divorce in the 1990s: An update of the Amato and Keith (1991) meta-analysis. Journal of Family Psychology, 15, 355-370. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0893-3200.15.3.355
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