The document contains drafts and revisions of a personal statement for university application. The initial draft introduces the applicant's long-standing interest in media from studying it in school and seeing the various career paths. It describes skills learned in college courses related to cameras, software, and media production. After researching what makes a strong personal statement, the applicant revises to focus each paragraph on introducing themselves, discussing relevant coursework and skills developed, work experience, and hobbies that demonstrate qualities for the program. Feedback is provided on revising sentences to be more compelling. An additional paragraph is added about creative projects completed in college that mirror industry expectations. The final draft incorporates the revisions to strengthen the statement.

1. Drafts of
personal
statements
and
research

2. 1st draft
I am applying for this course as I have always had an
interest in media since a young age. I have also studied
media in school at GCSE and I found that course very
interesting. there is also a lot of different career options
in the media industry. Since I studied media at GCSE, I
think that I would be prepared for this because I would
have a base level understanding of media. This course
would help me for the world after education as I have
learned many different skills such as how to use industry
standard editing software such as premiere pro and
photoshop, I have learned how to use cameras and shoot
different camera angles and what each camera angle can
be used for.
I am currently working towards a level 3 foundation
degree in creative media other qualifications that I have
include my GCSEs.
I gained new skill when I visited Sunderland university
and we done a workshop with spark radio that helped
develop new skills. Some of the skills I gained were
communication teamwork and confidence. Another skill I
learned would be when we went to the BBC comedy
festival at Newcastle and got to meet people who work in
the media industry.
I would like to pass this course at the end of this year. in
the future I see myself in a job related to media.

3. Researching what
makes a good
personal statement
• After I finished the first draft of my personal statement I
decided that I did not like it as I thought that it would
not appeal to university's and I thought that I would
make a newer more recent and abetter personal
statement.
• Firsts I researched the structure of a personal statement
this includes what each paragraph should tell the reader
• 1st paragraph: the first paragraph should introduce your
self and explain why you are interested in the course you
should not name university's as you only do one
personal statement that gets sent to each of the
university’s you apply for. You could also right about how
you are passionate for the course and how you think
that the course will help you with your career path.
• 2nd paragraph: the second paragraph is about course
information in this course you should talk about how
skills have developed through you college studies, you
could also talk about how these skills will help you with
your chosen degree
• 3rd paragraph: the third paragraph you could talk about
and work experience or any volunteer work you have
done and the skills you have gained from this.
• 4th paragraph: the forth paragraph is about any hobby's
or volunteering and how the skills from that could apply
to the course . Personal qualities
• conclusion: say why you would be good demonstrate
the relevant skills and qualities

4. 2nd draft
I have been passionate about media since a young age when I would always watch tv and movies. I
first started media studies at gcse this really got me passionate about the industry due to the
number of different jobs that where available I also like how media involves creativity and creative
ideas this really interested me as I feel that I am more of a creative person and prefer doing
creative tasks as I feel like I excel more while doing them Since starting creative media at college
my interest has grown, and I now know what career path I would like to go down that would be
either an editor or director in the film and tv industry, I think this would help me develop some of
my skills such as my technical skills. I think media is important as everyone uses media in there day
to day life in some shape or form whether that be social media or print media (newspapers and
magazines) or if they watch film or tv. That is also the reason why I want to work in the media
industry as it is so important and influential.
In college I study creative media I feel like this course has really supported and encouraged me to
follow my career goal. I have learned many new skills and been able to develop many skills such as
developing my IT skills. I got to learn and develop some of my practical skills such as using cameras
and different camera equipment such as tripods microphones and lighting. I have also learned how
to use different software such as adobe premiere pro, photoshop and logic pro x. studying creative
media has also helped me to develop some skills that I learned in media studies in secondary
school these skills include media analysis and my understanding of media theory’s and how I can
apply them into my own work. Being able to make my own pieces of media in college has helped
me improve my communication, leadership and my problem-solving skills.
Doing work experience has helped me as I am learning new skills and I get to meet many new
people from different cultures and backgrounds this has also helped me with my communication
skills. I started my work experience this year as a volunteer at yav, a charity and youth organisation
for young people in Sunderland. While working here I was able to learn many different skills, some
that help me improve in areas of media and some general skills that I was able to improve. An
example of this would be I got to help make a stop motion I had previously had zero interest in
stop motions but being able to work on it helped me develop my technical skills. Other skills that I
got to improve on was my time management this includes making sure that I was on time and
making sure that I use my time there wisely and spend it doing work that is useful.
In daily life I have been learning to speak Dutch for over 175 days without missing a day this shows
that I am determined to reach my goal and that I have good time management skills as I set five
minutes out of my day to practice. I am also a purple belt in karate. Karate has helped me improve
my decision-making skills as I must make quick decisions while fighting a different opponent. I also
use my time management skills at karate as I balance my college and work hours with karate
classes. As well as learning karate and Dutch I am also very passionate about the drag industry, and
I enjoy going to see lots of different drag performances. There are many different things that I
enjoy about the drag industry including the makeup and the talented performers it would be
amazing to work alongside them some day. In my spare time I also like making edits of different tv
shows and films that I like this helps me improve my technical and editing skills.
I think university’s should pick me as I am hardworking and willing to learn new skills that will help
me achieve my career goal in the media industry.

5. Feedback and
improvements
Original sentence: I have been passionate about media since a young
age when I would always watch tv and movies.
Improvement: I have been passionate about media since a young age
when I would always and would be interested in the behind the scenes
of tv and movies – the processes media product go through from initial
ideas through to what we finally see on screen has always fascinated
me.
Original sentence: I think university’s should pick me as I am
hardworking and willing to learn new skills that will help me achieve
my career goal in the media industry.
Improvement: I am hardworking and willing to learn new skills that will
help me achieve my career goal in the media industry. I am confident
that I can display the personal qualities needed to do well in Higher
Education and hope you take my application into consideration.
I also added an extra paragraph that was related about my college
course assignment briefs and what the where about.
Added paragraph: My current course requires me to complete creative
briefs that mirror what may be expected of me in industry. In my time
at college, I have created a TV advert and podcast for the charity Mind,
a post campaign for Canon Cameras, and a documentary on digital
technologies intended for BBC Three. My major project for my second
year is a short fictional film, where I will be able to develop and
express my original ideas even more. Each project has required me to
develop a through pre-production, manage a shoot and then complete
extensive post-production work, so I have gain invaluable skill in all
aspects of project managing.

6. 3rd draft
I have been passionate about media since a young age when I would always and would be
interested in the behind the scenes of tv and movies – the processes media product go through
from initial ideas through to what we finally see on screen has always fascinated me. I first started
media studies at GCSE level, and this really got me passionate about the industry due to the
number of different jobs that where available, and all the career possibilities that lie within the
industry. I really like how media involves creativity and creative ideas, as I feel that I am more of a
creative person and this approach fits my skill and personality well. In the future I would love to
see myself as a director or an editor, helping shape film and TV projects.
In college I study creative media I feel like this course has really supported and encouraged me to
follow my career goal. I have learned many new skills and been able to develop many skills such as
developing my IT skills. I got to learn and develop some of my practical skills such as using cameras
and different camera equipment such as tripods microphones and lighting. I have also learned how
to use different software such as Adobe Premiere Pro, Photoshop and Logic Pro X. Studying
creative media has also helped me to develop some skills that I learned in media studies in
secondary school these skills include media analysis and my understanding of media theories and
how I can apply them into my own work. Being able to make my own pieces of media in college has
helped me improve my communication, leadership and my problem-solving skills.
My current course requires me to complete creative briefs that mirror what may be expected of
me in industry. In my time at college, I have created a TV advert and podcast for the charity Mind,
a post campaign for Canon Cameras, and a documentary on digital technologies intended for BBC
Three. My major project for my second year is a short fictional film, where I will be able to develop
and express my original ideas even more. Each project has required me to develop a through pre-
production, manage a shoot and then complete extensive post-production work, so I have gain
invaluable skill in all aspects of project managing.
Doing work experience has helped me as I am learning new skills and I get to meet many new
people from different cultures and backgrounds this has also helped me with my communication
skills. I started my work experience this year as a volunteer at YAV, a charity and youth organisation
for young people in Sunderland. While working here I was able to learn many different skills, some
that help me improve in areas of media and some general skills that I was able to improve. An
example of this would be I got to help make a stop motion I had previously had zero interest in
stop motions but being able to work on it helped me develop my technical skills. Other skills that I
got to improve on was my time management this includes making sure that I was on time and
making sure that I use my time there wisely and spend it doing work that is useful.
In daily life I have been learning to speak Dutch for over 175 days without missing a day; this shows
that I am determined to reach my goal and that I have good time management skills as I set five
minutes out of my day to practice. I am also a purple belt in karate. Karate has helped me improve
my decision-making skills as I must make quick decisions while fighting a different opponent. I also
use my time management skills at karate as I balance my college and work hours with karate
classes. Both hobbies require me to me methodical, organised and disciplined, which are
important transferrable qualities I can use in my academic career to ensure I succeed. As well as
learning karate and Dutch I am also very passionate about the drag industry, and I enjoy going to
see lots of different drag performances. There are many different things that I enjoy about the drag
industry including the makeup and the talented performers it would be amazing to work alongside
them some day. In my spare time I also like making edits of different tv shows and films that I like
this helps me improve my technical and editing skills.
I am hardworking and willing to learn new skills that will help me achieve my career goal in the
media industry. I am confident that I can display the personal qualities needed to do well in Higher
Education and hope you take my application into consideration.

7. Draft sent to UCAS
I've been passionate about media since a young age when I would be interested in the behind
the scenes of tv and movies - the processes media product go through from initial ideas
through to what we finally see on screen has always fascinated me. I first started media
studies at GCSE level, and this really got me passionate about the industry due to the number
of different jobs that where available, and all the different careers in the industry. I like
how media involves creativity and creative ideas, as I feel I am more of a creative person and
this approach fits my skill and personality . In the future I would love to see myself as a
director or an editor, helping shape film and TV .
In college I study creative media I feel like this course has really supported and encouraged
me to follow my career goal. I have learned new skills and I got to develop many skills such
as my IT skills. I got to learn and develop some of my practical skills such as using cameras
and camera equipment such as tripods, and lighting. I have learned how to use different
software such as Adobe Premiere Pro, and Logic Pro X. Studying creative media has helped me to
develop some skills that I learned in media studies at GCSE these include media analysis and
my understanding of media theories and how I can apply them into my own work. Being able to
make my own pieces of media in college has helped me improve my , leadership and me
problem-solving skills.
My current course requires me to complete creative briefs that mirror what may be expected of
me in industry. In my time at college, I have created a TV advert and podcast for the charity
Mind, a print advert for Canon Cameras, and a documentary on digital technologies intended for
BBC 3. My major project for my second year is a short fictional film, where I will be able to
develop and show my original ideas even more. Each project has required me to develop a
through pre-production, manage a shoot and then complete post-production work, so I have
gained valuable skills in all aspects of my project managing.
I started my work experience this year as a volunteer at YAV, a charity and youth group for
young people in Sunderland. I am learning new skills and I get to meet many new people from
different cultures and backgrounds this has helped me with my communication skills. While
working here I was able to learn many different skills, some that help me improve in areas of
media and some general skills . An example of this would be I got to help make a short film
being able to work on it helped me develop my technical and leadership skills. Other skills I
got to improve on was my time management this includes making sure that I was on time and
making sure that I use my time there wisely.
In daily life I have been learning to speak Dutch for over 175 days without missing a day;
this shows that I am determined to reach my goal and that I have good time management skills
as I set five minutes out of my day to practice. I am also a purple belt in karate. Karate has
helped me improve my decision-making skills as I must make quick decisions while fighting
different opponents. Both hobbies require me to me methodical, organized and disciplined,
which are important transferrable qualities I can use in my academic career to ensure I
succeed. As well as learning karate and Dutch I am also very passionate about the drag
industry, There are many different things that I enjoy about the drag industry including the
makeup and the talented performers it would be amazing to work alongside them some day. In me
spare time I also like making edits of different tv shows and films that I like this helps me
improve my technical and editing skills.
I'm hardworking and willing to learn new skills that will help me achieve my career goal in
the media industry. I am confident that I can display the personal qualities needed to do well
in Higher Education and hope you take my application into consideration.