An English magazine for the Parent in You. Read more of the November issue in www.parentcircle.in

1. editorial
For the Parent connect in you
To know, to understand, to
I
recently came across an article on MSNBC that was titled: ‘Did Being Adopted Contribute to
Steve Job’s Success?’ In this article, the author, Jeremy Greenberg comments, “I actually think
that adopted kids like Mr Jobs might grow up to have an abundance of faith and confidence,
because they get to experience the remarkable love and generosity of their adoptive parents – people
with the exceptional capacity to take any child as their own.” He concludes with the statement, “Who
couldn’t conquer the world (or at least create the iPad) with that kind of foundation?”
Our cover story, ‘Opt to Adopt’, features adoptive parents, who in turn feel blessed for the child that
has entered their lives in such a special way.
Today we have a lot of options and changes happening across school boards and curriculums. At the
state level the Matriculation, Anglo Indian and State boards are all merging into one Samacheer Kalvi.
In the CBSE (and soon in Samacheer Kalvi) there is a change in the evaluation process from the
summative testing (tests and exams) to the formative testing of the Continuous Curriculum Evaluation
Find us on
(CCE). Also, today we have a choice of international boards such as the IGCSE and IB.
What does all this mean? How do I know what is best for my child? In our special story on, “The
Curriculum Dilemma”, we try to answer some of these questions, so you the parent can make a more
informed decision for your child. It is not only important to understand what each board has to offer, it
is equally important to know and understand your child’s aptitude and learning style, so that you may
select a school where the child is most comfortable learning.
Our Teen Circle introduces a topic that most parents are uncomfortable discussing with their children
– puberty. In today’s world where information is freely accessible, it is important for the parent to
openly discuss this issue with the child and clarify any misinformation the child may be exposed to.
We now have our magazine online for you to read. We encourage you to participate in our online
discussions and to share your articles, recipes or pictures with other parents at www.parentcircle.in.
With all this discussion on the best curriculum for your child it is important to keep in mind the Chinese
Proverb: “Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself.”
Nalina Ramalakshmi
PUBLISHER & EDITOR-IN-CHIEF CREATIVE HEAD ADVERTISING PUBLISHED BY
Nalina Ramalakshmi Rangashree Srinivas General Manager Nalina Ramalakshmi
MANAGING EDITOR VISUALISER S Visalam Director, Shri Harini Media Pvt. Ltd.
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appearing in this publication, represent the views of its respective authors and does not necessarily carry the endorsement of the publishers. Information carried in Parent call 044 24461066/67/68 or
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www.parentcircle.in 1

2. COVER STORY P.30
The
Curriculum
Dilemma SPECIAL P.22
Opt to Adopt
CENTRESPREAD P.28
REGULARS
6 IN FOCUS
MINDSET
RESOURCES
10 Help Build your Child’s Self-esteem
20 Helicopter Parenting CHECK IT OUT
50 Board Games of Yore
LEARNING
14 Encouraging Public Speaking in Chidren PARENT CHEF
16 Helping Children with Public Presentations 52 5 Healthy Soups
HEALTH CIRCLE EVENTS
19 Nutritional Deficiencies in Children 54 Chennai this Month
TEEN CIRCLE
42 Talking to your Preteen about Puberty
DESTINATIONS
FORUM
38 God’s Eden: The Valley of Flowers
4 YOUR WORD
ROOTS
46 Heritage Trips Made Fun PARENT EXPRESS
48 The Revival of Traditional Games 8 ‘We wanted to adopt’
LIGHTER VEIN TEEN EXPRESS
56 Voice of Experience 9 Unconditional Love
ON THE COVER ADYANTH GANESH
DISCUSSION POINT
PHOTOGRAPH BY ARJUN DOGRA 55 Pocket Money and your Child
2 Parent Circle / November 2011

3. your word
www.parentcircle.in
Letters to the Editor
A close weaving of Tamil culture is maintained in all the articles,
which is refreshing. The articles in the magazine ensure a feeling
of walking in the morning grass still alive with dew drops.
VENKATRAMAN, A CHENNAI PARENT
My best wishes to Parent Circle on the launch of their website. I
appreciate the authentic information on parenting and other child
related information in your magazine. Wishing you growth
and success.
S JAYANTI, PSYCHOLOGIST, HYDERABAD
The magazine is well-balanced & the different sections take
into account the many facets of parenting & child rearing. The
magazine is also like an ‘advice tool’ which helps the parents
in their parenting role. Especially in today’s world of ‘nuclear
families’, where there is no elder in the house to advise or give
tips on parenting, this kind of help is invaluable. Also for the young
parents, the first timers, it is almost like a step by step guide on
PARENT FORUM
what to do and what not to do.
All in all, it is a complete magazine for all kinds of parents. It is a Dhanya Bhaskaran
very valuable and a well-thought-of magazine! from Ayanambakkam,
MAHIMA BHANUKUMAR, BANGALORE Chennai posted her
nature-loving son
It is a wonderful magazine for all parents in bringing up their Niranjan’s picture in
children. The articles that I read here relate to my experiences in PARENT FORUM.
day to day life. I like the suggestions you give, as they are very
You too can post
helpful and practical. I would also like to make a suggestion. It pictures, share
would be great if you could also publish Parent Circle in Tamil. parenting experiences,
This way it would have a greater reach. It would be very useful to post recipes, videos
those parents who do not know English, but who could definitely and links!
benefit from the articles published in the magazine. In fact, I have
been asked whether there is a Tamil edition of this magazine by Post Comments on Discussion Board
many parents on several occasions.
Post announcements on Message Board
P WILLIAM CHARLES, CHENNAI
Participate in Quiz and Polls
Sign up to start a Parent Circle
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15, 2011, to editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri n Apply for JOBS n CONTACT US n Send us FEEDBACK
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ALL RESOURCES LISTED IN THE WEBSITE CURRENTLY PERTAIN ONLY TO CHENNAI
4 Parent Circle / November 2011

4. in focus
Kids taught to deal with
differently-abled siblings
LUCKNOW: Siblings of differently-abled children had an
opportunity to learn to deal with their brothers and sisters on
September 11, 2011. In a sibling workshop organised by SPARC
India, (School for Potential Advancement and Restoration
of Confidence), boys and girls were sensitised about their
responsibilities towards their challenged siblings.
18 year old Arun Vajpai scales new heights
The counsellor through a play, created an awareness on handling
and cooperating with the differently-abled people. The siblings Arjun Vajpai, a student of Ryan International School created
were taught to be polite and patient in dealing with them. There history on the morning of October 14, 2011. He not only
were various activities to motivate the children and to spread the became the youngest person in the world to have reached
message of love to their not so fortunate siblings. the summit of Mt. Manaslu (8,163 meters), the eighth highest
peak in the world but also became the youngest person in
the world to have climbed three mountains of more than 8000
Cops to counsel parents, school meters height.
authorities if minors caught driving Arjun Vajpai was successful in this endeavour after
NEW DELHI: The Delhi traffic police has adopted a four-pronged negotiating with the ever-changing extreme weather
approach to desist minors from driving vehicles in the city. The conditions. He started his climb on 1st October 2011. There
police have decided to detain the vehicle, call the parents of the was a hitch in the beginning of the expedition where the
child for counselling and issue a fine of `1000 for allowing children weather played the spoilsport. But once that hurdle was
to drive their vehicle. In addition, they have decided to counsel cleared, there was no looking back.
the school authorities on the measures to be taken if the students
were found parking and driving vehicles right outside the The summits became steeper during the climb. Arjun had to
school premises. cross tributaries along with the camping load and equipment.
After reaching the peak the 18-year-old said, “this summit is
The traffic police are checking for violations after school hours such a small place that only one person can stand at a time.
when most of the children could be noticed driving outside their The wind was blowing at a high speed due to which it was
schools. Earlier, senior traffic cops had met the principals and very difficult to hold the tri-colour. I unfurled the flag of India
teachers of 45 leading schools of Delhi that are part of the Road and the flag of ESSAR foundation at the top…and what a
Safety Club. This club was formed with 25 schools last year moment it was…If I close my eyes now I can still feel the wind
before the Commonwealth Games. blowing on me on TOP OF THE WORLD!”
Kids to learn fielding 'Jonty's Way'
MUMBAI: Mumbai based Omtex Sport Academy launched "Jonty's Way", a
specially-designed programme to change the concept of fielding.
Talking about the programme which was designed by Rhodes himself, the
former South Africa cricketer said that India has talented fielders like Virat Kohli,
Suresh Raina and Yuvraj Singh, but more were required to make a strong
impact at the international level. Jonty's Way will provide professional training
to cricket associations, schools, clubs and players of all age groups for periods
ranging from three to fifteen days.
6 Parent Circle / November 2011

5. How are A home, clothing, food and security: Every child has
India’s the right to a home, food, clothing, education, health care
children? and security. More than 4 out of 10 children in India live in
India has extreme poverty with less than $1.25 (`55) a day to live on.
ratified Protection against violence: Children have the right to be
(signed) the protected against all forms of violence, including neglect,
UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. This means that India maltreatment and abuse. No child can hurt or abuse another child.
must respect the rights of the child and listen to what children have Indian schools have banned corporal punishment since July 2010.
to say. Are the rights of the child respected in India? Hazardous child labour: The child has the right to be protected
The first fact: Of the 1.2 billion population, more than 447 million against both economic exploitation and work that is hazardous to
are children, of which 127 million children are under the age of five. his health or that which prevents him from going to school. All work
Name and nationality: From the day a child is born, he/she has is prohibited for children under 12 years. An estimated 30 million
the right to have a name and be registered as a citizen of this children in India are working in some way.
country. 27 million children are born every year in India. 6 out of 10 School and education: The child has the right to go to school.
of them are never registered. There is no documented proof that Primary and secondary schools should be free for everyone. 8 out
they exist! of 10 children in India go to school, but many of them leave school
The right to live: 1 out of 14 children in India (more than 1.8 too early.
million every year) dies before the age of 5, usually due to causes THE CHILD’S VOICE MUST BE HEARD! The child has the
that could have been prevented. 25 million children are orphaned. right to say what he thinks about any issue that affects him/her.
Water, sanitation facilities: 9 out of 10 children in India have The adults should listen to the child’s opinion before they make
water from improved water sources. Only 3 out of 10 children can decisions, which must always be in the child’s best interest!
use adequate sanitation facilities. Source: http://worldschildrensprize.org/
Parent Circle’s event
for parents
Be the support that your children need but
let them make their own career choices Panel discussion at the workshop
- that was the underlying message given
to the parents at the ‘Guiding your Guest speaker, N Ilango, a visually- Krishnan, Chief Gardener, Theosophical
child into the future’ event held at the impaired person, who runs a skills training Society; and Navaneetha Rao, a cancer
Bhavan’s Rajaji Vidyashram school by company said “My mother was simple and researcher from the US. Their success
the Parent Circle Magazine and Ignite illiterate, but she ensured that I was able stemmed from following their passions
Minds, an educational sector institution, at to take care of each day as it came, in a despite the challenges and obstacles they
Chennai on October 22. self-reliant way. This is the ultimate desire faced in their career paths.
of every parent for his child, whatever the
Anita Sanyal, a career consultant spoke career. Sometimes education can be a Arundhati Swamy, the President of
on the importance of face to face career stumbling block for parents who forget this Chennai Counsellor’s Foundation
counselling to understand the child’s goal and try to impose their own unfulfilled concluded the session by advising
aptitude and interest. dreams on their children.” parents on the importance of informal
career talks with the child starting at the
Sriram Naganathan, an educationist and The highlight of the event was the 8th standard. “Our parents guided us to
the Managing Trustee of Ignite Minds, panel discussion and a question and face an earlier environment, suitable for
who gave the keynote speech, stressed answer session. The panelists were K those times. We too, need to prepare our
on the important mix of interests, abilities Satyanarayan, co-founder of New Horizon children appropriately for the changing
and income potential for a bright and Media (a publishing company); Poochi dynamics of tomorrow’s world,”
successful career. Venkat, a naturalist and photographer; V she said.
www.parentcircle.in 7

6. parent
express
to Bhubaneswar with her to complete
‘We
the medical tests suggested by our
doctor in Chennai, since there were no
hospitals nearby that would do the tests
we required. The haemoglobin analysis
wanted to
indicated possible health problems which
could not be confirmed without doing a
adopt’
DNA analysis, for which Bhubaneswar
did not have any facilities. We were also
uncomfortable with the attitude and opinion
of the paediatrician in Bhubaneswar.
D ANITA
BY V SATISH AN We came back to Chennai with her
reports and a blood sample to get the
O
the necessity and importance of revealing DNA analysis done. When we received
ur journey to bring Nidhi the child’s adoptive status to him/her. We the report we were relieved and thrilled
home began several then had multiple discussions with our to see that it ruled out the possible health
years ago when we parents and siblings about our decision to concerns indicated earlier. Nidhi was
dreamt of starting a adopt a child. It took us about a month to indeed meant to be with us! Euphoric,
family through adoption. collect all the required documents and we we went back to sign the foster care
From the year 2000, we became more submitted our application form. paperwork to bring her home in May 2010.
and more oriented to this idea. The option
though, of having a biological child had One of the social workers from the ACA While Nidhi continued to grow swiftly, we
always been open to us. During the last visited us at home and prepared our continued to follow up with the agency
ten years, we interacted closely with many home study report. She told us that the and lawyer to fix a date for our court
adoptive families - parents and children. ACA would inform us if they received any hearing. We went for our court hearing in
We strongly felt, beyond any doubt, request for placing children from the state Orissa in June 2011, got our court order
that we should start our family through agencies. She also informed us that there in August 2011 through mail, and went
adoption. It just felt right! were several parents waiting ahead of back there in October 2011 to register
us and that it may take us up to a year the adoption deed. The legal paperwork
We also felt that the total acceptance of to receive a referral to adopt an infant. is now complete and Nidhi has all the
a child not related through blood, could She suggested that we contact various legal rights that our biological child would
only accentuate the importance of the adoption agencies in Tamil Nadu and also have had. The adoption agency in Orissa
parent-child relationship; and that such those from other states (since we were will now apply for her birth certificate and
a love would be truly pure and selfless. willing to travel) to see if they had an infant send it to us as soon as they receive it.
We met several other people who that could be placed with us. We expect this to take another couple of
supported our dream, and there were months. So all in all, the entire adoption
some who expressed some concerns. We began to call up agencies in process from the beginning to the end has
Once we brought Nidhi home though, all Tamil Nadu and Karnataka and were taken us about two years. Meanwhile Nidhi
the concerns and worries disappeared disappointed to hear that the waiting time is growing up and will be 2 years old in
magically. Of course we expected that, but was about 2 years. One of the agencies December! Life has been complete, full of
it was wonderful to see it happen. we contacted in Bangalore asked us to joy and challenges, with her.
get in touch with CSA (Catalyst for Social
We started the adoption process in Action) in Pune. We did, and they put us ANITA AND SATISH ARE A YOUNG COUPLE
October 2009 by visiting the Adoption in touch with an agency in rural Orissa that FROM CHENNAI WHO HAVE RECENTLY
Coordinating Agency (ACA) in Chennai. had a child-referral for us. ADOPTED A GIRL CHILD.
They explained the entire process and Write to us on parenting experiences in 600 words,
also helped us to think through some of We went to see Nidhi in March 2010 when with the subject line ‘Parent Express’ to
editorial@parentcircle.in or send them to PARENT
the post-adoption issues that families may she was three months old, after a long CIRCLE, 3rd Floor Shri Renga Vihar, 8/14 First Cross
encounter. They also talked to us about journey by flight and car. We travelled St, Karpagam Gardens, Adyar, Chennai 600020, India.
8 Parent Circle / November 2011

7. teen
express
Unconditional
BY AVANTIKA SIVARAMAN
I
n life, we all have that someone.
That someone who can make
the world seem like zero gravity
exists. That someone who makes the sky
bluer and makes the sun shine straight
down your path. That someone who can
always put a smile on your face, despite
the stormy conditions you face. It can be
anyone, your father, your mother, your
best friend, your classmate or even your
dog…but, there is always someone. To
you, it seems that whatever that someone
does is miraculous. Such people make the
earth move slowly and give you a feeling
that you have all the time in the world. does, it is a part of life. Reality strikes. heart. Try to not cry when you think about
They make it seem like you have no more Hollow, traumatised and scared, you face them at night. Try not to be sucked into
tears left to cry ever again. That is what reality without your supply of happiness. self-doubt and jealousy and the torture of
you love about them - the way they make Everything seems cold, rigid and insecure. the thought that you are not good enough.
you feel, how they take away every pain You can barely manage a smile. Laughing You see yourself in a mirror and you
imaginable without even knowing that they is unimaginable. Your heart keeps practically smash the mirror to bits.
do so. screaming for them, your mind flashes
images of the times when you were Nothing has ever been comparable to
As time passes, you grow more and more together and pain consumes your being. this kind of pain. It is sharp, crucial and
attached to them, become more and more Whatever should have barely scratched undeniable. How could the person who
dependent on them. You see that they are your self-esteem, now makes massive provided all the happiness bring you
the ones who start showing you the beauty gashes. You are more alone than you ever the worst form of self-doubt? How could
of life, what it is like to trust again and have been. Your source is gone. Life the person who made life so beautiful
breathe freely, without having a care. They is dark. suddenly turn into a source of pain? How
show you what it is like to laugh whole- could the one person you need, not care
heartedly and they give you unadulterated Want to know what could hurt more? If about you?
happiness. The world can never be lighter you find out that someone else is more
than when you are with them. You love the important to them. That there is someone Worst of all, how could you still love this
world the most when you are with them. they care about more than you. Someone person? How could you still see that face
they would much rather be with, than you. and still find the slightest sliver of peace?
The more time you spend with them, Someone, who compared to you, is like
the more you feel that they are a part the sun. They no longer think about you The answer is: unconditional love.
of you. You do not know how to cope as someone special but now they think of Beautiful and heart-wrenching. Filling and
without them. You rely on them more you as someone long gone and of no use. tearing. Powerful and exhausting. Truly
and more and your need for them grows, You see them happy with their special unconditional.
as if they provide all the happiness… someone and all you want to do is fade
What happens when they are suddenly away. You try to scratch such images out AVANTIKA SIVARAMAN IS AN EIGHTH GRADER
not there? Separation comes, it always of your brain, try to rip them out of your STUDYING IN HEBRON SCHOOL, OOTY.
www.parentcircle.in 9

8. learning
Some of them paused and punctuated
their speeches with ‘ums’ and ‘uhs’ to fill
the gaps. Agitation, sheer helplessness
made some quit half-way.
What really tugged at my heartstrings was
when some sought out their parents’ eyes
in the audience or in the wings, with tears,
R
ecently I was asked to judge silently beseeching for help. I noticed that
an Interschool Literary event some got worried at their parent’s reaction
for primary and middle school to their fumbling and some were just plain
children. There were about 15 ashamed or embarrassed that they had let
to 20 schools participating and their parents down.
at least 50 children ranging
between the ages of 6 and 14 I consoled a crying child and then asked
were bursting with enthusiasm him why he was crying. He said, ‘My
to showcase their talent for mother told me not to do so many things,
the oratorical and elocution but she did not tell me what I should do!’
competitions. The younger
children had memorized their Following this, I had yet another occasion
respective poems or speeches during Navarathri to observe this
and the older children had phenomenon. It is also an occasion when
small cards with pertinent children are urged to sing at the houses
points to help them jumpstart they visit. In one of the houses I sensed
their talks. the same unease and nervousness
prevailing in one of the children when she
I looked around and was asked to sing by her mother for the
observed the scene before golu (dolls exhibition). The child started
the start of the event. with hesitation and kept looking at her
Some were practicing mother for direction and reinforcement.
aloud furiously, walking up The mother kept a steady look at the child
and down. I smiled when I saw to ensure she started at the right pitch,
some of them hit their foreheads maintained the raagam and the thalam and
BY MEERA SHIVASHANKAR when they forgot a point or made remembered the words. The look changed
a mistake. The younger ones were to a glare when the child mispronounced
anxiously nodding, looking up a word. The child’s song was barely a
solemnly at their parents as their whisper when she finished. At one point
We should make the attires were being adjusted even as the mother was visibly irritated that her
they were being given last minute tips daughter had not lived up to her usual
child realise that he
about going on stage standard of singing. The child hung her
should focus more on and speaking. head in shame.
enjoying the opportunity While the actual competition itself left THE PARENT’S
me in awe of the children and their RESPONSIBILITY
of speaking and having aptitude, I could not help but be drawn What makes one child so confident
to a handful of those children who forgot and another so self-conscious that it
fun rather than worry all that they had prepared, who started interferes with his natural propensity for
to stutter and stammer. Then there expression? What role do parents play in
about the result! were those who fidgeted or fumbled, this? As parents, are we living our dreams
intimidated by the unrelenting crowd. through our children? Do we ‘accept’ our
14 Parent Circle / November 2011

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18 Parent Circle / November 2011

10. health
circle
Protein and calcium Knock-knees in children
2. Cramps in legs
mineral BENEFITS
1. One of the important macro minerals in
3. Delays in motor
milestones
deficiencies the body.
2. Helps to build strong bones.
4. Heart becomes irregular
5. Weakness of bones
in children 3. It is involved in Neuromuscular, enzymatic,
hormonal, and other metabolic activities.
6. Poor sleep disorder
Long term deficiency leads to osteoporosis.
4. Used in blood clotting, muscle contraction and
Though osteoporosis is the disease of the
BY DR SANTHA NARAYANAN maintenance of cell membranes
elderly, today’s young adults who do not expose
Note 1. Vitamin D or exposure to sunlight
themselves to sunlight and work long hours in
I
increases its absorption.
n the last issue we had AC rooms also suffer this. Excess of calcium
discussed Vitamin and 2. Calcium decreases with ageing.
leads to constipation and loss of appetite.
Iodine deficiencies in 3. 99% is stored in bones and teeth.
children; we are concluding 4. It is not manufactured by body. Hence, FOOD SOURCES Dairy products - milk, cheese,
now with a few more supplementation is a must. yoghurt, salmon fish, green-leafy-vegetables
nutritional deficiencies. SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY such as broccoli, spinach, calcium fortified foods,
1. Bowlegs/ Pigeon breast/ ice creams.
protein iron
BENEFITS An important component BENEFITS Iron is essential for the child’s
of every cell in the body, protein is growth and development. It moves oxygen
needed to build strong structures in from the lungs to the rest of the body and
the body (bones, muscles, tendons, helps the muscles to use and store oxygen.
ligaments), to rebuild body tissues
CHILDREN AT RISK OF FACING IRON DEFICIENCY ARE:
and to produce enzymes.
1. Babies born prematurely or having low birth weight
Protein Energy Malnutrition (P.E.M) It is a manifestation of chronic 2. Babies on cow’s milk before the age of 1
under-nutrition, consuming food with insufficient protein energy or 3. Breast-fed babies who are not given iron after six months
both. Both Marasmus and Kwashiorkor come under the 4. Babies on formula which is not fortified with Iron
P.E.M. category. 5. Children with chronic infections or restricted diets
CAUSES FOR KWASHIORKOR 6. Children who drink more than 700 ml of cow’s, soy or goat
1. Early weaning and feeding of starch rich cereals. milk everyday
2. A diet high in starch and low in proteins. 7. Adolescent girls who lose Iron during menstruation
SYMPTOMS SYMPTOMS OF DEFICIENCY
1. Fluid collection in the body. 4. Skin changes 1. Fatigue or weakness 6. Inflammation of the tongue
2. Thin extremities 5. Brittle hair- flag sign 2. Pale skin 7. Susceptibility to infections
3. Liver enlargement 6. Constipation 3. Poor appetite 8. Irregular heart beat
4. Shortness of breath 9. Behavioural problems
In Marasmus, the body utilizes its own tissue for energy and 5. Irritability 10. Unusual craving for other non-
appears skeleton like. Children also have: nutritive substances like sand.
1. Poor appetite 4. Dry skin Untreated Iron deficiency in children can cause physical and mental
2. Sparse hair 5. Low body temperature delays in areas such as walking or talking.
3. Anxious look
PREVENTION
TREATMENT 1. Breast feed or give iron-fortified formula to infants
1. Provide adequate nutrition 2. Encourage a balanced diet
2. I.V fluids if necessary 3. Enhance absorption with Vitamin C
3. Treat underlying infections 4. Give iron supplements
Breast-feeding a baby up to six months is the best way to prevent FOOD SOURCES Lean red meat, seafoods, all kinds of beans,
childhood malnutrition. greens, tofu, broccoli, drumsticks, brussel sprouts, nuts and dried
FOOD SOURCES Dairy and egg products, meat, fish, grains, fruits, egg yolk.
nuts, beans DR SANTHA NARAYANAN IS A PRACTISING PAEDIATRICIAN FROM CHENNAI.
www.parentcircle.in 19

11. mindset
A
re you watching over
Helicopter
what your child
is doing, and not
doing, every day?
Parenting
Do you plan and
schedule most
of your child’s
activities?
Do you actually do BY SRIRAM NAGANATHAN
and not merely help
with the homework
that your child is
supposed to do? Being an
over-involved
If your child is at
home and if you are parent will
away, do you call her (or eventually
someone who is at home)
from your cell phone every drive you
now and then to check what nuts.
she is up to?
If your answer is ‘yes’ to these
questions, and if you are wondering what
could be wrong with your actions, watch
out, you are in a psychological danger
zone - you could be a ‘Helicopter Parent’,
causing more harm than good to
your child!
Consider yourself a
Foster W Cline, MD and Jim Fay coined WHAT HELICOPTER Helicopter Parent if you:
the term ‘Helicopter Parent’ while PARENTING DOES TO
discussing ineffective parenting styles YOUR CHILD p Feel ashamed when your child fails,
in their book Parenting with Love You may have the best of intentions, but or fails to meet expectations, either
and Logic: Teaching Children overprotection has serious long-term yours or others.
Responsibility. Helicopter Parenting may consequences. Experts say that children
appear to arise out of love and affection need to learn to cope with failures to be p Fight your child's battles for her,
for the child, but is actually rooted in a effective in life. Sadly, this is out of the such as protesting an unfair grade
perceived insecurity about the question for a Helicopter Parent. or score in a test.
child’s future.
WHAT IT DOES TO YOU p Take over your child's projects and
Such a parent will not accept the child’s Being an over-involved parent will homework.
failure in anything and hence, will not eventually drive you nuts. Studies have
let the child learn from his or her own shown that Helicopter Parents reported p Are preoccupied with the details of
mistakes. Like helicopters, such parents more sadness, negative beliefs about your child's activities, practices,
hover closely overhead, rarely out of themselves, and less joy and contentment, schedules and performances and
reach, whether their children need them irrespective of whether their children were only talk about these issues with
or not. ‘succeeding’ or ‘failing’. your spouse.
20 Parent Circle / November 2011

12. special
BY RANGASHREE SRINIVAS
A
this through the stories of some ahead with an unrelated adoption of a child
adoptive families. in need. Today she is a favourite
with everybody.
BOND OF LOVE
dopting a child is no G Nageswaran and R Revathi are the Srividhya already knows and has accepted
more or no less than an alternate way parents of a lively little six-year-old girl. her adoptive status. We are Sai Baba
to parenting. As a part of an important Srividhya was adopted when she was devotees and have told her that she is
nodal body, the Adoptions Coordination just 72 days old. When Revathi had a gift from God. We have exposed her
Agency, Tamil Nadu, I come across varied some trouble with her pregnancy leading to people who are economically less
perceptions to the idea of adoption. I am to complications, the couple decided to fortunate and have explained to her that
constantly in touch with scores of parents adopt a child. “What began as a selfish
waiting in the wings to bring a child into thought, transformed into a need to do
their homes, whom they can call their own. something purposeful with our lives,”
says Nageswaran. “When Srividhya
It is said that a biological child is born from came into our lives, our family dynamics
your womb, but an adopted child is born was transformed into something magical.
from your heart. The bond between the We gave up minor squabbling and strove
adoptive parent and adopted child is very, to make our home a haven of peace for
very special. It cannot be expressed in our child. Initially my family wanted us to
words, but here is an attempt to illustrate adopt from within the family, but we went Srividhya with her parents
22 Parent Circle / November 2011

13. centrespread
Arun Pandian Rohan Kaushik
Arun Pandian is a 4th standard student My son Rohan is now five years old. He is
studying in the Avvai Home School in Adyar. intelligent and shrewd but at the same time, he
He is a bright boy with a big smile, very is very mischievous. In spite of this, he is his
enthusiastic about learning. When he is not teacher’s pet and his mother’s darling. He
playing or taking care of his younger siblings, is learning yoga for the past two years
he can be seen drawing and colouring. and he is really good at it. I am very
NALINA RAMALAKSHMI, NEIGHBOUR proud of him.
RAHUL SURESH, FATHER
November 14 is
Children’s Day!
We are thankful for our
Shricharan
Raghavan Shricharan is a very special child
for us! Yes, he is a leap year baby
Our bundle of joy is two and a half years born in 2008! He is three and a half
old. He knows to speak the words most years now and is caring, confident,
important to him, ‘No’, ‘I want’, ‘give it’ and self-aware and respectful of those
uses them with intense emotion. He’s probably around him. At this age he does
the youngest user of the iPod and an unconventional all the work (like eating, writing
listener, because he enjoys the most complex homework etc.) by himself. I am
Carnatic compositions. He also insists that capsicum glad that I have a son like him.
is only ‘Casasum.’ JAYASHREE SURESH,
PRADEEP CHAKRAVARTHY, FATHER MOTHER

14. P Dharini C S Dhruva
My student, P Dharini, studying in 9th Sixteen year old Dhruva
standard, is multi-talented. She learnt to epitomises truth and
make artificial jewellry when she was in honesty. His journey from
the 6th standard and has also learnt childhood to adolescence,
tailoring and folk dance. Her aim is his innocent explorations
to become an IAS officer. of the environment
VATHSALA around him and his unique
PARTHASARATHY, perception of people and
TEACHER situations have taught us
lessons in humility and
that life is precious.
LAKSHMI SATISH,
MOTHER
Sanjana Vinod
Vinisha Five-year-old Sanjana loves to be with
Kathiravan children and enjoys outdoor games.
Fond of dancing, she also loves doing
My daughter Vinisha, a class IX student, is a gymnastics on the swing. When asked to
child prodigy, who has performed many solo paint, she gets very enthused.
classical dances. She has won many SOUMYA VINOD, MOTHER Arvind Srinivasan
trophies and performed in various
events of significance including I am the blessed father of Arvind, 13 years. Through his
Perur Natyanjali Festival - site, which I have created for him, you will see his love for
Coimbatore and Dance Festival art. He has over 300 creations published in
at Mamallapuram. She was also the site. I am really proud of my son.
conferred the Guru Pandanallur R SRINIVASAN, FATHER
T S Shanmugasundaram
Pillai Award by music
exponent,
Dr M Balamuralikrishna.
I am very happy and
proud of her.
JAYASUDHA
KATHIRAVAN,
MOTHER

15. cover
story
BY V VENKATACHALAM
Board level exams. In 1985, in Chennai
CBSE In 1965, the Central Board alone, there were around 237 schools, of
of Secondary Education (CBSE) was which 85 were affiliated to this system.
reorganized from the existing Board of
Rajputana at Ajmer, which was prevailing The ICSE The Indian Certificate
in five states. The board was given of Secondary Education ( ICSE) is a
an all-India character under the Christian Minority board, that has been
chairmanship of Zakir Hussain before he given the status of a national board.
became President. Handed down from the British, It is
relatively less popular in the country. In
The CBSE curriculum was adopted by the terms of syllabus standards, it is close to
Kendriya Vidyalaya schools – the schools the CBSE.
attended by the children of people serving
in the armed forces and the government. Other Boards
At that time, the CBSE was called Higher Across the country there are
Secondary. People liked it because there totally 32 boards, excluding
was no requirement of a pre-university the two national boards CBSE
course (PUC) after this, which amounted and ICSE. Most of the others
to a one year ‘saving’ in education. Later follow state patterns like the
after the 10 plus 2 was introduced, this Manipuri pattern, Punjab
advantage was lost. pattern, West Bengal pattern,
Tamil Nadu pattern. Some like
Owing to the huge popularity of the the Anglo Indian Board, the
CBSE and the inability of Kendriya Madarasa Board or the Oriental
Vidyalayas to expand, private schools Schools have community or
were allowed to get affiliated to this Board. religious undertones. The 32
Until 1975, all the CBSE schools were boards, instead of trying
following their own curriculum when Dr to complement
K Venkatasubramanian, a renowned each other
economist and eminent educationist to promote
introduced the Plus 2, standardising the value-based
30 Parent Circle / November 2011

16. destinations
God’s I
t all started with a description of ‘Phoolon Karnaprayag 30km 4 Nandaprayag 11km
Ki Ghaati’ to a close friend of mine by 4 Chamoli 58km 4 Joshimath 21km 4
her driver on her way to Badrinath. This Govindghat.
Eden
information, duly passed on to me, kindled
my interest for this mystical destination. He PLANNING TIP: When you plan, do keep
told her about a valley, nestled amidst the two buffer days to handle unpredictable
majestic Himalayan peaks of Nanda Devi, contingencies like landslides/cloudbursts,
Rathaban and Nilagiri, a valley covered which are very common in Garhwal region.
with flowers of all imaginable shapes, Remember that night travel is not allowed
The
sizes, shades and scents, a valley so in the mountains, so break up your
beautiful that it is considered an abode of journey accordingly.
the fairies by the locals.
THE PURSUIT
Valley of
After a month of planning, preparation and I wasted no time upon reaching Delhi, as
coaxing of my manager to grant me leave, every minute saved, releases more time
I finally managed to book tickets to Delhi. for the trek. But, do keep in mind that it
I could barely wait, it was just a matter of is the journey that makes the destination
Flowers
time before I could see the place rumoured more alluring, so do not rush through it.
to be ‘God’s Eden’. From Delhi I caught a bus to Haridwar at
around 3 p.m (You get buses to Haridwar
The Valley of Flowers is a part of the from ISBT Anand Vihar every half an hour.
BY ARPAN KANTHAL Nanda Devi Biosphere Reserve, in the Please avoid private buses as they always
Chamoli District in Uttarakhand. The final put money over the safety and comfort
lap of the journey involves trekking from of passengers.) I reached Haridwar by
Govindghat. The route-map to Govindghat 8.30 p.m. You get numerous shared taxis,
by road is given below: buses, autos going towards Rishikesh
round the clock. I got down at the
Haridwar 25km 4 Hrishikesh 70km 4 Rishikesh Bus Stand at 9.15 p.m where
DevPrayag 31km 4 Srinagar 34km 4 the first bus to Joshimath was to leave at
Rudraprayag 23km 4 3.30 a.m the next morning. A casual chat
with a local tea vendor opened up another

17. teen
circle
Talking To Your S
leepless nights, temper tantrums
Preteen
and force-feeding spinach pales
in comparison to the challenge of
talking to your child about puberty. This
topic leaves most parents feeling awkward
About
Puberty
and inadequate.
Though it is a trying time for both parents
and children, it can be a positive and
enriching experience for both, if there
is an open communication. A lack of
BY DR LAKSHMI KRISHNAN
communication between the parent and
the child, particularly when the child is
groping for support and security, can lead
to anger, frustration, and a lack of self-
esteem in the child.
Each family and perhaps even each
parent may have a different take on how
to approach puberty and its changes.
It is important for parents to agree on a
consistent approach to provide stability
for the child during this period of change.
They must make an effort to have an open
dialogue on the topic, despite taboos and
societal pressures. The dialogue must be
an ongoing one, so that the child and the
parents can work through the different
issues that come up, as the child goes
through varying stages of puberty
and maturity.
WHEN TO START Today’s
children are exposed to abundant
information about sex and relationships
through the media. Sometimes they think
they know all about puberty and the
associated changes! It is important for
parents to be aware that the information
they receive is not always reliable.
Beginning the dialogue before the onset
of puberty, prepares a child to face the
challenges of an awkward few years. Girls
go through puberty between the ages of 9
and 13 while boys experience it from the
ages of 11 to 16. An ideal time to start the
conversation is around 9 years for the girls
and 10 years for the boys.
42 Parent Circle / November 2011

18. roots
BY PRADEEP CHAKRAVARTHY
C
an you take us to a temple up in the US, Bangalore and Delhi - they
in Madras?”, asked Sanjay. were city-bred, ensconced in a liberal
I said ‘Sure’, but with some environment and were not exactly frequent
hesitation. Sanjay is a successful visitors to temples. They were probably
leader who has worked in the IT doing their first trip to Chennai. To tip the
field and is now doing his own balance were Sanjay’s parents, also from
consulting for organizations. I the North. A very different group of people
had never associated him as compared to what I was used to.
being historically-inclined.
The three children I was not sure about their interest in the
- Aila, Ayaan history and the mythology that surrounded
and nephew temples in Tamil Nadu. Still, I decided that
Saket - were it would be a great opportunity to test my
all brought own hypothesis that there is much more to
ancient Indian temples than just religion;
and that history does not have to be a
jumble of dates and kings, but could be
contextualized and made meaningful for
the young generation.
The Parthasarathy temple in Triplicane
was our destination. As we all got
into the vehicle, I thought it was
important to get a sense of
what the children liked and
more importantly, what they
did not. “What bores you
about temples?” I asked
and thankfully (predictably)
the answers were quick
and candid. The crowds,
the dirt, the noise, the ‘why
should I go?’ were all negatives
and I heartily agreed and
congratulated myself for having
chosen a weekday morning.
What do we like about temple
visits? It was the food!
Parthasarathy temple has a
lovely pillared porch and we
spent a few minutes there,
46 Parent Circle / November 2011

19. roots
The
Revival of
Traditional
Games
BY SHASHWATHI SANDEEP
TRADITIONAL GA
MES still flourish
in the temples of India
E
ven today, when our grandparents terraces of temple gopurams, walls, pillars strategy. Dayakattam for instance,
talk to us about their more and even floors! has been in existence from the days of
youthful days, the joint family the Mahabharata, when the Pandavas
system and the rituals they Not just in Karnataka, but the well-known lost their kingdom and their wife Draupadi
followed, we enjoy the Kapaleeshwar temple in Chennai has such to the Kauravas; King Nala too lost his
conversation. An interesting conversation evidence of people amusing themselves kingdom similarly, to a cousin.
would perhaps centre around how they in its precincts. “Dayakattam, Dahdi, Ashta
spent their free time in those days when Chemma and many more games can be Ever heard of the name Parampada
there was no entertainment. found in just this one temple, though others Sopanam? This is the traditional version of
like the Marundeeshwarar Temple and Sri ‘Snakes and Ladders’, played by the kings
There were no video games or television. Dhenupureeswarar Temple also have such in the olden days. Parampada Sopanam
There was no Cricket, but Gilli Danda and ‘exhibits’,” says Vinitha Siddharth, who means ‘Steps to the Highest Place’. “It was
there was no Ludo, but Dayakattam. These runs Kreeda. Kreeda is an organization believed to be symbolic of a man's attempt
are games that teach us something about in Chennai, which is working towards to reach God,” says Kamala Gopalan, a
our culture and traditions, and sharpen our popularizing traditional games among traditional games expert. “There are little
observation skills. students and corporates. known games like Pandi (hopscotch)
we used to love playing. Another game
When we visit temples, how many of us Some of the games have also spread I fondly remember is the Puliamkottai
notice these games etched on the to other countries. “In those days, Aattam where we would blow a group of
temple walls? considerable exchange happened through tamarind seeds in such a way that one
trading routes. People used to travel seed would not touch the other,” she adds.
“I had been to a temple in Belur for our for years together. They lived and even
research. We discovered a stone block married while travelling. That is how Childspeak
on the inside of the well which had the people from other countries started playing I have been playing traditional
game of Aadu Puli Attam etched on it! The these games and have adapted some games since I was five years old, with my
workers must have played the game on it of them into their own culture,” explains mother and grandmother. My favourite
and used the stone later for the well,” says Vinitha. one, is the shell sandal game. In this, you
Raghu Dharmendra from Mysore, who has tie two dry coconut shells together with
been researching traditional games for It is difficult to date the origin of these a rope, place your feet on them and try to
over a decade. Many games have been games, many of which were devised by walk. It is real fun. SHREYA
found scratched/etched on the ceiling, and combining the elements of chance and THOMAS, 10
YEARS OLD.
48 Parent Circle / November 2011

20. check
it out
Board AADU PULI AATAM
Games
This game requires two players. A
rectangle passes under a triangle,
and there are intersecting points. There are three tigers and 15 goats.
of Yore
“The three tigers were represented by bigger stones and the 15 goats
by smaller ones. The tigers are initially placed on the apex and in the
2 inner places near the apex, while the goats appear one by one on
the board at the intersecting points,” explained Kamala Gopalan, a
traditional games expert. Both players alternate in turns.
T
raditional games are a way of learning about A tiger can capture a goat by jumping over it to an adjacent free
the past and they also enhance the overall position whereas the goats cannot move until all of them are on
development of the people who play them. These the board. The goats have to be placed in such a way that they
games, though almost forgotten, are still available in immobilize the movement of the tigers. The tiger wins if it captures at
some places. Here is a brief on some of these games least five goats and the goats win if they are successful in blocking
and where these are available… the tigers’ movement.
This game is one of strategy and quick thinking.
PALLANGUZHI Available at Kreeda, Chennai `250
Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `695
This game was born in the villages of Tamil
Nadu where it was a favourite pastime for the
bored housewives. Two players are needed.
Boards, made out of wood, contain 14 cups
and each player gets seven cups. Women used DAAYAM
either Cowries (Sea Shells) or tamarind seeds, (Ashta Chemma in Telegu,
six of which were placed in each hole. The Chowkabara in Kannada)
player who starts first, picks up the seeds from
any one of the holes on her side and proceeds The object of the game is to move all your
in a clockwise direction, placing one seed in pawns from the starting point to the centre
each hole. When she drops her last seed, she ‘home’. But watch out as your opponent can send your pawn back
picks up the seeds from the next hole and to start by landing on the same space. Earlier, either a 5x5 grid or
continues in the same way. This goes on till the 7x7 grid was drawn on the floor with a chalk. Each player takes turns
last seed falls into a hole with an empty hole by throwing 6 cowrie shells (sea shells). A pawn can be moved onto
next to it. The seeds in the hole adjacent to the board only by getting the number 1 (Daayam). Dice can be used
the empty hole belong to her. The next player instead of cowries.
continues play in the same way. The game
ends when a player has no more seeds left on This is a game of both luck and strategy that increases critical
her side to play with, on her turn. thinking and mathematical skills. In the past, children and
grandparents spent quality time and bonded together playing
The game increases the motor skills of the this game.
players and also their mathematical ability.
Kreeda, Chennai `350
Kreeda, Chennai `760 Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `550
50 Parent Circle / November 2011

21. PARAMPADA FOUR-HANDED
SOPANAM CHADURANGA
The ladders represented The four-handed Chaduranga
the virtues and the snakes is what is called Chess in
represented the vices. If any the present days. Except that
player reached the highest point there are four players in this game instead of two players.
in the game, it was believed that This game also involves the use of dice. Each player gets
it assured a place for him an opponent where player 1 would play with player 3 and
in heaven. player 2 would play with player 4. Each player gets eight
chessmen in the form of a Raja, an Elephant, a Horse, a
Kreeda, Chennai `760 Ship and a Pawn. The throw of the dice decides which coin
Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `625 has to be moved. The team that captures both the opponent
Rajas wins the game.
Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `2850
CHATURVIMSHATHI KOSHTAKA
An old Sanskrit book written in
Sanskrit by Harikrishna, son of DAYAKATTAM
Venkatram, is the inspiration (Pagade, Chaupad)
for this simple strategy game,
Dayakattam is an Indian dice game
developed and promoted by
played by two or four people. Players
Krishnaraja Wodeyar of Mysore
have six coins each. The ‘dayam’ or ‘1’
in the nineteenth century.
is needed for the coin to start moving forward. Players get
Chathurvimshathi Koshtaka simply means 24 boxes or
another chance to roll the dice if they get ‘1’, ‘5’, ‘6’ or ‘12’ and
squares in Sanskrit. This is a battlefield game where two
they can move different coins during such sequential throws.
players with eight coins each, literally battle it out to gain
Coins can cut opposing coins by landing on the same square,
control of enemy territory. The coins can move only in
unless it is in a safe zone.
specific directions.
Another variant of this game requires 8 coins for each player.
Kreeda, Chennai `120 The coins move forward in pairs only upon and ‘even’ number
throw of the dice. The coins are moved forward by half the
number indicated by the dice throw.
VIMANAM Kreeda, Chennai `600
This is a game played by two players. Each
player gets 6 coins each of the same colour
and starts from a point called ‘Home’. There DAHDI
are darker squares and lighter squares. The game board is in (Navakankari in Sanskrit, Saalu Mane
the form of an aero plane and that is why the game is named Aata in Kannada)
the Vimanam. Both the players throw the cowrie shells and Two players are given 9 coins each. Players have
move forward in different directions. If one player lands on to collect as many points as possible by lining
the same square as the other player, then the latter has to up 3 coins in a row. Although the game is similar to the game
take the pawn back ‘home’ and start the game again. But, if of noughts and crosses, it is far more complex as coins can be
the pawn is in a darker square, the other pawn cannot be cut. moved and the opponent’s coins can be removed.
Kreeda Kaushalya, Mysore `1075 Kreeda, Chennai `250
www.parentcircle.in 51

22. parent
chef
CHINMAYIE BHAT IS A FOOD BLOGGER & A GRAPHIC
DESIGNER FROM BANGALORE. SHE BLOGS AT
LOVEFOODEAT.COM
Creamy Potato Soup
(SERVES 4)
INGREDIENTS:
CHINMAYIE BHAT Peas and Spinach 2 medium sized potatoes
Soup (SERVES 4) 1 medium onion
Gazpacho (SERVES 4) 1 tbsp butter
INGREDIENTS: 1 cup milk
INGREDIENTS: 3 cups of spinach 2 cups water
3-4 ripe tomatoes 1 cup of peas Mixed Italian herbs for seasoning
1 small cucumber 1 clove of garlic
½ small onion 2 slices of white or METHOD: Peel and dice the potatoes
1 or 2 cloves of garlic brown bread and onion. Heat the butter in a pan. Add
Salt the potatoes and onion and fry for a few
Sugar METHOD: Clean the spinach minutes. Add about 2 cups of water and
1 tbsp olive oil well and place it in a vessel bring it to a boil. Let it simmer till the
Coriander to garnish with ½ cup of water. Add the potatoes are cooked.
green peas and garlic to it.
METHOD: Peel and chop all the ingredients and Bring it to a boil and simmer Turn off the heat and let it cool. Once it
put them in a blender! Garlic and onion give it a till the spinach changes reaches room temperature, blend it into a
very pungent taste as they are raw, so don’t add too colour. Do not overcook it as smooth puree.
much. Serve chilled with finely chopped coriander the soup will lose it’s bright
as garnish. Alternatively you can also garnish it with green colour. Tear the bread Put it back on the stove and add 1 cup
some finely chopped tomatoes or cucumber. into small pieces and add it of milk, or more, to bring it to the desired
to the spinach-peas mixture. consistency. You can even use water
Let it cool down for a few instead. Season with salt and some mixed
Cold soups are great for a minutes and blend it into a Italian herbs and let it simmer for a few
summer afternoon. They are smooth paste. Add enough minutes. Serve with some extra butter and
filling, cooling and delicious. water to bring it to the desired pepper (optional).
consistency and simmer the
soup for 5 minutes. Season
with salt and serve warm. Potato
soup takes only
minutes to make
Peas and spinach are just and is hearty and
boiled for a few minutes which comforting!
helps retain most of the
nutrients.