Negotiation

 1. Preparation
 2. Step to their side

 1. Preparation
 3. Focus on interests not positions

 1. Preparation
 4. Build them a “Golden Bridge”

 1. Preparation
 4. Build them a “Golden Bridge”
 5. Bring them to their senses not their knees

 The critical distinguishing factor that sets
apart successful negotiators from others is
the amount of time and thought that is spent
in the Planning Stage

 Where possible always prepare in advance use
the strategies discussed later in this
presentation.

 Consider what your needs are and what the
other person’s are.

 Consider outcomes that would address more
of what you both want

 Commit yourself to a synergistic WIN/WIN
approach, even if the tactics used by the
other person seem unfair

 Be clear that your task will be to steer the
negotiation in a positive direction

“Put yourself in my shoes”

 How you see the world depends on where you
sit. Before you can discuss the problem you
need to disarm the person and create a
favorable climate for discussion

 The ability to see the situation as the other
side sees it, as difficult as it may be, is one of
the most important skills a negotiator can
possess

 Withhold judgment for a while as you „try on‟
their views, use your assertive listening and
questioning skills to get a real understanding
of the situation as they see it, the more
willing you are to step into the other person’s
map of the world, the more willing they will
be to step into yours and work with you
rather than against you

 We negotiate because we have a want/need.
These wants/needs are often expressed as
our „position‟. People typically take up
„positional‟ bargaining and traditional hard
and soft negotiating is visualized as a contest
between these two positions. Once people
take up positions they can become very
entrenched and will not budge.

 Egos become identified with positions and
people will not „lose face‟ Behind any position
may be a host of tangible and intangible
„interests‟.

 A position is likely to be concrete and explicit
eg. „ I want a 25% reduction in costs „;
however the interests underlying it may be
unexpressed eg. “Because a new competitor
is moving into the area”, or “Because my
overheads have doubled”.

 Uncover these core interests, and the
negotiation takes on a whole new dimension.

 Instead of treating your opponent's position
as an obstacle, treat it as an opportunity and
transform it into the negotiation you want to
have

Build Your Adversary
a Golden Bridge
to Retreat Across‟
(Sun Tzu)

 Once you have identified their interests think
of how you can make it easier for the other
person to go along with you and agree with
your goal

 What currencies do you have that might help
them achieve their interests?

 Emphasize common ground, areas of
agreement; use these to bridge differences

 Become partners in a collaborative solution,
working side by side to find an outcome that
is acceptable to both parties

 Use problem solving questions to re-direct
attention to the interests of each side and
away from positions e.g.

 What are your main concerns here?‟,

 Why do you want xyz?‟,

 Why do you want xyz?‟,
 What has led you to want this?‟

 As well as uncovering their interests be
prepared to be open about yours. This is the
place in a negotiation to be a firm and strong
advocate for your interests

 Two negotiators, each pushing hard for their
interests, will often stimulate each other’s
creativity in thinking up mutually
advantageous solutions, leading to a much
greater chance of a WIN/WIN solution

 If the other person still resists and thinks
they can win without negotiating then you
will need to educate them otherwise, but not
in a way which threatens their ego

 Use reality testing questions, inform them of
the implications/costs of not reaching
agreement

 Use reality testing questions, inform them of
the implications/costs of not reaching
agreement
 Warn but don‟t threaten. Remind them that
your goal is WIN/WIN not victory

 The cheapest validation you can make to the
other side is to let them know they have been
heard. The best negotiators listen far more
than they speak!

 Active listening does not mean being passive!
As the term implies, it involves
demonstrating listening and active dialogue.
What you are saying to the other person is
‘I hear you and I understand’.

 Active listening entails testing and expressing
understanding and is essential for building
rapport - a key factor in successful
negotiation.

 Acknowledging and understanding a different
view is not the same as agreeing to it; one
can at the same time understand perfectly
and disagree completely with what the other
side is saying.

Empathizing is seeing the other person's
viewpoint. You need to see the world as they
see it so that you can understand how they are
feeling and what they feel strongly about. For
example:

 “I can understand that this is difficult for you,
however......” “I appreciate that this will cause
you a delay, however .....”

 Your words and tone must demonstrate
genuine understanding.

In reflecting back you use words and phrases
that the other person has used:

 “So what you‟re saying is....”

 “So what you‟re saying is....”
 “So that decision made you very angry ...”

 You reach a shared understanding of the
problem, so building common ground

 It promotes mutual clarity

 It helps to distinguish facts from
opinion/feelings etc

 It helps to distinguish facts from
opinion/feelings etc
 It gives you time to think and collect your
thoughts

Successful negotiators ask at least twice as
many questions as the less skilled.

 Ask open questions (Who? What? When? Why?
How?) to encourage the other person to be
more specific and to provide more
information.

 “I don‟t quite understand what you mean....
how did that happen?”

 “I don‟t quite understand what you mean....
how did that happen?”
 “I‟m not sure I know what you mean by xyz
....can you explain it to me?”

 Open questioning is also helpful when you
want to move the conversation from an
emotive to a rational level by clarifying the
facts of a situation. It can also be used, with
care, if you wish to avoid responding too
quickly

Summarization can be used at any point in the
discussion to agree progress made and points
of agreement/disagreement. It can be used as
a useful staging post to move discussions
forward, especially if the discussion is being
diverted.

 “So let me just go over the points raised so
far ...”

far ...”
 “So as I understand it the main areas of
disagreement are ...”

far ...”
 “So as I understand it the main areas of
disagreement are ...”
 “So from the discussion so far we all seem to
agree the following ...”

 It can have a very positive effect on the
proceedings to highlight common ground
and areas of agreement.

State the problem/issue as you see it; be open
honest and clear.

State the problem/issue as you see it; be open
honest and clear.
 Practice using “I‟ and “my‟ statements to
declare ownership of wants, needs and
feelings.

 State clearly, concisely and without
justification, what you want, think or feel:

 “I cannot agree to that hourly rate I‟m
afraid…”

 “I cannot agree to that hourly rate I‟m
afraid…”
 “I appreciate your position, but I have already
decided to….”

Revealing your thoughts and how an issue
impacts on you can help move a negotiation
forward. Be aware of your body language and
tone of voice, as they need to remain assertive
and not become aggressive. For example:

 “I‟m disappointed that we still haven‟t found
a solution to this, I had hoped we would have
done so by now”.

Remember to express positive feelings as well:

 “I‟m really encouraged by how much
common ground there is”.

 Remember, your thoughts feeling, and
opinions as just that, opinions..

"I believe the best policy is to ”
NOT
"The only sensible thing is to do is… "

 Self disclosure encourages the other person
to disclose their thoughts which can provide
valuable insight into the real reasons behind
someone's behavior.

Being clear with other people about your limits,
and being upfront about boundaries is useful
for setting expectations, resisting pressure,
and saying „No‟.

 “I will be able to do x .......but not y”

 “I will be able to do x .......but not y”
 “You can phone me tonight but no later than
8 o‟clock.”

Asking for a response can encourage
negotiation and discussion without conflict.

Asking open questions such as:
Who? What? Why? When? How?
allows you to explore options and test
possibilities, for example:

 Given the facts of the situation what would be
the ideal solution from your point of view?”

 “What do you feel about .......?”

 “What do you feel about .......?”
 “I’d be interested to know how you would
manage this?”

Draw the other person in the direction you
want them to move by presenting your
proposals in a firm but non-threatening way.
You are not saying this is what must be done,
more this is what might be done - but in a way
which highlights the reasonableness of your
suggestion and invites collaboration.

 “One fair solution might be...”

 “One fair solution might be...”
 “How about tackling x first and seeing how it
goes? ” “I could do xyz....”
 Don’t you think we should….?

 When we negotiate we often meet challenges.
These can come in many forms:

 The person with whom we are negotiating
may be a poor communicator

 They may be very driven by their own agenda
and not that interested in yours

 The stakes may be high in terms of your
goals, financial or otherwise

 The stakes may be high in terms of your
goals, financial or otherwise
 They may be raising an endless stream of
objections

 Persistence is a key element in getting
yourself heard, particularly when confronted
with someone behaving aggressively or
employing manipulative tactics. The following
techniques can be very effective in such
situations:

 Broken Record: Repeating a message until it
can no longer be ignored or dismissed.
Repeating the same words but in different
phrases or sentences.

 “I won‟t be able to let you know my answer
tomorrow, no I can‟t give you an answer
then.......as I said, I can‟t give you an answer
tomorrow.”

When facing a real or perceived threat the
typical human behavioral response tends to fall
into two broad categories, this is known as the
„Fight or Flight‟ response:

typical human behavioural response tends to
fall into two broad categories, this is known as
the „Fight or Flight‟ response:
 1. Trigger Stimulus

 2. Feel threatened

 2. Feel threatened
 3. Aggressive/Attack or Passive/Withdraw

 Some anxiety provoking triggers are fairly
universal and rational e.g. physical attack or
performing in front of a crowd. However we
all develop a portfolio of personal triggers
which are idiosyncratic and rooted in our own
experience e.g. certain people, phrases,
places. These are sometimes known as our
„hot buttons‟. Consider the following phrases
and think when you might have said that to
yourself and to whom it has related:

 “That person always makes me feel...”

 “That person always makes me feel...”
 “ I don‟t know why ........he just winds me up”

 It can take 90 mins to biologically cool down
after a confrontation or argument - during
that period our bodies are still on physical
„red alert‟. Clearly modern life requires a
more sophisticated response, we need to
learn to respond but not re-act.

To achieve control in high stake or conflict
situations we need to develop a set of
advanced interpersonal skills which include:

 Self awareness - what are my triggers/what
affect do they have on my behavior?

 Strong listening and observational skills-
what is the real issue here for me and them?

 Strong listening and observational skills-
what is the real issue here for me and them?
 A fundamental belief that the other person's
point of view may just be right!

 People obtain physiological release through
the simple process of recounting their
grievances. Letting them off-load without
being challenged may help productive
negotiation later.

 Only one person is allowed to get angry at a
time. The louder and more aggressive they
get (within reason of course!) the quieter and
more measured you become whilst always
maintaining a confident assertive tone.

 Allows time for reflection on both sides

 If things are spiraling out of control suggest
taking a break to think/cool down. Also
useful if someone is using aggressive tactics
in an attempt to force agreement:

 “This is too important a decision to make
under these circumstances, I need to take
some time out to consider what you have
said.”

 Be hard on the problem but soft on the
person

 "Let's hold it for a minute, something isn't
working. What just happened? How did we
get from discussing why you keep failing to
pay me on time to you being fed up with me
being late for appointments? ”

This helps to identify the real issue when a
negotiating situation seems to have escalated
into something beyond the immediate topic. It
can be very useful in uncovering real interests
in a negotiation.

 What techniques are likely to work for you?
Note them down:

In answering the following questions, you will
be clear in what you are offering to your
prospective clients and understand the
boundaries of where you can and can‟t help
them.

List all the different negotiating environments
you may find yourself in over the coming
months. Think broadly, not just potential
clients, but negotiations with suppliers,
business partners, professional advisers e.g.
accountants, bank managers etc.

In terms of negotiating and closing the deal at
the right price, it is critical that you identify the
right person to bring to the table.

 The money or budget
 The authority to make decisions

 The money or budget
 The authority to make decisions
 The need to make a deal with you

Negotiation

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Negotiation