You can Negotiate anything
At the Top
@ the End
Whether we know it or we don’t, we negotiate all the time at home and at work both.
Everything that’s product of a negotiation, is negotiable.
The list consists of virtually every thing.
Learn techniques of Negotiating to do it well.
Here’s the TIP
The T.I.P. is nothing but the three most crucial elements in any negotiation -
Consider kids creating embarrassing situations for their parents in public, to get something they want, say toys
etc. They are well aware (information) that in public (time) their parents may not use their power, so they use
their own power
Power, like beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. It’s simply the capacity or ability to get things done. It
changes the reality and helps in achieving goals.
Consider same parents and kids at home. Whose time favors there? And who is in the power? The parents know
everything (information) to simply control the same kids differently.
Lets replace kids with subordinates, parents with boss, home with office, public with clients or other teams or
big bosses. Doesn’t the situation change entirely?
Only the three crucial elements remain intact in any negotiation – Time, Information & Power.
Take it Personally, and tell others that you do
Others are comfortable when they can identify with you. Learn as
much as you can, about them and their families. Let them know
about you, your family, job, organization, hobbies and interests.6
People with decent personalities and even power may not achieve
their objectives if they fail to personalize. Long liked politicians
meet people one by one and seek their commitments individually.
People easily shaft others if they don’t see them in personal terms.
Get the other parties emotionally involved.
Wear reasonable dress, manners and decorum as per the situation.
Appear responsible, suitable, desirable.
How to proceed in negotiation with any organization like a School, Income Tax dept., Insurance
company etc. after trying all ways and failing?
The process of moving up in the organization starts from trying your best at the down level.
Try to personalize while
stating your problem on
Ask the full name and
contact details of the
person entertaining the
phone call. It will be
needed for the next
follow up steps
If he can’t think of
solutions, help him find
This could be again on
phone or via e-mail or a
letter to the person who
attended the phone call.
Remind him that you’re
counting on him.
Follow up last
Do it just before the
deadline of the task.
As this is 3rd time you
are contacting the same
person, you can be
friendly with him while
checking the progress.
Visit him if required and
be loud enough and
personalize so that his
surrounding feels an
obligation to assist.
If you’ve acted
honestly and believe
that you’re right then
you can move up.
Invest time in
negotiating with a
person who has
If a person lacks the
authority, go to next
How’s it at the Top?
Higher authorities are aware of the big picture and visualize the fall out caused by improper handling.
They know general rules do not cover specific situations.
They get paid to take risks and make decisions. Offer them a chance to amend their policies in light of
your particular situation. Often they are grateful for such opportunities.
Get their commitment as they try to do everything to honor their commitments. They take their
commitments as a matter of their integrity and principle.
Never approach anyone in
aggression. Otherwise issue will
shift from lack of proper
service to lack of manners.
Do not complain. Just let your
circumstances be known well.
If you are stronger, you will win on phone for sure. If you are weak, wait until
you are in power; it changes with time. Long distance calls could be source of
information as if you don’t talk, they will, to make the costly call is worthy.
Use Telephone in a way that it works for you, not against you. A dry run in
mind may work. Be ready with paper, pen, calculator, laptop at arm’s
reach in a quiet place. You should have access to relevant facts. Admit lack
of knowledge with dignity.
People are impersonal on phone and stick to the point. It’s much quicker way.
Quick means risk involved if not prepared in advance.
It’s easy to get a No over the phone. For Yes, meet in person. But in person
meetings must justify time, travel and expense.
Due to lack of getting feedback, body language on phone, there are chances
of misunderstandings, hidden meanings in tone. Summarize before ending
the call and discuss next course of action or follow ups.
Memorandum of Agreement
While writing, you are more attentive, disciplined and a better listener.
If you write, you can choose what to mention and omit. If people question
you, it’s your choice to give them a hard time or to accept the amendments.
Big bosses ignore the minor issues and appreciate you for your hard work.
The pen is mightier than a pat and a promise.
Tell the parties after in-person or telephonic negotiation, that you would pass
on the write-up after the discussion is over.
It becomes framework of future revisions.
You can use the notes in successive meetings and others who mock at it
initially would also want to refer to it later provided it’s readable to them
Note down selectively whatever benefits you.
I UWin Win
Win-Win StyleWin-Lose Style
Opponent is an associate
Collaborative Style Competitive Style
Winning at all costs.
Opponent is an adversary.
As two parties may crave for different victories and both
Boss and subordinate both can go to the top together,
climbing one-one step each.
Find out what other side wants, show them the way to
get that while you get what you want.
The heart of Win-win is to find out what others want?
Sometimes even they don’t know what satisfies them?
Sometimes they may not reveal it to us so easily.
People may not talk about their psychological needs in fear
of their use against them.
This approach has limited applicability. E.g.
Insurance companies, Legal system.
Even if you never use it, you must be able to
recognize it in order to not to get victimized by it.
After all a tactic perceived is no more a tactic.
3 Options to play safe against Win-Lose (Soviet Style) –
Apply other techniques and change win-lose to win-win.
Invest more time and energy to turn it into I-win, You-lose.
Walk away but keep your alternatives ready.
We might be exposed to different data and facts leading to different
conclusions. So we should share knowledge, relevant ideas, feelings, needs to
provide others the substance from which our outlook has been developed. This
is how others will understand us.
Conflicts are unavoidable parts of our lives. It may arise even when the goals are same but the
ways to achieve the goal are different. E.g. Any sports team.
In conflict situations find out where you agree and where you do not.
Motive should always be – do not argue, do learn.
Usually the root cause would be among these three – Experience, Role & Information.
We don’t see things as they are but as we are. We are all products of our own
experiences and environments. Get inside each other’s worlds and understand
their behavior. With passing time we learn about others.
When everything is same, the prosecutor and the defense attorney still
advocate differently. Each of us feels that we are good and guided by God.
Always address others with tact and concern for their dignity, even when they are obnoxious.
The only way to disarm them is a positive approach that conveys expectations.
Most people try to be accommodating and tend to behave the way you expect them to behave.
But the response you receive is determined solely by how you do it?
Use lubricant demeanor to soften your words and minimize friction.
Would you help…
I might have heard you say…
Avoid legal (or 3rd party) indulgences as whichever side wins, none of the lawyers or mediators is
At times you may not win despite being right. The other side may be
just so stubborn to accept the failure at any cost.
Stages of Negotiation
Process Stage Formal Event
Process Stage –
It starts weeks or months before the actual negotiation (formal event). Ability to use the present in
anticipation of the future makes all the difference.
Build Trust, the sooner the better –
When we place trust in others, they tend to justify our faith. No one tells you anything worthwhile unless
you are trusted with the information. So you can’t proceed ahead without this.
Gain Commitment –
Gain goodwill and credit in Process Stage as the same actions earn minus and debits in the Formal Stage.
Manage Opposition –
Diagnose the cause of potential disagreement (Experience, Role, Information). And work on them.
Formal Event –
Continue to build common ground. Remember when the body moves, the head follows.
Start with a positive approach, like –
Dear Friends, as we all agree that we are gathered here for the common purpose …
Gain everyone’s individual agreement on the problem statement.
Throughout concentrate on the ends and not the means.
It is not just exchange
of material objects
like money or goods.
Use of right blend of
tact, apathy, curtsey,
It is a way of behaving
It’s manner of
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
Forewarned is forearmed.
He’s free who knows how to keep in his own hands the power to decide.
I trust that the end of this journey marks the beginning of a rewarding
and liberating phase of your life.
You have the power to change your life and the lives of others as well..