This document discusses various models for understanding interpersonal relationships and managing relationships effectively. It covers: 1. Transactional analysis model which views personality as consisting of parent, adult, and child ego states that influence interactions. 2. Role theory which explains how people's perceptions of their own and others' roles influence behavior and expectations. Role ambiguity and conflict can impact relationships. 3. Interpersonal needs model focusing on needs for inclusion, control, and affection that determine relationship quality. The models provide frameworks for diagnosing relationship issues and developing strategies to manage relationships more effectively through understanding social interactions and adapting behaviors.

1. Naila KF 4520210097 Interpersonal Skills-B
MANAGING
RELATIONSHIP MORE
EFFECTIVELY

2. PREFACE
Interpersonal skill refers to the nature of such conduct and is defined as
goal-directed behaviours used in face-to-face interactions which are
effective in bringing about a desired state of affairs. While broad areas of
interpersonal skill have been considered under a series of chapter headings
such as listening, information getting, helping and negotiating, attention
has also been focused on smaller units of behaviour such as attending,
probing and giving feedback. It was noted in Chapter 2 that an effective
approach to the development of interpersonal skills focuses, in the first
instance, on these smaller units of behaviour. This is a micro-skills
approach to skill development

3. FROM MICRO SKILLS TO A MORE MACRO PERSPECTIVE
A recurring theme, introduced in Chapter 1 and developed in later chapters, is
the need to pay attention to the ways in which the nature of relationships can
affect outcomes. In Chapter 6, for example, it was argued that it would be naive
to view the interview simply in terms of one person asking questions and
getting information from another. One of these factors is the way the
respondent defines the situation and role of the interviewer. In the selection
interview the job applicant is likely to accept the interviewer’s right to ask
questions and feel obliged to give appropriate answers. This may not be the
case if the same questions were asked by a ticket collector on a railway train.

4. We tend to weigh the costs and benefits of behaving in particular ways
before deciding how to act.
• If job applicants in a selection interview feel that their interviewers
are behaving like critical parents and evaluating all they say, they
may distort their answers or provide only carefully selected
information so that the interviewers will view them in the best
possible light.
• In a performance appraisal interview, subordinates who feel a need
for more direction and guidance may offer their appraiser/boss
more information than subordinates who feel that they are being
subjected to too much detailed supervision and who feel a need to
maintain as much autonomy as possible.

5. ROLE THEORY
The way people interpret situations and perceive others will influence how they
will behave towards the people they encounter. It will also influence how they
expect others to behave towards them. For example, the way a new employee
behaves towards somebody s/he meets for the first time will depend upon
whether this other person is perceived to be a boss, colleague or subordinate.
The other’s role will also influence how s/he expects them to behave in return.
Perhaps the new employee expects a subordinate to pay more attention to
what s/he says than either a boss or a colleague.

6. Role ambiguity arises whenever a person is unclear what role s/he should play
in a situation or what role somebody else is playing. Role conflict arises when a
person has the possibility of playing two incompatible roles at the same time.
For example, a policewoman may observe her brother committing a crime and
have to decide whether to play the role of police officer and apprehend the
criminal or the role of sister and protect her brother from the force of the law.
The offending brother may also be faced with a dilemma, especially if he is
unclear what role his sister is likely to perform. Does he attack the police officer
in an attempt to escape or appeal to his sister for help?

7. ●People use role signs (for example, speech and body language) to signal the
role they have in mind for themselves. Others are sometimes happy to accept a
person’s definition of their own role but this need not always be the case. For
example, when a sales executive and a product development engineer meet to
consider their approach to an important customer they plan to visit later in the
day, the marketing executive may see the customer visit as his meeting and
signal to the product development engineer that she should follow his lead.
Developing a better awareness of role relationships and the ways others
interpret roles can help a person construct conduct that has a greater
probability of leading to desired outcomes.

8. TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS
Transactional analysis provides a useful model for understanding the nature of
interpersonal relationships. It was pioneered by Eric Berne (1964: 72), and
offers a theory of personality that can be used for analysing the nature of
interpersonal relationships or ‘transactions’. Personality is presented in terms of
three ego states: parent, adult and child. When people initiate transactions with
others they do so from one of these ego states. They also point their transaction
towards a particular ego state of the others. Transactions originating from the
adult ego state tend to be associated with a confident voice, thoughtful or
interested expression and include words such as where? why? what? The
attitude of the person behaving in an adult manner tends to be open and/or
evaluative.

10. INTERPERSONAL NEEDS
Schutz (1958) advanced the notion that the needs of people engaged in social interactions
can be an important determinant of the quality of the relationship. He focuses attention on
three basic interpersonal needs: inclusion, control and affection.
1. Inclusion refers to the need to be with people or to be alone, to have enough contact to
avoid loneliness and enough aloneness to avoid enmeshment and enjoy solitude.
2. Control refers to decision-making processes between people and areas of power,
influence and authority. It involves the need to achieve enough influence to be able to
control important outcomes and to be able to relinquish enough control to be able to
lean on others and allow them to take responsibility for outcomes.
3. Affection refers to close personal emotional feelings such as love and hate. It involves
the need to avoid being engulfed in emotional entanglements and the need to avoid
having too little affection and a life without love and warmth

11. MANAGING RELATIONSHIP MORE EFFECTIVELY
The conceptual models presented in this final chapter provide a basis for
understanding why some goal-directed behaviours may be less successful than
others or why relationships with certain individuals may be more satisfactory
than relationships with others. These models suggest a range of diagnostic
questions and action strategies that offer a basis for managing relationships
more effectively. The conceptual models presented in this final chapter provide
a basis for understanding why some goal-directed behaviours may be less
successful than others or why relationships with certain individuals may be
more satisfactory than relationships with others. These models suggest a range
of diagnostic questions and action strategies that offer a basis for managing
relationships more effectively

12. CONCLUSION
Interpersonal competence involves the ability to understand the nature of social
interactions, to be able to read behaviour, and to act in ways that will bring about desired
outcomes.
Some broad conceptual frameworks that offer different ways of thinking about social
interaction are presented in Chapter 1 and in this chapter. The hierarchical model of
interpersonal skill that underpins the micro-skills approach to skill development (which is
the core theme of this book) is elaborated in Chapter 2. The ways in which an awareness of
self and others affects interpersonal competence are discussed in Chapter 3.
Chapters 4 to 7 focus on core skills that are important in their own right (listening, listening
to non-verbal messages, questioning and information getting, and presenting information
to others). Each of these core skills involves many elements (micro skills) but they also form
an important element of more complex skills.
Some of these more complex skills (helping, asserting and influencing, negotiating and
working with groups) are discussed in Chapters 8 to 11. An important feature of the book
is the wide range of exercises that have been designed to help us explore our interpersonal
competence, and to practise and evaluate new ways of relating to others.

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Source : Hayes.John : Interpersonal Skills at Work