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Low Emotional Intelligence People
- 1. Low Emotional Intelligence People (LEIPs) Casey Flinn https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseyflinn/
- 3. Emotional Intelligence the capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
- 4. Key Points • LEIPs hide in plain sight behind “safe-words” • LEIPs need to be moved to the core of the engagement conversation • Managing LEIPs is largely hindered by corporate and personal taboos • We tend to casually classify people as LEIPs and disengage them vs. truly assessing the facts
- 5. Safe-Words
- 6. How We Describe LEIPs
- 7. The Proto-LEIPs Brilliant Jerk Overinflated sense of self-worth Sense of entitlement Deserves special treatment Arrogant, condescending Chases fantasies, fails at goals Others feel used / exploited Diva Craves center of attention (+/-) Full of drama Excessively emotional Flamboyant, theatrical Flighty, fickle Suggestible, easily influenced Disingenuous, insincere Bulldog Hostile, aggressive Creates risky situations Deceptive, manipulative Intimidating, bullying Sheds responsibility / blames others No genuine remorse / adept at feigning it
- 8. The Proto-LEIPs Narcissistic Overinflated sense of self-worth Sense of entitlement Deserves special treatment Arrogant, condescending Chases fantasies, fails at goals Others feel used / exploited Histrionic Craves center of attention (+/-) Full of drama Excessively emotional Flamboyant, theatrical Flighty, fickle Suggestible, easily influenced Disingenuous, insincere Antisocial Hostile, aggressive Creates risky situations Deceptive, manipulative Intimidating, bullying Sheds responsibility / blames others No genuine remorse / adept at feigning it DSM-IV, Cluster B Personality Disorders
- 9. Uncomfortable Truths • Its easier for us to use these euphemisms / safe-words than engage the undesirable behavior • LEIPs create psychological tension / unease within those around them • The words we use in our vocabulary regulate our ability to address our culture
- 10. Engagement
- 11. “People leave people” Source: www.dalecarnegie.com
- 12. Response To LEIPs • I am demotivated • I resent that they are allowed to continue their bad behavior, that negatively affects the team • I wonder when management will act; wonder when management will listen to what people are saying. Disengage 67% Engage 26% Neutral 7% Co-Worker Response To LEIPs
- 13. Uncomfortable Truths • Teams cant successfully “self-organize” themselves out of the pain LEIPs cause • Working with LEIPs challenges our own Emotional Intelligence • Managers typically rationalize their disengagement • LEIPs have genius-level self-preservation skills
- 14. Taboos
- 15. Performance is #1 • They are so innovative • They are the only person who can do that • They are critical for blah blah blah • We say “how” we achieve results is as important as what results we achieve, but… • They did that important thing so long ago • They are always the hero
- 16. If You Cant Develop Them, You Fail Idiosyncrasies LEIPsWayward Souls Develop yourself Change a life Hold to Account & Exit Frequency Effort
- 17. Uncomfortable Truths • Empathy / engagement fatigue is real • Fatigue plays a role in how well we assess and manage the facts • LEIPs are typically isolated to be a specific manager’s problem, when they are really a company problem
- 18. Questions? (and thanks to our sponsors) Casey Flinn https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseyflinn/
Editor's Notes
- Agile Teams Value: trust | openness | merit-based discourse Millennial Workforce Value: Transparency | Meaning | Harmony | Autonomy | Trust Hierarchical command and control is anathema
- This is the raw emotion Most people aren’t going to use these words publically, so we create safe words to proxy for what we really feel
- So what are the safe words?
- Borderline (omitted) Narcissistic Histrionic Antisocial What are the distinctions between personality disorders and personality traits Omni present Repeated negative impact to functionality There is nothing more real than being in the deep end of the emotional / personality pool. We get into an extraordinarily complex and uncomfortable situation here because its not reasonable to think that every manager has the ability / training to manage LEIPs We might have empathy fatigue
- Euphemisms are signals of social discomfort Getting angry is a natural response, but its not a productive one If I only ever call people bull dogs or divas, then I am never addressing the issue of bad culture
- SOURCE: http://www.dalecarnegie.com/employee-engagement/engaged-employees-infographic/ What is the relationship between the direct manager / senior leadership team and LEIPs You promote what you permit QUESTION: if a Bulldog and a Rockstar get the same treatment, what should I infer? REAL SAFE CARE
- 2/3 take disengaging actions Only ¼
- Peer coaching and influence requires exceptionally high emotional intelligence on each side Some responses are downright full or anger and pain. LEIPs have a unique way of bring people down into the mire with them What genius do you think they have? Manipulation Strategic alliances Controlling the narrative Rationalizations This is too hard This isn’t my problem Why do I have to deal with this But they are such a top performer Other people don’t have a problem Zombies are an appropriate analogy: they are slow, insidious, we fear them, they are a looming threat
- Assess and identify Commit to your approach (develop or depart) Execute behavioral coaching