Slides for conflict awareness

1. Conflict as Opportunity
- managing conflict and creating a
healthy climate for the exchange of
information and understanding

2. Mediation
- serious staff conflicts
- alternative to disciplinary action
- “insider neutrals”
- transferable skills

3. “At ISP we believe that conflict is neither good nor bad but
natural. We seek to create an open community, climate and
culture that is able to embrace diverse perspectives and
approaches. We expect differences to be expressed
respectfully and we intend for each member of our community
to develop the ability to listen to, hear and acknowledge
different points of view”.

4. 1. Mediating serious interpersonal conflicts
2. Creating a climate that deals openly with
conflict
3. Learning to become better at managing
difficult conversations and crucial
confrontations

5. Situations
•When did I handle conflict well?
•When did it go wrong?

6. Crucial Conversations
Crucial Confrontations

7. • Talking to colleagues about offensive behaviour
• Critiquing a colleague’s work
• Talking to a team member not keeping commitments
• Talking to a colleague about a personal problem
• Giving boss feedback about behaviour
• Approaching boss who is breaking own principles

8. Challenging conversations:
Why might it go wrong?
- design fault?

9. Reason and Emotion
Fight or Flight?
The Amygdala

10. Difference is………….
- how you respond when things go wrong
- how you handle difficult situations or conversations

11. Conflict Behaviour Styles

12. Causes of Conflict . . .
Assumption
Appreciation
Acknowledgement
Respect
Resources

13. Active Listening
Being Heard
Positions v Interests

14. Assuming that others do things because
its in their make-up or they actually enjoy
doing them and then ignoring any other
potential motivational forces - is a
mistake.
Psychologists classify this mistake as an
attribution error. And because it happens
so consistently across people, time and
places, it is called the
Fundamental Attribution Error
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002

15. Me v You
Situational v Dispositional

16. The Pool of Shared Meaning

17. Successful communication - free flow of information
Freely shared feelings, opinions, theories -
even when controversial or unpopular
Safe for everyone to add their meaning to the pool

18. Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002

19. Dark waters?
Silence - disengagement,
avoidance,
hints,
sarcasm

20. Violence
verbal attacks,
discrediting others,
subtle manipulation,
getting others to mistrust

21. Monitor the pointers……………
Learn to Look
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002

22. • Step out of the issue
• Check what aspect of safety is at risk -
mutual purpose?
mutual respect?
Make it safe!

23. Fix it -
- Apologise
- Contrast to Clarify
- Find and Commit to a mutual purpose
- Return to the issue and brainstorm strategies
Make it safe!

24. Monitor the pointers……………
Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan, Switzler. 2002

25. •Start with the Heart
•Focus the Brain
•Master My Stories
Find your bearings……………..

26. •What do you really want to happen?
•What do you fear might happen?
•What emotions are you bringing to the dialogue?
- guilt?
- fear?
- anger?

27. •Crucial Conversations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan,
Switzler. 2002
•Crucial Confrontations: Patterson, Grenny, McMillan,
Switzler. 2005
•vitalsmarts.com
•The Mediation Handbook; Beer, Stief.1997
•Mediation for Managers: John Crawley, Katherine
Graham, www.conflictmanagementplus.com
•The Fifth Discipline Fieldbook; Senge, Kleiner,
Roberts, Ross and Smith. 1994