Various techniques to be assertive at workplace

1. Assertiveness in
the Workplace
Discussion Session

2. Assertiveness Quiz
On a piece of paper, number from 1
to 10. Write your choice a, b, or c
after each number.

3. 1. You are in a restaurant and order a steak
medium-rare, but it is served to you well-
done. You would:
a) Accept it since you sort of like it well-done
anyway.
b) Angrily refuse the steak and insist on seeing
the manager to complain about the poor
service.
c) Call the waiter and indicate you ordered your
steak medium-rare, then turn it back.

4. 2. You are a customer waiting in line to be
served. Suddenly, someone steps in line
ahead of you. You would:
a) Let the person be ahead of you since he/she is
already in line.
b) Pull the person out of line and make him/her
go to the back.
c) Indicate to the person that you are in line and
point out where it begins.

5. 3. After walking out of a store where you purchased
some items you discover you were short-changed.
You would:
a) Let it go since you are already out of the store and
have no proof you were short-changed.
b) Go to the manager and indicate how you were
cheated by the clerk, then demand the proper change.
c) Return to the clerk and inform him/her of the error.

6. 4. You are in the middle of watching a very
interesting television program when your
spouse comes in and asks you for a favor.
You would:
a) Do the favor as quickly as possible, then return
to the program to finish watching it.
b) Say "no," then finish watching your program.
c) Ask if it can wait until the program is over and,
if so, do it then.

7. 5. A friend drops in to say hello, but stays too
long, preventing you from finishing an
important work project. You would:
a) Let the person stay, then finish your work
another time.
b) Tell the person to stop bothering you and to
get out.
c) Explain your need to finish your work and
request he/she visit another time.

8. 6. You ask a gas station attendant for five
dollars worth of gas. However, he fills up
your tank by mistake and asks for twelve
dollars. You would:
a) Pay the twelve dollars since the gas is already
in your tank and you will eventually need it
anyway.
b) Demand to see the manager and protest being
ripped off.
c) Indicate you only requested five dollars worth
of gas and give him only five dollars.

9. 7. You suspect someone of harboring a
grudge against you, but you don't know
why. You would:
a) Pretend you are unaware of his/her anger and
ignore it, hoping it will correct itself.
b) Get even with the person somehow so he/she
will learn not to hold grudges against you.
c) Ask the person if they are angry, then try to be
understanding.

10. 8. You bring your car to a garage for repairs
and receive a written estimate. But later,
when you pick up your car, you are billed for
additional work and for an amount higher
than the estimate. You would:
a) Pay the bill since the car must have needed
the extra repairs anyway.
b) Refuse to pay, then complain to the Motor
Vehicle Department or the Better Business
Bureau.
c) Indicate to the manager that you agreed only to
the estimated amount, then pay only that
amount.

11. 9. You invite a good friend to your house for a
dinner party, but your friend never arrives
and neither calls to cancel nor to apologize.
You would:
a) Ignore it, but manage not to show up the next
time your friend invites you to a party.
b) Never speak to this person again and end the
friendship.
c) Call your friend to find out what happened.

12. 10. You are in a group discussion at work
which includes your boss. A co-worker asks
you a question about your work, but you
don't know the answer. You would:
a) Give your co-worker a false, but plausible
answer so your boss will think you are on top of
things.
b) Do not answer, but attack your co-worker by
asking a question you know he/she could not
answer.
c) Indicate to your co-worker you are unsure just
now, but offer to give him/her the information
later.

13. Topics Covered
 Four Approaches to Communication
 Three Stages of the Listening
Process
 How Say It Assertively
 Speaking Positively

14. Styles of
Communication
Passive
Passive/Aggressive
Aggressive
Assertive

15. Passive Communication
 Soft voice
 Overly agreeable, no point of view
expressed
 Avoidance
 Withdrawn body language
 Sound unsure
 Beat around the bush
 Sound hopeless or helpless

16. Some Passive Messages
“Uh…if that’s the way you want to do it…um,
that’s fine with me.”
“I don’t know if I could do that.”
“I’ll talk to him soon about that problem; I’ve
just been really busy.”
“I’m sorry to ask you.”
“I hate to bother you.”
“Maybe that’s a good idea.”

17. Passive/Aggressive
Communication
 Appears to agree but really does not agree
 Tells others but not the source of the concern
 Makes subtle digs and sarcastic remarks
 Keeps score, sets conditions
 Nonverbal message contradicts the verbal
message
 Holds back expressing concerns or providing
assistance
 Criticizes after the fact

18. Some Passive/Aggressive
Messages
“I knew that wouldn’t work.”
“If that’s the way you want it…”
“How could you even think that?”
“ When was the last time you helped me?”
“The problem with Joe is…”

19. Aggressive
Communication
 Blaming, accusing
 Intimidating body language
 Demanding, ordering
 Raised voice
 Harsh, personal language
 Verbal browbeating

20. Some Aggressive
Messages
“You must…”
“Because I said so.”
“You idiot!”
“You always…”
“You never…”
“Who screwed this up?”

21. Assertive Communication
 Takes responsibility
 Takes initiative
 Listens actively
 Speaks up, is direct and constructive
 Shows sincerity
 Is solutions focused
 Assumes a confident voice and body
language
 Addresses concerns directly to the source
 Requests needs

22. Some Assertive
Messages
“Yes, that was my mistake.”
“As I understand your point…”
“Let me explain why I disagree with that
point.”
“Let’s define the issue and then explore
some options to help resolve it.”
“Please hear me out and then work with me
to resolve my concern.”

23. Communication Style
Scenario
Say you just received an important
assignment with a tight deadline.
You know that you need
assistance from Sue, a co-worker,
to get it done. Identify the
following communication styles
and pick which you think would be
best.

24. “Sue, look, I’m in a jam right now. You
need to help me get this critical project
done right away! I don’t have time to
hear that you’re busy with something
else. That excuse just won’t fly. So
come on, sit down and let me show you
what I need you to do.”

25. “Hi, Sue. I hate to bother you. I know
you’re probably busy with a lot of other
issues right now. I have one of those
tough assignments. If you have a
chance, maybe you could lend me a
hand for a little bit. But, uh, its okay if
you don’t want to.”

26. “Sue, I know you’re the type who
doesn’t want to put yourself out too
much. Hey, I’m just kidding. But look,
when you were in a pinch last week,
who helped you out? That’s right-me.
So look, I’m in the same boat now.
Don’t worry, I won’t have you do most
of the work anyway.”

27. “Sue, I was just assigned a critical project
that needs to be done in a week. I would
appreciate it if you could lend some
assistance. The project involves an area in
which your experience will really come in
handy. What I’d like to do is take a few
minutes with you now or this afternoon to
determine what time and support you can
lend and to fill you in on the needs of the
project. Does that work for you, and if so,
what time can we meet?”

28. Don’t confuse aggressive with
assertive.
Aggressive
Blunt
Harsh in tone
Blame and Browbeat
Push for your own way
One-way conversation
flow
Assertive
Direct
Firm in tone
Collaborates on
solutions
Speaks up, yet hears
others opinions
Two-way conversation
flow

29. It Isn’t Just What You
Say, But How You Say It
Nonverbal Assertiveness

30. Eye Contact
 Make steady eye contact
 Maintain eye contact
 Look in the right places

31. Eye Contact Pitfalls
 Staring and glaring
 Looking away and all around
 Darting glances
 Blinking excessively
 Focusing in on one person
 Glazing over

32. Body Language
Posture
Facial expressions
Gestures

33. Body Language Pitfalls
 Slouching
 Invading space
 Hovering over the listener
 Looking blank
 Looking stern
 Displaying threatening gestures
 Folding your arms
 Exhibiting distracting habits

34. Set the Tone
 Project your voice
 Show inflection in your voice
 Display sincerity in your tone

35. Vocal Pitfalls
 Sounding uncertain
 Being too soft-spoken
 Mumbling
 Being to loud
 Dropping your voice at the end of a sentence
 Sounding Monotonous
 Putting people down with your tone
 Having harshness in your tone
 Speaking too fast
 Using excessive filler sounds

36. Assertive Communication
is
Not a guarantee
Not another “should”
Not negative
Taking charge of oneself
Middle ground style
An active expressive focus

37. Evaluation Questions
 Strongly agree
 Agree
 Disagree
 Strongly disagree
 Don’t know
1. I found the presentation of material easy to
understand.
2. This Advantage session increased my knowledge on
the subject presented.
3. I will be able to use some of the information from this
Advantage session in the future.
4. The presenter was well prepared for this Advantage
session.
5. This presentation should be repeated in future
semesters.