Description of why JustNotSorry was created and what it does to help people (women especially) be more aware of their word choice and its impact on how they are perceived.

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#JustNotSorry
Just Not Sorry
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@TamiReiss

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Amy Schumer
I’m Sorry
Comedy

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#JustNotSorry
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“I have a dream today!”
Woman in a Meeting: “I’m sorry, I just had this idea — it’s probably crazy, but — look, just as long as we’re
throwing things out here — I had sort of an idea or vision about maybe the future?”
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
Woman in a Meeting: “I have to say — I’m sorry — I have to say this. I don’t think we should be as scared
of non-fear things as maybe we are? If that makes sense? Sorry, I feel like I’m rambling.”
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.”
Woman in a Meeting: “I’m not an expert, Dave, but I feel like maybe you could accomplish more by maybe
shifting your focus from asking things from the government and instead looking at things that we can all do
ourselves? Just a thought. Just a thought. Take it for what it’s worth.”
Woman in a Meeting

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Deborah Tannen, PhD - Who Gets Heard and Why
Style of Talking Unintended Consequences of Style
Sharing Credit
Uses ‘we’ rather than ‘I’ to describe accomplishments.
Why? Using ‘I’ seems to self-promoting.
Speaker doesn’t get credit for accomplishments and may hesitate to offer good
ideas in the future.
Acting Modest
Downplays their certainty, rather than minimizing doubts, about future
performance.
Why? Confident behavior seems too boastful.
Speaker appears to lack confidence and, therefore, competence; others reject
speaker’s good ideas.
Asking Questions
Asks questions freely.
Why? Confident behavior seems too boastful.
Speaker appears ignorant to other; if organization discourages speaker from
asking questions, valuable knowledge remains buried,
Apologizing
Apologizes freely.
Why? Apologies express concern for others.
Speaker appears to lack authority.
Giving Feedback
Notes weaknesses only after first citing strengths.
Why? Buffering criticism saves face for the individual receiving feedback.
Person receiving feedback concludes that areas needing improvement aren’t
important.
Avoiding Verbal Opposition
Avoids challenging others’ ideas and hedges when stating own ideas.
Why? Verbal opposition signals destructive fighting.
Others conclude that speaker has weak ideas.
Managing Up
Avoids talking up achievements with higher-ups.
Why? Emphasizing achievements to higher-ups constitutes boasting.
Managers conclude that speaker hasn’t achieved much and doesn’t deserve
recognition or promotion.
Being Indirect
Speaks indirectly rather than bluntly when telling subordinates what to do
Why? Blatantly directing others is too bossy.
Subordinates conclude that manager lacks assertiveness and clear thinking, and
judge manager’s directive as unimportant.
The Power of Talk

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#JustNotSorry
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• Just
• Sorry
• Actually
• I think / We think
• I feel / I believe
• In my opinion
• I’m no expert / We’re no experts
• Does that make sense?
• Apologies / Apologize / Forgive
• Try / Trying
• I should
• Kind of / Sort of
• Yes, but
• Literally
• Very
Trigger Words

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#JustNotSorry
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Gmail plugin / Chrome extension
Just Not Sorry

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Large Impact
220,000+ users
200 countries

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Confidence for anything
Women need to have 80% competence to feel
confident that they can do something.
Instead of “I HAVE DONE” say “I CAN DO”

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#JustNotSorry
Thank You
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