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Uploaded byLouise Stanger Ed.D, LCSW, CDWF, CIP
Family
This document discusses family relationships and communication. It provides advice on listening skills, boundaries, stages of change, and strategies for helping family members make positive changes. The key points are: 1) Effective family communication requires talking, listening, expressing feelings, adapting to change, and spending quality time together. Listening skills like asking open-ended questions and reflecting feelings are important. 2) Setting boundaries regarding physical, emotional, and spiritual interactions helps define appropriate relationships. Ambivalence about changes needs to be explored to increase commitment. 3) The stages of change include identifying issues, learning skills, and getting needs met. Resistance can be overcome by asking evocative questions, exploring goals and values, and coming alongside
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Family
- 1. Dr. Louise A.Stanger 2017
- 2. Greetings Turn To Yourneighbor Introduce Yourself Say one or two words that pop up in your head when you say the word Family
- 3. How is yourFamily Really Doing? Talking and Listening Expressing Feeling Adapting to Change Sharing Time Together Who’s in Charge ?
- 4. How is YourFamily Doing? Balancing Closeness and Difference Accepting Difference Seeing The Positive Effective Problem Solving
- 5. How are youfeeling? Confusion Anger Saddness Love
- 6. –Johnny Appleseed “Type aquote here.”
- 8. 6 Pillars ofFamilies Stengths
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- 10. What Research hastaught Brene Brown This research has taught me that if we really want to start practicing compassion, we have to start by setting boundaries and holding people accountable for their behavior
- 11. B Interactions with others-Howfar can we go with comfort in a relationship
- 13. Judeo-Christian Beliefs Stresses ImportanceOf Living Life as true self Connect God to all things You do not have to stay with People who Mistreat You PEOPLE-PlACES -THINGS- THOUGHTS -FEELINGS & ACTION
- 14. What is aboundary ? What is ok-What is not Ok? What was ok before Treatment? What is not Ok before? What gets confusing ? Some of my boundaries are today………….
- 15. Whats a Relationship? Family Friends Work School Exercise Church-Mosque-Synagogue
- 16. Boundaries and Relationships PhysicalCloseness-Touching- Privacy-mail -bathroom- clothes-shelter-physical differences-Time -energy Emotional -Beliefs-Thoughts- Secrets-Rules-Sexuality-Time Alone-Gender Preferences Spirtuality-Definition of , Personal Experiences and Practices
- 17. Family Fusion Lack ofPersonal Space Talking Over Controlling Blurred Lines Blaming Finishing Others Sentences Denying Recusing
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- 19. Parallel Processes Families Growalongside of their loved ones The truth is all parents fail their children The task Is growing to find their own ways of Parenting ourselves To Parent From a Place of love
- 20. Recovery Issues Issues EarlyMiddle Advanced Grieving Identify ones losses Learning to grieve Grieve past and present losses Neglecting ones own needs Realization of needs Beginning to get needs met Getting needs met Being Over responsible Identifying boundaries Setting limits Responsible for self-clear boundaries Low self-esteem Identify Sharing Affirming – improved SE Control Identify Taking responsibility Responsibility& letting go All or none thinking Recognize & identify Learning there are choices Multicolored world Being Real Recognize Risking being real Being real
- 21. Recovery Issues Issues EarlyMiddle Advanced Trust Trust can be helpful Selective Trusting Trusting appropriately Feeling Recognizing & Identifying Experiencing Observing & Using Hi Tolerance inappropriate beh. Questioning behaviors Learning Knowing & having safe folks Abandonment & Conflict Recognizing & Identifying Grieving & Resolving Freedom From & work thru current conflicts Giving and Receiving Love Defining: What is love Practicing Refining, loving self, higher power Dependence & Independence Identifying Learning/ Practicing Being healthy
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- 23. What type ofListening Skills do you have ? Open Ended Questions Echo Key Words Paraphrase Body Language
- 24. Roadblocks To Listening PersonalRoadblocks I am ill-kids are ill Had a fight with my partner Have lots of work My phone is ringing I am making dinner etc
- 25. Roadblocks to Listening Ordering,Directing, Commanding Warning or Threatening Giving advice, suggestions, solutions Persuading with logic, arguing Moralizing or preaching Disagreeing, judging, criticizing, blaming
- 26. Listen with Emotional Attunement BeQuiet and actively listen Respond Do Not React Respond with a statement tjhat accurately reflects
- 27. Reflections Repeating what someonehas just said Rephase-Substitute a New Word Paraphase Reflecting a feeling-rephrase a feeling not necessarily the content- Sounds like you are struggling, are frustrated etc
- 28. Sometimes we exaggerate Wedo so as to get loved ones attention If You exaggerate be careful not to be sarcastic So if I hear you correctly your son or daughter, husband wife needs you to bring him So if I hear you correctly, you want to………
- 29. Sometimes we willask about what’s Good or not so Good Good things about Changing behavior Good things about changing behavior Not so good things about behavior Not so good things about changing behavior
- 30. Other times wewill Explore Ambivalence So one the one hand you want to stop smoking and on the other hand you do not So on the one hand you say you are angry and yet you have little emotion On the one hand you want to be able to leave the children with your wife BUT you are afraid to On the one hand you want Mark to get well and be a part of the family and on the other you never want him to return to your home
- 31. Signs of Resistance Filibustering TakingOver Cutting Off Denying Blaming Minimizing Catastrophes Pessimism Demanding Arguing Challenging- Demanding Interrupting- Side Stepping Resisting Discounting Hostility Discouraging Ignoring Inattention Not-talking
- 32. Strategies for Evoking Change AskEvocative Questions Why do you want to make this change (desire) How might you go about that ) (ability) What are the best reasons for doing that?( Reasons) So what do you think you will do (Committment)
- 33. Change Strategies Ask ForElaboration -In What ways Ask for specific Examples -Tell me what you did, when wa the last time that happened Was there ever a time that things were good / What was that like for you?
- 34. Change What will yourlife look like What is the best thing that could happen? What is the worst? On a scale of 1 to 10 how motivated are you-how confident are you Discover Goals and values Join up and come along side
- 35. Be an Explorer Explore SuspendJudgement and Fear Affirm Summarize -And if I heard you correctly, son, daughter, wife, husband, brother, sister
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- 37. Crucial Conversations When goalsare defined by your loved one , Conversations have begun Compliments _positive Verb or reaction to seeing your loved one Indirect-The color of your shirt is lovely Self Compliment-I am proud ofgoing to Alanon
- 38. What is Courage? TellingOur Story and not being Immune to Criticism Listening without Judging
- 39. Let’s Take aFew Minutes Lets Practice Listening Skills How are you today? What are your major concerns? How do you handle disagreements with your loved ones?
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