This webinar provided tips on how to destroy your email program in 3 sentences or less: It suggested sending excessive amounts of email without regard for engagement or unsubscribes, acquiring email lists of questionable quality solely to boost subscriber numbers, and prioritizing social media integration over proven email marketing best practices. The webinar used humor and hyperbole to emphasize the importance of responsible email practices.

1. HOW TO DESTROY YOUR Webinar
EMAIL PROGRAM
January 14th, 2011
✆ Dial-in telephone: 1-516-453-0014
Access code: 689-554-441
Webinar ID: 831-045-944

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WhatCounts

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4. + =
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6. Speaker
Andrew Kordek

7. AGENDA & CAVEAT’S
 Top 5 ways in no particular order.
 Funny but true.
 Face value. Don’t know everything.
 Been there and done that.
 Do. Don’t get down.
 No disrespect.
 Take 1. Go and change.
 One bonus way.
Get Better Everyday.

8. Ready.
Set.

9. #5 – Play hide
and seek.

10. Español My Account Order Status Customer Service Welcome. Please create an account or Sign in. 0 Items
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17. Bury the sign up at the bottom of the page.
Make it 3 pt font and smaller than all other
text on the page.
Never test placement of your email sign up.
If they do find it make them go to another
page and require 15 pieces of information from
them that you will never use.
Make sure you make the social media
buttons way larger and more prominent than
your email sign up, because you can easily
measure revenue on them.

18. What about hide and seek on the unsubscribe?

22. 6 points for email
1. Put it all the way at the bottom and make the subscriber scroll and scroll
and scroll.
2. Make it so they need a magnifying glass to find it buried in the legal
mumbo jumbo.
3. After they click unsubscribe tell them it might take 9 days to process
and then send them more email in the meantime.
4. When they unsubscribe, send them an email asking them if they meant
to unsubscribe. Rinse and repeat….over and over.
5. Offer no link. Ask them to reply to the email with the word
“unsubscribe” in the subject line. Make the reply address
“donotreply@xxxx.com.”
6. Lighten the text wherever the unsubscribe is so its hard to read.

23. #4 – Get Dirty

24. Ask the real tough questions in your program

25. POLL TIME
Do you know how long it has
been since subscribers opened
or clicked your email?
 1 week
 3 months
 Never
 Who cares

26. Who Cares….
keep them on your list.

27. In.ac.tive [in-ak-tiv]:
adj.
1. Potential
Antonym: Not dead yet.

28. Things you should do to keep being dirty.
1. Forget about purging inactives. Who cares if they aren’t
responding to your email. They might one day….right?
2. Your reputation means nothing with the ISP’s. Just set up a
separate sub-domain when it goes bad.
3. Never take an active part in your delivery and put all your eggs
in one basket.
4. Feedback loops are for wimps. Live dangerously and never
check to see what your spam complaints are.
5. Increase your frequency to your inactives. Eventually they will
unsubscribe or buy something.
6. Cave into pressure from senior level management and keep
everyone on your list for as long as you can.

30. Send more. Make more.
Short term gain.
Who cares about long
term effects.

31. POLL TIME
Do you feel as if you send
too much or too little email?
 too much
 too little
 I don’t know

32. 60 emails
in 25 days.
82 emails in
44 days.

33. 61 in November…
but wait, there’s more
Source: Chad White – The Retail Email Blog

34. 64 thru December 27…
118
Source: Chad White – The Retail Email Blog

35. Forget this stuff.
Why even tell them?

36. POLL TIME
Do you feel your acquisition
goals are realistic?
 heck yeah
 heck no
 what goals?

37. Set unattainable goals
+ 10,500%
3
7

38. Live the dream…
3
8

39. Sanity Check

40. ① Send as much email as
you can. Send it to the
point where the subscriber
can’t take it anymore. All
Oink. Oink.
for the sake of making
your revenue number
today.
② Acquire email address
from any source you can
get your hands on. Never
measure the long term
impact of each of the
sources.
③ Buy a list of 50,000,000
email address for $99 or
less.
④ Cram as much content into
your emails as you can.
⑤ Never change. Never test.
Assume that since you are
making money, everything
is ok.

42. Social Media is
the new cool kid.
W
h In 2010, 60% of US
Internet users ages
35 to 44 and one-half
of those in the 45-to-
54 age group will use
social networks at
least once a month.
- eMarketer

43. Email is for
old people
W
h

44. In fact…have you heard its dead

45. ABANDON SHIP!!!!

46. Email is not a
conversation?

47. 27% of business executives worldwide
said they had already integrated social
media strategy into the email
marketing strategy. An additional 24%
said they have formulated an
integration strategy and are currently
researching implementation tactics. -
eMarketer
18% of business executives wanted to
add social components to their e-mail
campaigns and did not know where to
begin. - eMarketer
90% of respondents plan to integrate
social media into their email
campaigns in 2010. - GetResponse
DID YOU?...Really?

48. Now this is
integration!!
All right, we got
10,000 fans!
……now what?

49. 43% of respondents revealed that they don’t need to show
positive ROI to get social media funding from their organization.
- King Fish Media

50. Does email have a seat at the table?
70% of email marketers say they don't have enough staff to prove ROI.
- EmailStatCenter.com

51. Make email
marketing the
myspace of the
marketing
department…

52. Get sucked in.
1. Hire twice as many people dedicated to
social media.
2. Everyone knows that getting 10,000
likes on facebook is better than 5,000
email address.
3. Don’t follow anyone on twitter, just get
followers and copy your email subject
lines into your tweets. Its FREE!!
4. Triple your social media budget and
steal the money from your alloted ESP’s
money.
5. Send out 140 character emails.
6. In fact…abandon your email program for
a quarter and watch the revenue pour
in.

53. #1
E.E.

54. Blame others
when you
don’t execute

55. Email: So simple a
monkey can do it

56. Make email a priority
for someone with
other responsibilities

57. Always worry about how
your program is doing
compared to others.

58. Burn what you have or will learn.

59. But that’s not all…

60. I like the
Our
competitor
#.75
blue
button
is doing it.
We should
Gut vs. Data
do it too

61. LONG LIVE EMAIL

62. Get Started
Andrew Kordek Chief Strategist
andrew@trendlineinteractive.com
@andrewkordek
@trendlinei

63. Would you be interested in hearing
more from WhatCounts and
Trendline about any of the following:
 More re-engagement tactics specifically tailored to your business
 Lifecycle marketing strategy best practices
 Email deliverability tips and consultation services
 Best ways for integrating email & social media

64. Q&A

65. Next Webinar
“How to Deliver the Right Message at
the Right Time – A Ziff Davis Email
Marketing Case Study”
Wednesday, February 2nd
10:30 AM Pacific / 1:30 PM Eastern
Featuring Peter Westerman,
SVP Audience Marketing for Ziff Davis
Enterprise

66. Contact Trendline:
Web: www.trendlineinteractive.com
Twitter: @trendlinei or @andrewkordek
Skype: andrew.kordek
Phone: 224-633-3003
Email: andrew@trendlineinteractive
**Any other method you see fit**

67. Contact Us
WhatCounts, Inc.
315 5th Avenue South, Suite 800
Seattle, WA 98104
800-440-7005
www.whatcounts.com
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sales@whatcounts.com