Hockaday Conflict and Bullying
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What is the difference between everyday conflict and bullying? Learn about different types of aggression and practical tools in responding to conflicts and bullying.
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Hockaday Conflict and Bullying
- 1. Hockaday School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Conflict and Bullying: Their Differences and Your Responsibility Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. About Seattle Girls’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Definition of Conflict • A clash between two individuals or groups • A disagreement or argument about something important • A natural, normal part of life Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 4. When It’s Bullying • Uneven Power • Harm Intended • Repetition • Efforts to hide from adults • Advocacy not changing behaviors • NOT natural or normal Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 5. Direct Aggression • Direct, Angry Words • Physical Fights Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 6. Alternative Aggression • Relational Aggression • Indirect Aggression • Social Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 7. Relational Aggression is when your words/actions hurt relationships (or threaten to hurt relationships) or make someone feel not included or accepted. Relational Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 8. Indirect Aggression is when your words/actions hurt someone and but you deny it somehow. Indirect Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 9. Social Aggression Social Aggression is when your words/actions make someone feel bad about themselves or feel like they’re less popular in a group. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 10. Unhealthy Conflict and Bullying Hurts Everyone • Folks Who Are Targeted • Folks who Engage in Targeting • Folks Who Stand By Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 11. What CAN You Do? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 12. Know the Difference Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. When It’s Conflict… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 14. D.E.A.R. Conflict Resolution Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 15. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy • Describe – Describe actions or words without judgment. • Explain – Explain the impact of those actions or words. • Affirm – Affirm the person or relationship. Assume positive intent. • Request – Request different actions, request an apology, etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 17. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool • Voice – Each person has the opportunity to VOICE their feelings and experience of the conflict using “I” statements. The other person LISTENS before sharing their experience. • Own – Each person takes ownership of their piece in the conflict. “Here’s my contribution to the mess.” • Mile – Each person “walks a mile” in the other person’s shoes and tries to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective. • Plan – Both people work together to make a plan for moving forward. What can we do so this doesn’t happen again? What will we do differently next time? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 18. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Words of Caution • Pushing Behavior • Outside Feelings vs Inside Feelings • Threatening with Relationships • No Joke Zone
- 19. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Apologizing and Accepting Apologies • Apologize for Real • Accept for Real • Don’t Accept Until You’re Ready • Move On Once You Accept
- 20. When It’s Bullying… Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. Are You Often Targeted?Don’t Go At It Alone • Know it’s not right • You deserve better • Ask/Tell them to stop the behavior • Seek healthy support • Tell an adult Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Are You Often Targeting? Don’t Go At It Alone • Know it’s not right • You are better than that • Stop the behavior • Seek healthy support • Tell an adult Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 23. Bystander to Upstander • Speak up when someone else is being bullied • Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that assumption make you silent • Ask questions • Don’t make the person who is bullying into someone who is getting targeted • Actively include those who are easily left out • If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an adult at school or at home • Keep the climate healthy Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 24. Not Taking it Digital • No Digital Conflicts! • The Face Test – would you say it to their face? • The Headline Test – would you want it broadcast? • The Digital Self – are you the same person online? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 25. Questions and Comments Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 26. Inclusive Communities Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 27. Presenter Information Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)