Uploaded byRosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Town School for Boys Conflict and Bullying Parents and Guardians
The document outlines the distinction between conflict and bullying, emphasizing characteristics of each and their impact on youth, particularly focusing on gender differences and types of aggression. It discusses the importance of understanding and addressing bullying through intervention strategies and empowering bystanders. Additionally, it provides resources and advice for schools to combat bullying and promote healthy conflict resolution among students.
More Related Content
Similar to Town School for Boys Conflict and Bullying Parents and Guardians
More from Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Town School for Boys Conflict and Bullying Parents and Guardians
- 1. Town School forBoys Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Beyond Sticks and Stones: Helping Youth Navigate Conflict and Bullying Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. About Seattle Girls’School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Agenda • Conflict versusBullying • Gender, Bias, Conflict, and Bullying • Alternative Aggression • What Can We Do? • Questions • Resources Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 4. Definition of Conflict •A clash between two individuals or groups • A disagreement or argument about something important • Etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 5. When It’s Bullying •Power is uneven • Intent to harm • Repeated and sustained • Efforts to hide from adults • Advocacy not changing behaviors Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 6. Types of BullyingBehavior: and common characteristics of their perpetrators • Traditional Bullying • Clueless Bullying • Bully-Victim Alternation • Popular Bullying • Being a “Facebook Thug” The agent generally has less empathy, patience, caring, and forgiveness for others. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 7. Common Characteristics orBehaviors of Youth Who Are Bullied • They are more sensitive, unhappy, cautious, anxious, quiet and withdrawn than other youth. • They are generally insecure and non-assertive, and react by withdrawing when targeted by other students (rather than retaliating or asserting). • They exhibit sudden change in behaviors: showing signs of depression, not eating, cutting, letting themselves go, losing interest in favorite things, quitting teams, etc. • They may be embarrassed to admit being bullied. They may blame themselves or feel guilty. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 8. Gender Differences Rosetta EunRyong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 9.
- 10. Rosetta Eun RyongLee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 11. Rosetta Eun RyongLee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 12. Special Considerations forGirls Sexy --- Slutty Powerful --- Bitchy Smart --- Bookish Cheerful --- Uncool Confident --- “All That” Athletic --- Jocky Close to Friends --- Lesbian Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. Special Considerations forBoys Do Not Be Weak. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Be so, and you will be likened to a girl or you will be called gay.
- 14. Gender, Bias, Conflict,and Bullying • Source of Power • Worst Labels • Who Bullies? • Who is Bullied? • Social Collective • Abuse and Aggression • Outliers of Victims • Signs of Cry Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 15. Direct Aggression • Angry,Hurtful Words • Physical Fights Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. Alternative Aggression • RelationalAggression • Indirect Aggression • Social Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 17. Relational Aggression includesacts that “harm others through damage (or the threat of damage) to relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion.” Relational Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 18. Indirect Aggression allowsthe perpetrator to avoid confronting the target directly, making it seem as though there is no intent to harm. Indirect Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 19. Social Aggression Social Aggressionis intended to damage self esteem or social status within a group. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 20. Process Break How areyour young people experiencing conflict and bullying? What are the greatest pressures facing them? How do they currently handle conflicts? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. So What? NowWhat? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Distinguish Conflict andBullying Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 23. When It’s Conflict… RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 24. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy Rosetta EunRyong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 25. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy •Describe – Describe actions or words without judgment. • Explain – Explain the impact of those actions or words. • Affirm – Affirm the person or relationship. Assume positive intent. • Request – Request different actions, request an apology, etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 26. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 27. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool •Voice – Each person has the opportunity to VOICE their feelings and experience of the conflict using “I” statements. The other person LISTENS before sharing their experience. • Own – Each person takes ownership of their piece in the conflict. “Here’s my contribution to the mess.” • Mile – Each person “walks a mile” in the other person’s shoes and tries to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective. • Plan – Both people work together to make a plan for moving forward. What can we do so this doesn’t happen again? What will we do differently next time? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 28. When It’s Bullying… RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 29. Bullying Intervention • Knowwhen it is bullying • Stand up for yourself • Ask them to stop the behavior • Seek healthy support • Tell an adult Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 30. Empowering the Bystander Manybullying programs center around agents and targets. Why not address the 60-70% who are bystanders? • Keeps the focus away from blaming the targets or agents. • Cover backstage spaces where only kids are allowed. • Create a mass of empowered allies and shift the balance of power • Create a new path of least resistance. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 31. Ally Skills • Don’tbully • Speak up when someone else is being bullied • Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that assumption make you silent • Ask questions to clarify and to educate • Don’t make the person who is bullying into someone who is getting targeted • Actively include those who are easily left out • If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an adult at school or at home • Keep the climate healthy Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 32. Teach Digital Citizenship •No Digital Conflicts! • The Face Test – would you say it to their face? • The Headline Test – would you want it broadcast? • The Digital Self – are you the same person online? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 33. Rosetta Eun RyongLee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee) Instagram photo by talk2spirit
- 34. Advice for Schools •Policy - A comprehensive anti-bullying policy that enumerates sources of bias and that includes alternative aggression. • Programming - Training for teachers and staff on bullying and bias. Support for teachers and staff in acting to combat bullying and bias. Self-esteem, conflict management, and community building programs and curricula for students. • Practice - Consistent and meaningful follow-through in dealing with acts of bullying and bias. Coverage of unsupervised spaces where bullying occurs most. • PEOPLE - Critical mass of people who are supportive AND active on all levels. • PECUNIARY- Resources – Time, people, money, etc. EMPOWER THE BYSTANDERS! Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 35. Undoing Systemic Problems RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 36. Questions and Comments RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 37. Resources • Joshua M.Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003 • Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion • Emily Bazelon, Sticks and Stones: Defeating the Culture of Bullying and Rediscovering the Power of Character and Empathy. • “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District, http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf • Joe Feagin, “The Two Faced Racism.” White Privilege Conference. Springfield, MA. April 2008. • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. • Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org, http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html • Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine, http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430 7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 38. Gender Specific Resources •The Boy Game, short film and interactive website. • JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters • Jackson Katz, Tough Guise • Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America. • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.” • Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls • Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out. • Michael Thompson, Raising Cain. • Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence • Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth, Promiscuities. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 39. More Resources • “101Ways to Combat Prejudice.” Anti-Defamation League http://www.adl.org/prejudice/default.asp • Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers, http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf • Hafner, Lauren. “Bullying Report: How are Washington State Schools Doing?” Safe Schools Coalition. December 2003 http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org/bullyreport/bullyreport12- 03.html • “House Bill Report - SHB 1444, Washington State” Bully Police USA http://www.bullypolice.org/wa_law.html • “Ten Ways to Fight Hate.” Teaching Tolerance http://www.tolerance.org/10_ways/index.html • “Washington State School Safety Center.” Office of Superintendant of Public Education http://www.k12.wa.us/SafetyCenter/HarassmentBullying/default .aspx Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 40. Presenter Information Rosetta EunRyong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)