Uploaded byRosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Katherine Delmar Burke School Alternative Aggression
The document discusses gender differences, bias, and alternative forms of aggression among girls. It provides information on social development in girls and how behaviors can be perceived differently based on gender. The document also discusses relational, indirect, and social aggression among girls. It suggests empowering bystanders and providing support for both targets and perpetrators of aggression. Recommendations are given for conflict resolution skills, advocating for oneself, and actions schools can take to address these issues.
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- 1. Katherine Delmar BurkeSchool Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls’ School Sugar and Spice but Not Always Nice: Gender, Bias, and Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 2. Agenda • Gender Differences •Gender Bias • Alternative Aggression • What Can We Do? • Discussions • Resources Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 3. Disclaimers and Other Foodfor Thought Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 4. Gender Differences Rosetta EunRyong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
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- 8. Social Development Joanne Deak,Girls Will Be Girls • Self Awareness (0-2) • Parallel Play (2-3) • Interactive Play (3-6) • Transitory Friendships (6-8) • Friendship Clusters (8-10) • Best Friends or Generalists (10-12) • Cliques (12-14) • Interest-Based Friendship Groups (14+) • (Almost) Universal Acceptance (Seniors) Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 9. Special Considerations Sexy ---Slutty Powerful --- Bitchy Smart --- Bookish Cheerful --- Uncool Confident --- “All That” Athletic --- Jocky Close to Friends --- Lesbian Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 10. Process Break Where areyour girls in the landscape of social development and gender norms/expectations? What have you noticed?Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 11. At the Crossroads RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 12. Alternative Aggression • RelationalAggression • Indirect Aggression • Social Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 13. Relational Aggression includesacts that “harm others through damage (or the threat of damage) to relationships or feelings of acceptance, friendship, or group inclusion.” Relational Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 14. Indirect Aggression allowsthe perpetrator to avoid confronting the target directly, making it seem as though there is no intent to harm. Indirect Aggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 15. Social Aggression Social Aggressionis intended to damage self esteem or social status within a group. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 16. Friends and Frienemies RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 17. When It’s Conflict •A clash between two individuals or groups • A disagreement or argument about something important • Etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 18. When It’s Bullying •Power is uneven • Intent to harm • Repeated and sustained • Efforts to hide from adults • Advocacy not changing behaviors Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 19. Outliers of AlternativeAggression Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 20. Process Break How haveyou seen alternative aggression play out in your girls’ lives? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 21. Alternative Aggression: Where Doesit Happen? Students report that alternative aggression happens in the following areas: 55% during recess or break time 52% in the cafeteria 42% in the hallways 37% on the way home 36% in the restrooms 36% in the classroom 29% in gym class 25% in after school sports 17% in after school activities Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 22. Alternative Aggression: Signs ThatShe Might Be Aggressive • Her friends do what she wants to do. • She isn’t intimidated by the other girls. • Her complaints about other girls are limited to the lame things they did or said. • She is charming to adults. • She won’t (or is very reluctant to) take responsibility when she hurts someone’s feelings. • If she thinks she’s been wronged, she feels she has the right to seek revenge. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 23. Alternative Aggression: Signs ThatShe Might Be Victimized • She is more sensitive, unhappy, cautious, anxious, quiet and withdrawn than other youth. • She is generally insecure and non-assertive, and react by withdrawing when targeted by other students (rather than retaliating or asserting). • She exhibits sudden change in behaviors: showing signs of depression, not eating, cutting herself, letting herself go, losing interest in favorite things, quitting teams, etc. • She may be embarrassed to admit that she is being bullied. She may blame herself or feel guilty. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 24. Advice for Girls •Know when it is conflict and when it is bullying • Engage in healthy conflict • Stand up for yourself • Seek healthy support when it is bullying • Tell an adult (tattling vs. reporting) Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 25. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy Rosetta EunRyong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 26. D.E.A.R. Self Advocacy •Describe – Describe actions or words without judgment. • Explain – Explain the impact of those actions or words. • Affirm – Affirm the person or relationship. Assume positive intent. • Request – Request different actions, request an apology, etc. Rosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- 27. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 28. V.O.M.P. Conflict Tool •Voice – Each person has the opportunity to VOICE their feelings and experience of the conflict using “I” statements. The other person LISTENS before sharing their experience. • Own – Each person takes ownership of their piece in the conflict. “Here’s my contribution to the mess.” • Mile – Each person “walks a mile” in the other person’s shoes and tries to see the conflict from the other person’s perspective. • Plan – Both people work together to make a plan for moving forward. What can we do so this doesn’t happen again? What will we do differently next time? Rosetta Eun Ryong LeeRosetta Eun Ryong Lee
- 29. Empowering the Bystander Manybullying approaches centers around agents and targets. Why not address the 70% who are bystanders? • Empowering bystanders keeps the focus away from blaming the targets or agents. • Empowering bystanders gives you a chance at creating a new “cool.” • Empowered bystanders can cover “backstage spaces.” • A mass of empowered allies shift the balance of power. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 30. Ally Skills • Don’tbully • Speak up when someone else is being bullied • Assume positive intentions, but don’t let that assumption make you silent • Ask questions to clarify and to educate • Don’t make the person who is bullying into someone who is getting targeted • Actively include those who are easily left out • If you know someone is getting bullied, tell an adult at school or at home • Keep the climate healthy Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 31. Advice for Schools TheFour Ps • Policy - A comprehensive anti-bullying policy that includes alternative aggression. • Programming - Training for teachers and staff on alternative aggression and gender bias. Support for teachers and staff in acting to combat bullying and bias. Self-esteem, conflict management, and allyship programs for students. • Practice - Consistent and meaningful follow-through in dealing with acts of bullying. Coverage of unsupervised spaces where bullying occurs most. • PEOPLE - Critical mass of people who are supportive AND active on all levels. EMPOWER THE BYSTANDERS! Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 32. Undoing Gender Bias RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 33. Questions and Answers RosettaEun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 34. Presenter Information Rosetta EunRyong Lee 6th Faculty and Professional Outreach Seattle Girls’ School 2706 S Jackson Street Seattle WA 98144 (206) 805-6562 rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org http://tiny.cc/rosettalee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 35. Resources • Joshua M.Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003 • Roy Baumeister, Case Western Reserve University, Various Social Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion • Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers, http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf • “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District, http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. • Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org, http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind and power. • Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine, http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430 7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 36. Resources • Roy Baumeister,Case Western Reserve University, Various Social Psychology Experiments on the Effects of Social Exclusion • Beatbullying Toolkit for Teachers, http://www.beatbullying.org/images/teachers.pdf • “Cycle of Bullying,” North Central Educational Service District, http://www.ncesd.org/safe_civil/docs/resources/cycle_of_bullying.pdf • Kevin Jennings, GLSEN (Gay Lesbian and Straight Education Network) www.glsen.org • Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. • Tara Kuther, “Understanding Bullying,” PTA.org, http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117637268750.html • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on theory of mind and power. • Michael Thompson & Kathy Schultz, “The Psychological Experiences of Students of Color,” Independent School Magazine, http://www.nais.org/publications/ismagazinearticle.cfm?Itemnumber=14430 7&sn.ItemNumber=145956&tn.ItemNumber=145958 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
- 37. Gender Specific Resources •JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive • Pooja Makhijani, Under Her Skin: How Girls Experience Race in America. • John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender differences in competition and play and “Love Lab.” • Northwest Girls Coalition, Protective Factors for Middle School Girls - What can Parents Do? • Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls • Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good Girl • Harriet R. Tenenbaum, “Gender Achievement Motivation,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003. • Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends & Other Realities of Adolescence, Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads • Naomi Wolf, The Beauty Myth. • Naomi Wolf, Promiscuities. Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)