How do you communicate with colleagues when things get hard? This presentation provides a model for how to resolve conflict while strengthening business relationships.

1. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
February 2016
kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu
413-597-3542
Manager, Training and Development
Office of Human Resources
Presented by Kevin R. Thomas
Athletics
The Empowered Professional

2. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
What’s Wrong With This Picture?
https://youtu.be/KCfR83TMMp4

3. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
Why Didn’t People Confront the Line Cutter?

4. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
In groups of 3, share an example of how this happens on the
job.
Sound Familiar?
• What was the impact on the work?
• On your morale?

5. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
Fight and Flight
• Our brains are evolved to scan for threats.
• We react as much to symbolic threats as to real ones.
• Differences in status can easily be interpreted as a threat.
• We’re programmed to respond to threats with fight and flight
behaviors.
• Fight and flight behaviors might be comfortable or stress relieving,
but they don’t move the work forward.

6. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
1. Open an inquiry
2. Demonstrate support
3. Share your ladder of influence
4. Invite them to share their perspective.
5. Solution based discussions
Holding Others Accountable

7. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
Difficult Conversation Done Right
Difficult Conversations
What was different?
What strategies were
used?
How did they handle
emotions?
http://youtu.be/R_SeQQTpVeE

8. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
“Can we take a minute to talk
to something that’s a concern
to me? I think we’d both
benefit from the discussion.”
Open an Inquiry

9. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
“I don’t want to do it
needlessly either …. If you
see it differently, I’d like to
hear your view.”
Demonstrate Support

10. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
Ladders of Inference
Difficult Conversations
Becoming aware of
your ladder of
inference is
another way to
develop emotional
intelligence.

11. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
“We’ve been over these
points before, you don’t seem
to disagree with them. That
makes me wonder if the
reason you want to forgo the
limo is to avoid having to
justify the expense to
corporate, even if it might be
a wise decision.”
Share Your Ladder of Inference

12. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
“Is that part of what’s going
on here, or am I jumping to
conclusions? … If you see it
differently I’d like to hear your
view.”
Invite them to share their perspective

13. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
• Often people rush to solutions too quickly.
• Focus on small steps that could make
things a bit better.
• Ensure both parties are generating ideas.
• Make commitments clear and concrete.
• Schedule a time to check in about
progress.
Solutions focused conversations
Difficult Conversations

14. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
• Read the case study
• What’s Robert’s ladder of
inference?
• How could Robert open a
conversation with Daisy?
Case Study

15. Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
Links coming via email:
Contact Kevin Thomas at 413-597-3542
or email kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu
Athletics
The Empowered Professional
Questions?
• Course page link to all course materials
• Program evaluation link, feedback welcome