This is a condensed deck from the first class of my Winter 2016 section of Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) at the Stanford Graduate School of Business (aka @StanfordBiz).

1. Dynamics
Interpersonal
Ed Batista
Winter 2016
CLASS 1: BEGINNINGS

2. Who am I?
Executive coach, GSB Instructor & alumnus
Contributor @HarvardBiz
The Art of Self-Coaching
www.edbatista.com

3. Why this course
matters to me…
Impact on my career, marriage & life
Ultimately led me to coaching
192 students over 9 years

4. Some basic
Photo by O C Always [link]
concepts

5. Learning & stress
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard psychologists, 1908)
Arousal improves performance up to a point
Modest stress = More effective learning
Too much stress = No learning

6. Learning & stress
Stress
Learning

7. Learning & stress
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & distress

8. Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Essential to push yourself…

9. Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
…but not past the tipping point

10. Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Only you know where it is

11. Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
THIS is the goal

12. Learning & stress
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
NOT this

13. Feedback is…
Stressful
Confusing
Unwelcome

14. An actual gift
No stress
No confusion
Always welcome

15. Also, Scotch
No stress
No confusion
Always welcome

16. If it’s not a gift
It’s data…
…on your response to their behavior
…& on THEIR response to YOUR behavior
what is it?

17. If it’s not a gift
It may be directive
Stop…
Start…
Do more…
Do less…
what is it?

18. If it’s not a gift
But it’s not…
…a commandment
…nor do we have a duty to obey
what is it?

19. It’s not like this…

20. It’s like this
Photo by Unknown. Concept by Kevin Martin.

21. A model can help

22. When you do [X], I feel [Y].
The simplest
feedback model

23. Emotions are
attention magnets
Photo by Garrett Mace [link]

24. Emotions are
attention magnets
Disclosing feelings can be uncomfortable
But we’re wired to respond to emotion
And vulnerability can create intimacy
Comfort with discomfort

25. Social identity
Halvorson (Getting to “Us”)
Positive impact in the workplace
Sense of group identity
= Higher morale & productivity

26. Social identity
Henri Tajfel & John Turner
Group memberships shape individual identity
Stems from a basic cognitive process
= Tendency to group things together

27. Social identity
But we exaggerate…
1. Differences between groups
2. Similarities within groups
= Inevitable stereotypes

28. Social identity
Continuum of social behavior
Intergroup Interpersonal

29. Intergroup
Photo by U.S. Army [link]

30. Intergroup
Photo by Neon Tommy [link]

31. Interpersonal
Photo by Tania Cataldo [link]

32. It’s usually both
Photo by Anne Worner [link]

33. Note….
“Social identity” transcends gender, race, etc.
But not every category = a “social identity”

34. Some (more)
Photo by O C Always [link]
basic concepts

35. Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy

36. CONTEXTLearning,
Awareness,
& Behavioral
Change
Experimentation,
Risk-Taking,
& Vulnerability
Safety, Trust, Intimacy
Initial Conditions

37. Safety, trust,
intimacy
What’s the impact of today’s activities?
What conclusions do you draw?

38. Safety is a means
(not an end)

39. Safety is a means
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
(not an end)

40. How we learn
Conceptual learning is important…[and] has
severe limitations when you want to learn
about how you interact with others and how
they interact with you.
~Interpersonal Dynamics Reader

41. How we learn
The intellectual life of man consists almost
wholly in his substituting a conceptual order
for the perceptual order in which his
experience originally comes.
~William James

42. Act
Reflect
Conceptualize
Plan
Prepare & develop a
future course of action.
Identify principles that help explain the
results & update old theories.
Assess my behavior
& its consequences.
Experiential
learning

43. Dynamics
Interpersonal
For more:
www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html