This document lists the top 10 most common questions or statements that a college professor has heard from students over the course of 11 years of teaching. Some of the most frequent questions include complaints that information wasn't covered in slide shows, excuses for absences, requests for how to study for exams, and questions about what will be covered on exams. The professor emphasizes that students need to attend class, take good notes, read all assigned materials, and avoid distractions in order to succeed in the course.

1. COLLEGE STUDENTS SAY
THE DARNEDEST THINGS!

2. ONE THING IS PAINFULLY CLEAR
AFTER 11 YEARS OF TEACHING
COLLEGE STUDENTS…

3. WHILE THERE MAY NOT BE
SUCH A THING AS A “BAD”
QUESTION…

4. THERE ARE SOME THINGS THAT
GET ASKED OVER AND OVER
AGAIN…

5. …EVEN BY WELL-MEANING
STUDENTS

6. SO IN THE TRADITION OF THE
SOON-TO-RETIRE LATE-NIGHT
CELEBRITY DAVID LETTERMAN…

7. …I BRING YOU…

8. PROFESSOR CARSWELL’S TOP 10 MOST
INCREDIBLE, UNBELIEVABLE, SOMETIMES
OUTRAGEOUS, SOMETIMES WACKY
STATEMENTS/QUESTIONS FROM STUDENTS

9. 10
“That’s not fair!...That wasn’t on
the slide show!”
While having information
provided on a slide show is
undoubtedly helpful to the
students as they follow along
with the lecture for that
particular day, it is important to
remember that these are only
a small part of the lecture.
There is much in the way of
context that is provided during
the lecture about each specific
point. Bottom line…if you rely
on the slide shows alone for a
study tool for your exams, your
chances of succeeding in this
class are very slim.

10. 9
“I couldn’t hear you
during the lectures.”
If so, you need to sit
in the first few rows
from here on.

11. 8
“Here’s my slip from the campus
health center. Can I be
excused from Tuesday’s
class?”
People are known to
become ill during the
course of a semester. If
you are the type of
person who is prone to
getting sick (or having
your car break down, or
whatever), I would
suggest that you plan on
coming every day during
the semester, or you will
not succeed.

12. 7
“I don’t like to speak up during
class…I am a shy and bashful
person.”
You are going to have to
overcome this character trait in
order to receive full
participation credit. This class
(and all other classes, for that
matter) are training grounds for
you to gain confidence in
asking questions and being
assertive. This will only help
you in the working world, and I
can assure you that not having
this assertiveness will not help
you in the long-term.

13. 6
“I am on academic
probation, and I need a
___ in your class to get
off of it!”
If this is the case, you
absolutely need to sit up
in the front and come to
class every single day.
You may also need to
hire a tutor as well. Do
not expect me to bail you
out at the end of
semester out of mercy to
your situation.

14. 5
“I have no idea how to take notes
in your class.”
Everything said in this class
from the podium is fair game
for your exams and all class
assignments. For that reason,
I would hope that you are
actively writing down notes
from the lecture during the
class period. If you have
trouble taking notes, you
should take advantage of
some of the academic support
options that are made
available to you on campus.
Otherwise, you will not
succeed in this class.

15. 4
“My team members never got in
touch with me.”
This excuse is not going to fly
in this class. If you are not
receiving communications from
your team members, YOU
need to initiate contact with
THEM. In the event that they
are not responding to your e-
mails, you need to contact me
immediately and copy me on
all future e-mails to the group.
This may allow me to monitor
just how engaged and active
everybody is with their various
team members.

16. 3
“Could you let me know how
to study for the exam?”
“Could you let me know how
you test?”
Sometimes, these
questions are code for “I
haven’t come to class,
and want to know the
easiest short cuts to get a
passing grade.” Bottom
line, if you read your
assigned readings, come
to class every day, pay
attention, take good
notes, and avoid being
distracted, you will do just
fine on the exams.

17. 2
“I was so close to a B, but
you gave me a B-.”
First and foremost, I
do not GIVE grades,
you EARN them.
Second, “close” does
not count in this
class…you either
meet or exceed the
standards and scores
set forth in the
syllabus.

18. 1
“Is that going to be on the
exam?”
Easily the most asked
question every semester.
The answer is very
simple. Unless otherwise
stated, you can count on
the following things to be
“fair game” for the exam:
*everything stated during
class time
*all slide shows
*all reading material
*anything sent to you over
E-Learning Commons
(ELC)

19. SO TO SUM UP…
• If you follow these rules
of the road, you should
be well on your way to
enjoying the same fate
as this guy!

20. OTHERWISE…
You were warned…
But you didn’t listen…
Now you ain’t got…
A pot to p*** in!