1. Changing Beliefs

2.  1886 - Freud began therapeutic practice and
research in Vienna.
 1911 - Alfred Adler
 1913 - Carl Jung
 1942 - Carl Rogers
 1951 The seminal work of Gestalt Therapy is
published Fritz Perls

3.  1952 - The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of
Mental Disorders (DSM)
 1953 - B.F. Skinner
 1954 - Abraham Maslow
 1957 - Albert Ellis
 1967 - Aaron Beck
 1968 - DSM II published

5.  1930 to 1963
 1929 to 1932 - Three marital clinics opened; they were
service and education oriented, and saw mostly
individuals
 The closest thing to theory was what was borrowed
from psychoanalytic - interlocking neurosis
 1931 the first marital therapy paper was published
 Theory was marginalized due to a lack of brilliant
theorists, and a lack of distinction from individual
analysis

6.  1931 to 1966
 Mostly individual sessions, but some conjoint; still
treated like seeing two individual clients in the
same room though
 Some started to downplay the role of the therapist
 Family was outshining couples work, and the
couple techniques weren't innovative or
particularly effective

7.  1963 to 1985
 Family therapy overpowers couples, even though
a number of big name people really mostly saw
couples
 Jackson- Coined concepts like quid pro quo,
homeostasis, and double bind for conjoint therapy
 Satir - Coined naming roles members played,
fostered self-esteem and actualization, and saw
the therapist as a nurturing teacher

8.  Bowen - Multigenerational theory approach, with
differentiation, triangulation, and projection processes,
with the therapist as an anxiety-lowering coach -
societal projection process was the forerunner of our
modern awareness of cultural differences
 Haley - Power and control (or love and connection)
were key. Avoided insight, emotional catharsis,
conscious power plays. Saw system as more, and
more important, than the sum of the parts

9.  1986 to present
 New Theories were tried and refined, like Behavioral
Marital Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy, and
Insight-Oriented Marital Therapy.
 Couples therapy was used to treat depression,
anxiety, and alcoholism.
 Efforts were focused on preventing couples problems
with programs like PREP
 Feminism, Multiculturalism, and Post-Modernism
impacted the field
 Eclectic integration, brief therapy, and sex therapy
ideas were incorporated as well into our work.

10.  As early as 1960, Gurin, Veroff, and Feld found
that over 40% of all people seeking psychological
help viewed the nature of their problem as marital.
 Manus argued in 1966 that couples counseling
was a “technique in search of a theory” with little
conceptual clarity in evidence (Jacobson &
Gurman, 1995).

11.  Olson (1970), the field’s first chronicler, referred to
marital therapy as a “youngster” which had “not
yet developed a solid theoretical base nor tested
its major assumptions and principles.”
 Six years later he wrote, the field was “no longer
in its infancy” and was “showing signs of
maturing,” although it “appeared like an
adolescent, full of undirected energy.”

12.  1970’s – 1980’s
◦ Family counseling “killed marriage counseling” and did
not see it as independent, different, or important.
◦ This time period was seen as “family therapy’s golden
age.”

13.  Even in the early 1980’s couples counseling
struggled to have a place.
 Haley (1984) put it, “marriage counseling did not
seem relevant to the developing family therapy
field.”
 It was seen that marriage counselors adopted the
ideas of other therapies rather than developing
their own.

14.  Going back to the mid 1960’s to mid 1980’s only a
few new models appeared and only a handful of
important texts appeared.
 By the mid-1980’s, couple therapy had reasserted
its existence and established what would become
more sustained theory development and empirical
research.
 1986 was the beginning of couple therapy’s fourth
and current phase.

15.  1940’s only 5% of marriage counseling met
conjointly
 1950’s rose to 9%
 1960’s increased to 15%
 Not until 1970’s did conjoint therapy become the
predominant technique of couples counseling.

16.  1965 George Bach published “the intimate enemy”
which was a new approach to couples’ therapy.
 Problem was that people needed to air their anger
rather than suppress it
 Expressing resentments would be a catharsis that
would clear the air
 Partners took turns airing their resentments

17.  We now know that there is no catharsis effect in
voicing anger and that Back’s procedure only built
resentment.

18.  Quid Pro Quo
◦ A good relationship is based on reciprocating positive
behaviors and that a bad marriage is caused by a
breakdown of this contract.
 Contingency contracting “give to get”
◦ Each person would identify what behaviors they wanted
to get from the other
◦ Counselor would help couple to write a contract for the
exchange of desired behaviors.

19.  1977 Murstein found that a reciprocity concept
was a hallmark of an ailing relationship…not a
happy one.
 People became “affective accountants” when a
relationship wasn’t working well.
◦ “I did this for her, and she never reciprocated.”
 When the relationship goes well, they don’t think
of this contingency.

20.  Goal was to have couple identify their problem
and them help resolve them.
 Therapist was seen as “super problem-solver”
 Could start anywhere and teach a specific set of
relationship skills
 Belief was that when specific skills were taught all
conflicts would be solved.

21.  Focus on resolution of conflict is misguided.
 Gottman’s research revealed that most conflict
(69%) in relationships is perpetual.
◦ Based on lasting differences in personalities and needs.
 Couples need to dialogue about perpetual issues
or live in a state of ‘gridlock’
 Goal is to manage conflicts rather than resolve
them.

22.  Focus on teaching skills
 System therapists taught:
◦ Avoiding mindreading, establishing clear feedback loops,
being able to meta-communicate about double binding
messages.
 Rogerian and behavior therapists taught:
◦ Active listening to one another

23.  If you teach skills, these are what need to be
taught.
 In happy, lasting relationships:
◦ The approach toward conflict is gentle.
◦ Partners soften the way they bring up an issue
◦ Partners accept influence from one another
◦ Relationships have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative
affect during conflict
◦ Consistently communicate acceptance of one another

24.  In happy, lasting relationships:
◦ They keep their level of physiological arousal low
◦ They pre-empt negativity in the interaction
◦ They repair the interaction and de-escalate if it does
become negative
◦ They move gently toward compromise

25.  In relationships that are ailing and failing:
◦ There is either an escalation of negative affect,
◦ a lack of positive affect,
◦ or a state of emotional disengagement

26.  Assumed all conflicts were alike

27.  Some conflicts are real deal-breakers
◦ These conflicts contain ‘hidden agenda’
◦ Partners have the same argument over and over
◦ Positions are embedded with deep personal meaning so
that compromise seems completely unthinkable
 Need to help couples talk about deeper meaning
◦ Freedom, power, love, and justice

28.  1970s therapy had a strong behavioral and
cognitive base.
 Therapist was the rational and calm one.
 Couple was viewed as emotional and out of
control.
 Following Bowen’s ideas, our job was to help the
couple control their feelings.

29.  Bowen believed that the partners would control
their emotion using reason.
 The counselor was assisting each partner’s
cerebral cortex in gaining dominance over the
primitive limbic system.
 It was emotion versus reason, and reason should
win.
 Goal was supporting the process of evolution.

30.  Bowen’s views about the brain and emotion
versus reason are wrong.
 In the brain there is an integration of emotion and
reason
 Without emotion, problems do not get solved very
well.
 Emotion, prioritizing figure from ground, and the
intuitive ‘sense of the matter’ are essential in
problem solving.

31.  People are not rational decision makers.
 Expressing emotion does not mean being ‘out of
control’.
 Emotion is central to the understanding and
treatment of couples’ relationships.
 Gottman’s research shows that the nature of
emotional interaction predicts what happens to a
relationship.

32.  Affect is not the problem; it is central for
understanding, compassion, and change.
 We need to become the expert on emotion, and
on helping couples establish emotional
connection.

33.  Bowen believed the goal was to help partners
become less ‘enmeshed’ and more ‘differentiated.’

34.  Dependency is now legitimate in relationships.
 Based on attachment theory, the partners are no
longer seen as either dependent or independent.
 Dependency is seen as either effective or
ineffective.

35.  Believed that couples needed to reduce negative
affect and build positive affect.
 Goal of therapy was to help couples schedule
‘love days’ designed to increase positive behavior
between partners.

36.  Building positive affect both during conflict and in
everyday interaction is essential to ensure lasting
change.
 ‘Love days’ didn’t change positive affect during
conflict.
 To increase positive affect, need to focus on
improving both the couple’s friendship and secure
attachment.

37.  Assumed that if we dealt with conflict, the positive
affect systems would be activated automatically.

38.  Positive affect systems must be build and
maintained intentionally as part of therapy
 To build positive affect and secure attachment,
couples need to work on
◦ turning toward bids for emotional connection,
◦ building emotional intimacy, and
◦ building positive affect systems such as
 courtship, romance, lust, sex,
 play, fun, and adventure

39.  Growing awareness that good friendship, positive
affect systems, and constructive conflict need to
be supplemented by building the couple’s shared
meaning system.

40.  Couples need to identify and communicate
◦ their sense of purpose,
◦ the meaning of how they move through time together,
◦ their priorities and values,
◦ what they hold to be sacred
◦ their goals and missions, ethics, morality,
◦ philosophy of life and religion
◦ their legacy from their families and culture
 Goal is to build an existential base to their lives